Despite myself, my heart twinges. I don’t want to feel anything for him! I want to hate him forever and never speak to him again.
But I can’t help it. We had two beautiful years together—or at least, I thought they were beautiful. And now my stupid brain can’t separate that from the man that cheated on me with a fucking cheerleader.
“Farrah,” he growls. I stiffen.
“Elijah, I don’t want to talk to you. I thought I made that clear.”
“So you’ve found someone else?”
My heart starts thumping. Does he know about me and Jesse? He must, we haven’t exactly been secretive about it. Is that why he’s calling?
“That’s none of your business.”
“You always were a slut,” he spits.
That stings more than I care to admit. Tears burn at the corners of my eyes and my spine stiffens as I lean forward. “That’s rich, coming from you. How many women did you sleep with while we were together? I know it wasn’t just the one that I caught you with.”
“Farrah, that was all a misunderstanding.”
“Stop saying my name!” I know I sound shrill, but I can’t help it. My heart is racing and the muscles in my neck are tense. My phone is trembling in my hands and all I want to do is fling it across the room.
“I don’t want to talk to you. Please don’t call me again.”
I hang up the phone and turn it off before tossing it aside. I stare at is as if it’s going to grow legs and attack me, so I get up off the couch and take a deep breath. With one hand on my forehead and another on my hip, I try to make sense of that phone call.
How will things work between Jesse and I if one simple phone call from his brother sends me into this kind of tailspin?
My mind goes into overdrive. I imagine a rift forming between Jesse and his family, and it’s all my fault. I imagine Elijah staring at me across the table at a family dinner, shooting daggers at me. I imagine his mother, tense, trying to make peace between us all.
Can I do that to Jesse? Can I handle that?
I walk to the kitchen and lean on the countertop, taking few deep, cleansing breaths.
Jesse and I have been so focused on each other that we haven’t thought of the consequences of being together. We haven’t talked about my engagement, or Elijah, or the Super Bowl, or any of it.
We’ve just laughed and made love and spent time together without dealing with any of that. It’s been the best time of my life, but I know that it won’t last.
At some point, the past will catch up with us, and it’s not going to be pretty.
28
Jesse
Farrah has been distant this week, so I decide to take her out to dinner on Friday night. I pick her up in my Mercedes, and my jaw drops when she walks out the door.
She never ceases to take my breath away. Her dark hair is gathered in loose curls at the nape of her neck, and her big brown eyes look incredible against the royal blue of her dress. She’s wearing shimmery earrings I gave her for her birthday a few weeks ago.
Farrah smiles as I open the car door for her.
“What a gentleman,” she quips.
“That’s me.”
I close the door behind her and jog around to the driver’s side. When I start driving, I slide my hand over her thigh and give it a squeeze. My cock throbs. Anytime I’m near her, it’s like my body is on high alert.
“You look beautiful,” I say. She smiles at me, and I think I see a hint of sadness in her eyes. My chest stings and we’re quiet for the rest of the drive.
When we get to the restaurant, we’re shown to a private table near the back of the room. There are two candles on the table, and a heavy white tablecloth. Farrah smiles.
“This place is beautiful. Thank you for taking me here.”
“I wanted to,” I smile. “I feel like you haven’t been yourself this week.”
She looks away from me and I see that sadness in her eyes again. We order drinks—wine for me, water for her—and the sadness in her face passes.
“You never told me why you don’t drink,” I say. I want to ask her why she’s so distant, but I don’t want to push her. I just want to be close to her.
Farrah sighs. “Well, my father was an alcoholic. Growing up in that environment was… chaotic. I guess when I got older I just decided that it wasn’t worth it. I went to college and people were partying and having a good time but all I could see was my father, and the pain in my mother’s eyes.”
“Wow, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“It’s okay,” Farrah smiles and takes my hand. “It had nothing to do with you. I think in a way it was a blessing in disguise. Without drinking, I’ve been able to really progress in my career a lot faster than a lot of my peers. So, it turned out to be a good thing in that way.”
“Still, it couldn’t have been easy. Did your mom… are your parents still together?”
Farrah nods. I watch her swallow, and she gets a far-away look in her eyes. “Yeah,” she says simply.
I try to think of a way to change the subject, and the waiter reappears to take our orders. When he leaves, I’m still scratching for something to say. Before I can speak, Farrah continues.
“I used to think she was so weak, and then I started acting like her. You know, attaching myself to men who were no good for me.” She grins as her eyes flash. “I think that whole breakup with Elijah was a good thing as well. It gave me the time to focus on what I want and what I need.”
“And what’s that?”
“A fulfilling job. Friends. A partner who respects me.” She shakes her head, laughing bitterly. “It sounds so silly to say it out loud. Those things are so basic.”
“It’s easy to lose sight of them, though. Especially when someone is holding you back.” I reach across the table and grab her hand again.
She looks at me again, and this time her eyes are sharp. “Sorry for talking about Elijah. I know that you hate it.”
