CHAPTER VII
A RATHER GOOD DAY
I slept soundly all night but woke at the first appearance of light. I layabed, my mind milling over my situation, over Vedia's unexpected jealousyof Marcia, over the absurdity of it, over her illogical but impregnableindignation and over the equally baseless but similarly unalterablehostility of Vedius and Satronius.
I concluded to try again to placate all three. It seemed to me I couldrecall many omissions and infelicities in what I had said to bothmagnates, while in dealing with Vedia I seemed to myself to have beentongue-tied and fragmentary.
After the bit of bread and hot mulled wine which I did not crave, butwhich Agathemer insisted on my taking according to Galen's orders, I helda brief morning reception. My nine farmer-tenants were all present, allpathetically and touchingly glad to see me again about, even old ChryserosPhilargyrus.
They had a petition to prefer, namely, that I should give them permissionto leave Rome and return home, jointly and severally, just as soon as theypleased. Ligo Atrior acted as spokesman and said that they had comeprovided for a month's stay, as I had ordered, but they felt that theycould see all the sights of Rome which would interest them before themonth was out, and some sooner than others. Moreover they felt thatalthough they had left their farms in the best of condition and infaithful hands, yet their desire to return home would soon overcome theirinterest in sight-seeing and would grow more overmastering daily.
I readily accorded what they asked.
Murmex Lucro was there, and his appearance of superhuman strengthimpressed me even more than on the road, I bade him meet me at the Palace,and instructed him by which entrance to approach it and at what portal andprecisely where to take his stand in order that I might not miss him.Agathemer suggested that I detail one of my slaves to act as his guide andI did so.
My salutants disposed of without hurry and to the last man, in spite ofAgathemer's protests, I ordered my litter.
At the Vedian mansion I was refused admission. Agathemer and even I arguedand expostulated, but the doorkeeper said he had explicit orders not toadmit me, and the four big Nubians flanking the vestibule, two on a side,looked capable of using muscular force on any would-be intruder andappeared eager for a pretext for hurling themselves on me.
I climbed back into my litter.
As my men shouldered it, the doorkeeper or some one of his helpers madethe mistake of unchaining the watch-dog at me.
He was a big, short-haired, black and white Aquitanian dog. He flew at thecalves of my bearers, snarling, and would have bitten them badly had I nothalf rolled, half fallen from my litter, almost into his jaws; in fact,not a foot in front of him.
As all such animals always do with me, he checked, cowered, fawned andthen exhibited every symptom of recognition, delight and affection. Ipatted him, pulled his ears, smoothed his spine and climbed back into mylitter. The dog took his place under it as naturally as if I had raisedhim from a puppy and kept neatly underneath it, all the way to theSatronian Mansion.
There, at sight of me, as I descended from my litter, the doorkeeperloosed his big fawn-colored Molossian hound at me. And he came in silence,but his lips wrinkled off his teeth, swift as a lion and looking in factas big as a yearling lioness and not unlike one in outline and color.
The Aquitanian from under the litter flew at him with a snarl, theMolossian replied with a louder snarl, the two dogs clinched and tore eachother, snarling, and hung to each other, worrying and growling andsnarling, to the delight of my bearers.
Out of the Satronian mansion poured a small mob of footmen, lackeys andsuch house-slaves. But not one dared approach the two dogs. At a safedistance they watched the fight.
I seized the dogs, spoke to them, quieted them, separated them and when Iordered them, they lay down side by side under the litter.
I climbed in.
As my bearers shouldered the litter, the Satronian doorkeeper came forwardand said truculently:
"That is our dog under your litter."
"Is he your dog?" I retorted. "Prove it! Take hold of him."
The doorkeeper tried and the Molossian snarled at him. He called thefootmen to help him.
At that somehow, I both lost my temper and felt prankish.
"Chase 'em, Terror," I called. "Chase 'em, Fury!"
It was a wonder to see the Aquitanian obey, to see the Molossian obey wasa portent.
