by Radclyffe
“It’s funny, being home makes some things feel like yesterday.”
Leslie smiled and shook her head. “I’d better go see if Ranger Natalie is ready
to ferry me out to the island.”
“See you later, honey,” her father said.
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WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
“I’m going to go into the ofÞ ce later this morning, Mom. I probably won’t be
home for dinner.” In fact, Leslie thought, she intended to spend as little time as
possible around the lodge until she was ready to leave.
The less she saw of Dev the better.
v
“You really ought to try the pizza at Iannucci’s,” Natalie said, pushing her
breakfast plate aside. “The crust is amazing. I’ll pick one up for you tonight.”
“I’m probably going to be at the lab pretty late,” Dev said.
“So I’ll bring it by.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to.” Natalie’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly and Dev followed her gaze.
Leslie, carrying an armload of laundry, was on her way over to their table.
“Thanks for the loan of the clothes, Dev,” Leslie said, depositing the washed
and folded sweatshirt and jeans on the empty chair next to Dev.
“You’re welcome.” Dev watched Leslie study Natalie with an inscrutable
expression, and wondered if Leslie suspected that Natalie had spent the night.
She felt foolish for wanting Leslie to know that Natalie had slept on the couch
again. What could it possibly matter?
“Ready to hit the water?” Natalie said, smiling at Leslie.
“Sure. Can’t wait.”
Natalie laughed and rose. She brushed a hand over Dev’s shoulders.
“I’ll be by with that pizza delivery.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Dev said. She picked up her briefcase and clean clothes.
“I’m heading into the lab now.”
Once outside, Dev took the turn to the parking lot while Leslie and Natalie
continued on down to the dock. Dev waited a minute before getting into the
truck, watching the two women cast off. Natalie, dark and petite, Leslie lithe
and blond. Both bright, both accomplished, both beautiful. She enjoyed
Natalie’s conÞ dence, her laugh, her sudden ß ashes of authority. But looking at
Natalie didn’t make her burn the way seeing Leslie did. Leslie’s smile had lit the
path through some of her darkest nights, and she’d lain down to sleep countless
times with the sound of Leslie’s laughter ringing in her heart. Now she had the
memory of Leslie in her arms, and for a while at least, whether she
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wanted it or not, there wasn’t room for anyone else. Maybe when Leslie was
gone, and the dreams Þ nally died, there would be.
When Leslie turned in Dev’s direction, one hand shading her eyes in the hazy
glare of a Þ tful dawn, Dev gave a start. Although Leslie was too far away for
their eyes to meet, Dev felt the tug of connection nevertheless. When the boat
pulled away from the dock with Natalie at the wheel, Leslie settled onto one of
the benches. She wrapped her arm around a cleat and faced forward, hair
blowing in the wind. Even as the sound of the engine died and the boat
disappeared like a candle winking out, Dev could still feel Leslie’s presence.
Someday soon that link would be gone, and she wondered if she would rejoice
or bleed.
v
Three days later Dev stood in almost exactly the same spot, watching Leslie’s
mother climb the hill from the boathouse toward her.
It was Saturday afternoon on the Fourth of July and the weather had not
disappointed. It was hot, and it was going to be hotter by nightfall in the
boathouse. She could see from where she stood that all the windows had been
opened. The large wooden frames swung out over the water on either side of
the green rectangular building like rows of dominoes.
The huge double doors that opened onto a concrete ramp leading from the
water had been rolled back, probably in the hope of creating some crossventilation.
Eileen was waving to her, so Dev, carrying her briefcase, walked to
meet her at the top of the path.
“Hello, stranger,” Eileen said, brushing a damp tendril of hair from her cheek. “I
haven’t seen you since the morning after the storm.”
“I had a lot of catching up to do at the lab,” Dev said, which was true. It was
also a convenient way to avoid running into Leslie.
She’d been leaving for the lab before six in the morning and returning well after
ten every night. On her way, she grabbed coffee and a bagel at the roadside
mini-mart that had once been her parents’ store, and ordered take-out delivered
to the lab for dinner. Natalie had shown up as promised with pizza one night, but
she’d been busy too, with the holiday weekend looming, and Dev hadn’t seen
her since. All in all, Dev had managed to be at Lakeview only long enough to
sleep. And for at least half of every day she managed not to think about Leslie.
“Leslie’s been saying the same thing about work.” Eileen fell into
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WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
step with Dev up the gravel path toward the lodge. “She’s been at her ofÞ ce
every day from sunup until I don’t know when. I’ve missed you two at
mealtime.”
“Sorry,” Dev said.
“No need to apologize. I understand you’ve both got a lot to do.”
Eileen halted where the path branched off to the cabins. “I hope you’re coming
down to the party tonight. All of the guests will be there and quite a few of the
locals too.”
“Well, uh…” Dev gazed off over the trees toward the lake. She hadn’t intended
to come. “I might drop by for a few minutes. I’m not much of a party person.”
