“Oh!” she said with a gasp. “My apologies, my Lord! I did not see you there.”
“Hannah,” John replied, and she feigned surprise. “Please, I would like you to meet some people I know.” He turned to his companions. “Miss Margaret Tambling,” he said of the taller dark-haired woman, “and Miss Penelope Wellington,” she had raven locks and plump cheeks, “may I introduce Miss Hannah Lambert of Wiltshire.”
“My pleasure,” Hannah said with a quick curtsy. It did not escape her that Miss Tambling seemed to struggle to keep her eyes off John, and that only added to her dislike of the woman.
“Is this your first season?” Miss Tambling asked. “I do not recall having seen you before.” The words were said with the utmost snobbery, and Hanna had the urge to reply in kind.
“Indeed, this is my first season. My brother-in-law, the Duke of Ludlow, is a very close friend of Mr. Elkins. As a matter of fact, it was at his personal request that I attend this evening as an honored guest.” Hannah held back her glee as the smug smiles of the women fell.
Miss Tambling gave her what Hannah assumed was a tolerant gaze and turned her attention back to John. “Will you be attending the ball given by Lord Montgomery three weeks from tonight?” she asked in a tone that was sickeningly sweet. “It is always one of the best of the season, and Penny and I will be in attendance.”
Hannah felt a wave of panic come over her. She had to do something! Before John could respond, she brought her hand to her forehead and gasped. “Oh, my!”
John turned to her, his face alarmed. “Hannah?”
“I-I am so sorry,” she said in a weak voice. “I believe I need a bit of fresh air. Please, continue; I will find my way out…unless I faint before I get to the door.”
Miss Tambling’s eyes narrowed, and Hannah smiled inwardly.
“I will accompany you,” John said, his voice filled with concern. “Ladies, enjoy your evening.”
With John at her side, Hannah felt some strange sense of victory. As they moved through the crowd, she had never felt prouder at the looks of admiration she received. It was only over a week ago that she had wanted nothing more than to remain at Scarlett Hall and have nothing to do with London; however, now that she was here, and at John’s side, she found she never wanted to leave. She did not understand the reason for it, but she welcomed it all the same.
They exited the ballroom and came to a large door, which John held open for her.
“This way,” he said.
She walked past him and inhaled the fresh air. She could not have the man grow suspicious. Torches had been set out along the path in order to allow the guests to see, and to bring a bit of warmth to the cool night.
“How are you feeling?” John asked. “Is there anything I can do?”
The moment had arrived, and Hannah knew that if she did not act right then, the man would be lost to her forever. The action would be unladylike, but it was worth the cost, for it would win him to her.
“I believe I am feeling…dizzy,” she said before summoning all her courage and closing her eyes, hoping beyond hope that he would catch her before she landed on the ground. Much to her pleasure, and her relief, he did.
As his arm went around her, her heart raced at how her body pressed against his. She did not know what had come over her, but the temptation was so great, she reached up and touched his arm. It was just as she had suspected, firm muscle resided beneath the cloth, and she thought her whole body would burn like a winter’s fire.
“I just need a moment,” she whispered, reveling in the fact her face was nuzzled into his chest.
“Should I get a doctor?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “I believe I feel better now.” She looked up at him. “Thank you for saving me,” she whispered. It reminded her of a book she once read. The heroine had been saved from a band of highwaymen by the handsome hero. The woman was so overcome with love and gratitude, she whispered those same words as she fell into the hero’s arms. It was then the hero kissed the heroine, and for a moment, she wondered if John would do the same.
“You are welcome,” he replied in a shaky voice that left Hannah not only worried but a bit disappointed.
The door opened and Hannah moved away as Isabel walked outside.
“John, Laurence is searching for you,” Isabel said. “He wants to introduce you to an old friend of his from his school days.”
John patted Hannah on the hand. “Please, rest, and I hope you feel better soon.
“Thank you,” Hannah mumbled, glad for the lack of lighting, for she imagined her cheeks had to be as red as a strawberry.
When John was gone, Isabel rounded on Hannah. “We must speak,” she said, using that tone Hannah recognized as her voice of authority. Oh, she was in quite a pickle! Her sister grabbed her elbow and directed her to a place behind a bench. “What made you believe you could leave a party and be seen alone with a man?”
“It was just John…”
“I do not care if it was John or any other man! Few here know you, nor do they know he is a guest in our home. Perception is everything.”
“I…was not feeling well and needed…”
“Fresh air?” Isabel asked. “And much to your eternal gratitude, somehow you convinced John to escort you lest you faint?”
Hannah nodded. “Yes.” She had never been so embarrassed in all her life. Who was this woman she becoming?
“When Mother told me you sneaked out of the house, I was mortified. Now you are sneaking away from a party! You cannot do such things. It is unladylike and will cause embarrassment not only for John but for yourself, as well.”
“I know,” Hannah said with a heavy sigh. “But I was concerned.”
“Concerned? About what?”
Hannah swallowed. “John. I find I enjoy his company; however, there are other women who would like nothing more than to be in his company, but for reasons that are not proper. I am sorry, but I feigned illness in order to save him.”