Into the mansion scuttled the doorkeeper, the footmen, the lackeys, thehangers-on, the two dogs barking at their heels.
I called them off in time to forestall any lacerated ankles, and stillmore marvellously they obeyed instantly, checked, withdrew to under thelitter and there paced, side by side, to Vedia's home.
There, also, I was denied admission, but urbanely, the porter assertingthat his mistress was not at home.
While I was questioning the porter, who was becomingly respectful, a bevyof Vedian retainers, house-lackeys and other slaves, overtook me,demanding the return of the Aquitanian watchdog.
"Take him!" I said, "take him if you can!"
The boldest of them approached the dog, calling him by name andwheedlingly. When he was but a yard or so away the dog flew at his throatand almost set his fangs into it, for they snapped together a mere hand'sbreadth short.
The fellow recoiled and, when the dog followed like an arrow from a bow,took to his heels, his companions with him, and they ran helter-skelterdown the street, the dog pursuing them to the corner of the Carinae, andreturning, his tongue hanging out, his tail wagging, with all thedemonstrations of a dog who feels he has done his full duty and has earnedapprobation.
Hardly had he returned when a band of Satronians appeared and a similarscene was enacted, with the Molossian as chief actor.
When the last Satronian had vanished round the corner of the thoroughfareI reentered my litter and we set off for the Palace, both dogs sedatelypacing side by side underneath.
At the Palace portal Agathemer had no difficulty in locating Murmex, evenin the crowd which packed all approaches to that entrance. I spoke to thecenturion on duty at the portal and to the head out-door usher, meaning toarrange that Murmex should be let in among the first when the commonalitywere admitted after the senators and knights had paid their duty to theEmperor. To my amazement the head usher looked at a list or memorandumwhich he had in his hand and said:
"You are Andivius Hedulio, are you not? You are to take in with youanybody you please, to the number of ten. Caesar has given special ordersabout you." Murmex therefore passed in with me and took up a position inthe lower part of the Audience Hall, where I could send a page to summonhim if my plans worked out as I hoped.
We were early and the vast public throne-room almost empty. Tanno joinedme after I had stood but a short time and not long afterwards the Emperorentered, just as a fair crowd of senators had assembled.
The formal salutation began at once and I noticed that the Emperor saidsomething personal to Vedius and that Vedius stepped out of the line ofsalutants and took up a position behind the Emperor on his left. Similarlyhe spoke to Satronius, who similarly took his station behind the Emperoron his right.
When, in the long line of my equals, in an Audience Hall now jammed to thedoors, I drew near to the throne, I felt a growing embarrassment at seeingthe Emperor flanked by my two enemies. But, when I made my salutation, tomy amazement, the Emperor took my hand and leaned over and kissed me as ifI had been a senator.
"I love you, Hedulio," he said, "and I am proud of you. I have heard verylaudatory reports of you. My agents all agree in reporting that you have,in very difficult circumstances, done your utmost to avoid giving offenceto any of your neighbors in Sabinum, and that, if you have given offense,it was not your fault. They also agree in reporting that, mild andpeaceful as you are by disposition, you know how to defend yourself whenattacked, that you are not only a bold and resolute man in a tight place,but resourceful and prompt, a hard and quick hitter, and what is more, apast master at quarter-staff play.
I love brave men and good fighters. Icommend you."
He turned ironically to Vedius and asked:
"Did you miss any part of what I have just said to Andivius? I meant youto hear every word of it."
Vedius, his mean face lead-gray, bowed and said:
"Your Majesty was completely audible."
Then Commodus similarly questioned Satronius. He, his big face brick-red,his eyes popping out, seemed half strangled by his efforts to speak.
"I could hear it all," he managed to say.
"You two stand facing me," Commodus commanded. "Stand on either side ofAndivius."
They so placed themselves with a very bad grace.
The Emperor raised his voice.
