by Ciana Stone
Olivia turned to look at him. “Come on, you know it is. Everyone wants to feel beautiful to someone. And if there isn’t anyone in whose eyes we are beautiful, then we settle for the illusion of beauty where we can find it.”
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
He saw the surprise on her face, even though it passed quickly to be replaced by an expression he never thought he’d see on her face or in her eyes. Longing. But for what?
“You’re so sweet, Max.” She looked down, breaking eye contact for a moment. “But I’m not.”
“You are to me.”
She looked up at him again, breathing out a little sound that was so sexy he felt something south of the belt react. She reached up and placed her hand on the side of his face. “You have no idea just how irresistible you are, do you, Max? I don’t get why you don’t have girls crawling all over you.”
“Am I?” Had he heard her right? She thought he was irresistible.
“Oh, yeah.” Her eyes held his for one more moment. Just before her hand fell away from his face, he saw the expression change in her eyes. Something sad crept in.
He grabbed her hand as it left his face. “To you?”
“Max.”
He’d never heard his name spoken like that. It sent something cascading through him that was almost paralyzing. Her voice, so soft, so filled with emotion, his name like a prayer falling from her lips.
Max could not control his reactions. He reached up to cup her face in his hand, leaning toward her slowly. He could feel her breath, smell the beer she’d drank.
Their lips were nearly touching when she pulled back. “No. Max, no.”
The joy and excitement of a moment ago was crushed at her words. “Why? Don’t you want to?”
“Max. It’s not that… it’s… its’ just not right. You’re seventeen. A minor. If you think I could get in trouble for giving you a beer, then magnify that by a thousand if I… if we… we can’t Max. It just can’t happen.”
“But what if it could, Livi? What if I wasn’t a minor?”
“But you are,” she said gently.
He almost argued that it didn’t matter, but he didn’t want to fight with her. And it occurred to him that if his age was the problem, he would wait until age wasn’t a factor. He’d be eighteen in June. Then age wouldn’t stand between them.
He could wait that long. Livi was worth it.
“Okay,” he said.
She hugged him, holding on tightly for a moment. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, Max and I mean that. You’re kind and funny and you see things other people can’t. You’re talented and sexy and I envy the woman you choose to spend your life with because she’s getting someone more special than she can imagine.”
With that, she stood, tossed her beer bottle into the trash, and hung the strap of her camera around her neck. She extended her hand to him.
Max didn’t hesitate to take it. In silence, they walked back to the clubhouse. She held his hand until he reached to open the door for her.
He didn’t know a lot about relationships and love, but it had to mean something that she hadn’t let go.
The Present
Max ran his hands over his face as the memory faded. He couldn’t let it end like this. She might walk away again, but not before he knew the truth and got answers to questions that had haunted him for over ten years.
He grabbed his keys and headed for the garage. Just as he opened the car door, a thought came to him. He hurried back inside to his bedroom.
On the shelf in his closet was an old shoebox. He took it from the shelf and returned to the garage. He’d heard her say she was staying at the San Antonio Weston so he knew where to find her.
An hour and a half later he pulled into the parking garage of the hotel. He pulled out his phone, found the number for the hotel, and placed a call. “Hi. I just called for Olivia Warren, but I must have dialed wrong. Could you give me her room number?”
The clerk gave him the number and asked if he wanted to be connected. He said he did and then hung up before the call rang through.
He entered through the garage and took the elevator up to the fourth floor. In a moment, he was standing outside her door.
Max hesitated for a moment. Was he doing the right thing? He knew he needed this, but what about Livi? Was he wrong to press her for answers or was he entitled to know the truth?
Whether it was right or wrong, he had to do this. He’d tried to move beyond it, but it was always there with him. He wasn’t ever going to be able to be truly happy until he knew. However immature or juvenile that was, it was the way he felt.
He knocked on the door.
“Coming!” He heard her voice a few moments before the door opened.
Her expression was like the old cliché of a deer caught in the headlights when she saw him. Wearing a long tee shirt and baggy sweatpants, her hair was wet and her face scrubbed free of makeup.
Despite all the years that had passed, she was beautiful. Maybe more so. Time had etched a few fine lines at the corners of her eyes, and her features were a bit more angular but that added a certain character he found appealing.
“Max! What are you doing here?”
“I really need to talk to you, Livi.”
He could tell by the way she hung onto the edge of the door and the tension in her stance she was debating whether to let him in.
Finally, she stepped aside. “Come on in.”
He entered and looked around the room. There was an electronic tablet lying on the bed. He walked over and picked it up. Displayed on the screen was a shot of him.
Max looked at it for a moment. He’d been looking directly at her when she took the shot. Something she’d told him a long time ago came to mind. She’d once said that one of the things she loved about him was that his face was an open book, whatever he was feeling was always right there in his eyes. There was no deception in him.
That seemed to be all too true if this photo was any indication. Even he could see the haunted, yearning expression on his face and in his eyes.
