by Wood, J N
‘We’re friendly with one of the fence guards,’ the taller woman replied. ‘We’ve got a fair bit of business out of all this end of the world shit.’
‘We literally just stumbled across you,’ Roy told them. ‘You threaten us with guns and tell us you can get us over the fence for cash. It all sounds a bit too easy. How do we know we can trust you? You might just shoot us after we hand over the cash.’
The two women looked at each other for a second, before the taller one said, ‘We might shoot you before you hand over the cash, and just take the money from your corpses.’
After a momentary pause, Roy replied, ‘Okay, you’ve got yourself a deal.’
‘Cash up front please gentlemen,’ the taller woman said. ‘Hey Kiki, we can probably do this now. Sandro still has an hour left.’
Kiki looked at her watch. ‘That’s cutting it a bit fine.’
‘It only takes ten minutes to get there.’
Kiki glanced at us, and then back to her friend. ‘Okay, but we need to set off now.’ Her eyes flicked between me and Roy. ‘Fifteen hundred dollars. Cough it up.’
I’d only put a couple of hundred dollars in my pocket.
‘I’m gonna have to go in my backpack,’ I told them.
‘Take it off and throw it to me,’ Kiki said. ‘Just want to check for any weapons. I don’t trust you as much as Rose does.’
I took the bag off and swung it underarm to Kiki. It landed at her feet.
Hopefully hiding the money in my spare underwear will work. Surely she won’t look inside them?
Kiki unzipped the bag and looked inside. She slipped her hand in and rummaged around for a few seconds. After she zipped it back up, she threw it back into my hands.
‘Couldn’t see any money in there,’ she said. ‘What have you done? Hidden it in your socks?’
I handed the bag to Roy and then placed both hands in to count the money out. I leaned my head over the bag, making sure to keep it all hidden from the two women. ‘There’s not much in here,’ I told her. ‘Easy to miss it.’
After spending far too long counting out the money, I handed it over to a very impatient Kiki. ‘Maybe you can buy another pair of gloves now,’ I told her.
She stared at me with raised eyebrows. ‘Very funny. Ever try and shoot a gun with gloves like these?’ She held up her gloved hand.
I shook my head.
‘Maybe we should wait until Sandro’s next shift,’ she said as she sifted through the notes. ‘After Dipshit spent two hours finding his cash.’
‘Hey, this dipshit isn’t familiar with Canadian money,’ I said. ‘I’ve only been here once before, about three or four years ago. And that was only for three days.’
‘We can make it in time,’ Rose said, ignoring me.
‘And it was two fucking minutes,’ I continued. ‘Not two hours.’
‘Keep your pants on Dipshit,’ Kiki replied, and turned to Rose. ‘It’s all here. Let’s go.’
Rose waved her gun at me and Roy. ‘You two stay in front.’ She then pointed the gun over my shoulder to something behind us. ‘We’re going in a straight line that way.’
We both spun around.
‘Straight across the runway?’ Roy asked.
‘Yeah,’ Rose replied. ‘Then follow the track, cross the road, then up the hill to the fence.’
‘We’ll be out in the open,’ Roy said.
‘The only person that will see us is Sandro,’ Kiki told us. ‘Now get moving. Time waits for no man, especially not two dipshits.’
We started to cross the field separating us from the runway.
‘How does this work?’ Roy asked. ‘Who is this Sandro guy?’
‘Sandro is a fence guard,’ Kiki replied.
Sandro? Where the fuck have I heard that name?
‘I guessed that,’ Roy said. ‘How do you know him? What do we do? Just walk up to the fence, give him the money and he lets us in?’
‘Not that it’s any of your business,’ Rose said. ‘But Sandro is my aunt’s eldest son.’
‘Your cousin then?’ Roy asked.
‘Yeah that as well,’ she replied.
‘It’s going to happen exactly like you just said,’ Kiki interjected. ‘We walk up to the fence, give him the money and he lets you in.’
‘Simple as that?’ I asked.
‘Yeah simple as that,’ Kiki stated. ‘Now quit dragging your heels. We have some time restraints to deal with.’
As we approached the fence, a masked guard was stood on the other side waving at us. I was about to wave back when I realised he was waving at the women behind us. When we were half way up the hill that led to the fence, Kiki ran past us, stopping in front of a double gate within the fence. The soldier, I’m assuming this Sandro guy, stepped forward to meet her at the gates.
I exchanged a glance with Roy, and shrugged.
‘Do you reckon this is going to work?’ he asked me.
‘It all seems a bit too easy.’
‘Yeah it does,’ he agreed.
‘It’s about time we had a bit of luck,’ I said.
‘What about the guy stabbing himself in the face? That was quite lucky.’
‘Jack told you about that then?’