"Come near, all you senators," he commanded. "I want all of you to hearwhat I am about to say and to be witnesses to it."
Everybody, senators, knights and commoners crowded as close to the throneas etiquette and the ushers would allow.
"Now listen to me," spoke Commodus. "You know I hate all sorts of officialbusiness and should greatly prefer to put my entire time and energies onathletics, horsemanship and swordsmanship, archery and other things reallyworth while. I make no secret of my love for the activities at which I ambest and of my detestation of my duties.
"But, just because I hate my duties, it does not follow that I neglectthem. A lot of you think I do. I'll show you you are not always right, noroften right. Just because I surround myself with wrestlers and charioteersand gladiators and other good fellows, not with senile self-styledphilosophers, prosy and with unkempt beards and rough cloaks, as my fatherdid, half of you think I am incapable of being serious, or haven'tintellect enough to understand government or sense enough to care for theEmpire.
"You are mightily mistaken. I realize the importance of myresponsibilities and the magnificence of my opportunities. I hate routine,but I know well the value of our Empire and that I, as Prince of theRepublic, [Footnote: See Note A.] have a bigger stake in it than any othercitizen of our Republic. I am not wholly absorbed in the joys ofpracticing feats of strength and skill. I put more time on governing thanyou think.
"I am autocrat of our world, and I know how to make my influence felt whenI choose. I have very positive views about fighting. Fighting has to goon, on the frontiers of the Empire. My army can keep off our foes, but itcannot kill off the Moorish and Arab and Scythian nomads, nor the hordesof the German forests and the Caledonian moors. The Marcomanni and therest will claw at us. There must be fighting on the frontiers. It isproper that there should be fighting where necessary, on any frontier, andcorpses scattered about.
"Also corpses are in place on any arena of any amphitheatre anywhereinside our frontiers; fighting inside amphitheatres is proper and seemly.
"But I will tolerate no fighting inside our frontiers outside theamphitheatres. I'll not condone any corpses on the pavement of any streetor on the road of any highway or byways. I'll not permit any battles, set-tos, affrays or brawls in towns or villages or on roads. You hear me? Youhear me, Vedius? You hear me, Satronius? You hear me, all of you?
"Now it so happened that I had heard of your disgraceful Sabine feud,which mars the peace of a whole countryside near Reate, and I had sent acompetent and reliable agent with four assistants to investigate andreport. For once luck was with me: generally my luck as a ruler is as badas it is good for me as an athlete. It so happened that my agents had justcompleted their preliminary investigations and acquainted themselves withgeneral conditions when your idiotic feud broke loose in two abductions ofwomen, one by each side, that put my agents on their mettle. They keptawake. They are no fools. My head man has a keen scent for incipienttrouble; he managed to have one of his helpers get among the ambushers inVediamnum and another among those on your byway, Satronius. Each of thesetwo severally heard all the talk of the ambushers with whom he mingled; soI have had a faithful report of just what the Vedian ambush meant to do tothe Satronian convoy they lay in wait for and similarly of the other side.Each was waiting for a sheep; both caught a wildcat. If the men in theambushes had had any eyes or any sense, no fight would have occurred. Asit was they got no more than they deserved. Hedulio was set on withoutprovocation and merely defended himself and his associates as any self-respecting free man would. I have no fault to find with Hedulio. I takeyou all to witness.