“I don’t hate it. I just hate that look in your eye when you mention him. I could kill him for how much he hurt you.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Please don’t. I’d way rather just forgive and forget.” A shadow passes over her face, then, and I wonder what she’s thinking. She’s had this expression on her face all week.
Is she worried that with Elijah being my brother, she’ll never be able to move on?
My chest squeezes.
“Since we’re here, opening up about our pasts, why don’t you tell me about that scar on your chest?” Farrah’s eyebrow arches. “You always skirt the question.”
I grin. “You noticed that, did you?”
“It’s hard not to. You distract me with kisses whenever I mentioned it.”
I laugh. “You’re onto me.”
“You’ll need to be a lot better at hiding from me,” she grins. The sadness in her eyes is replaced with a flash, and I laugh.
I shake my head, and squeeze her hand. “I don’t want to hide anything from you.”
She stares at me for a long moment, and I take a deep breath. I guess I’ll have to tell her about that day eventually, so I might as well tell her now.
“Well, I told you it was an accident when we were kids, and that’s mostly true,” I start.
“Go on,” she says with a smile. “You have my attention.”
I open my mouth to speak, but before I can get any words out, a commotion breaks out beside us. The man at the table next to ours starts banging on the table. His wine glass falls over, soaking the white tablecloth with red liquid. His date is screaming something, but I can’t make out the words.
The man is at least six feet tall, with a big protruding belly. His thick, meaty hand comes down on the table again. He’s opening his mouth and closing it again, and his face is going red.
Things are happening in slow motion. No one is moving. I’m not sure what’s going on, until Farrah jumps up. She moves behind the man, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him aroun
d the middle. I stand up, but I feel like I’m in the way. I don’t know what to do.
They heave, and I finally understand. He’s choking. Farrah squeezes him again, and he leans over the table. With one more squeeze, something comes loose and he coughs up a half-masticated bite of his food. He spits it out, and then collapses in the chair. He grabs a hold of Farrah’s hand, squeezing it as he wheezes.
A waiter brings some water, and Farrah calms him down. When the commotion is over, we go back to our seat and Farrah takes a deep breath. The woman is crying and stroking the man’s face, and I look over at Farrah.
“Are you okay?
“Yeah. That was scary. His windpipe was completely blocked.”
The waiter appears with our food. He refills my wine and turns to Farrah.
“The gentleman has offered to pay for you and your husband’s dinner for what you did.”
“Oh he’s not my—” she glances at me, and then at the man.
“As a thank you,” the man calls over, and then coughs, rubbing his chest.
“That’s not necessary,” Farrah starts, but the man waves to quiet her.
“Please. You saved my life.”
She blushes, shaking her head. But then he comes over and shakes both our hands.
“Thank you,” he says to Farrah. He turns to me. “You’re a lucky man.”
We smile, and nod, and then thank him for dinner. Then, he walks out of the restaurant with his date. I smile at Farrah, raising my eyebrows.
“Looks like you’re the one taking me out for dinner tonight,” I grin.
“I’m just glad he’s okay,” she says, glancing after the man once more. I wait for her to mention the scar on my chest, but she turns to her food and takes a bite. She moans in contentment and smiles at me.
“Thank you for taking me out, Jesse,” she says. “I think I needed it. I was getting stuck in my own head.”
“I think you needed it too. You need to be reminded of how special you are.”
She smiles again, shaking her head.
God, she’s beautiful.
Tiredness lines her face, and I think that the ordeal with the choking man may have had more of an effect on her than we realize. We finish our food and leave the restaurant arm in arm.
Once again, I’m reminded how amazing and beautiful Farrah is. I’m also reminded how vulnerable and hurt she’s been. I glance back at the restaurant and think of everything she’s said to me tonight. I vow to take care of her, to cherish her and treat her exactly as she deserves to be treated.
29
Farrah
I lean my head on Jesse’s shoulder as he drives us home. Between a long week at work, a big meal, and the choking man incident, I’m completely spent. I hope Jesse wasn’t hoping for some wild, hot, animal sex tonight, because it’s not going to happen.
Something shifted between us tonight. He listened to me talk about my past in a way that I’ve never really experienced before. There was no pity in his eyes, no condescension, no judgement that I could see. He just listened. He listened to me.
Even after weeks of dating him, that one conversation feels more significant than any dates, or presents, or nights we’ve spent together.
He asked me about my past, about my pain, and he sat with me while I told him. My exes never did that. They never wanted to know.
I feel closer to him now than I ever did to Elijah. I feel like Jesse cares about me—the real me. He cares about what I’ve been through and what I want from life. He cares about what I think and how I feel. I’m not just arm candy for him, or someone to make him dinner and wash his stinky football glove.
He wants me.
I snuggle into him as my eyelids get heavier. He kisses the top of my head, and I feel more comfortable and content than I’ve ever felt before.
Maybe I’m ready to be with him.
I mean really be with him. I’ve still been holding back a piece of me, but tonight, it feels like I could give it to him without losing who I am.
