“That I should give up on my dream?” Hannah asked in shock. “Since I was a child, I have wanted to write stories, and I am so close. I cannot turn back now.”
“May I give you a bit of advice?” Ellen asked kindly.
Hannah nodded. “Please.”
“I, too, was once like you,” the woman said sadly. “I dreamed of writing a novel that would take the world by storm. Then I met my husband, who sadly passed nearly two years ago.”
“My condolences,” Hannah said.
“Thank you.” Ellen smoothed her skirts, as if what she said made her uncomfortable. “Although Patrick did not support me in writing, he did not stop me. It was my vow that, after my children were grown and married, I would take it up once again. However, I was not blessed with children before his death, and my days remained busy with other things. Now, if I am honest, the passion I once had left with Patrick’s passing.”
“I believe I understand,” Hannah replied. How her heart hurt for this woman, but she hoped she, herself, would not be forced to have such an outcome in her life.
“Do you wish to marry and have children one day?”
If it had been a month earlier, Hannah would have given an adamant no. Now, however, she was not as certain. “I believe so,” she replied. “I have found myself interested in a man…” She might not have notions of marrying any time soon, but the possibility of marrying John was intriguing.
“Then your time will be spent with your family. As it should be. My advice is to finish your book before you are wed, for you will have no time once that occurs.”
“What if he supports me?” Hannah asked. “Surely it will be fine to do so if that is the case?”
Ellen chuckled and patted Hannah’s hand. “Of course, it would be. However, the point is this. You cannot have two dreams that interfere with one another. Finish your book and then move on to a life as other ladies do.”
“Is that why Dorthea advised as she did?” Hannah asked. “That my struggle with my novel is not based on enough fact? That once wed, a woman must give up on her dreams? Is that why I struggle?”
“You struggle because you are innocent, and that is a beautiful thing. Regardless of what you have heard tonight, if you seek to finish and publish your book, then do so. I wish the best for you.”
“Thank you,” Hannah said. “It is my dream, and I will not stop until it is fulfilled. That much I can promise you.”
“Then we will drink to your success,” Ellen said with a warm smile. “You are welcome to return to any of the meetings, although I believe you have learned what little you can from us.”
Hannah nodded. “I will think on it. Thank you.”
The driver opened the door, and Hannah moved toward the carriage, but Ellen grabbed her arm.
“The season can be difficult to navigate, especially the first time. I believe we are friends, and I suspect we will become even more so. You never have to send a card, so please come by my house if you need someone with whom to speak or if you are simply in need of companionship.”
Hannah placed her hand on top of that of Ellen. “I will, thank you.” She stepped into the carriage in much better spirits. Hannah found Ellen very likable and she was certain they would meet again, and sooner rather than later.
During her journey to the townhouse, she thought of what she wanted from life. She would finish her novel regardless, but she also could not stop thinking of John. Would he, as he had said, allow her to pursue her dreams? Was he as interested in her as she was in him? Or was she that innocent young girl Ellen mentioned this evening? She could only answer these questions if she spoke to John.
Once home, Hannah was pleased to see Isabel and Laurence approaching in the foyer.
“How was your evening?” Isabel asked.
“It was not what I expected, but I did enjoy myself,” Hannah replied. “I admit I learned much. Thank you again for allowing me to attend.” She glanced toward the drawing room. She wanted to speak to John and tell him of the night’s events. “Is John occupied? It seems he has all but disappeared as of late.”
“He went to dine at the home of Lord Oakley,” Laurence replied. He reached into his pocket a produced a card. “This came for you earlier.”
Hannah whispered her thanks and took the card, her heart sinking. She had forgotten John had meant to go to the house of Lady Oakley and her father, and she found the idea of him being with the woman in any capacity made her sad. In fact, it tore at her heart, and she worried the woman had won him over while she, Hannah, played the silly girl.
“Lord Cecil Cooper wishes to call over,” Hannah said after she read the card. “Do I know him?”
“I believe you two met at the party Hugh gave,” Isabel replied. “Do you recall the man speaking of museums?”
Hannah nodded, remembering vaguely a bore of a man with red hair and a long nose.
“Will you accept?”
It was just the thing that would keep her mother and Isabel happy, but she had no interest in making a decision at the moment. What she wished to do was speak to John, to learn if he had any interest in Miss Oakley, or if his interests lay elsewhere.
To her delight, the front door opened and John entered.
“Are we hosting a party in the foyer?” he asked, his eyes bright and his breath reeking of alcohol. To make matters worse, a long blond hair clung to the shoulder of his coat.
So, I suppose I have my answer already, Hannah thought, her stomach doing flips as she attempted to keep down her evening meal.
“We were just discussing Hannah’s evening,” Laurence said with a laugh. “Did your meeting go well?”
“Yes,” John replied. “I have a good chance of doing business with Lord Oakley here in London. A jeweler’s, of all things.”
Just the thought of John spending his days in such a place made Hannah want to weep. She imagined him adorning Miss Oakley with the jewels he had on hand, of him slipping a gold ring on her finger.
