by Len Webster
The Better Man
Copyright © 2020 Len Webster
Published by Len Webster
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re- sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.
Published: Len Webster 2020
Editing: Jenny Sims
Cover: Najla Qamber Designs
Cover photography: Regina Wamba
Interior design: Leslie Webster
Contents
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Better Man (4:23)
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-one
Twenty-two
Twenty-three
Twenty-four
Twenty-five
Twenty-six
Twenty-seven
Twenty-eight
Twenty-nine
Thirty
Thirty-one
Thirty-two
Thirty-three
Thirty-four
Thirty-five
Thirty-six
Thirty-seven
Thirty-eight
Thirty-nine
Forty
Forty-one
Forty-two
Forty-three
Forty-four
Forty-five
Forty-six
Forty-seven
Forty-eight
Epilogue
#thenextbookbylen
Prologue
Want more angst?
Acknowledgements
Also By Len Webster
About the Author
For Ella,
For always being there for me when I couldn’t find myself.
A stronger woman like you is what the world will always need.
All my best stories, sad and good, are best told with you in them.
You will be an incredible doctor.
Better Man (4:23)
-Little Big Town
Prologue
Savannah
Senior year of college
I did it.
After four years at Duke University, Savannah Peters had finally done it. She was graduating college. It wasn’t easy. It meant a lot of sacrifices—especially with her parents’ divorce after high school and her mother’s demands to make her choose which parent she would rather live with. To this day, it still surprised Savannah that her mother ever thought she would pick her. Living and staying in North Carolina meant her mother’s control over her continued. Never again, she thought when she had followed her father to Vermont for the summer before her freshman year of college. Savannah’s mother warned her not to expect her tuition to be paid, so Savannah was not surprised when she learned her mother had pulled her funding.
Frozen her accounts.
Found a way to ensure her trust funds were no longer accessible to her.
Savannah had lost her right to her family fortune.
Her freedom had come with consequences. And that led to her working at Chino’s coffeehouse during her four years at Duke. College was expensive. Her student loans meant graduating with so much debt. A debt her father was working two jobs to pay for. Most nights, when she heard her father’s tired voice, she wondered why she didn’t just give up on college. Yet Savannah knew that most jobs wanted college graduates, and after all the sacrifices her father had made, she couldn’t let him down.
Newly graduated, Savannah still felt guilty that her best friend’s parents had paid for the apartment she had lived in for the past two years. She appreciated the Parkers for making college easier for her, but now it was all about to change. She wouldn’t see her roommate and best friend every day. Alexandra Parker and her boyfriend had told her before the ceremony that they were moving to Zürich, Switzerland, for Alex’s research assistantship. As for Savannah, she was moving back to Vermont to live with her father. Vermont wouldn’t be so bad. With her father’s help, she was able to get a job at the company he worked for. A paid internship was better than unemployment. It wasn’t going to be glamorous, but as long as Savannah had a paycheck at the end of each week, she would be happy.
“We did it! I can’t believe this piece of paper is gonna keep me in debt for like forty years,” Gavin, her former Chino’s co-worker, groaned as Savannah laughed. She was in a circle with some of her fellow business school graduates. She had graduated with many of her friends but wished she was able to walk with her best friend. Savannah hadn’t seen Alex since before the ceremony, and she wanted to congratulate her on graduating with high distinctions.
“Here’s to that,” Savannah cheered as she raised her diploma. It would take years to pay off all her student loans, but she would rather that than her mother’s control over her.
“Oh, my God!” Ripley, the strawberry blonde who Savannah had become friends with during junior year, said. She sounded a little breathless as she stared at her phone.
Savannah raised her brow. “What?”
Ripley held up her phone for Savannah to see the message on the screen. Her eyes widened as she took in his picture and his surroundings.
God, does he look good in a suit.
Savannah swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw the graduates around him. Not just any graduates. Duke graduates.
He’s here.
“Is-is this real?” she asked.
