by Anna Ruch
She hugged me and we toasted with a prosecco to this wonderful news.
Three weeks later I landed at JFK and was met by John. As always, he looked dazzling and he beamed at me with his toothpaste smile.
"Darling, how lovely to see you. Let me look at you. You look better every time I see you." John was just a perfect gentleman. He always managed to make me laugh with his disarming cordiality.
"I'm fantastic John. You look very good too. Where is Jeff?"
"He's waiting outside in the car. Let's go see him, and we'll go to our house first. You can freshen up there and then we'll go and get something to eat. What do you say?" How nice the thought of a hot shower was. Although I loved to fly, the flights always strained me a bit and I felt quite carried away.
When we arrived at the car, there was a warm welcome with Jeff as well. Chatting and laughing we drove to their little house in Queens. They had bought it some years ago and I fell in love with this way of living again and again. The small front garden was lovingly tended and on the door hung a colourful garland with the words "Welcome".
The two were really sweet and spoiled me thoroughly.
After the longed for shower we called a taxi and drove to one of the most impressive restaurants in town. At least I was fascinated by the panoramic view from "The View" again and again. From here, one had a dream view to the Time Square and the theatre district. With pleasure I sipped my Martini and let the two men inform me about the latest gossip. I really missed such evenings. There was a certain atmosphere in the air. The flair of the big city combined with the intimacy of the familiarity of good friends. The hours just rested and the evening unfortunately ended much too quickly.
When I woke up the next morning, I was already awakened by the typical smell of an American breakfast. John and Jeff were really a well-rehearsed team. They had turned their house into a little oasis. Every detail, no matter how small, was coordinated and yet did not seem sterile or even uninhabited.
"Did you sleep well," John asked me. "Fantastic, my dear. What shall we do today? Anything on the schedule?" Natürlich I could rely on them. They were perfect hosts and had of course already thought of a program. "After breakfast we would like to drive with you to Ground Zero. You will be surprised how far they have progressed with the construction work. Afterwards we will have lunch in a small diner on Broadway and then take a walk through Central Park. If we are lucky, the weather will hold and we can enjoy the spring sunshine. What do you think about that?"
"That sounds very good, and I give you my day." Laughing we finished our breakfast and set off.
New York has its special charm at any time. But in spring, life seems to reawaken in the city as well. As soon as it is somehow possible, everyone tries to take advantage of the first sunrays. So also on this day.
The construction work at Ground Zero was really very advanced. Those who had ever visited the Twin Towers will never forget the impressions of that time. Even if the new buildings were a replacement for the younger generation, a deep hole had been torn into the hearts of New Yorkers at that time. Interestingly, many New Yorkers had dismissed the World Trade Center as ugly before the accident. But since the attack, it increasingly symbolizes the strength and mentality of New Yorkers. In a special way, it had become a very emotional symbol for this melting pot of nations and cultures.
A few hours later and well strengthened by a short lunch we walked through Central Park. Nature blossomed anew and children played hide and seek in the park. Also the public baseball fields known for Central Park were already occupied by sports enthusiasts. This green oasis in the middle of all the skyscrapers had always fascinated me. One of my first actions - during my time in New York - was to eat my first hot dog from a stand in Central Park. Ever since I had seen Cagney & Lacey on TV as a child, this image had been burned into my head. And I knew whenever I experienced this city, I wanted to do the same.
"Say, Hannah, what are your plans for the next few days? As you know, we have to work and can only be available in the evenings. John looked at me apologetically.
"Don't worry. I'm gonna stroll around town for a while. After all, I lived here. And the day after tomorrow I'll rent a car and drive to Boston."
Since I had not yet told John about Emma's letter, I saw the question marks in his eyes.
"I'm going to see Emma." Jetzt the surprise was entirely on his side. "How will you visit Emma? I thought you had no contact. And how do you know she's in Boston?" John was dying to get all the news from me. "A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with Jane. And she told me that Emma is at Harvard University because of a visiting professorship. Well, and just over three weeks ago, I got a letter from Emma. In it, she wrote me, "she can't stop thinking about me.
"And why am I finding out about this on the side?" John wanted me to tell him in an act of annoyance. But before I could answer, he took me in his arms.
"I'm so happy for you. I'll never forget how depressed you were when you left. Remember I told you then that everything would be okay?"
"Yes, I remember that. You gave me so much strength and confidence with your words back then. And now I'm finally seeing her again."
Dreamily I looked into the distance and enjoyed being in John's arms. "Jeff, what do you think? We should celebrate the whole thing, right?" Die both winked at each other and agreed that we would celebrate the evening in a nice club.
Two days later I drove in good spirits towards Boston. And unlike in Germany, I needed at least 5 hours for the two hundred miles here in the USA. But I didn't mind, because I loved driving in America. The roads are quite long and offer little variety. However, it gave me the opportunity to calm down after the hustle and bustle of New York and to sort out my thoughts.
What would I say first? How would we welcome each other? What should I wear? Would it be like last summer? Or would it be as if we had never met before?