I open my eyes and watch him drive down the street, and I take a deep breath. I sit up and look at him. His jaw is clenched and his eyes narrow as he looks down the road before making a turn, and then he relaxes into his seat. His hair is a little mussed on the side where I was leaning. He swallows, and then glances at me.
His eyes crinkle as he smiles.
He’s so incredibly handsome. Warmth spreads in my chest. My heart starts thumping, and I take a deep breath.
“Jesse,” I start. He glances at me again, moving his hand from the steering wheel to my thigh.
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
That came out wrong. I don’t think I’m in love with him. I know I’m head-over-heels completely crazy for him. I’ve known ever since the opening of the Football School. Ever since I saw him with the kids, and I saw the light in his eyes.
Jesse glances at me again, and his hand squeezes my thigh. His smile widens.
“I love you too, Farrah. I’ve loved you since the day you were perving on me walking out of the shower.”
“Perving on you!” I laugh, smacking his chest.
He laughs, catching my hand and kissing my fingertips. He glances at me again and intertwines my fingers in his hand. My hand feels exactly as I do—warm and protected and loved.
It’s completely different to the breathlessness I felt with Elijah. That was love born out of fear of being alone. This is love for the sake of love.
We turn onto my street and Jesse pulls into a parking spot in front of the steps. I turn to him, nodding to my door.
“I know it’s not as swanky as your Brookline mansion, but any chance you want to come in?”
He laughs. “I’d rather be in there with you than in my Brookline mansion any day of the week.”
My heart grows warm again and he runs his fingers along my jaw. Jesse presses his lips to mine, and I feel the love radiating between us.
I haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. My doubts from earlier in the week are quieter as he kisses me, and I start thinking that this relationship might be possible. Maybe Elijah will get over it, maybe his family will understand. Maybe things between us will work out.
We pull apart, and I smile again.
“I’m really happy, Jesse.”
“Good. Me too.”
My heart is doing backflips when I walk up my front steps. Jesse has his hands on my lower back, and he leans down to nibble on my ear. I smile, leaning back into him. My tiredness is gone, and the buzz of energy and love fills my heart. I turn to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.
“I love you, Jesse Matthews.” He smiles, and I start laughing. “I like saying it.”
“I love you too, Farrah Locklear.”
We go inside, and I’m too consumed by excitement and love and happiness to notice anything. I unlock my front door and go inside. Jesse is right behind me and I turn in his arms to kiss him again. My heart is singing. He crushes his lips against mine and I feel the strength of his love as he envelops me in his arms.
It’s not until I hear Elijah’s voice that I notice him in the doorway.
“Well, well, well,” he sneers. “What have we here?”
I jump away from Jesse, who spins around and shields me protectively. Elijah must have followed us inside. He’s holding the door open with his foot, and his beady, hard eyes are flicking from me to Jesse and back.
“Elijah, what are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”
“I have a few questions of my own,” he says, taking a step inside.
“Get out,” Jesse growls, taking a step toward his brother.
My heart is in my throat. I can’t speak. The tension in the air is so thick I could cut it with a knife. Jesse is pulling himself up to his full height and Elijah is doing the same. The two brothers face off, and their eyes speak of a lifetime of anger that I know nothing about.
“What is this?” Elijah spits.
“Is this payback? Are you just fucking my fiancée as some sort of revenge?”
“Ex-fiancée,” Jesse replies. “And no. You fucked that one up all on your own. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Like fuck it does. This is probably you trying get back at me for Sally, or Valerie, or Hailey, or… shall I go on? You just saw an opportunity to give me a taste of my own medicine.” Elijah barks out a laugh and starts clapping. “Well, bravo, brother. You’ve done well.”
“Get the fuck out, Elijah.”
“Or what? What are you going to do?”
“Get. Out.”
I watch the two of them stand chest to chest and I don’t know what to think. The happiness I felt a few minutes ago has evaporated, and in its place is cold, dark fear. Sally? As in Sally Harvey their family friend? Valerie? Hailey? Who are those women? Did Elijah steal a bunch of girlfriends from Jesse?
Is this what this is about?
A worm of doubt starts wriggling in my heart, and I glance at Jesse.
Elijah sees my face, and he starts laughing. “See, even Farrah doubts you. Don’t you see it in her face? Don’t let him fool you, Farrah. This—” he waves his hands between us. “None of this is real.”
“Don’t listen to him, Farrah.” Jesse says. His eyes are still glued on Elijah. “You need to leave.”
Elijah takes another step toward us and stumbles. I smell a whiff of alcohol, and I frown. Shouldn’t he be in peak pre-season shape by now? He shouldn’t be drinking like this.
I shake the thought away, shifting behind Jesse as he moves to protect me. Elijah wavers, and then looks at me with pure venom. Fear grips my heart. Jesse can sense it, and he takes a step to shield me from his brother.
Elijah’s face twists into a scowl, and before I know what’s happening, Elijah’s fist connects with Jesse’s jaw. Jesse stumbles back with a yelp, grabbing his face. I scream. Elijah roars, and turns his cold gaze to me.
30
Mr. Right: The Complete Fake Engagement Series Page 31