"Now that disposes of what is past. As to the future I shall tolerate noillegalities of any kind anywhere in the City, in Italy or in the Empire.You'll see. Dr. Commodus will cure this epidemic of lawlessness whichafflicts the Republic. You'll see my agents run down, catch and bring topunishment the ingenious rascals who have been amusing themselves bymasquerading as Imperial Messengers, scampering across the landscape forthe fun of the thing, eating lavish meals at my cost, running the legs offmy best horses, lodging luxuriously in the best bed at every inn they stopat, showing forged papers, or showing none at all, using no other meansthan effrontery and assurance. I'll have them stopped. I'll stop them. AndI'll quell, I'll squelch this outburst of banditry of which we have toomuch. I'll see that my agents hunt down and capture and execute thesehighwaymen who rob not only rich travellers, but government treasure-convoys, who even rob Imperial Messengers. A pretty state of affairs whenmy couriers are fair game alike for impostors and robbers. I'll make theslyest and the boldest quail at the idea of interfering with one of mydespatch riders and I'll exterminate all highwaymen. I'll have no oneswaggering up and down Italy, now in Liguria, now in Apulia, mocking thelaw and its guardians, looting as he pleases, uncatchable, untraceable,hidden and helped by mountaineers and farm-laborers and farmers, evenwelcomed secretly in villages and towns, acclaimed as King of theHighwaymen, until songs are made on him and sung even in Rome. He'll soondecorate a gibbet, impaled there and spiked there too. You'll see. Andstill less will I tolerate lawlessness among men of property and position.The past actions of you magnates I dislike. As to the future I may saythat my agents were at your morning reception yesterday, Vedius, and heardand reported your covert threats to Hedulio: likewise two were at yourhouse, Satronius, and heard and reported your open threats.
"Now I perfectly understand what you two implied. You threatened Andiviuswith assassination, if he returned to his estates in Sabinum or if he somuch as remained in Rome.
"Beware! Be warned! Take care! I am easy-going enough, but I am Caesar andI'll brook no trenching on my personal prerogatives or my legal authority.I have the tribunician power for life, I am commissioned thereby to forbidanything in the Republic and to see to it that no magistrate or citizenoversteps the limits of what is permitted him. By your threats to Hedulioyou practically arrogate to yourself the right to exile a Roman ofequestrian rank. Banishment is a governmental power and a prerogative ofCaesar. I'll have no magnates of such overweening behavior. I am jealousof my prerogatives, more than jealous!
"I know what you intend and what you can accomplish by your henchmen. Icomprehend that hundreds of stilettos are being sharpened, up there in theSabine Hills, and down here in the slums, for a chance at Hedulio.
"Now I can do much by legal authority and more by personal prerogative. Bequick. Pass the word swiftly to all your satellites, here and in Sabinum.Let them all know that if Andivius Hedulio dies by poison or violence oris injured by any weapon, you two at Rome and your brother at Villa Vediaand your son, Satro, at Villa Satronia, will not see two more sunrises. Iknow how to enforce my will, and well you know that. Your lives are inpawn for his, let all your clansmen know in good time.
"And more: if you dare, either of you, to move against Hedulio in anycourt at Reate or elsewhere in Sabinum for his participation in the brawlswhich you fomented and he fell into, I shall see to it that not yourinfluence dominates any trial, but evenhanded justice, jealously watchedover by my best legal advisers. You know what that means to you."
The Emperor spoke with a sustained, white-hot fury and it was comical towatch Satronius and Vedius, as I did by sidelong glances when theEmperor's eyes were not on my face.
/> When he stopped, both magnates bowed low and each in turn expressed hisloyal submissiveness.
The Emperor dismissed them with a wave of his hand. To me he said:
"That will keep you alive, Hedulio and, I trust, help you to get back intogood health. Horrible bore, these small-size local matters; worse, ifanything, even, than the maintenance of the Rhine frontier. I loathe allthis routine. But my agents serve me pretty well. Besides putting me intouch, with all this feud idiocy they have incidentally informed me thatyou brought to Rome with you a son of Murmex Frugi, also a nephew ofPacideianus, and a pupil of both, who has come to Rome to try his luck attheir former profession. Did you bring him here today? I hoped you would."
"I did," I answered, "and thanks to your orders, I was able to pass him inwith me. He is in this hall now." "Fine!" cried the Emperor, "and howabout your nine tenants, who stood by you so well in both fights. Did youbring them too?"