My God, that woman had turned my life upside down. For the last few years, I'd been doing everything I could to move my career forward. I rarely let my emotions get the best of me. But Emma had opened a door for me, and now there was no turning back for me. Everything was easier for me, and I saw things more clearly. I also had easier access to my customers. And now it was almost time for me to see her again. Finally I could ask her all the questions that had been burning on my mind since then. Because if you were honest, I didn't know much about her. Finally I could kiss her again and feel her closeness.
How would it feel...? I just felt like a kid on the brink of disaster and I could hardly handle the anticipation.
Already from New York I had rented a small pension near the campus. As I did not know how long my stay would last, I had directly clarified the option of an extension.
Arrived in Cambridge, I first went to my hotel to get dressed up a little. My excitement was so great that I even had problems with my lipstick. Nothing stopped me now and I drove to the address I knew.
My heart was beating wildly and I heard the blood rushing through my body. My mouth became dry, and I feared that my breath would stop. Without any problems I found a parking space in front of the house and got out with shaky knees. The house was beautiful. It could have been used as a movie set. There were several names on the door. One of the signs said "E. Miller". That had to be her. I plucked up all my courage and rang the bell. When the doorbell didn't answer after a few minutes, I assumed that she was still at the university. After all, it was still early in the afternoon. A little disappointed I went back to my car. Very well, so I thought, then I will come back later again. I'm sure I would meet her then. So I could have a look at Cambridge and the university in the meantime.
On foot I explored Harvard Square and rummaged in the small shops on Brattle Street. I imagined Emma walking along these streets before me.
My way led me through the Old Yard to the Widener Memorial Library. I sat down with a coffee on the steps of the largest private library in the world and wondered if she had ever sat here as well. Perh
aps on the same steps?
I had to stop with these thoughts. After all, I wanted to recite these moments on the most famous campus in the world. What would have happened if I had actually studied one semester at this university. No, I didn't look back on this unmade experience with regret or sadness. Nevertheless, I allowed myself a little excursion into the world of "Would - Would - If - Fantasy".
But my own laughter suddenly brought me back to the "actual world". In addition, a young woman who had taken a seat right next to me now smiled at me. I asked her, irritated, why she was smiling.
"Excuse me. I didn't mean to offend you. But your laughter inspired me to do so." Now I was smiling too. I must have looked pretty rustic.
"No problem. Probably wouldn't have reacted any differently if I were you. May I ask your name?"
"That's reassuring," she replied. "My name is Jill. Jill Smith, and I'm studying marketing here at the university." Sie shook my hand and naturally wanted to know my name. "Hannah. Hannah Schwarz. It's been a few years since I graduated. But I like to think back on it." "And what brings you here Hannah, if I may ask?" Sie made a very nice and open-minded impression and actually seemed to be interested in my answer. "I am visiting a friend. Unfortunately I didn't find her at home, so I went for a walk." "Is this your first time here? How do you like it?" "I am absolutely impressed. I only saw a small part of it. But it's even better than in any movie. This atmosphere is indescribable." "Please don't take this the wrong way, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?" She smiled at me and already after a short consideration I agreed to her suggestion, because in spite of the sun it was getting a bit fresh.
We looked for a nice window seat in one of the cozy cafés called "The Cup" near the campus and stocked up on fresh coffee and some cup cakes.
"And where are you from, Hannah? I can't really place your accent."
"I come from Germany, but I lived in New York for two years. so my English probably doesn't sound so tough anymore."
It was only through my time in America that I had learned that nationality could usually be determined not only by appearance, but also by the emphasis on the English language. Earlier in school I naively thought that accents, dialects and slang only existed in my mother tongue. Very quickly I was taught better in real life and sometimes I was almost proud that I had adapted my pronunciation to that of the Americans.
"And you're from the South somewhere, aren't you?" "Yes, Mam. I'm from South Carolina." She looked at me almost embarrassed. "This is a very nice state, and I've always liked Southern slang." "Thanks. As much as I try, I cannot completely hide my origin. My grandma always said, "Be proud of your heritage." A little embarrassed she looked over at me.
"So, you're going to visit a friend. You know her from your time in New York?"
"Yes, we met there, but unfortunately we lost sight of something in the last few months. Since I was visiting friends in New York, I wanted to surprise them spontaneously."
That's all I wanted to tell her about Emma. After all, I hardly knew her. But I thought it was very nice sitting here with her. In a very charming way, it made me feel for a moment like I was part of the Harvard community.
We drank our coffee and chatted a little more. As dusk fell, I said goodbye and thanked them for the very pleasant conversation. In Germany such a thing would have been unthinkable. But here a good small talk with complete strangers was part of the daily routine.
I went back to Emma's house. Again, I couldn't find her, so I left her a note. On a note I wrote her that I would wait for her tomorrow around 11 o'clock in the café "The Cup". I'm sure the name of the place would mean something to her. I shook off every form of disappointment that came up and went back to my hotel.
EMMA
Finally a few days off. After I had only very rarely gone to my apartment in New York in the last weeks, I decided to make up for it on this long weekend. In case of emergency I left the information with my assistant Jill that I would be back in Cambridge on Tuesday. On this weekend I wanted to welcome spring with Stacy and Jane and plan my trip following my professorship.