Isabel shook her head. “I do not understand. Save him from whom?”
“Other women,” Hannah replied. “You see, there are some who would think him handsome…” She paused. Would Isabel truly understand? Did she herself truly understand? “I believe some of these women may have an interest in John for reasons that are…deceptive.”
And I do not wish to see him with someone else, she added silently. Then she paused. What was she doing? This was not the person she truly was! How had she become this petty debutante? A woman reminiscent of Juliet?
However, Hannah could not stop the odd feelings that picked at her mind like a hen at the ground.
“Come with me,” Isabel said, taking Hannah by the elbow and leading her to a nearby bench. “I must ask. Do you have feelings for John?”
Hannah sighed. “I am unsure,” she replied. “It is all so confusing. I worry John will be taken by a woman who is completely wrong for him.” She raised a hand to stop her sister from responding. “I realize it is unfounded and that he is not my responsibility; however, I cannot seem to help myself.” Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back. She would cry for no man! “What is wrong with me? I am a woman of reason not a romantic fool!”
Isabel seemed to study Hannah. “I see what is happening here,” she said. “I suspected something like this might occur, but I did not expect it to be so soon.”
“What is that?” Hannah asked.
“I believe you have become enamored by John.”
Hannah shook her head. “No! I refuse! I cannot, and will not, be interested in any man. I have my book to finish and…”
Isabel chuckled. “It happens when we least expect it. But remember this. You have yet to experience the season. Do not put all your eggs in one basket. Allow other men to ask you to dance and enjoy in conversation, but you must remain a lady at all times. No more feigning illnesses or attempting to be alone with a man. It would devastate Mother if she learned how you behaved tonight.”
Hannah
sighed. Her sister was right. “I am sorry,” she said. “I understand and swear it will never happen again.” Shame overwhelmed her, and she hoped her face was not blotchy from the tears she had failed to stop.
“I do not say this to be cruel,” Isabel said as she dabbed Hannah’s face with a kerchief. “Like Mother, I only want the best for you, and I will do anything I can to assure your life is as perfect as it can be.”
Hannah embraced her sister. “I know. And I will do my best to act in the manner in which I was raised.”
Isabel smiled. “Good. Now, what are we to do about John?”
“I honestly do not know what came over me. Now that I look back on the past couple of days, I find myself more embarrassed than ever. The best thing to do is to focus on my writing and keep my head about me.” Then she giggled. “You know, I cannot take full responsibility for my actions this evening.”
With wide eyes, Isabel said, “Oh? And why is that? Do you wish to place blame on me?”
“No, not you,” Hannah said with a laugh. “It is Juliet. The years of listening to her stories have been a bad influence on me.”
Isabel joined in her laughter. “One of her is quite enough, thank you,” she said as she rose from the bench. “Come. Let us end this night with fun and speak no more on this matter.”
As the night grew later, Hannah considered how she arrived with the sole goal of catching John’s eye. Unfortunately, she struggled to keep her thoughts from the man. How she gone from a deliberate intelligent woman to a lovesick fool, she did not know.
***
When John returned to the townhouse, the others retired for the night; however, John went to the drawing room to have a final measure of brandy. The night had been strange. Not necessarily abysmal, but rather odd. He had given Miss Tambling and Miss Wellington his best smiles and had thrilled in the blush on their cheeks. It was an act he had sworn off, and yet he had done it anyway, for it came so naturally, as easy as breathing.
It was the moment when Hannah appeared, that was when his night had begun to unravel into the confusion that consumed him now. Not because she had interrupted, however, but because he found her an enigma. How did one explain the type of woman Miss Hannah Lambert was?
The woman was a bluestocking, that much he had ascertained. Yet tonight she had acted the braggart, which he had not expected from her. Other women, those such as Miss Tambling, in fact, had those tendencies, but Hannah did not seem the type.
It was not only her behavior that was in question, but his, as well. He had escorted her outside—alone! She was not the typical privileged lady to be left alone in the company of a man; however, no other choice was to be had, not if she had taken ill.
And therein lay the next part of his confusion. When she told him she was unwell, it had somehow frightened him. Why would he become overly concerned for Hannah? Yet, when she fell into his arms, he had an overwhelming desire to protect and care for her that he could not explain.
With her in his arms, he felt strong and protective, and, he had to admit, he enjoyed the embrace to the point he did not wish to release her. In fact, he had dared to consider kissing the woman such was his immediate reaction to her. What had begun as a favor to his cousin to feign interest in the woman was becoming much more, and he no longer saw it as a game, which was what had him sitting alone in the drawing room drinking yet another brandy and unable to sleep.
By all accounts, he knew that women could not resist his smile, and therefore, he was confident he could choose any woman he desired. Hannah was far different from his typical conquest with her love of animals and books, and he found it difficult to not think of her as he did other women. In truth, he wanted to choose her, and that did not sit well with him. What had brought on this strange desire for a woman so unlike the others he had pursued in the past? A woman so unlike himself?