Ripley looked down at her phone as Savannah felt hers vibrate in her dress pocket. Yes, dress pocket. Savannah had found the perfect dress the moment she realized it had pockets. It was a hit when she pulled out the mints from her pocket and handed them to the people in her row when the speeches grew boring and repetitive, garnering her a thumbs-up from the other Blue Devils.
“Staci from my accounting class says so.” Ripley lifted her chin and grinned. “Maybe if I find him, I can get a real graduation present from one of the last national champions Duke had.”
Savannah wasn’t stupid. She knew Ripley meant she wanted to have sex with him. Most of the school did when he was a student, and many girls had even cried when he graduated and left Duke for the NBA.
Savannah included.
But she wasn’t like most girls.
At least, that was what she told herself.
As Ripley told the group of her plan, Savannah felt her phone vibrate again. She stepped away from her friends, turned, and then pulled it out. Her heart ached to see his name on her screen. Ached at the missed opportunities and pain. At the torment and the could-have-beens. And at the intensity of what they secretly shared. Inhaling a deep breath, she opene
d his text message.
Him: Guess the whole school knows I’m in town. Can I see you?
Him: I’m behind you. Can you get away?
Butterflies took flight in her stomach and found their way to her chest where they settled. Their wings fluttered over each beat and supported it with gentle touches. Her eyes met his, and all those secret memories took her back.
To a better time.
Memories she never shared with anyone but him.
Memories of him playing basketball, and Savannah secretly cheering for him.
Memories of sneaking into his room when his apartment was quiet and dark.
Memories in a bed he shared with another.
The final memories that ended them.
Memories that plagued her.
Actions that were wrong.
Affections and intimacy that were forbidden.
Savannah tucked her phone back in her pocket under her graduation gown and made her way toward him. He wasn’t surrounded by graduates, and she assumed no one noticed him since he was away from the crowds. When she finally reached him, a smile spread across his lips. That smile had delivered heartbreak numerous times, and Savannah knew it all too well.
“You still take my breath away,” he greeted. He could be swoon worthy when he wanted to be. That had been a large factor to her falling. He was an arrogant douchebag most days, but at night, when it was just them, he was hers. She got to have him like no other.
The flutters in her heart became gale force winds as she looked around. No one had discovered him just yet, so she had to be quick. They didn’t have a lot of time. She was supposed to catch up with Alex after the ceremony. There was no way she could explain this situation without hurting her best friend.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she said, staring into those beautiful gleaming eyes.
He reached into his pocket and produced a ticket. “Maybe you shouldn’t have sent me a ticket.”
Her shoulders lost strength. She had sent it when she was drunk one night after missing him. That weekend, months ago, had been a mistake. He had visited the school for a talk, and she caved. Alex had been in California, and Savannah found herself too weak to fend him off. It was also the weekend her mother called with another one of her stupid ultimatums. She had hoped Drunk Savannah didn’t know where the stamps were. However, Drunk Savannah not only knew where the stamps were, but also remembered his address and found a mailbox to send it. She had prayed he wouldn’t come.
But here they were.
Staring at each other for the first time in months.
Savannah, the Duke graduate, still nursing her broken heart.
And him.
The man responsible for her tears.
The man who kept secretly coming back to ruin her.
“I don’t have time for this. If she sees us—”
He stepped closer. “Alex would what?”
Alex.
Her best friend.
She couldn’t do that to her.
Savannah had kept them a secret from her for so long.
“She—”
“She won’t care because I was just told she has a boyfriend.”
Her heart came to a roaring halt. Savannah’s lip trembled. Alex had kept her relationship with Evan Gilmore a secret. She was scared that if anyone found out that Evan was more than her best friend, it would get back to him. “How did you find out?”
His nostrils flared as he lifted his chin. “I have my ways.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief. “How?”
He stepped closer, ignoring her question. “Why did you send me a ticket? We both agreed.”
You set the terms.
I agreed.
I never negotiated my heart’s mercy from you.
A traitorous tear ran down her cheek. And as if he had the right to, he reached up and brushed it away. His touch lingered as he cupped her cheek. “We agreed it was the end.”
