Hatred was a terrible thing, it twisted the mind, tainted the soul. She had done wrong, should have insisted Max tell someone about Gabe and his wife. Gullible, frightened fool that she had been then, still was if it came down to it. Blinking away tears she clutched tighter to the horse’s reins and stumbled along.
Steam wafting up from the hot springs lifted her spirits. The cabin, a little more dilapidated than what she remembered, stood like a beacon of safety. Shelter, plenty of water, and food to be had if one knew where to look. She thanked God for delivering her to such a haven.
She led the horse down-stream so he could drink while she scooped handfuls of water into her own mouth. There was plenty of grass for grazing. Using the length of rope Carl had supplied she tethered the horse under the trees near the cabin, dragged the supplies inside and collapsed in a corner.
After a rest, she would set about organizing her camp and exploring. Chances were caves could be found around here. It would be wise to have a couple of different hideouts in case strangers stumbled upon her.
Carl had supplied a blanket, tomahawk and a lethal looking knife in a leather scabbard, the rope and bags of flour, salt and strips of dried meat. A tin mug and a bowl. From any other man it would be a thoughtful gesture. He had given her the supplies for survival because he didn’t want her to return, or to have her death on his conscience.
Remembering the fiery, all consuming passion she had shared with Gabe in this cabin made her crave what she had lost. If only he could have buried his hatred they both would have found happiness.
Chapter Six
Two weeks passed. She had made herself a marking post and each morning put a notch in it so she would not completely lose track of time. A fire burned continuously in the fireplace she had constructed from the numerous stones and chips of rock scattered around the area. Most times it was just a bed of glowing coals.
Firewood was plentiful. She had made herself several spears for hunting, weaved a couple of reed baskets to store the roots that she found. Skins of deer and rabbits were laid out on the floor to dry. She had even dried a few fish using the salt Carl provided.
She had halved her supplies sharing them between the cabin and a small cave she discovered on one of her forages for roots and grubs. The cave entrance was overgrown with bushes and it would make a good hiding place in the unlikely event strange men found their way here.
Her hearing was acute and she always kept vigilant. It would be nigh impossible for anyone to come here undetected, although there was no point taking unnecessary risks. She was a woman alone and vulnerable.
She was sauntering back from the stream with two plump fish she intended to roast for lunch. Birds suddenly soared skyward, squawking in alarm. Someone was coming.
Fear welled in her throat. She darted behind a derelict wall and peeped out. A man was leading a horse, picking their way carefully over the stone strewn ground. She clutched her spears. Could she spear a man if she had to?
The man came closer. It was Carl. How did he find her? Had something happened to Gabe? She sidled out from behind the wall and startled him.
“What are you doing skulking around here, gal?”
“I’m living here. How did you know where I was?”
“It wasn’t hard to work out.”
“Has something happened to Gabe?” Her voice rose in agitation.
“No, he’s all right. I wanted to check how you were doing.”
“To see if I was dead?” she asked, not even trying to hide her bitterness.
“You ungrateful…..” He slung a sack on to the ground. “I brought you a few supplies.”
“Why would you do that?” She still held the fish in her hands.
“It’s Christmas in ten days. Call it a Christmas gesture.”
“Thank you. I…I’m about to cook these fish. You’re welcome to share.”
His raised his eyebrows in surprise
“I can coat yours with poison.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t have expected anything less. Yes, I will stay for a while, I want to water the horse and give him a rest before I start back.”
She laid the fish on her makeshift stove, a thin, flat rock that rested on the coals. Without speaking, she watched as he walked his horse to the stream. Glancing down at her gown she grimaced. It was ripped, and the rabbit pelts she had sewn into a coat, did little to hide it. Her hair was clean and she wore it tied back with a plaited leather thong.
When Carl returned the fish were already starting to sizzle. He sniffed appreciably.
“I don’t have any coffee to offer you.”
He pulled out a flask and took several swallows. “Whiskey.” He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
“I could make biscuits. I still have flour left.”
“No, the fish will do.”
She squatted on the ground and turned the fish over.
“Aren’t you scared of being here on your own?”
“No.”
“Most women would be. A lot of men too.” Was that grudging respect in his voice?
“I found a cave, and I’ve put a few supplies in there just in case someone did come. I could hide there until they left. Besides, no-one could get up here at night in the winter, too dark and slippery. I would see and hear them in daylight.”
“The horse would be a dead give-away someone was living here, not to mention the fire.”
“True, but they would have to find me first. I lived with the Lakota and roamed the wilderness with my father for years.” Why did she say that? Immediately the words left her mouth his eyes hardened.
“I know you hate Indians, but they never harmed me even though I was never really one of them. Hatred is a terrible thing, it eats you up. Look at Gabe, he turned on me when he found out who I was.”
She gnawed her lip wondering why she was telling him this. “I know I did wrong and caused him to suffer, but I was only sixteen years old and foolishly trusted my husband. Well, I thought he was my husband, only I found out later he already had a wife.
She wrung her hands. “Gabe won’t ever forgive me, will he?”
