“Have you been talking to my brothers?” She grinned. “Trust me, none of them think I’m remotely perfect.” Deep affection was in every syllable. If he were one of her brothers, he’d lock her away from the world to protect that big heart of hers from getting damaged by all the forces that didn’t care about laughter and sunshine, that thrived on hate.
“So should I have worn black?” she asked. “Like a cat burglar or a ninja assassin?”
“I’m pretty sure anyone who’s in the vicinity knows we’re here,” he said, distracted by the sight of her getting out of the car. Don’t look at those legs, don’t imagine your hands around that waist, don’t— “Be careful where you step. Or better yet, wait here and let me look around the place first. Those heels could get you killed.”
“And you think that’s going to work. I was not raised to be a shrinking violet.”
“I sorta got that already, but you have no idea what shape that structure’s in.”
“I’ll be careful.” She paused and sighed. “Would you like to take the lead? Would that make you feel better?”
I’ll feel better when you’re tucked in your bed, sound asleep. But that wasn’t a good image for his concentration, either. “It would.” He took the proffered flashlight and turned. “Stay right next to me.” He wished for a weapon as he had not in a very long time. “And do exactly what I tell you.” He looked back at her, surprised to discover that she was apparently taking him seriously. She nodded her agreement, big eyes solemn now.
He led the way, scanning their surroundings constantly, using every skill he’d ever learned to be sure he could protect her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FREDDIE HAD DEFINITELY been here—or someone had. Inside a closet was stashed a threadbare blanket, a ratty quilt and two dented cans of beans that had probably come from the Dumpster. Up in the corner of a high shelf was a torn backpack containing one pair of jeans and two T-shirts, one of them a shirt that Jenna had seen Freddie wearing.
But what killed her was the worn toothbrush and nearly gone tube of toothpaste.
Oh, Freddie. Jenna’s heart broke for the child who’d had to grow up much too soon. Who, even though he had to struggle constantly simply to survive, still tried to make himself presentable.
She backed out of the closet and turned away so Roman wouldn’t see her tears. She must have made some sound, though, because a large hand clasped her shoulder and turned her into him. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve had so much in my life, and some children have such a hard time…it’s not fair.”
His arm slid around her back and pulled her in. She accepted the comfort of settling against his broad chest.
“Life isn’t fair,” he murmured. “But Freddie’s a strong kid. He’ll make it.”
She lifted her head. “Will he? We can’t know that.”
“You’d be surprised what kids can survive.” Something in his voice resonated with sorrow and pain. She very much wanted to ask about it, but she didn’t want to disturb their fragile peace, so she didn’t push.
His big palm cradled the back of her head as his strong arm held her close. “But we’ll find him. We’ll help him.” His gaze locked on hers. “We won’t give up.”
We. A very powerful word to someone who was used to making her own way, to calling the shots, to fighting all attempts to make her obedient and cautious and protected from the world.
He was so much better a man than he seemed to believe. “Roman,” she whispered. Kiss me, she started to say but had the sense that he would never take that first step.
So she took it for both of them. She rose to her toes and laid her mouth on his.
He tried to resist; she felt it. Sensed him layering more chains on any response he might feel.
But she also felt the shudder that ran through him as her tongue traced the contours of his lips. He was a hard man, a wounded one, but he had a beautiful mouth, meant for kissing.
She wrapped her arms around his muscled torso and held on tight.
Until his chains broke.
* * *
I’VE LOST MY MIND. That was all Roman could figure with what little brainpower he had left, as he succumbed to the yearning Jenna had awakened inside him since their first meeting. She was sweet, she was light and life and joy…she was a scorching-hot kisser. And the curves he felt against him…
Sweet hell. Need roared through him as if someone had opened a blast furnace door.
She whimpered and tightened her grip.
He froze. Realized how far gone he was and let go of her. Stepped back, hands out. “I’m sorry.”
She stood there, chest heaving, her eyes huge and luminous in the moonlight. “What?”
He turned away. He couldn’t look at her. His body was raging. He was much too close to losing control.
“He’s not here,” he said brusquely. “And this is no place for someone like you. Let’s go.” Actually, he’d make her let him out of the car as soon as they were back inside a safer perimeter. He wasn’t worried about himself, and he could sure as hell use the run home to blast away whatever insanity had taken hold of him.
But he wouldn’t leave her, not out here. As a matter of fact, he’d insist that they drive to her house where he could see her safely inside first.
Then he would take the long route home. Burn out his brain and the lust that was even now clamoring for relief.
And no, it wasn’t that simple. Lust was an easy answer, but it wasn’t the whole picture. This valiant little creature made him ache. Made his heart yearn, the heart he’d thought lost and cold. Dead—and good riddance.
“Go?” she echoed.
“It’s late. I’ve had a long day,” he forced himself to say casually, though the sleepless night before had little to do with why he needed to call an end to this time with her. The night to come would be worse. That kiss, her body—hell, so many impressions of her he would never, ever forget—would keep him awake for hours. But she was too kind not to go along with his request.
