“I am almost finished telling you what I must,” he demanded. Then his voice softened once again. “You have captivated me unlike any woman has before. In truth, I have gone to Scarlett Hall several times to ask your mother’s permission to court you. However, each time I arrived, I could not follow through with my request. You see, I chose to come to you personally because I knew what your answer would be.”
Hannah could not stop the pounding in her heart at the intense gaze of the man looking down at her, and when he brought his hands to her arms, the fear only intensified. “You appear frightened,” he said, frowning. “I am not here to hurt you; I only wish to tell you my desire for you.”
“I cannot,” she whispered as tears filled her eyes. “Another man is courting me.”
His hands dropped to his sides and he took a step back. “This cannot be,” he said as he shook his head. “I thought…” He looked away for a moment, glaring down at the ground. When he rounded on her, his jaw was set and his face was red. He grabbed her elbow, sending a pain up her arm. “Who is this other man!” he demanded.
Hannah pulled away from the man and began to run, frightened beyond measure.
“Hannah, wait! I am sorry! I did not mean to frighten you. Listen to me, please. I meant no harm!”
Her legs moved faster than they ever had, and this time she did not turn to look behind her. When she reached the other end of the alley, she collided with a couple who was walking past.
“Are you all right?” the man asked.
Hannah pushed away just as someone said, “Hannah? What happened?”
Relief washed over her as Isabel hurried up to her, and Hannah threw her arms around her sister and wept.
“Have you been hurt?” Isabel asked. “What were you doing in that alley?”
“I am all right,” Hannah said as she accepted a kerchief from her sister. Then something occurred to her. If she were to tell Isabel the truth of what happened, not only would it cause problems between Isabel and Laurence, her sister would be forced to endure the shame of her former brother-in-law accosting her sister.
She glanced toward the alley; Connor was nowhere in sight. Perhaps he would leave her be now that he knew her current availability. Nothing would be gained, and all too much lost, if she told the truth.
Therefore, she lied.
“I came down the alley and a large dog chased after me.” She looked down at her mussed skirts. “I fell in the process, but thankfully, I was able to get back up and get away before he attacked.”
Isabel sighed and brushed at Hannah’s skirts. “You must get that cleaned,” she said. “I am afraid it may stain.” Then she smiled. “But I am glad you are safe. Come. John is waiting for us.”
Hannah nodded but glanced toward the alley once more, glad to see that it remained empty. Connor had been livid when she told him about John. It was as if the man would not take no for an answer. However, it did not matter what he felt for her, for her heart was with John, and there, she would remain safe.
***
Hannah followed Isabel and John to a shop with a sign that indicated it was “Martin and Sons Publishing”, and she whispered a thrill of excitement that made her grin. After all the years of dreaming, she would finally seek a publisher for her novel! Despite her excitement, however, a thread of fear made her stop at the door, unable to move. What if she made a fool of herself, and in turn of John and Isabel?
Her sister seemed to sense this and offered Hannah a warm smile. “You have the right to inquire,” she whispered. “No matter the reply, you may ask.”
Hannah took a deep breath. Her sister was right; what harm could simply inquiring do?
When John opened the door for her, she could not help but feel a sense of safety. All the fear she had felt in the alleyway had disappeared, and she knew it was because of this man. “I am honored to be here for this occasion,” he whispered as he leaned in toward her. “I wish you the best of luck.”
“Thank you,” Hannah replied. With a confident step, she entered the building. The inside was much smaller than she had anticipated. Two bookshelves on the walls to either side of her gave the already small space a cramped feeling with books not only lining the shelves but also stacked on top and piled in front of them on the floor.
In the back of the room behind a counter sat a man with curly gray hair, a book propped open as he leaned against the counter. Isabel nodded, and Hannah approached the man, her heart wishing to escape her chest.
Without looking up, the man said, “I’m sorry. We’re not seeking any employees, and it’s doubtful I’ll be needing any help anytime soon.”
“I am not here in search of employment,” Hannah said, surprised that her voice was not wavering. “I am here to inquire about publishing a book.”
The man looked up and sighed. Then he glanced at John. “Can the gentleman not speak for himself?”
“It is I who am inquiring,” Hannah said, keeping her vexation at bay—barely.
The man rubbed his temples and closed his book with a snap.
“I do not mean to interrupt your work,” she continued, although what she could have been interrupting, she did not know. “I can make an appointment if you would prefer.”
A curtain over a door behind the man moved, and a woman entered, a teacup in her hand. She set the cup on the counter. “Oh, hello,” she said with a bright smile. “What a lovely hat.”
“Thank you,” Hannah replied. She had changed out the trimmings that morning to match her lavender dress.
The old man reached for the teacup, and Hannah had to stifle a laugh when the woman smacked his hand. “Phineas, no one wants to hear you slurp your tea.” She turned and smiled at Hannah. “Now, how may we help you?”
The moment had finally come, and it took all of the courage Hannah could muster to speak. “I am currently penning a novel.”
The man groaned, but when the woman shot him a glare he quieted once again.