"I should never have so presumed," I stammered, amazed, "It would neverhave entered my head to ask entry here for such simple rustics. I shouldhave anticipated your wrath had I so far forgot myself."
"Rustics," said Commodus, smiling, even grinning, "who can fight as I amtold your tenants can fight are always to my mind. Bring them heretomorrow, if you like. I'll see them in the Palaestra. I'm going theretoday after this function is finished. Bring your swordsman there. Youknow the door. I have given orders to admit you in my retinue."
In the Palaestra Tanno cheerfully presented Murmex to some of his favoriteprize-fighters and he stood talking with them, they appraisingly conningthe son of Murmex Frugi.
Tanno and I seated ourselves well back on the middle tier of thespectators' benches and chatted until the Emperor should have returnedfrom his dressing-room and should seem at leisure to notice us.
"You must not be too puffed up at your good luck of today," Tanno warnedme.
"In fact, I advise you to be very wary and to comport yourself mostmodestly. You know Commodus. It has too often happened that when he hasoverwhelmed a courtier with favors, his very condescension seems to causea reaction in his feelings and he becomes insanely suspicious. Respondpromptly to all his suggestions, of course, but do not obtrude yourself onhis notice. In particular ask no favor of him for a long time to come."
I thanked him for his advice and assured him that I most heartily agreedwith his ideas.
Presently a page summoned me, and Tanno came, too.
Commodus had rid himself of his official robes and was now clad only in anathlete's tunic and soft-soled shoes. I presented Murmex and the Emperorquestioned him, as to his age, his upbringing, his father's years inretirement at Nersae, as to Pacideianus and put questions about thrustsand parries designed to test his knowledge of fence.
Then he seated himself on his throne on the little dais by the fencing-floor and had Murmex called to him, made him stand by him, and asked hisopinion of several pairs of fighters whom he had fence, one pair after theother.
Appearing pleased with the replies he elicited he bade Murmex go with oneof the pages, rub down and change into fencing rig. While Murmex was gonehe viewed more fencing by young aspirants matched against accreditedPalace-school trainers.
When Murmex returned he had him matched with the best of these tiros. But,almost at once, he called to the _lanista_:
"Save that novice! Murmex will kill him, even with that lath sword, if youdon't separate them."
He then had Murmex pitted against a succession of experts, each betterthan his predecessor. Murmex acquitted himself so brilliantly thatCommodus cried:
"I must try this man myself."
He stood up and stepped down from the dais. Then he spent some time inselecting a pair of cornel-wood fencing-swords of equal length and weightand of similar balance, repeatedly hefting the sword he had chosen andrepeatedly asking Murmex whether he was satisfied with his sword, whetherit suited him; and similarly of the choice of shields.
When they faced each other they made as pretty a spectacle as I had everseen: Murmex stocky, so burly that he did not look tall, square-shouldered, deep-chested, vast of chest-girth, huge in every dimension andyet neither heavy nor slow in his movements; Commodus tall, slender,sinewy, lithe and graceful, quick in every movement and amazinglyhandsome.
They had made but a few passes when Commodus exclaimed:
"You show your training: it is some fun to fence with you."
After not many more thrusts and parries he called out:
"Be on your guard! I'm going to attack in earnest."
There followed a hot burst of sword-play and when both adversaries wereout of breath and stepped back and stood panting, Commodus praised Murmexhighly.
"You have the best guard I have ever encountered," he said, "steady-eyed,cautious, wary yet quick too, and always with the threat of attack in yourdefense. You are a credit to your training."
When they stepped forward again Commodus commanded:
"Attack now, attack your fiercest and show your quality. I shall not beangry if you land on me, I shall be pleased. Do your utmost!"
After the second bout he said:
"You are most dangerous in attack. At last I have found a man really worthfencing with. You gave me all I could do to protect myself. You are apearl!"
He looked round at the envious faces of more than two score seasonedprofessionals and addressed the gathering at large.