Or at least that’s what he’d expected when he regained possession of himself enough to face her.
Not what awaited him.
“I won’t leave,” she said, chin jutting.
He shouldn’t be surprised. Hadn’t he said she didn’t give up on people? Still, he couldn’t allow it. “No way.”
“You go right ahead, but it’s not that late. He might still show up.”
“He won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. Kids are more resourceful than you realize, when survival’s at stake.” He felt a sharp stab of guilt at just how thoroughly he knew that.
Something must have shown on his face because she asked, “Why does that upset you?”
He hardened his expression. “It doesn’t. The only thing that upsets me is that you’re being purposely dense. I know you’re not stupid, so sheer stubbornness is the only explanation.”
She stared at him, and he was grateful for whatever cover the shadows gave him. “I said let’s go,” he repeated.
Damned if she didn’t cross her arms over her chest, all but daring him to make her.
He couldn’t help it. He chuckled. “I feel sorry for your brothers. You must have been hell on wheels as a little sister.”
Temper vied with her general good nature. “With four of them and only one of me, I had to be strong to keep from getting run over.”
“Strong. Uh-huh. I bet that’s the term they used.”
One good thing—the battle of wills, coupled with the humor, had put a temporary cap on his near-violent need to bury himself inside her.
Something to be grateful for. Now if he could only manage to get her the hell out of this dump. Ordering her, however, was clearly not going to work, however sensible his
intention was.
“Jenna…” He exhaled in a gust. “Look, I’ve had experience with this.”
“I thought you said your grandmother took care of you when your mother left. Am I wrong? Were you on the streets?” Her compassion kicked into high gear.
“No. It wasn’t me. I was lucky. But where I’ve been…”
“In Iraq?”
He wished she hadn’t been present to hear what Ray and Fayrene had said earlier, but he had enough experience with her now to understand that she didn’t forget anything. “Yeah. A lot of kids were orphaned, and they had to fend for themselves. There were so many—too many to help. And the extremists didn’t want us anywhere near the children, so the little ones—” He snapped himself back from that abyss. “Anyway, kids like Freddie don’t make it this long without being cagey. He’s probably out there right now waiting for us to leave.”
Her eyes went wide. “Then we need to stand outside and let him see it’s us.”
He sighed. At least she’d been distracted from asking him for details of his own life. “I doubt it will work, but all right.” He stepped in front of her as she made her way toward the front door. “But I go, you stay inside.”
She was all set to object, but he overrode her. “That’s the deal, Jenna, take it or leave it. You park yourself behind the door, and you don’t say a word. I’m trained for fighting. You’re not.”
“You’re unarmed. And you’re not a superhero, you can’t stop a bullet.”
“Don’t push me,” he warned. “These houses seem empty, but we can’t assume anything. Do you have any paper in your purse?”
She didn’t blink. “Yes.”
“Then write Freddie a note and leave it rolled up in his blankets.” It might send Freddie running, but it might not, and writing it would keep her out of the way while he scanned the surroundings again.
“What do I say in the note?”
That she would even ask surprised him. “I don’t know. Something reassuring. He’s sure not going to show himself if he thinks you’re taking him to the authorities.”
She pondered a minute. “I’ll tell him I’m worried about you. That I need his help.”
He frowned. “No.”
“You’re the one he relates to. He wouldn’t have taken off the other night except that he thought you were going to ditch him. You’re his father figure, Roman.”
“Don’t say that!” He didn’t want that, not ever again.
“You really don’t want anyone getting close to you, do you?”
He turned on one heel. “Write your note. I’ll be outside. Stay here until I say otherwise.”
He put distance between them as fast as he could.
* * *
SHE HAD A LOT to think about. Too many reactions of her own to filter through. So when Roman gave her the green light to come out, then used his body to shield hers, she didn’t fight him. She didn’t even argue when he asked her to drive to her place.
She was on the money about his need for privacy and distance, though, she was positive.
She was definitely going to call Diego. The hour was late, but he was a night owl, and he was one time zone earlier in the far reaches of West Texas. She just couldn’t wait; she felt like she was stomping around in jackboots with Roman, and she didn’t want to do any damage.
Not that he’d let her close enough to do so, except for those brief, staggering moments when he’d all but consumed her. When they’d been so wrapped up in each other that she could have been anywhere—Austin, Paris, Paradise.
Lordy. The man could kiss. No, he was nothing like the man she’d have picked for herself, someone normal, easy to read, someone who was charming and fun and on a solid career path—wait, she’d dated that guy already. Several of them.
Even she could see the humor in that.
This man was worlds away from any of them, all shadows and mysteries and sorrows, and he fascinated her. Admit it, Jen. Teo wasn’t wrong. He’s a mystery you are dying to solve.
Whether he wants you to or not. Which he clearly doesn’t.
“I’ll wait for you to get inside,” he said, interrupting what she realized had been a silent ride.
