Somehow he drove home—it wasn’t home, though. He didn’t belong anywhere on this earth.
He emptied his pockets and tumbled onto his cot.
And prayed to fall into the chasm of sleep.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
VINCE RETURNED AND SAT with Jenna while she waited.
“Where’s Roman?”
She couldn’t meet his eyes. “He had to leave.” Please don’t ask me for any more.
He watched her for a moment but thankfully didn’t press. “Okay, so, you know being this kid’s foster parent is a crazy idea, right?”
She laughed softly. “Maybe.” But somehow it felt right. No, she’d never been a parent, but Freddie touched something in her. “He’s got a little brother.”
“Oh, hell, no. Jenna, you can’t just take on two children. You need kids to take care of, we’ll loan you ours. Chloe and I could use a little, ahem, vacation.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
That did make her laugh. “I know it sounds crazy, but I have to do this, Vince. That poor kid has been trying to take care of his half brother when he has no parents himself. He’s living in this abandoned house, and best I can tell, all he owns in the world is a blanket, a quilt and a couple of changes of clothes, yet he’s been looking after his little brother when the boy’s mother disappears. She’s horrible, Vince. She doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s mother.”
“Jenna…” He touched her hand. “There are other people who can take care of children like this.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But Freddie’s different. I’ve never even met the brother, but…”
“Honey, the world is better off because your heart is so huge, but you cannot take on every lost cause you encounter. You’re already doing a very important job. Most people would find that enough.”
“JD offered me a job.” She hadn’t told a soul. “With the foundation he and Violet set up.”
“Really. You gonna take it?”
“I don’t know. I love what I do, but then I see kids like Freddie, and I think about what life holds for him on the street.” She looked at Vince. “The only thing that would make him more of a victim would be if he was female. What JD’s doing is important.”
Vince nodded. “It is.”
Jenna shook her head. “I can’t believe he didn’t squeal on me.”
“Who?”
“JD. He knew…someone in the department told him about my…incident.”
“He knew and didn’t say anything?”
“Trust me, he made all kinds of threats about what would happen if I ever put myself in that position again. But all I did was drive by the house under construction. I do that all the time. I enjoy tracking the progress every day. I had no idea anything like that would happen. It’s not a bad neighborhood, I swear.”
“This kid was stealing from you, from the Foundation and the family. And you want him in your house?”
“He was desperate, Vince. And he came back to help.” She shook her head. “I have no idea how Roman convinced him, but suddenly, there they both were.” She smiled. “Teo and I are hoping Roman will agree to take Teo’s place, so Teo can travel with his wife.”
“What’s his story, Roman? He’s former military, you know.”
She nodded. “I talked to Diego about him. He’s troubled.”
“How much do you know about PTSD? Post-traumatic stress disorder? Those scars of his didn’t come from a tea party.”
“He was in Iraq. Apparently he nearly died.”
“Chopper crash,” Vince acknowledged.
She looked at him “I didn’t know that part.”
“He’s a bad bet, sweetheart. Some guys never make it all the way back.”
She thought about how strange Roman had been tonight, about those times when he’d seemed like someone she’d never met, when he’d punched the glass. And yet that kiss, the sense she had of belonging. Not that he welcomed it, no, but there was the oddest feeling of a puzzle piece that finally fit.
“He’s got problems, that’s for sure. I’m wondering if he went through something like Diego did. Diego told me more about his experience than he’s ever shared before, when I called him earlier tonight.” She glanced at her watch and realized it was probably dawn outside. “Last night, I should say.” She slumped in her chair, exhausted.
“You should go home,” Vince said.
“No, but you definitely ought to. Chloe probably wants to strangle me for dragging you out. Really, Vince, go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
“Nope, not until you’re ready to leave.” He grinned. “I’m your surrogate big brother right now.”
She rolled her eyes. “Like I need any more.” She bent her head to his shoulder. “You’re the best, Vince. Thank you.”
He leaned his head against the top of hers. “No problem, Sunshine.”
Uh-oh. “Please tell me you’re not going to call Dad as soon as you leave here.”
“I was thinking Jesse. Or Cade. Since they’re here in town and can help me keep an eye on you.”
Oh, man… “What would I have to promise to seal your lips?”
Vince chuckled and sat up. “Honey, your promises mean jack diddley. Oh, you’ll have the best of intentions, but then some lost soul will cross your path and—bam! Instant change of course. Okay,” he said in a falsetto, “No, I didn’t mean to adopt this entire family and all their relatives, but I just…they need me.”
She smiled, even as chagrin overtook her. “I’m not that bad.”
“Of course you are. It’s what we love about you, even as we’re all losing our hair.” He slicked his hair back from his forehead and pointed. “See this? My hairline was an inch lower just yesterday. At this rate, I’ll be bald by Sunday.”
She giggled. “Wonder if Chloe thinks bald guys are hot?”
“Anything I do is hot, Sunshine. Surely you know that.”
She swatted playfully at him, and he rose. “The EMTs are good about sharing coffee with cops. Want some? My addiction’s kicking in.”