When he had spoken of business a few nights earlier, Hannah had not understood then that he spoke of Miss Oakley’s father. Why had she been distraught over his happiness? She was not his mother, nor his keeper. In all reality, she should have been relieved; had she not been concerned with the path she had nearly gone down?
What bothered her most was the realization that she had pushed him into the arms of another woman with her flippant behavior. Juliet might be able to act in such a headstrong manner, but it was not becoming of Hannah. She had to stick to her books, for that was where her strength lay.
“As to your earlier question,” Hannah interjected, doing her best to keep her emotions under control, “I believe I shall send Lord Cooper a reply first thing in the morning. It would be an honor to spend time with such a respectable man. Will you help me choose the right dress? I wish to plan now, if you are available.”
“I am,” Isabel said with a wide smile. She gave Laurence a quick kiss on the cheek. “I will speak with you later.”
As they walked up the stairs, Hannah glanced over her shoulder and felt a sense of confusion wash over her, for the smile John had been wearing when he entered was gone, and a frown had now taken its place.
***
John sat brooding in the library, a book in his lap, of which he had yet to read a word. It had been five days since he had returned to find Hannah speaking of accepting a card from another man. The thought of the sender of that card having an interest in her made him both angry and sad, his frustration directed more at himself than anyone else.
How could he have allowed himself to have feelings for the woman? Then he had mussed it all with the wild belief that he was not good enough for her. Now he had driven her right into the arms of another man, and he had no one to blame but himself.
His choice of the library had been twofold. It was a quiet place in which to think, but his true desire was to be in the room in case she chose to bring her Lord Cooper there. So far, however, the two had closeted themselves—and
Isabel—in the drawing room.
The door opened, and John closed the book but was disappointed when Laurence entered the room.
“I secured tickets for The Royal Theater this Friday evening in Covent Garden,” Laurence said. “And, before you ask, I have a ticket for you, as well.”
John smiled as Laurence took the seat opposite him. “That is wonderful,” he replied. “Thank you for your generosity. I look forward to attending.”
Laurence waved a hand of dismissal. “Think nothing of it. We are family, and I…” He paused and frowned. “You seem different. Is everything all right?”
John set the book aside. There was no sense in keeping secret his burden. “I believe I may have made a horrible, and costly, mistake.”
“Oh?” Laurence asked as he leaned forward. “And what mistake would that be?”
“You see,” John said, hoping he would not sound as foolish as he felt, “it has to do with Hannah.”
Laurence sat back, a surprised look on his face. “Hannah? What has the girl done now?”
“Forgive me. She has done nothing wrong. I am struggling to get the words right.”
Laurence chuckled. “Sometimes it is best to simply say them.”
“Very well,” John said. “The fact of the matter is, I have come to find her company more agreeable than I would have thought. What began as a favor to you and Isabel has become something more.” He glanced down to find his hands clenched so tightly, his knuckles were white. “When I returned from my business meeting with Lord Oakley, I was more certain than ever that Hannah is a lady I would like to court.”
To John’s surprise, Laurence laughed. “Why, that is wonderful!” he said. “Yet, with such good news, why are you so glum?”
“She is in the other room entertaining Lord Cooper,” John said with a sigh. “I am afraid I may have missed my opportunity and another man has beat me to it. I do not blame her, for I waited much too long to approach her. Yet, now that I have found my courage to do so, it is too late.”
What he had hoped was to receive wise council but was taken aback when the man merely nodded. The room was eerily quiet for some time, and John shifted in his seat. However, as the minutes ticked by, he found he could wait no longer. “If Lady Lambert or Isabel feel me unworthy of calling on Hannah in an official capacity, then I suppose I would understand.”
Laurence shook his head. “No, I am sure her mother would approve, and I believe Isabel already does. What does concern me, however, is whether or not your feelings for her are true.”
“How can you say such a thing?” John asked. “You dare question my motives?”
Laurence raised a hand. “Now, now,” he said. “I do not doubt your integrity. However, I do wonder if by my hand forcing the two of you together has brought about possible false feelings.”
“I can assure you it did not. You see, I have told Hannah I was interested in books and poetry and a host of other things when I was not. Granted, we have many subjects in which we do not share an interest; however, somehow I cannot stop thinking about her. It is as if she has taken possession of me.”
“It sounds much like when Isabel and I first married,” Laurence said with a sigh. “There were circumstances, many of which do not need repeating, nor do they matter, for there was a spark between us.” He walked over and placed a hand on John’s shoulder. “It was my determination to win Isabel’s heart that won in the end. If you feel this strongly for Hannah, which it seems you do, then tell her.”
“And if I were to ask her and she rejects me? What then?”
“Do you care for her?”
John nodded. “I do.”
“Then you will want her to be happy no matter her reply.” He squeezed John’s shoulder. “I will leave you to your thoughts, but remember this. Sometimes one must give up what he believes he wants if he is to get what he truly wishes.”
When Laurence was gone, John stood and walked over to a window, which looked out over a small garden. A movement caught his eyes, and he watched as Hannah and Lord Cooper walked together along the path, Isabel following behind them. What he expected was a joyous or happy expression, but what he saw instead was sadness. Perhaps it was not too late after all!