She clenched her eyes shut for a moment as she inhaled a deep breath. Once she exhaled, she opened her eyes to see the truth in his. They had ended, but her heart never stopped yearning for him. Savannah pressed her lips together and nodded.
“We did.”
His thumb brushed her cheek. “I still don’t love you, Savannah.”
The heat in her chest reignited to swallow her. She was a dry forest on a hot summer’s day, and he was the embers that lit her. A fire enraged to destroy her and leave her with only ashes as a memento.
He still didn’t love her.
He still refused to.
And the stupid, naïve girl in her still hoped he would feel what she did.
But she was now a college graduate.
Savannah was about to leave Duke and their memories.
It was time she left him and the constant wishes that he’d be better than what he had been toward her.
Something had to give.
And that something was him.
This was her end and not his.
These were her terms.
Her final signature on the contract.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know you still don’t love me, Walter Vidović.”
One
Savannah
Momma: I don’t see what the problem is. Your home is in Southport, not Vermont. Your future is with Cameron. He still loves you and wants to marry you. Stop being so proud, Savannah May. He can take care of you, and you won’t need to work anymore. You will have money again. Please stop ignoring my calls so we can discuss your future here in North Carolina.
Savannah Peters groaned as she set her phone down on the desk and covered her face with her palms, frustrated with her mother once again. The easiest solution would be to block her, making it hard for her to contact her, but Savannah couldn’t. In some twisted way, she still had hope that her mother would see sense and realize just how toxic and selfish she was.
To this day, her mother still believed that she and Cameron should get married and join their families. Cameron’s family was one of the oldest and wealthiest in Southport—which made her mother desperate for them to marry and drove Savannah crazy. In her mother’s eyes, Savannah was a pawn with no mind of her own. And to Cameron, he just wanted a wife after he failed to play college football. Savannah was nothing but a trophy to them. All they saw was a housewife and not the marketer she was working night and day to become.
Sighing, Savannah pulled her hands from her face and picked up her phone. She shouldn’t reply, but the constant frustration with her mother had coiled into a tight ball for some time. If she continued to ignore it, she was sure it would explode. The tension needed to ease just a fraction. Just enough so her mother would back off.
Savannah: Momma, I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you a thousand times more, I am not marrying Cameron. My life is here in Vermont. I don’t want money at the expense of my happiness. Don’t you care about me being happy?
It took her mother seconds to respond, much to her dismay.
Momma: I care about your happiness. I am your mother. What is so bad about being Cameron’s wife? Your best friend is married and has a baby. You can have that, too.
Of course her mother would bring her best friend into the conversation. And every time she did, Savannah felt a tinge of envy in her chest, wanting what Alexandra Gilmore had.
The loving, devoted husband.
The beautiful daughter.
The successful career.
Savannah wanted it all.
But in her own time.
Savannah: I know I can have that, but I am not having it with Cameron.
Momma: Why?
She knew the words to end this pointless conversation.
Savannah: Because I don’t love him. And I will never love him again.
After she had sent the message, Savannah locked her phone and set it down next to her keyboard. With a heavy exhale, she brushed her loose hair behind her ear, ready to focus back on work. But she felt so unhinged. Savannah shouldn’t hav
e replied to her mother because she always felt horrible after their conversations ended. She belittled her and never saw her as a person. Never saw that Savannah was working toward being something in the marketing industry.
As she took in her desk, she felt a sense of pride swell in her chest, replacing the tension from before. She didn’t have much. It was a small desk, but it was hers, and she had earned her place. Her father was proud of her career and her choices—and that made her feel better. She did it to repay him for working night and day to send her to college. When her eyes landed on the picture frames on her desk, Savannah smiled and reached for the one in the middle.
Savannah had printed the new picture of her holding her best friend’s daughter yesterday during her lunch break. Miller Gilmore’s bright green eyes were beautiful. Savannah loved her goddaughter. Loved her giggles and smiles every time they FaceTimed together. Miller was the good, wholesome, and bright light in her life. And sure, Savannah wanted a child of her own someday, but she wanted to have a child with someone she loved and trusted. Someone she could share the world with.