“I don’t think so. He’s been drinking heavily since you left and he hasn’t had a woman, either. So, revenge didn’t make him happy like he thought it would.”
“Carl, you must know I love Gabe.”
“I guessed you did. If you’re asking me what he feels for you, I don’t know.”
She placed the fish on a piece of bark. “Sorry, no plates.”
Without speaking further, they picked the succulent white flesh away from the bone and ate it.
“Fish cooked on an open fire has a special flavor all of its own. Kept us army scouts alive sometimes.”
“Try these.” She reached into one of her reed baskets and took out a handful of red berries and handed some to him. “They’re good. There’s plenty of food to be had if you know where to look.”
He dubiously put a few berries in his mouth and chewed. She could see by the expression on his face he enjoyed the taste of them.
“Have some more.”
He took several and chewed them thoughtfully. “The Indians killed my wife and son,” he said suddenly. “Raped and speared her to death. My son was three years old. I came home and found her dead on the ground.
“I’m sorry.” There was a look of such sadness on his face she instinctively reached out and squeezed his hand. “It must have been awful,” she said softly. “There are bad people in every race. Perhaps a white man did something terrible to them and they wanted revenge.”
“Maybe. I can’t forget, and I don’t want to.”
˜*˜
After Carl left a cloud of loneliness descended upon her. It had been a totally unexpected kindness for him to check on her welfare. If only it had been Gabe. He didn’t know where she was, or care what happened to her.
She rummaged through the sack of supplies Carl had brought with him. Flour, salt, coffee, dried strips of beef, a small shovel
, a frying pan and a tin for boiling water. It was obvious he thought her stay would be a long one. It would be now winter looked to have set in
A cup of coffee, she had really missed that. Her spirits lifted. Christmas come early. With renewed vigor, she trotted over to the stream and filled the tin. Back at the campfire, she stared into the glowing coals while the water boiled.
She would eat well now with these extra supplies. Not that she had lost weight, quite the reverse. She patted her little pot belly. Suddenly a thought came to her. Shockwaves of fear shot through her, instantly followed by euphoria. Could she be carrying Gabe’s baby?
Her breasts had enlarged, something she had put down to weight gain, the feeling of nausea, tiredness. All the symptoms many of the Lakota women had experienced when they were with child, surfaced. How? She had thought she was barren. Four years of marriage to Max who had an insatiable appetite yet she had never got with child.
Carl had promised he would come again and she had to believe he would. She could stay out here for a few months more, but dared not risk Gabe’s baby by giving birth out here without help. She could still go somewhere else like she planned. Surely Carl would help her once he knew there was a child to consider.
Could she throw herself on Gabe’s mercy? Would he even want a child, particularly one from her? Would his festering hatred cause him to reject his own flesh and blood? Of course, he could take the child and banish her. Have her returned to prison even.
She couldn’t take the risk.
She drank the scalding coffee black and sweetened with sugar. Nectar of the Gods.
Chapter Seven
Carl stomped into Gabe’s parlor. He was slumped in a chair, slugging out of a bottle, unshaven and disheveled. “Sonofabitch. Look at the state you’re in. You’ll kill yourself if you continue like this.”
“Mind your own damn business.”
“You’ve got your head buried inside a bottle most of the day. You’re not eating properly and when is the last time you had a woman?”
“Dammit, Carl, leave me alone.”
“You shouldn’t have done it.”
“Done what?” Gabe snarled, glaring at Carl through bleary, bloodshot eyes.
“Send that woman of yours away.”
“She had to pay for her treachery.”
“Has your revenge made you happy, eased your mind?”
“No.” He ran trembling fingers through his rumpled hair. He could not remember when he had last combed it. “She was good in bed,” he conceded. “The best I ever had.”
“Sixteen years old, and gullible. She was afraid of her husband, believed him when he said he’d told someone to go back for you. Do you want to get her back?”
“How? I don’t even know where she is, could be dead for all I know.”
“She’s not dead, I saw her a few days ago.”
“Where? Damn you, Carl, interfering all the time. It’s not as if you like her.”
“Well.” He grimaced. “She’s grown on me. She’s got guts and I admire that. She made you happy. You were strutting around grinning like a weasel in a hen house.”
Gabe took another swig from the bottle.
“Listen to me. You are as close to me as a son.”
Gabe stared at his friend. He had never spoken like this before.
“Knowing you has eased the pain of losing my own boy. You were happy while she was with you. She’s gone and you certainly aren’t happy now. Push the past to the back of your mind. Concentrate on the present and the future. You’re a young man so there’s still time for you to make a decent, respectable life for yourself. It’s nearly Christmas, peace on earth, goodwill, all that kind of stuff. She’s set up camp at the hot springs.” Carl turned away and stalked off.
Gabe stared after him in open-mouthed shock.
So, Sophie was at the hot springs, was she? Damn Carl for bringing up her name and resurrecting his feelings. His heart wrenched as he recalled what they had shared. He had revenged himself, strange how the victory tasted bitter in his mouth. It had not made him feel any better.