“Love some.”
“Cream and sugar, right?”
“Right. You are a god among men.”
A quick slash of grin lit that handsome face. “All the women say so.” He walked off, leaving Jenna grinning.
Then a doctor halted in the far doorway. “Freddie Miller?” he said. She’d noticed that families were summoned by the patient’s name.
She stood up. “Over here.” She began walking toward him.
“I’m Dr. Evans. That’s one very lucky young man. Just a slightly longer delay before he got here and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. He’d be in the morgue.”
Thank you, Roman. Not for the first time since he’d left, she found herself wondering where Roman was and what he was doing. “How is he? Will he be all right?”
“Eventually,” the doctor nodded. “But it’s going to be a few days, at least, before we know the full extent of his injuries.”
“Can I see him?”
“After he’s out of recovery, probably another hour. He won’t be conscious, however.”
“Is that bad?”
“We’re sedating him heavily. He suffered multiple blows to the head, and that causes swelling in the brain.”
She bit her lip. “That sounds scary.”
“There are worries about the extent of the neurological damage he’s suffered, but we can’t assess that until he wakes up. His lung has been reinflated, and we had to remove his spleen. His kidneys are bruised and will bear watching. He would have a better chance of recovering, were he not already malnourished. Who are you to him, Ms.—”
“MacAllister. Jenna MacAllister. He’s a friend. But I’m hoping to get custody of him. He has no parents and has been living on the streets.�
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“Do you have other children?” He looked doubtful.
“No, I’m single, but—”
“This is probably gang-related, you know. Sure you want to take this on?”
“I’m sure.”
“CPS will be arriving later, I imagine.”
“I know. As soon as their office opens, I’ll be there. I’m a volunteer with CASA, the children’s advocate association. That should help in qualifying me as a foster parent.”
The doctor shook his head. “Well, God bless you.” He held out a hand. “You’re an optimist, clearly, and the world could use more like you. He’s a lucky young man on many counts.”
She shook his hand. “Thank you, Dr. Evans, for saving his life.”
“The man who brought him in here did that,” he said. “But you’re welcome.” He glanced around. “Where is he, by the way?”
“I don’t know.”
“A Good Samaritan, eh? We need more of those, too.”
Roman wouldn’t call himself that, she suspected. “I agree.”
“Well, just wait here, and the nurse will come get you when you can see the boy.”
“I will. Thank you again.”
The doctor nodded and left.
Jenna sank to her chair.
And released the tears she’d been bottling up for hours.
* * *
VINCE RETURNED, bearing not only coffee but pastries he’d cadged from the nurses.
“If Chloe ever gets tired of you, I get dibs,” she said, around a mouthful of a sugary treat that was surely the best thing to hit her mouth since Ray’s barbecue.
Which led once more to thoughts of Roman. Where was he? She didn’t even have his phone number so she could let him know Freddie had come out of surgery.
Would she ever even see Roman again?
“I’ve got women lined up in droves,” Vince said, dragging her back to the moment. “But I’ll pencil you in at the top of the list, kiddo.”
Roman was not someone she could count on, and she had to accept that. She took another bracing sip of coffee. But she was lucky. Even if her family and friends doubted her sanity, they would support her. Freddie would have uncles galore, all the father figures he could possibly need.
“You worrying over the boy or Roman?” At her surprised look, Vince shrugged. “My detective badge didn’t come in Cracker Jacks, you know. This guy really gets to you, doesn’t he? Seems to go both ways, though.”
Her heart skipped. “Not really. He’s… I don’t think so.”
“I saw the way he looked at you, heard the sound of his voice when he talked about you.”
She couldn’t let herself go there. “While he was squealing on me, you mean?”
“He was right to do it, and you know it. You should never have gotten out of that car. You’re damned lucky he was around.”
“Enough of the lecture, please. I get it.”
“So why the hell didn’t you press charges?”
Misery swam through her. “Freddie would be okay right now if I had. I am so sorry. I just thought…”
Vince rested his elbows on his knees as he spoke to her intently. “Sunshine, your faith in human nature is a gift to a whole lot of people. Don’t beat yourself up. You were trying to live your beliefs.”
“But you don’t share them.”
“Honey, I’ve been a cop a long time. I don’t trust anybody.” He shrugged. “Okay, some people. Chloe and her family, your family, but you know what I mean. I’ve seen the dark side of human nature too often. But get it out of your head that this attack was your fault. I was wrong to put it there. The life Freddie’s living, it’s a miracle something like this hasn’t happened sooner. And Roman’s right—Mako could have made bail by now, even if you had pressed charges.”
“Why did Mako attack Freddie?”
“No idea.” Vince averted his gaze but not quickly enough.
“Oh, no. You think it could have involved me?”
Vince didn’t answer but stood up. “Look, I’ve got to make some calls. I’ll be right over there when they come get you, okay?”
“You don’t have to keep waiting with me.”
“It’s my case now. I need to interview the victim.”