Eileen laughed. “Well, I hope you do. Are you still planning on staying with us
through Labor Day?”
“Yes,” Dev said, frowning. “Is that a problem?”
“Oh no, not at all.” Eileen smiled. “I’ll see you tonight, Dev.”
Dev waved goodbye and continued on toward her cabin.
Somehow, she wasn’t even surprised when she saw Leslie coming toward her.
It didn’t seem to be possible to avoid her, even when she tried. Not when they
were anywhere near each other. In a ß ash, she took in Leslie’s tailored tan
slacks, her pale silk blouse, the sandals with just a bit of a heel. Her blond
waves fell just to her collarbones, where gold glinted at her throat. Even from
thirty feet away, Dev could tell she had dressed for someone special, and the
realization struck her like a Þ st.
“Hello, Les,” Dev said as they both slowed to face one another.
“Devon,” Leslie said quietly. She had known today would be difÞ cult; in fact,
the next twenty-four hours were likely to be the hardest of any she’d
experienced in years. Rachel was coming, and she wasn’t certain she was
prepared to see her. Dev was still here, and that would make it all the more difÞ
cult. But she’d had plenty of practice in difÞ cult situations, where the slightest
misstep or wrong word could be disastrous. So she’d showered and dressed
and prepared herself as she always did before any kind of confrontation. Her
shields were up, her emotions tucked away. When she’d left her cabin, she’d
known she was ready. And still, the sight of Dev coming toward her in jeans and
a blue button-down-collar cotton shirt had set her heart racing. She knew the
rush of pleasure at seeing Dev didn’t show, and she was glad.
“Recovered from the storm?”
“Oh. Sure. I…” Dev ran a hand through her hair and gave a rueful smile. “I
never was good at small talk.”
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RADCLY fFE
Leslie smiled softly. “I know.”
“How much longer will you be here?” Dev heard herself asking and knew it was
dumb. As if any answer wouldn’t hurt.
“I’m probably leaving tomorrow afternoon.”
Dev couldn’t hide her surprise. “So soon?”
“It’s been almost three weeks, Dev.”
“It doesn’t seem that long.” Dev moved closer to Leslie as a young man and
woman, chatting animatedly, hurried along the path past them in the direction of
the cabins. “But then again, sometimes a day here seems like forever.”
Leslie took in the woods, the glint of blue water through the trees, the warmth of
sunshine on her skin. “It hasn’t changed at all, has it?”
“Not much. Being here with you this summer reminds me of what it was like
when we were kids, and the future was so far away,” Dev said, her words
echoing with melancholy.
Leslie searched Dev’s soulful hazel eyes, recognizing the loneliness Dev had
never quite been able to hide, even behind her tough façade. They had always
seen one another’s truths. When they were together, the pieces of herself she
revealed to no one else slid silently, seamlessly, into place. Even now, she felt it.
But the feeling wouldn’t last, how could it? The past was a place that existed
only in wistful memories, softly colored by regrets and abandoned dreams. “But
it really was another lifetime.”
“I know,” Dev said hoarsely. It was hard not to accept that, when the present
was about to come crashing in. “Is Rachel coming today?”
Leslie was barely able to hide her surprise. “Yes.” She glanced at her watch.
“Her plane arrives around six.”
“My truck’s clean, if you need it.”
“She’s renting a car. Thanks.”
“You never said what she did.”
“She’s an attorney.”
Dev smiled. “I guess you have a lot in common. That’s nice.”
Leslie did not want to talk about Rachel with Dev. It was too much like all the
times that she had avoided talking to her about Mike. Her relationship with Dev
had always been private, intimate, something that was just theirs. Looking back,
she saw that they had never let the outside world touch it. They had kept it safe.
Right up until the end.
Leslie rested her Þ ngers lightly on Dev’s arm. “You were so special to me,
Dev.”
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WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
Dev kissed Leslie softly on the cheek. “Thank you, Leslie.” She stepped back
and Leslie’s hand fell away. Dev’s eyes grew darker. “If I don’t see you, have a
safe trip back.”
“Enjoy the rest of the summer. I hope the work goes well.”
“Thanks. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Devon.” Leslie waited a second until Dev turned away, and then she
resumed walking toward the lodge to wait for Rachel.
Maybe she’d been wrong about the next twenty-four hours. Maybe the worst
was already over. Leslie took a shuddering breath, unable to imagine anything
worse than the pain of that goodbye.
• 191 •
• 192 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Leslie selected a bottle of red wine from her parents’ small but well-stocked
cellar, found two glasses and a corkscrew, and carried everything out to the
porch. She opened the bottle, poured a glass, and sipped it as she watched the
afternoon slide toward twilight.