Outside it was already getting dark and I packed my car with the most necessary things. I made a short stop at my favourite café "The Cup" to get some coffee and cookies for the trip. As much as I paid attention to my diet, I could hardly pass by good cookies or desserts. Probably I had inherited this passion from my mother. I often remembered how beautiful it was when my mother baked and I was allowed to clean the mixing bowl from the leftovers.
A thousand thoughts went through my mind on the trip. A little more than three weeks ago, I had gathered all my courage and written a letter to Hannah. Until today I had not received any reaction from her.
Maybe the letter was lost somewhere? Or she was on vacation? Other thoughts, that she did not feel like me, I did not want and could not allow. I guess I just had to be patient. I pushed the thoughts aside and preferred to listen to the voice of Barbra Streisand, who sang full of passion of love and heartache. Although it was already evening, the highways were full due to the approaching weekend and the drive was extended for another two hours.
HANNAH
I was sitting in the café at 11 o'clock sharp. I had found a strategically favorable place from which I could keep an eye on the door.
The minutes passed, and with each guest entering, it became clearer to me that she would probably not come anymore. Nevertheless, I bravely stayed in my seat until the afternoon. In the meantime there had even been a shift change. Sadness came over me. I could hardly hold back the tears. Totally absorbed in my world of thoughts Jill appeared once more out of nowhere.
"Hey, what's that face? Yesterday full of joy and happiness, and today I see tears?" Embarrassed, I gathered myself.
"I was just thinking. What a coincidence to see you here again." In spite of the greatest effort I still felt the lump in my throat. But I didn't want those dull thoughts. Probably there was a logical explanation why she hadn't appeared today.
"I often come here to get my coffee. I was made aware of the café by my professor. She loves to drink coffee here and she's very excited about the cookies."
She quickly fetched a drink and sat down at the table with me. "So, did you surprise your girlfriend?" She looked at me expectantly. "No, unfortunately not. Apparently she is indisposed. I didn't see her. It would have been a coincidence. She's probably busy in her department. Since she's only here for a short period of time, she'll probably be fully integrated."
"Oh, she teaches at the university? What's she doing there?" "She is an absolute luminary in marketing and currently holds a guest professorship." Jill's eyes got bigger and bigger and she just shook her head. "Say, could we be talking about Professor Miller?" Nun I also opened my eyes wide. This could not be a coincidence. Could Jill have been a way to get to Emma?
"Yes, her name is Emma Miller. Why?" "Because it's just incredible. She's my boss, which means I'm her assistant." "I don't think so. This is an incredible coincidence." Now, don't get too excited. After all, I didn't want to put Emma in an awkward situation. "Then you can tell me what she's up to." "Well, we had a faculty meeting yesterday and then she left for New York early in the evening. She wanted to relax for a few days. I'm very sorry for you. You probably missed her by a hair's breadth yesterday. I know she still gets a coffee and cookies here before she heads out to the highway."
This information was like a punch in the gut. I honestly didn't expect this. She wasn't even here. She was in New York. It's possible that I only missed her by a few minutes yesterday. Why didn't I wait in the car outside her house? Instead, I went for a walk. I couldn't let that happen. Maybe she had even driven by in her car. Then why was I still here? I should be where she is. But where was that?
"I guess there's nothing to be done," I stammered, trying to make it seem as if I didn't mind.
"Can you give her a message from me?" At least she should know I was here.
"Sure. What should I tell her?"
&nbs
p; "Just tell her I stopped by and give her my business card so she has my new phone number."
And now I just wanted to get out of the café and be alone. There was suddenly an incredible emptiness and deep disappointment in my head. I told myself that it would have been a pure coincidence if we had met. What was I thinking? How could I have come up with the idea to actually meet her here? Yes, it would probably have been a nice surprise, but - I must honestly admit - not necessarily a realistic one.
Before I knew it, I had packed my bags and was sitting in the car heading for New York. From the road I called John and told him that I was already on my way back to them.
Arriving in New York I was spoiled with a hot bath, a fantastic meal and rebuilt my confidence. Yes, they were right. Just don't go crazy. It really would have been a coincidence if I had met her. It probably wasn't our time yet. I just had to keep being patient. Now she had my number and she could call me.
EMMA
The days in New York passed like a blink of an eye. Contrary to my intention to move around the houses with my friends, I rather occupied myself with my upcoming trip.
Besides Europe, I also wanted to see a part of Asia. At least that was my plan. However, I didn't want to make a too narrow planning, but rather decide everything spontaneously. I got myself dozens of travel guides and travel reports and started thinking about it. There were still many things I had to prepare. Which vaccinations were necessary? Were there special entry requirements in the individual countries? Did the Foreign Office have travel warnings? To make sure I didn't forget anything, I made a list of them, which I wanted to work through systematically over the next few weeks.
Oh yes, I also had to update my camera equipment. In the last few years this passion had unfortunately been neglected by me. I wanted to change that again. As soon as I held a camera in my hand, I dived into a world of focused and very attentive perception. I would certainly find many great motifs on my travels.