Hurrying to a small writing desk, he took out a piece of parchment and found a quill. He had no idea how this plan would work, but if he did not make the attempt, she would be lost to him forever.
Chapter Thirteen
In preparation for Lord Cooper’s arrival, Hannah had selected a white dress with a lace pattern along the hem of the skirts as well as the sleeves. With the matching gloves adorned with lace, she felt beautiful, and Isabel had told her as much.
As she sat in the drawing room, Lord Cooper sitting across from her and Isabel at her side, Hannah could not stop her mind from drifting to John. When he had returned home that evening five days ago with that blond hair on his coat, her flustered heart had forced her to blurt out the acceptance of Lord Cooper’s request to call. Perhaps allowing the man to go to the arms of Miss Oakley had been the wise choice at the time, but now as Lord Cooper continued to speak, she realized what a mistake that had been.
“It was then when I came to the conclusion,” Lord Cooper was saying, his arrogance prevalent, “that the servants in my household, although loyal, are a simple lot. It is quite confounding that they manage to survive in life at all.”
Hannah offered the man a smile in an attempt to show interest in what he had to say, but it was not an easy task. Lord Cooper was perhaps thirty years of age with red hair and features that she would not have considered unpleasant, if it were not for his nose getting in the way. She wondered why he had never married, but now that she had endured his incessant complaining, she began to suspect the reasons why. He spoke only of himself, what he possessed, and had not a good word to say about any of it. Not once did he ask anything of Hannah.
“Nevertheless, they serve me well, and I have selected a few to travel with me to London for the season. In the past, I have been much too occupied with other matters than to take time for myself or to search for a potential bride. Yet, this season has bestowed upon me a gift—the chance to pursue what I want.” The grin the man wore made Hannah wish to excuse herself and run away. Then, much to her surprise, he asked her a question. “How are you finding the season thus far?”
“I am enjoying it,” she replied, glad at the opportunity to speak for the first time. “The parties have been lovely, and the atmosphere…”
“Such a waste of money,” he interrupted with a dismissive wave of his hand. “It is why I host my parties toward the end of the season, when everyone has had their fill of wine and food. One must always be careful of their expenditures.”
Hannah looked to Isabel for help, and like before, the woman came to her rescue. “Lord Cooper, I am curious to know. In what activities do you partake when your busy schedule leaves little time for socializing?”
“A most excellent question, Your Grace,” he replied. “I am honored to answer it.”
Hannah tried to suppress her frown. Since Isabel had become a duchess, the manner in which the ton spoke to her had changed dramatically. If Isabel said the sky was blue, the ton would applaud her and marvel at how acute her observations were.
“Like most gentlemen,” the man replied, “I prefer to hunt than to attend parties. However, I do enjoy a good book. One must be well read to get ahead in this world.”
For the first time, Hannah smiled. Perhaps a part of the man was human after all. “Which novels have you read?” she asked.
Lord Cooper drew back as if she had spit poison and burned the man with her words. “Novels?” he said with a sneer. “I do not read such rubbish, for they only make the mind lazy. I only read books concerning true subjects, but I am particularly fond of books on business. Have you read The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith? No, of course you would not. Few women find such intellect intriguing.”
As the man droned on about what he considered the
best book ever written, Hannah found her thoughts turning once again to John and his love of books. How she wished he was here instead of this man! But no, he would be thinking of Miss Oakley rather than her if he were here.
“The day is lovely,” Isabel said. “Would you like to take a stroll through the garden? The flowers are gone for the season, but the air will do us all a bit of good.”
“That is the most excellent of ideas,” Lord Cooper replied. “Truly, I had secretly hoped to be able to view them.”
Hannah considered laughing, but she decided against it. The manner in which he fawned over Isabel was outrageous, even more so than others of the peerage. Casting a glance at her sister, she gave her a small smile, which was returned with a wink. She would have to find a way to thank the woman later.
The day was indeed fine. The sun shining down on them eased the light chill that hung in the air, but anything was better than the confines of the house in the company of the pompous man at her side.
As they walked, Lord Cooper continued his tirade—something about the “filthy chimney sweeps” and how they apparently pilfered some of his silver the last time they had been in his house. She doubted the poor dirty children were the cause of his missing items; if they began stealing, no one would invite them into their homes.
At one point, she glanced up to see John staring out the window to the library. He wore a sad expression that surprised her, and she wondered if there was anything she could do to help. But he turned away from the window and disappeared.
Lord Cooper was complimenting Isabel on a fountain, gushing as heartily as the water that flowed from the jug held by a statue of a woman.
Finally, the moment came when the man went to take his leave, and they walked him to the foyer. “I must be on my way,” he said as they headed back to the house. “I hope to send another card and perhaps call over again, if that would be acceptable?”
What Hannah wished to do was decline now, for she would prefer to stare at the walls than to spend another moment in his company. However, she had made a promise to Isabel.
Secrets of Scarlett Hall Box Set: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance Collection Page 33