Guests came and went, laughing together, strolling hand in hand, sharing the
special freedom of vacation in the beautiful setting. She tried to imagine herself
and Rachel spending a week in a place like this. She had difÞ culty creating the
picture, and when her thoughts inadvertently strayed to all the hours she and
Dev had spent sitting quietly talking by the lakeshore, she pulled herself back to
the present.
She reÞ lled her glass and reviewed the details of the cases she’d been working
on all week.
Just before eight, a gray Lincoln Town Car pulled into the lot. A second later,
Rachel stepped out. Leslie hadn’t seen her in three weeks, and her Þ rst glimpse
stirred a slight shock of surprise at how striking she was. Rachel was Leslie’s
height but subtly fuller in the breasts and hips, and altogether arresting in tailored
black slacks, low heels, and an open-collared, man-tailored white silk shirt.
Many an adversary had been lulled into complacency by Rachel’s ripe
sensuality, but Leslie knew that those sensuous features masked a decisive,
lethally predatory mind.
Leslie looked away to pour wine into the second glass and give herself a few
seconds to settle her nerves. She looked up at the sound of footsteps on the
stairs.
“Hello, darling,” Rachel murmured, leaning down to kiss Leslie, her mouth
lingering for a few seconds before she moved away. With a
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sigh, she settled into the chair on the opposite side of the small table that held the
wine. “I certainly hope that glass is for me. I can use it.”
“How was the trip?” Leslie said, automatically handing the glass to Rachel. They
hadn’t touched in three weeks and hadn’t made love for several before that, and
the kiss had felt strangely foreign. Uneasily, Leslie chalked it up to their long
separation.
“Oh, the ß ight was all right,” Rachel said. “But I barely made it to the airport on
time, waiting for a courier to deliver Þ les to the ofÞ ce for the deps next week.”
She grimaced. “Sometimes I think the world is Þ lled with incompetents. No,
actually I know it is.”
“You really didn’t have to come all the way up here, Rach. I’ve booked a ß ight
back tomorrow afternoon.”
Rachel sipped her wine, her expression contained. “I’m on a nine o’clock ß ight
to Detroit tomorrow. I’ll be gone most of the week.”
“Oh,” Leslie said, oddly relieved. “Still, squeezing this stop in wasn’t necessary.”
“Well, I think it was.” Rachel’s voice was throaty as her eyes dropped to
Leslie’s mouth, then back to her eyes. “It’s been a hellacious month. I’ve been
putting in eighty-hour weeks, dealing with idiots for the most part, and I’ve got a
bit of a mineÞ eld ahead of me. Getting the asses of these CEOs at Pharmcore
out of the Þ re is going to take a bit of work.” She traced a Þ nger along the
edge of Leslie’s jaw. “I’ve missed you.”
Leslie forced a smile. She’d missed Rachel too. She’d missed discussing their
respective cases, devising strategy, celebrating victories. She’d missed Rachel’s
acerbic humor and her ceaseless
energy. They understood one another’s need
to win, and she missed not needing to defend herself. What she hadn’t missed,
as she read the unmistakable message in Rachel’s eyes, were their intense, often
frantic sexual encounters. Rachel had always needed sex more than she did. It
was Rachel’s outlet, the way she vented her frustration and settled her nerves.
Leslie could always tell when Rachel was facing a difÞ cult trial because Rachel
wanted to see her more frequently. Then when they were together, Rachel was
physically more demanding, more aggressive. Leslie never minded, because she
often forgot about her own physical wants and having Rachel satisfy them, even
when she hadn’t realized she needed relief, was welcome.
“I’m sorry my visit turned out to be longer than I expected,” Leslie said, growing
more uncomfortable with her thoughts every second.
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WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
“It doesn’t matter,” Rachel said. “I probably wouldn’t have been able to see
you anyhow.” She emptied her wineglass and set it aside, then leaned forward,
her face shadowed as night closed in around them.
“I’ve been thinking of all the things I want to do with you for the last two hours.
Let’s go somewhere so I can show you.”
Leslie’s stomach dropped, and she felt an altogether unfamiliar sense of panic.
She wasn’t ready. She hadn’t made the transition from who she’d been the last
three weeks back into the woman she was with Rachel. She didn’t know
Rachel. No, that was wrong. Rachel hadn’t changed. Nothing had changed. She
just needed a little more time for them to fall back into the old rhythm, then it
would all make sense again. Her head pounded, and she had a ß eeting thought
that she was glad she had started the medication, because her heart was racing
out of control. “Rachel, I’m sorry. I promised my mother I’d help her make sure
everything was set down at the boathouse. The party is going to start in half an
hour. I can’t disappear.”
Rachel gave a faint murmur of protest, but her voice was teasing.
“You know when we haven’t seen each other for this long, it never takes me
half an hour.”
Leslie ß ushed, not from arousal, but because of its absence.
Something was wrong. Very wrong. She hadn’t wanted to run away this badly
since the night she’d realized that it wasn’t Mike she wanted to make love to,