“So what do you want to talk about?” Her voice prompted him to replace the tablet on the bed.
“Us.”
Olivia blew out her breath and crossed her arms over her chest, each hand rubbing the opposite upper arm in a gesture that either signified she was cold or nervous. It was warm in the room, so it must be the latter.
Max didn’t wait for a response. He took a seat on the end of the bed, still holding the box.
“I know it’s been a long time, and a lot has changed. But I’ve thought about that time every day since you left and every day I’ve wanted to talk to you, to tell you how I felt and ask you why.”
She looked away, paced to the window and stared out. “Max, I told you. I had an opportunity— “
Max was suddenly angry. He knew she was lying. She’d never been able to look him in the face and lie. That’s why she wouldn’t look at him. She knew he’d see the lie for what it was.
“That’s a lie and we both know it.”
She turned to look at him. “What difference does it make now, Max? That was over ten years ago.”
“It makes a difference because it shaped everything that happened afterwards.”
He saw the closed expression that came on her face. Anger was not going to get him anywhere. He shoved the anger back, softening his voice.
“I wrote you and emailed. Every day. You never answered.”
She did not respond. She just looked down at the floor.
“Did you just walk away and forget?” He asked. “Did nothing of the time we shared mean anything to you? Not all the times we worked side by side, all those times we chased down leads from the police scanner or celebrated a good paying job with something besides pizza on Friday night? Not spring break or the festival in May or the prom or— “
“Max, don’t.” She looked up, an
d he saw the tears glistening in her eyes.
“Why, Livi?” He got up and walked to her, wrapping his hands around her upper arms and turning her toward him. “Why? Because I was totally off base and none of it meant anything? Was it that easy to forget me?”
She shook her head, blinking at the tears that were starting to fall.
Max wanted to fold her in his arms, to kiss away those tears. Despite everything, he still clung to the idea that she had once loved him, that his love for her had meant something then and that somewhere in her heart it still did.
“I never forgot you, Max,” she whispered. “Not working with you or having pizza night or spring break…”
Her eyes moved up to connect with his and he was carried back in time.
March 2004
Max jumped every time he heard a car on the road. It was the last two days of spring break. His parents had allowed him and two of his friends to use the lake house for the week, without parental supervision.
His friends, Jason and Derrick, were leaving that afternoon. They both had dates that night and a night of beer with the buddies couldn’t stand up to dates.
Max wasn’t upset about it. He’d called and asked Olivia to come up for the weekend and she’d agreed to drive up Saturday afternoon. She made no promise to stay, but at least she was coming.
It was nearly two, and he’d been sitting outside waiting since noon. Had she changed her mind? Should he call her?
No, he would wait. She’d never lied to him before. If she said she would be there, she would.
Only not soon enough for him. Max knew he had it bad for her. Even Jason and Derrick had clued in on that a month ago. They were forever giving him a hard time about it.
He had never admitted to having feelings for Livi, but his friends had known him since grade school. They could read between the lines.
Max thought they were even a little envious. It wasn’t every day a guy in high school got a chance with an older woman. Especially one as hot as Livi.
“Hey, when’s your babe getting here?” Derrick asked as he came through the back door with a beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other.
“She didn’t say. And she’s not my babe, she’s my boss.”
“Yeah, right, whatever. Me and Jas wanna ski. Can I have the keys to the boat?”
“No way. You’re drunk. My dad’ll kill me if anything happens to that boat.”
“Then you drive.”
“Uh, waiting here?” Max reminded him with a dramatic gesture.
“Not anymore,” Derrick replied. “I hear a car.”
Just then Livi’s car pulled up beside the house. A moment later, the engine cut off, and she climbed out of the car.
“Woo,” Derrick whispered.
“Knock it off,” Max warned and got up to go meet her.
She was dressed in cutoff jeans, and a white tank top with a bikini top beneath it.
“Hey!” She reached in the back seat for a tote bag. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. You want to come in?”
“And miss this sunshine? Not a chance.”
“Hey, you wanna ski?” Derrick called from the porch.
Livi looked up at Max. “Isn’t the water still a little cold?”
“Yeah.”
“No, thanks,” she called back to Derrick. “You go ahead.”
“They need me to drive the boat,” Max explained.
“Oh, well, I’ll ride along.”
“Cool. I’ll go get the keys. Want me to put your bag in the house?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Max took her bag and hurried to the house. When he returned outside, he could see Livi on the dock with Jason and Derrick. She was snapping photos of them as they clowned around.
“You ready?” He asked as he reached them.
“Born ready,” Jason boasted.
“And had a relapse,” Derrick added.
Livi just smiled. Max gestured toward the boat and she climbed in, followed by Jason and Derrick. Max started the boat, and they cruised out into the center of the cove.
He readied the tow lines, while Jason and Derrick put on life vests, threw the skis into the water and jumped in.