“I’m fine here. This neighborhood is safe.” She parked in front of her house and swiveled to face him, hoping to convince him to change his mind and let her take him home.
He just looked at her.
She sighed. “All right, all right, but this is silly. You said you didn’t live that far away. It’s no trouble at all for me to take you there.”
“I like this time of night. It’s when I most often run.”
Well. She should probably be grateful he’d shared that factoid about himself. Heaven knows he guarded them as though they were diamonds.
Give it up, Jenna. He’s not budging.
A smart person cut her losses and moved on to the next goal. “Okay, so what about tomorrow?”
“What about it?” She could practically see the shutters slamming closed.
“If Freddie gets my note, how will he find you? Does he know where you live?” Since I’m not allowed to?
“Jenna…” His voice was surprisingly gentle. “He may never show up.”
“And you’re just going to leave it at that? Abandon him? Well, I’m not going to, I assure—”
The hand on her forearm halted her outrage. He was not someone who touched easily, and the feel of his skin on hers was something she wouldn’t forget in this lifetime.
“I’m not giving up.”
“Oh, no—you still have that meeting with Mako, don’t you?” How had she forgotten? “You need backup. I could come with you.”
He swore and twisted awkwardly in the small front seat, gripping her shoulder with all the vehemence on his face. “You. Will. Not. Interfere. Is that clear?”
If his eyes hadn’t been as worried as his words were determined, she might have lost her temper.
Before she could speak, he continued. “I have experience you cannot imagine. I am trained. I’ve killed people, Jenna.” Then, as if regretting his candor, he subsided, though he didn’t let her go yet. “I’m not about to walk into a situation I can’t handle. It’s a fact-finding mission, that’s all. We’ve found Freddie’s hiding place, so I may not need to show up at all.” He pushed into her space. “But you will not get involved in this. If you think you have to bring in Child Protective Services for Damien, then fine, but I’m betting they won’t do anything about Freddie because he’s not that woman’s child. Freddie’s on his own, and if he gets pushed too hard, we may lose him altogether.”
That we again. She couldn’t accuse him of being high-handed because he was clearly very concerned about both the boy and her. She wasn’t foolish and wouldn’t deliberately put herself in harm’s way—at least not unless the circumstances called for it. She had to admit that the feeling of being a team with this strong and capable man, however complicated he might be, was a good one.
“All right.” She nodded, and she could feel the tension in him ease.
But when he backed away altogether, she was sorry. Even if the night had been plenty intense and she needed some time to absorb all that had changed.
“I’m going to do some checking into the options for Damien tomorrow, so we can assess the burden of proof for CPS to get involved and then figure out our next step.” She could see unspoken words spring to his lips, probably words like I’ll take care of this or it’s not my problem or maybe just leave me alone.
But he said none of them. Only nodded.
Then unfolded himself from her car and got out.
But he didn’t move from the spot until she’d pulled into her driveway and gone inside.
She went to the front window and waved to him.
He didn’t smile, didn
’t do anything but give her a half wave in response and take off running.
She pressed her hand to the window and watched until he was out of sight.
* * *
“DIEGO? DID I WAKE YOU?”
“Jenna? What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s fine.”
“You forget that I own a clock. Everyone’s okay down there?”
“As far as I know. How are all of you? How’s Mama Lalita?”
“She misses you, but she’s doing as well as anyone can expect for a woman her age.”
“I miss her, too.”
“What troubles you, Bright Eyes?” Diego was a formidable healer—not only of bodies but of spirits—and part of it was the deep vein of intuition in him. He’d taken over for his grandmother as curandero, but he had additional medical training through the military that made him a godsend for many. Right now his deep voice, as soothing and patient as ever, made her want to climb into his lap and weep.
“I’m all right, really, it’s just that there’s this man—”
Her other brothers would have been jumping in, snapping off, What man? Who is this guy? and barking out orders to be careful.
But Diego only listened.
“It’s not… We’re not—Diego, he’s been in Iraq. He has terrible scars, and not all of them are physical, I don’t think. But he’s all closed in and doesn’t want to talk about himself or get involved with anyone. Yet he’s kind, I’m positive, and he’s reached out to this troubled boy and…” She sighed. “I don’t know how to handle him.”
“He doesn’t want to be managed, honey.” Her brother’s voice held fond amusement. “Do you remember Lobo when he first showed up?”
“Yes.” Lobo was a German shepherd, severely injured and a stray when he’d come to Diego as her brother was recovering from nearly dying on a mission. The two had healed together, and they were still inseparable. “Why?” Though she shouldn’t ask. Diego was a serious man who never said anything frivolously.
“You were young.”
“I was headed off to college.”
“My point exactly.” At twenty years her elder, Diego could have ignored her altogether or treated her like a nuisance when she arrived in the family, but he never had. “He was terrified of people, and he would bite and snap at everyone but me and Mama Lalita.”
A Life Rebuilt Page 13