"We have here a man who is nephew of Pacideianus and son to Murmex Frugi,trained since infancy by both. No wonder he is a marvel. I have neverfaced a swordsman who gave me so much trouble to protect myself or whoheld off my attacks so easily and completely. He is the only man alive, sofar as I know, really in my class as a fencer."
As he was eyeing the assembly to note their manner of receiving thisproclamation his expression changed.
"Egnatius!" he called sharply. "Come here!"
Egnatius Capito came forward. Like Tanno and myself he was conspicuoussince he was in his toga, most of those present being athletes and cladfor practice.
"I did not notice you among your fellow senators at my levee," said theEmperor.
"I was not there," Egnatius admitted. "I had a press of clients at my ownlevee this morning and reached the Palace just in time to hear what youhad to say to Vedius and Satronius. I tried to catch your eye as youpassed out, but you did not notice me at all."
"I had rather see you here than in the throne-room," Commodus said. "I amtold that you have let your tongue run entirely too wild in talking of melately. If I had not been also told that you had had too much wine Ishould animadvert on your effrontery officially. As it is I prefer toprove you wrong before these experts and gentlemen."
"Of what have I been accused?" Capito queried, steadily.
"There has been no accusation," Commodus disclaimed. "But I have been toldthat, at more than one dinner, you have been fool enough to say that I amonly a sham swordsman, that I take a steel sword and face an adversarywhose sword has a blade of lead: that it is no wonder that no one scoresoff me, and that I run up big scores in all my bouts."
"If I ever said anything like that," spoke Capito boldly, "I was so drunkthat I have no recollection of having said it. And I am a sober man and alight drinker. Also I have never harbored such thoughts unless too drunkto know what I thought or said."
"You are cold sober now, aren't you?" Commodus queried.
"Entirely sober," Egnatius agreed.
"And you are a fencer far above the average?" he pursued.
"I have been told I have no mean skill," said Capito modestly.
"Such being the case," said Commodus, "you and I shall fence. Go with theattendants and change into fencing kit. You'll find all styles and sizesof everything needed in the dressing-rooms. First pick out a pair ofcornel-wood swords, entirely to your mind."
When Capito had selected a pair of swords which suited both him and theEmperor, he went off to change. While he was gone Commodus had the armorerdrill a tiny hole near the point of one sword and ins
ert in it one ofthose thorn-like little steel points which are commonly used on the endsof donkey-goads.
When Capito returned he showed him the two swords. Capito looked up at himquestioningly and amazedly.
"The idea is this," Commodus explained. "I mean to demonstrate my perfectability to defend myself, as well as my dangerousness in attack. You areto use the sword with the goad point set in it; so that, if you succeed inhitting me, you will tear a long slash in my hide; for I am going to fencewith you in my skin only, stark; mother-naked as I was born. I shall usethe unaltered sword and you will have on your fencing-tunic, so that if Ihit you, it won't hurt you nearly as much as a hit from you will hurt me.
"If you draw blood from me, I'll pay you one hundred thousand sesterces:if I fail to lay you out on the pavement, totally insensible, in threebouts, I'll pay you two hundred thousand sesterces. You can pick any_lanista_ here to judge the fight and tell us when to separate and rest."
Capito, cool enough, indicated Murmex as referee.
"He's not a _lanista_," Commodus objected.
"He's Frugi's pupil," Capito maintained, "and therefore the best _lanista_here."
"I agree," said Commodus, and he called:
"Who's the physician on duty?"
When the official came forward he said truculently:
"Get your plasters ready and your revivers. You'll have to attend a manflat on the pavement, insensible and with a bad scalp wound, before muchtime has passed."
And actually, though Capito fenced well, he was no match for Commodus.