Perhaps he wanted to pretend interest to the point he had tricked his own mind. He considered this as he took another drink of his brandy, its liquid like fire as it soothed his throat. Now that he was driven by something beyond pleasing his cousin, should he continue this strange pursuit? As he imagined spending more time with Hannah, doubt crept into his mind.
He had done many things that, if she learned of them, she might just turn and run. Run as far from him as she could, just as he had run away from that problem he prayed would never find him. Yet, for whatever reason, he knew Hannah was kind; she would understand.
“I am glad you are awake.”
John started and turned to see Laurence standing at the door.
His cousin shot him a wide grin. “You, my favorite cousin, have made me quite happy.”
“Oh?” John asked as Laurence poured himself a drink. “What is it that I have done to merit such an esteemed title?”
Laurence laughed and walked over to refill John’s glass. “My Isabel is happy, and that is all I care about.”
“Well, that tells me little,” John replied.
“You see, I told you how Isabel’s mother wanted Hannah to attend the season, yet she did not want to?”
John nodded. “You did.”
“It seems that Hannah has become a bit enamored with you. Isabel believes she will want to remain in London, and I have you to thank for that.”
So, it was as John had suspected. “You are most welcome,” he replied. “I did not mind.” In fact, he wished to tell Laurence the truth, that he had come to enjoy the woman’s company, as well, but he was unsure how to approach it without sounding a cad. His cousin had not asked him to woo the young lady, after all, but to make her more pliable for someone more appropriate for her.
Laurence chuckled. “I am glad you enjoyed the task. Now, your work is done. There is no need to continue with the charade.”
“Well,” John said, choosing his words carefully, “concerning that matter, I have realized that Hannah…” He paused. Could he risk the woman’s heart if she came to learn of his past? The mere thought of her hurt or upset pained him. Yet, could he stop himself from seeing her?
Laurence gave him an expectant look. “Yes? What is it?”
John juggled his thoughts. No, he was not the best man for such a woman as Hannah. “I am glad to have made her happy,” he replied with reluctance. “Now, with the season before us, I do hope she finds happiness.”
“Look at you,” Laurence said with a wide grin. “Always thinking of others before yourself.”
John forced a smile, but he wished he would be honest for once in his life.
“So, tell me of this Miss Oakley,” Laurence said. “You met her at the inn?”
“I did,” John said. He remembered his initial thought of considering stealing a kiss from the woman, and he felt a sudden sense of guilt. He had never had such a reaction when he thought of winning a kiss! “We engaged in pleasantries, and now it appears her father is eager to do business with me.”
Laurence shook his head. “I cannot believe your luck! Do not forget your cousin who invited you when you consider making a business deal with the man.” He laughed and lifted his glass.
“I will not,” John replied, lifting his glass, as well.
As Laurence chatted, John weighed his options. As much as he had grown to enjoy Hannah’s company, he knew that he would not be the best match for her, nor she for him. They were simply too different from one another. Of course, she was unaware of that fact, for she only saw the man he presented to her. It would be best if he focused his energies on Lord Oakley and his business ventures rather than on a lovely bluestocking with beautiful blond hair and deep blue eyes.
Despite this decision, however, he could not stop his mind from turning to that particular woman and her being in his arms, and he realized that ridding himself of that memory would be much more difficult than he ever anticipated.
Chapter Ten
For the week following his decision to distance himself from Hannah, John came to the realization that he had made a wise choice, even if it was not necessarily th
e choice he wished to make. He continued to engage Hannah in conversation whenever he joined her and his cousins for one outing or another, but as soon as they returned home, he made whatever feeble excuse he could to leave whenever Hannah invited him to join her in the library or made other attempts to speak to him alone. Unfortunately, all this did was confuse him more, for out of all of the women he had pursued, Hannah was the only whose feelings he cared if he hurt. That fact still tickled the edge of his mind as he walked down St. James Street.
It was late evening, and most of the shops had closed for the day. However, there were certain establishments still open, establishments that would provide a gentleman with a glass of brandy, gambling, and provide for other needs he might wish met. John had frequented such places often over the past four years, but now he was unsure if he wanted anything beyond a drink. In truth, he wanted to be near Hannah, but that was impossible, for he doubted he would be able to trust himself in her presence.
The endless cycle of frustration caused his shoulders to draw tight, and he came to a stop before a particular establishment which bore the name ‘The Noble Gentleman’. To any passersby, the sign was meant to convey a sense of regard and esteem; however, the reality was far from respectable.
How often had I been ‘far from respectable’ myself by frequenting such a place? he wondered. More often than he cared to admit.
With a sigh, he opened the outside door, which opened to a small foyer where two men flanked a second door, their bulging muscles making it clear to anyone entering that foolishness was not tolerated. They offered no words as John walked past them, nor did John them.
As soon as he passed through the inside door, he was assaulted by the strong odor of smoke, the sounds of laughter or the shouts of anger, and the faint tune of a dulcimer somewhere unseen. Tables scattered throughout the room held groups of men playing cards or dicing. Women, also referred to as ‘companions’, smiled, laughed, and encouraged whichever man gave them his attention—and his coin.
Secrets of Scarlett Hall Box Set: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance Collection Page 30