Livi moved to the seat beside the driver and swiveled with her camera to her eye. Max heard the shutter fire as he moved from the back of the boat to his place at the wheel.
The afternoon passed quickly and by six, his friends were ready to head back home. Max and Livi stood on the front porch and watched them leave.
“You hungry?” Max asked as the car pulled away. “We have some steaks. We could cook out.”
“That’d be good,” she agreed.
“Cool.”
They went inside, found some potatoes they could wrap in foil and bury in the coals to cook and a loaf of frozen French bread.
Max busied himself starting the charcoal while Livi stayed inside to wrap the potatoes and bread in foil and put the bread in the oven to warm.
He fell into a little fantasy as he worked. They were a couple, and this was their place. The idea appealed to him. He could see them as a couple.
Livi walked out with a couple of beers. “How long till the charcoal’s ready?”
“Uh, not sure, half an hour?”
“Ummm,” she murmured and took a drink. “Thought I might take some shots of the cove. It’s really pretty with the light falling.”
They got caught up in the photos, moving from one place to another, spotting a shaft of light here, or a bird on a low hanging branch, talking and laughing, along with drinking a lot more than Max was accustomed to.
Darkness was upon them before they realized how late it was. And before they realized the charcoal had gone out.
“That’s not good.” Max looked down at the grill.
“No, biggie,” she replied. “I’ll put the potatoes in the oven. Start the coals again.”
Max worked on the coals while she went inside. She returned with more beer. She draped one arm over his shoulder and leaned against him. “I’m going to regret this in the morning,” she said as she tilted the beer up to her lips.
Max didn’t care how he felt in the morning. Right now, he had Livi all to himself, had a major buzz, and all was right with the world.
He turned toward her, and she stumbled. Max caught her, his arms going around her to steady her. She laughed, looked up at him and the smile on her face vanished.
“You’re so dangerous,” she said softly.
“Me? Dangerous?”
“Lethal.”
“How?”
Livi chuckled and pushed away. “Like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t.”
“Okay, if you say so. So, what you want to do while we wait for the coals?”
What he wanted to do was not something he would admit. He wanted to kiss her, to put his hands on her. That’s all he’d wanted for months. But he was too chicken to try since that night at the country club. He wasn’t eighteen yet. If he tried, she’d just stop him again.
Unless, he realized, it was something she couldn’t stop. An idea came to him. “How about a game?”
She gave him a big smile. “I love games. Okay. What game?”
“Truth or dare.”
Her mouth fell open then closed. Her eyes went from one side to the other and then finally back to him. “Okay, but I’m going to need more beer.”
“I’ll get it.”
Max raced to the house. When he returned, she was on the dock, dipping one foot in the water.
“Here,” he handed her a beer and downed half of his to bolster his courage.
“Thanks. Okay, me first,” she said. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Truth. Okay…” She gnawed at her lower lip for a moment. “Okay, truth. Have you ever kissed a boy?”
“What? That’s disgusting. No. Why would you even ask?”
“Huh uh, that’s not part of the game unless it’s truth and that’s yo
ur question.”
“Fine. The answer is no.”
“Okay, so your turn.” She downed some of her beer.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” she replied immediately.
“Have you ever kissed a girl?”
“Yep.”
“You have?”
She made a game show buzzer sound. “Not part of the game, Maxwell.”
Max knew she must be toasted to have used his full name. She’d only used it once before and that was a night he’d shown up past ten, with the excuse that he’d forgotten to give her a film canister.
She’d greeted him at the door with a drink in hand and speech that was a bit slurred. And she’d called him Maxwell.
“Okay, your turn. I’ll take truth.”
She studied him for a few moments. “Are you a virgin?”
The question stunned him. Why did she ask that? Was it because she was interested and wanted to know if he had experience?
“Earth to Maxwell,” she prompted.
“Oh, sorry. No.”
“Hmmm,” she took a drink from her beer. “So how many— “
It was his turn to sound the fake buzzer. “Not allowed. My turn. Truth or dare?”
“Okay, fine.” She pursed her lips for a moment. “Dare.”
It was the chance he’d been hoping for. “I dare you to kiss me.”
The shock on her face told him quite clearly that she had not expected that. The fear that replaced the shock in her eyes stunned him. Why should that make her afraid?
“Forget it,” he said quickly.
He thought she was going to take him up on the pass, but then she shook her head. “Nope, a dare’s a dare.”
She turned toward him, reached out, put her hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him to her. Just before their lips met, she whispered, “Have you ever been kissed by a woman, Max?”
“I’ve kissed a few,” he replied, not about to tell her that “a few” meant three.
“I don’t mean girls,” she replied, her lips so close that he could feel her breath. “I mean a woman.”
“Uh, no.”
“I’m glad I get to be your first.”
Her lips touched his softly, then parted. She nipped at his lower lip gently, then kissed again, this time applying more pressure.