“Uh-huh.” That was probably true, but she knew he would have stayed anyway. She also didn’t believe his hasty denial that somehow she was involved in the attack.
But just as he was walking away, the nurse appeared. “Freddie Miller?”
“Over here.” Jenna rose and scanned for Vince, but he’d heard the nurse and was nearly to Jenna’s side.
They followed the nurse into Freddie’s room.
* * *
ROMAN SHOVED AWAY from the corner where he’d concealed himself in the midst of the busy hospital lobby. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so he’d returned. But now he’d seen what he needed to see: Jenna wasn’t alone. Vince had waited with her. He’d watched the doctor speak to her, caught the mingled joy and worry on her beautiful face after the news.
Freddie had to be hanging in there. Good job, kid. You’re a survivor. She’ll take care of you now, she won’t fail you.
He thought about leaving then, but he’d already tried driving around for a while, hoping he and Mako would cross paths sooner rather than later. No such luck, and after the hours had spooled out, fatigue had crept in, banishing everything else.
He was drained, but if he went home now, with Jenna looking so vulnerable and scared, he’d still never sleep. He had some vague notion of escorting her home, though he’d never let her spot him. Watching over her was one thing; responding to her, trying to match that boundless optimism, caring about her was another.
There wasn’t enough left of him for that. The whole business with Freddie had shaken him. Maybe he’d managed to find the kid, to get him help, yeah, but no one could know how truly close he had been to failing.
He hadn’t had flashbacks like that in months. Hadn’t been ripped apart by inexplicable fury or found himself falling down that long dark tunnel. If he couldn’t control it…
The best thing he could do for any of them was to go back to what had worked before: keeping himself apart. To focus on one minute after the next. To stay busy, working so hard that exhaustion would buy him a few hours’ sleep.
He should leave now, take himself away from the chance of encountering any of them. He would go…once he saw Jenna safely home.
* * *
JENNA BARELY STIFLED her gasp when she glimpsed Freddie. He looked so small and helpless in that bed, hooked to tubes, surrounded by machines.
“He’s seriously fifteen?” Vince asked.
“Very undernourished,” she responded.
“Man.” Vince looked at the nurse. “Any idea when the sedation will be discontinued?”
The nurse shook her head. “No. It’s being done to reduce the brain’s workload. It also keeps him from fighting the breathing tube. A ventilator is doing the work for him to further decrease the demands on his body. That will allow the brain to focus on healing and give time for the swelling to subside. He bore evidence of multiple blows to the head, and with a closed head injury, there’s no room for the brain to expand. There’s a sensor to monitor the intracranial pressure, so we’ll be able to tell when the swelling decreases.” She turned to Jenna. “You’re welcome to stay, but he’s in good hands, and it will probably be a few days before the pressure decreases enough to take him off the sedation. I hear you’re applying for custody. If you give me your phone number I can call you with updates if you need to be taking care of paperwork. There is, however, going to be a limit to what we can tell you if you’re not family, I’m afraid.”
Jenna’s instinct was to stay right here, to grab Freddie’s hand and hold on, to will him
to wake up. “Won’t it help him to know I’m here?”
“It might, but he’s not going to wake up until we think it’s safe for him.”
“Sunshine, go home. It’ll give you time to get to the other things you need to be doing for him right now.”
Her throat was a cold, hard lump. Speaking around it was difficult. She glanced at Vince through a sheen of tears.
He put an arm around her shoulders. “All the equipment makes it look scarier. He’s stable, right?” he asked the nurse.
“Absolutely. And though he’s malnourished, we’re feeding him through a tube, so he’s getting nutrients, probably more than he’s used to. In ICU, we have at most two patients each, and we never leave them unattended. I promise you he’s in the best hands possible.”
Jenna mustered a smile and brushed at her wet cheeks. “Thank you. It’s just…how can people do this to children? Simply abandon them?”
“I know,” the nurse responded. “We see a lot of heartbreak in here. But he’s not a number to me, I swear to you. And he won’t be to any nurse who follows me. Give me your contact information, and I’ll put it in the front of his chart. I’ll share with you as much as I possibly can while you work on the other end.”
“Okay.” Jenna cleared her throat and moved out of Vince’s hold, approaching the bed. “Freddie,” she said, covering the boy’s hand with hers. “I’m so sorry you got hurt—” Her voice broke, but she tried again. “Roman saved you, and I’m here now. You’re not alone. You’re never going to be alone again,” she said fiercely. “You’re going to be fine. You have wonderful people watching over you, and I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”
His head was bandaged, so she couldn’t brush his hair. She settled for laying her hand on his forehead and murmuring a prayer over him. Then she bent and kissed his cheek. “You’ll be okay, Freddie. No one’s ever going to hurt you again, I swear it.” One more kiss, and she stepped back, covering her mouth with her fingers while she composed herself.
Then she turned. “Okay. First, contact information. Then I want to know who to talk to at CPS, Vince, to cut through the red tape.” She walked out of the cubicle and rattled off her phone numbers to the nurse, thanked her profusely and left with Vince.
A Life Rebuilt Page 17