He felt low, despicable and guilty. Max Russell had been an unprincipled, selfish sonofabitch, Sophie little and frail, easily intimidated. Why did he see it all clearly now? He had let the thirst for revenge take over from common sense, had driven her away in the cruelest possible manner. She would hate him and he would not blame her. Stupidity had caused him to lose the only woman who could make up for the loss of Laura. The only one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He held his head in his hands. Would she forgive him? Did Carl want her for himself? More importantly did she want him? The thought corroded his insides until he wanted to scream out in agony.
What a fool he had been to banish such a beautiful and passionate woman. She was everything he had ever dreamed of having and loco, fool idiot that he was, he had driven her away.
˜*˜
Sophie woke up from a fitful sleep, feeling sad and weepy. She had hoped Carl might return, but he didn’t. She stumbled outside to the fire and threw a log on to the glowing coals, watching as a shower of sparks shot out.
She hung the half full can over the heat and sat there listlessly eating a handful of berries. Later, she would go out hunting, a tender young deer would be nice, especially if she rubbed it with wild mint leaves to enhance the flavor. Because it was Christmas day she would reward herself by roasting a few of the potatoes Carl had provided.
Would it snow? On the one hand, it would be lovely watching the white flakes falling from the sky, hanging like diamonds from the leaves. Could she survive the cold out here on her own? What if a blizzard came? How long would her supplies hold out if she was unable to hunt?
She patted her stomach. “Don’t worry, my darling you will never want for anything, I swear it.”
Sitting near the fire with a mug of coffee, she let her mind drift. The noise of scattering stones shocked her into full awareness. Jumping to her feet she reached for her spears. Too late to run. The man who was leading a chestnut horse raised his arm. It was Gabe. She turned to flee.
“Please Sophie. Don’t run away from me.”
“Go away.”
“I’m sorry for what I did. Can you forgive me?”
“I don’t know.”
Hooking his horse’s reins over a bush he came closer. His face was pale, the skin drawn tightly over his prominent cheekbones. His eyes were dull, with dark bags hanging under them. The man was a wreck of his former self. His hungry gaze gobbled her up. Did he notice her slightly swollen belly?
“I love you, Sophie and I want us to get married. I’ll make it up to you, I swear it.”
She wanted to believe him, but fear held her back. What if he did not want their child?
“You love me.” He edged closer. “I know you do. Please, don’t let what I did ruin things between us.”
Glancing into his eyes, she read the sincerity in them, still she hesitated. “Things have changed.”
He rocked back on his heels. “You and Carl?” He pulled her into his arms. “You’re mine.” His mouth found hers in a desperate wanting kiss.
She was not strong enough to refuse him. This might be the last chance of tasting his passion. Her lashing tongue swung against, encircled and danced in wild abandonment with his. He moved his mouth to the madly convulsing pulse at her throat. “Marry me, Sophie, please, I’ll make it up to you I promise. I’ve been such a fool. Forgive me darlin’, and marry me.”
“I love you, Gabe even after everything that happened. I can forgive you, I’m not sure I will ever completely forget.”
“I lived with the hate for so long.” He ran his forefinger across her trembling lips. “I didn’t think I could live without it, now I know I can with you beside me. It doesn’t excuse what I did to you, but my wife and unborn child perished on the wagon out in the wilderness.” Great sobs racked his body.
“Oh, my love.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry. I didn’
t really understand what Max had done, not until later when he boasted about it.”
“You were so young, and obviously innocent to the ways of a selfish, manipulative man.” He scrubbed at the tears rolling down his cheek. “I shouldn’t have blamed you.”
“I do love you, Gabe. I never stopped loving you.” She rested her hand on his heart and it pounded against her palm. “Things have changed.”
“Changed?”
“Yes.” She took his hand and ran it across her belly.
“You’ve put on weight. I noticed your breasts are heavier, much fuller than they were before.”
“We’re having a baby.”
“What!”
His hands moved across her belly and hips. “More rounded,” he muttered. He cupped her breasts, feeling their weight.
“Say something. Does it displease you?”
He gave a soft chuckle, which did funny things to her insides. “You know what this means?” He placed a soft, gentle kiss on her mouth. “We’ll have to get married immediately. I can’t risk you escaping my clutches now. And Sophie, your announcement has pleased me – very much.”
“Oh, Gabe.”
He climbed to his feet, swung her up in his arms and strode into the cabin. “Let’s have a bit of loving, then we can discuss our wedding plans.”
She put her arms around his neck and nuzzled his throat. Their past lives had been marred by tragedy and betrayal, now they had a chance of happiness.
Gabe’s marriage proposal was the best Christmas present she had ever received.
THE END
If you enjoyed reading Sophie’s story, a short review on Amazon would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. Margaret
Books by Margaret Tanner
Lily – Guilford Crossing Brides – Book 1
Freddie – Guilford Crossing Brides – Book 2
Alfie – Guilford Crossing Brides – Book 3
Alex – Guilford Crossing Brides – Book 4
Beltane Bride
Sophie Page 6