‘Obviously,’ Roy answered.
‘Okay, a bit more luck wouldn’t do us any harm.’
Kiki handed him our cash through the wire mesh. Sandro took it and started counting it, glancing up to check us out as we approached them.
I turned to Rose, still walking behind us. ‘Why aren’t you two wearing masks?’
She shrugged and said, ‘If we were gonna catch it we’d have got it by now.’
The sound of jangling keys spun me back around. The soldier was carrying a bunch of them, attached to his belt by some kind of flexible cable. He unlocked the first lock, then the second, and finally the third. He opened one of the gates and beckoned us in.
We just stood there staring at him.
‘What are you waiting for Dipshits?’ Kiki asked us. ‘Go on in. He’s not going to wait for you all day.’
‘See you next time Sandro,’ Rose said, and the two women spun around and walked back the way we’d come.
‘Good luck Dipshits,’ Kiki called out.
‘Thanks,’ Roy said, almost questioningly.
‘Come on fellas,’ Sandro said, drawing my attention back to him.
We stepped through the open gate and he locked it back up behind us.
Maybe it is this easy.
Sandro reached up and clicked the radio slotted into one of the many pockets on his camouflage vest. ‘Control. Post Forty Eight B to Control.’ He stood with his hand still around the radio.
‘What now?’ Roy asked him.
Sandro raised his free hand towards us, his forefinger pointing upwards.
His radio crackled into life. ‘This is Control. Go ahead Forty Eight B.’
‘I need a bathroom break but I’m only ten minutes from end of shift. Permission to knock off early. Over.’
A few seconds of silence passed by.
‘Permission granted. Out,’ the voice on the radio lazily said.
‘Excellent timing fellas,’ Sandro said. ‘I’ll drive you to see Custard. He can help you out with what you need to do next.’
Custard, that also rings a bell.
‘Custard?’ Roy asked.
Sandro started walking to one of the electric jeeps we kept seeing, parked up on the other side of the freeway. He looked back and signalled for us to follow him. ‘Don’t know his real name. That’s how he introduces himself. Could be his real name for all I know.’
He told us to get in the back and curl up around the large gun. We climbed in and did as he asked. He then started to cover Roy with a blanket, saying, ‘It’s only a ten minute drive.’
‘What’s only a ten minute drive away?’ Roy asked, putting his hand out to stop Roy covering his head.
‘Custard,’ Sandro replied, and dropped the blanket. He picked up another
from the passenger seat and placed it on me, my head was the last bit to go under.
‘What happens at Custard’s?’ Roy asked from under the cover, sounding impatient. ‘We can just go. You know? We’ll go off on our own.’
Who the fuck is Custard? I’m sure I’ve heard of someone called Custard before. First Sandro, then Custard.
‘Sandro?’ Roy called out.
I felt a slight lean to the left as Sandro climbed in. ‘If I just let you walk off around here,’ he told us. ‘You’ll be caught in no time. And I will be arrested for treason or some shit.’
The jeep silently started to vibrate.
‘Keep your heads down fellas,’ Sandro said as we set off.
I felt excited to be over the fence, but also a bit nervous as the wind nipped at the edges of the blanket.
I don’t know why. This can’t be a trap. Why would they have gone to these lengths just to capture us?
Less than a minute had elapsed when Sandro said, ‘Don’t make a sound fellas.’ The jeep then started to slow down and came to a complete stop.
I froze and tried to hold my breath.
‘Finished for the day Sandro?’ a man’s voice said. He sounded close to my side of the jeep.
‘Yep. All done,’ Sandro replied.
‘See you tomorrow,’ the man said.
‘Surely will,’ Sandro said.
The jeep set off again. ‘All clear fellas,’ Sandro called out.
Chapter 10: P…O…E
‘We’re here,’ Sandro told us. ‘Out you get.’
It was the first time I noticed his Canadian accent.
I sat up and pushed the blanket away from my face, almost head butting the gun in the process. A loud metal clang followed by a groan meant Roy wasn’t as fortunate.
We were in a car park overlooking a lake, with a dirt track leading down a hill.
‘Over here fellas,’ Sandro called out.
I swivelled around to see him walking towards the open back doors of a battered lorry. Three cars were parked around the lorry.
‘Well, this doesn’t look dodgy as fuck,’ I said to Roy.
‘Run away now?’ he asked.
‘Custard,’ Sandro called out. ‘Got two new guys here. Just come over the fence.’
‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. ‘Maybe.’
‘Let’s get out of this jeep first,’ Roy said.
‘Hi Sandy,’ a voice boomed out. ‘Endangering the fine citizens of Canada again I see.’