“Please, continue,” the woman said.
Hannah could not help but smile. “Thank you. You see, since I was a child, I have had a love of reading, and that led to a love for writing. What I am writing now is a romantic novel,” -another groan followed by another glare- “that I would like to see published one day.”
Old Phineas snorted. “We don’t publish books for women; there simply is no market…”
“Enough, you,” the woman snapped. “Pay him no mind. What is your name?”
“Hannah. Hannah Lambert.”
The woman smiled. “I’m Albina Bragg, and this old coot is my husband, Phineas.” She leaned on the counter. “The truth of the matter is few bookmakers will publish books by women, but we do.” She shot the man a glare that dared him to speak against her. “Despite what most men believe, many women have seen great success in their published works. Take Mary Pilkington, for example. Her Delia received a marvelous reception, as did Fanny Burley’s Camilla. I’m a proponent of women doing more than scribbling a few words of poetry or writing children’s books. If your book shows any bit of promise, we’re certainly willing to consider it.”
Phineas snorted, picked up his teacup, and made his way through the curtain from which Albina had entered. His wife rolled her eyes but then smiled again.
“You say you’re in the process of writing this novel?”
Hannah nodded. “I am.” She did not wish to mention how she had been struggling as of late. “It is nearly complete, however.”
“I want to be honest with you,” Albina said. “I can’t make any promises that Phineas will agree to publish your book. I can cause a ruckus, but ultimately, the decision is his.”
“I understand,” Hannah replied.
“When you have completed it, bring it around and see me. You can count on me taking the time to read it.”
“I appreciate your time,” Hannah said. “I have never been happier in all my life.”
“Then by all means, leave now!” the woman said dramatically. “The s
ooner you get back to your work, the sooner you will return.”
Hannah thanked the woman again, and she led John and Isabel outside.
As luck would have it, the storm clouds had passed, and the sun shone brightly. Was there any better sign of the wonderful days that were ahead?
Chapter Eighteen
Thus far, the season had surpassed any expectation Hannah could have ever considered. She had made new acquaintances, Lady Ellen for example, and found she enjoyed attending parties more than she believed she would. And in her pursuit of her dream of seeing her novel published, she had found a possibility of seeing that completed.
However, despite those wondrous new findings, one shone brighter than all the others, something she never would have thought possible—she had found love. Her feet no longer touched the ground, and John’s smile spoke far more than the quill could write on parchment.
It was that adoration that now guided her hand as she continued her book. Each line was carefully crafted, and the characters—two people she had adored before—were now closer to her heart. For now, she understood what it meant to fall in love and therefore knew how her hero and heroine would react.
When she completed her novel, she would share it with Lady Ellen and the other women of the writing society as a way to show them that love did exist, not only on the page but in the world around them.
Stifling a yawn, Hannah returned the quill to its holder and wiped at her fingertips with a kerchief. That was the one downfall to writing to which she would never become accustomed—ink-stained fingers. However, it was well worth being forced to wear gloves at all times if it meant completing her manuscript.
The door opened and Isabel entered. “We will be leaving for the circus soon. You do not want to keep John waiting.”
Hannah smiled and rose from the chair. “I would like to ask you something,” she said as she walked over to stand before her sister. “However, I ask that you keep it in confidence.”
“Yes, of course.”
“When a woman comes to love a man, is it appropriate for her to express such feelings, or is it expected she wait until he expresses how he feels for her first?”
Isabel gave her a smile. “You would not be speaking of John, would you?” Hannah nodded. “As I thought. It is my counsel that you speak it when the moment is right.”
Hannah frowned. “How will I know when the moment is right??”
“Trust me,” her sister replied, “you will know.”
Hannah sighed. “I hope so.”
“You will,” Isabel said as she patted Hannah on the arm. “Now, we must wait until later to continue this conversation. Laurence will grow frustrated with us if we are not in the carriage ready to go soon.”
Hannah donned her gloves, gave herself one more glance in the mirror, and followed Isabel from the room where Laurence and John stood waiting.
“I think tonight will be wonderful,” John said as he offered Hannah his arm. “I have been twice before and have not been disappointed yet.”
“I look forward to it,” Hannah replied as she placed her hand on his forearm. “And I agree; it will be wonderful.” For tonight will be the night I tell you of my love for you, she thought. She just hoped he would reply with the same.
***
Hannah had never experienced such a spectacle in all her life. Astley's Circus was held in an amphitheater with open and boxed seating that wrapped around in a half moon allowing all a clear view of the performances that took place in the large circle of dirt below them.
The standing area was full of people from all walks of life—ladies in beautiful dresses stood beside young men in clothes filled with patches. Unlike the theater and its polite whispers, the air was filled with raucous laughter and shouts of excitement.
John had secured them seating in one of the enclosed boxes, and the show would begin shortly. Although she looked forward to the show ahead of them, Hannah found the excitement of informing John of her love for him excited her all the more. She was unsure when she would express her feelings for him, but the idea of saying such things while a performer conducted his act seemed inappropriate. Nor could she tell him during the carriage ride home with Isabel and Laurence listening.