The bout was worth watching. The adversaries were just the same height anddiffered little in weight. Capito seemed more compact and steady; Commodusmore lithe and agile. Capito was a handsome man and made a fine figure inhis scanty, leek-green fencing tunic. Commodus, always vain, of his goodlooks, delighted in exhibiting himself totally nude, not only because heloved to shock elderly noblemen imbued with old-fashioned ideas ofpropriety, but also because he rightly thought himself one of the bestformed men alive. He was fond of being told that he was like Hercules but,except in the paintings of Zeuxis, Hercules has always been depicted asbrawnier and more mature than Commodus was then or ever became, to hislast hour. To me he suggested Mercury, especially as he appears in thepaintings of Polygnotus, or Apollo, as Apelles depicted him.
Besides the grace and good looks of the two, they fenced very well, Capitocorrectly and with good judgment, Commodus with amazing dash andoriginality.
Capito, though bold, was wholly unable to touch Commodus, while Commodusslashed him, even through his tunic, till his blood ran from a dozenscratches. Before the second bout was well joined Capito was felled by ablow on the head, which laid him flat and insensible, bleeding from aterrible scalp wound.
After Capito had been carried off by the attendants, the Emperor, wrappedin an athlete's blanket, talked a while to Murmex and then went off tobathe, for he bathed many times a day.
Set free, I went out and was helped into my litter. The two dogs werestill by it, took their places under it as if they had belonged to mesince puppyhood and under it trotted as I returned home. Once home I atethe lunch permitted me and had an hour's sound, dreamless sleep.
I woke feeling so well that I sent for Agathemer, bade him have my litterready and told him I was going to the Baths of Titus.
Inevitably Agathemer protested that I was not well enough; naturally Iinsisted and, of course, I had my way.
As with court levees, I have never been able to take as a matter of coursewithout wonder and admiration, the marvellous spectacle afforded by anassemblage of our nobility and gentry gathered for their afternoon bath inany of our splendid Thermae. Of these I hold the Baths of Titus not onlythe most magnificent, which is conceded by everybody, but also I hold themthe most impressive mass of buildings in Rome, both outside and inside,and surpassing in every respect every other great public building in thecity. Most connoisseurs appraise the Temple of Venus and Rome as ourcapital's most splendid structure, but I could never bring myself to admitit superior to or even equal to the Baths of Titus. To enter thissurpassing building, always congratulating myself on my right to enter thebaths and use them; to be one of the courtly throng of fashionablenotables resorting to them: I could never take these things as a matter ofcourse.
Nor could I ever take as a matter of course the sight of the bulk ofRome's nobility, gentlemen and ladies together, thronging the great poolsand halls or roaming about the corridors, passage-ways or galleries, alltotally nude.
Social convention is an amazing factor in human life. One may say thatanything fashionable is accepted and that anything unfashionable isbanned. But that does not help one to explain to one's self the oddity ofsome social conventions.
Oddest of all our Roman social conventions is the contrast between theinsistence on complete concealment of the human figure everywhere else andthe universal acceptance of its display at the Thermae.
At home, if receiving guests, on the streets, at a formal dinner, atPalace levees, at the Circus games or in the Amphitheatre, a man must bewrapped up in his toga. Any exposure of too much of the left arm, ofeither ankle, is hooted at as bad form, is decried as indecent.
So of our ladies, on dinner sofas, on their reclining chairs in theirreception rooms, in their homes, in their litters abroad, at theAmphitheatre or at the Circus games, from neck to instep they are muffledup. If one catches a glimpse of a beauty's ankle as she goes up a stair,one is thrilled, one watches eagerly, one cranes to look.
Yet one encounters the same beauty the same afternoon in a corridor of theBaths of Titus, with nothing on but a net over her elaborate coiffure andthe bracelet with the key and number of the locker in which the attendanthas put away her clothing and valuables and one not only cannot stare ather, one cannot look at her, not even if she accosts one and lingers for achat.
I have pondered over this, the most singular of our social conventions,and the most mandatory and inescapable; and the more I ponder the moresingular it seems.