At one point, she considered writing it, but the idea was much too impersonal for such an important admission. Regardless, she was so caught up in her thoughts that the sudden applause of the crowd startled her and she began to shake.
“Are you all right?” John asked as he leaned in close to her.
“Yes,” she replied, feeling her cheeks burn. “I am fine.”
She turned her attention to the performance area where a man in a bright red jacket entered the circle carrying a cane behind three dogs walking side by side. The man held up the cane, and the dogs sat in unison. Then he tapped the cane on the ground twice, and the dogs reared up on their hind legs, and to Hannah’s surprise, they walked upright across the ring before they jumped over the cane the man had stretched out before him. Hannah could not help but join in the heavy applause at each trick performed.
“This is marvelous!” she said. When she turned toward John, she was pleased to see he wore a smile, as well. “I never expected to see such feats!”
“It will only get better,” John said. “This is only the beginning.”
Was he speaking of more than the performances happening before them? Could he have been speaking of their future together? For the first time, Hannah considered that, if he were to ask her to marry him, she would accept without thought.
Returning her attention to the circle, she was impressed as another man joined the dog trainer. He performed several feats on the back of a horse, and soon, jugglers were tossing swords and fire sticks in the air, making the audience gasp in fear they would cause themselves harm.
Hannah laughed so loudly, she thought her voice would carry over the laughter of the crowd as a host of clowns joined. However, just when she thought the acts could not get any better, eight men entered all dressed in white shirts and banging at large drums. Every performer moved in sync to the beat they created and stopped as one when the drummers struck a final beat.
For a moment, the room was left in silence, but then the crowd roared in approval, and Hannah was as enthusiastic as everyone.
“I know this is not the theater you desire,” John shouted near her ear in order to be heard, “but it is something I wanted to share with you. I hope it has met your approval.”
“It has been far better,” she replied, “for it has exceeded my expectations. I must admit that I cherish anything you share with me.”
To her surprise, his cheeks reddened, and that now familiar warmth entered her body. Yes, it was about time she shared her true feelings for him.
And it will be soon if I have anything to do with it, she thought as the second act began and a host of knights waving green flags depicting a dragon rode out into the circle.
***
The third and final act was underway, and Hannah leaned forward as a carriage rode around the vast sea of performers. Now it was the knights who juggled and the clowns who sat on horseback. Even the dogs marched alongside the men in uniform. Although it was not Shakespeare, Hannah had never enjoyed herself as much as she did at this moment.
Then, to her disappointment, the show came to an end, the last act a man who walked across a rope, jumped off, and landed on a horse without so much as a totter. Saluting the crowd, one by one the performers marched away behind the large curtain. The applause was thunderous, and Hannah found herself standing and clapping her hands just as wildly as everyone else. As the applause came to an end and laughs and talking replacing it, Hannah let out a sigh.
“I do wish to return sometime,” she said. “If the season only consisted of the circus, I would want to return every year for that alone.”
Laurence laughed as he and Isabel faced them. “I certainly plan on returning,” he said, “as does Isabel.”
Her sister nodded in
agreement. “Most definitely.”
Laurence offered Isabel his arm. “Shall we discuss this back at the house with a few drinks?”
The group gave their approval, and with John at her side, the four made their way out of the booth and joined the others who moved down a long, yet narrow, hallway.
“The dogs,” John said. “Each time I see them perform, I want nothing more than to purchase such animals. Or maybe I may teach them myself.”
“That would be fun,” Hannah said. “And if you needed help, I would offer my services.”
He smiled. “I would like that.”
At the bottom of the stairs, a man in one of the performer’s red coats stood pointing toward one of the side doors. “Forgiveness,” he was saying, “but there’s been a small fire and the back alley is blocked. Please continue into the main area and you may exit from there.”
“A fire?” Hannah gasped. “Let us hope it has been extinguished!”
The line of people slowed at the door that led to the main hall.
“There are too many people in here,” Laurence said, turning to face them. “Take care as we make our way through. Stay close together and follow me so we are not separated.”
Hannah nodded, and John leaned in. “Do not leave my side,” he said.
“I will not,” she replied as her hand tightened on his arm.
They moved forward in the line, and soon they stepped through the door into the main hall, Laurence and Isabel in front of them. Apparently, no one wished to leave, for it was as if everyone who had been in attendance stood laughing and shouting to one another, many with bottles in their hands.
Hannah widened her eyes when a man in a ragged suit lifted a bottle to his lips and drank as one left in the desert for too many days. When a woman in a faded dress kissed his cheek, onlookers roared with approval. With each step taken, Hannah’s worry increased as the crowd grew denser, and soon she felt as if she were suffocating.
Just as she came close to giving into the panic, an arm wrapped around her waist, and she turned to see John smiling at her. She allowed him to propel her through the throng of people, and she felt much safer.
Secrets of Scarlett Hall Box Set: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance Collection Page 37