Yet it is real, it is a fact. One meets the wives of all one's friends,the wives of all Rome's nobility, naked as they were born; they minglewith the men in the swimming pools, in the ante-rooms, in the rest-rooms,everywhere except in the shower-bath cabinets and the rubbing-down rooms;one swims with them, lounges with them, joins groups of chatting gentlemenand ladies, chats, goes off, and all the while one cannot, one simplycannot stare at a nude woman, any more than any of the women ever staresat any man.
It is a social convention. But not the less amazing, although a fact.
One not only cannot scrutinize a woman, one cannot scrutinize a group ofwomen, even at a distance, even all the way across a swimming pool. So,hoping to encounter Vedia in the gathering, I yet could not look for her.
I had met and talked with many of my acquaintances, notably Marcus Martiusand his bride Marcia.
Marcia, rosy as the inside of a sea-shell, with her gold hair confined bya net of gold wire, was a bewitching creature, if I had been able to letmy eyes dwell on her.
She was as contained and slow spoken and soft-voiced as always, but shewas, for her, notably complimentary as to my share in the two fights;thanked me warmly for defending her, declared that she would certainlyhave been carried off, either as Xantha or Greia, or as a hostage for oneor the other, if I had not fought "like both the Dioscuri at once," as shephrased it.
Martius corroborated her opinion of my services to them and thanked mewarmly.
Delayed by chats with friends and acquaintances, held up by distantacquaintances and even by persons hardly known to me by sight, whocongratulated me on the Emperor's public championing of me against mypowerful Sabine neighbors, I felt my strength ebbing and sometimes saw agray blur between my eyes and what I looked at.
I was, in fact, so weak that I nearly fainted when, unseen in the swarm ofbathers until he was close to me, I encountered Talponius Pulto, tall,handsome, disdainful, sneering and malignant as usual. From his proximityI escaped as unobtru
sively as I could and as promptly.
The cold douche and a swim in the cold pool had revived me. Also, in thecold pool I had encountered Nemestronia, still personable enough ateighty-odd to mingle daily with her social world, as nude as they, andenjoy herself thoroughly. Yet, at her age, she knew she looked better whenunder water, and spent most of her time in the pools. She and I did somefancy swimming together, while she questioned me about my health.
I did not spend any more time than I could help between the cold pool andthe tepid pool; no more at least than importunate acquaintances exacted ofme.
In the tepid pool I felt, somehow, weaker and more relaxed than at anytime since I had gone out the previous morning. The effect of theEmperor's favor, the effect of the cold plunge, were wearing off: mind andbody were losing tone. I swam languidly, alone, on my back and so swimmingfound myself about one third of the way from the upper end of the pool andabout midway of its width. I was staring up at the panels of the vaulting,relishing the beauty of the color scheme, the gold rosettes brilliantagainst the deep blue of the soffits, set off by the red of the coffering.
So swimming and staring my eyes roamed downward to the great round-headedcoved window above the gallery. The railing of the gallery had a sort ofwicket in it, by which bathers could emerge one by one on to the bracket-like platform which overhung the pool at that end, for use as a take-offfor a high dive.
Suddenly, on this diving-stand, poised for her dive, outlined against thewindow behind her, I recognized Vedia; Vedia, my angered sweetheart, rosyas Marcia, more lovely, and nude as Venus rising from the sea.
Seeing her thus, and seeing her thus unexpectedly, woke in me a volcanicoutburst of conflicting emotions altogether too much for my weakenedcondition.
I fainted.
When I came to I felt weak and queer and did not at first open my eyes. Iheard subdued voices all about me, as of an interested crowd; I felt allwet, I felt the cold of a wet mosaic pavement under me, but my head andshoulders were pillowed on a support wet indeed, as I was, but soft andwarm.
I opened my eyes.
I realized that my head was in Vedia's lap, for I saw above me herdripping breasts and, higher, her anxious face looking down at mine.
I fainted again.
Andivius Hedulio: Adventures of a Roman Nobleman in the Days of the Empire Page 8