A very small but very round man was stood in the back entrance of the lorry’s mostly white trailer. He was holding onto something inside, his rotund frame leaning out over the edge, one leg swinging from side to side. The white paint on the trailer was flaking away in patches, exposing the rust underneath.
‘Fuck you Custard,’ Sandro said. ‘You do the same.’
‘True,’ he replied. ‘But I am merely one of those Canadian citizens I just mentioned. I didn’t sign up to protect the country.’
‘Looks relatively harmless,’ Roy whispered to me.
I placed my hand on the side of the jeep and stepped out. ‘Yeah let’s go and see what he’s got to say.’
As we were walking towards the round man, who was also wearing a face mask, Sandro walked past us on his way back to the jeep. ‘Hopefully I’ll never see you fellas again. If you get caught, no mention of me and Custard. Okay?’
We both agreed and thanked him. He climbed into the jeep and drove towards the dirt track, disappearing over the edge of the car park.
‘Come aboard the Custard Mobile,’ the round man said. ‘Let me show you what you need to do next.’ He pointed down with a bulbous finger. ‘The ladder is just here. No physical contact please. Keep two metres apart once you’re up here.’
I climbed up first, taking two steps inside the trailer before a familiar voice made me stop dead. It took me a few seconds to place it. By the time I figured out who it belonged to, my eyes adjusted to the dim light so I could recognise the two men. I could only see the sides of their faces, but it was definitely Logan and Milos, standing at a table at the far end of the trailer. It sounded like they were haggling over something. They hadn’t turned to look at me yet.
I quickly spun around, almost knocking Roy out of the open doors.
‘Careful,’ Roy exclaimed. ‘You nearly sent me flying.’
‘Watch your step there,’ Custard said. ‘I don’t claim any responsibility for people’s safety aboard the Custard Mobile.’
‘Hey Custard,’ Milos shouted. ‘Who you got there?’
‘Just some newcomers to the country,’ Custard replied. I noted a slight tremble in his voice.
Footsteps sounded from behind me. They were walking over to us.
‘I recognise that voice,’ Milos said. ‘Let’s get a closer look at you.’
Shite.
One set of footsteps stopped, the other a split second later.
‘Wait Milos,’ Logan said. ‘The English guy was a ginger. It’s not him.’
Thank you Logan.
‘You in the hat,’ Milos shouted. ‘Turn around.’
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Maybe I should grab Roy and jump off the lorry. It’s about four foot down to the ground though. Roy would probably twist his ankle or something. Fuck a fucking duck.
I slowly spun around, keeping my face up. I figured if somebody wanted to hide their identity they’d look away.
‘The Irish guy had a beard,’ Logan said. ‘It’s not them.’
Irish? Who the fuck was Irish?
Logan grabbed Milos’s arm and pulled him back to the table. Milos kept his eyes fixed on me for a long time, until he finally gave in to Logan and turned around. I noticed another man stood down there, just about emerging from the darkness.
Have they been back to the basement yet? Fuck. That’s where I know Custard from. They were talking about him. Chris you fucking forgetful twat.
‘So,’ Custard said, and walked over to a large map pinned to the inside of the trailer. He pointed to a spot on the map. ‘This is where we are now. I can offer you fake Proof of Entry papers.’ He gave us both a huge but very fake smile. ‘Very authentic looking. They’re accepted everywhere. Not had a single complaint yet, and only two thousand dollars each. I can also offer you very reliable car. The Ford outside. Only five thousand dollars and it’s yours.’
I looked at Roy. ‘Yeah can do. What do you think?’
‘The papers definitely,’ he replied. ‘I’d have to look at the car first.’
‘Hey,’ Milos called out from behind us. ‘Stay exactly where you are.’
Bollocks.
‘Just doing some business here Milos,’ Custard said with a nervous chuckle.
‘Shut the fuck up Fat Man,’ Milos barked.
Milos marched right up to me. When he was just a few inches away from me, I slowly backed away until I was stood at the edge of the trailer. He followed, keeping close to me. His eyes roamed across my face, seeming to inspect every part of me. Logan was stood by Custard, who looked confused, and was slowly edging over to the wall
‘Say that again,’ Milos ordered me.
‘Say what again?’ I answered, trying to disguise my accent.
His eyes tracked the many cuts on my face, until meeting my own. They suddenly grew larger.
‘Remember the rules,’ Custard timidly called out. ‘You need to keep at least two metres away from each other.’
Milos’s face spun around to stare at Custard. ‘Shut the fuck up,’ he growled.
He was so close to me I didn’t have to move. I brought my knee hard up into his groin. His face snapped back to me, contorted with pain. As he slumped forward into me with a whimper, I grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face into my knee as I brought it upwards. His whimpering ended abruptly on impact. I heard and felt his nose collapse into his face.
Logan screamed something and started heading my way, while Custard was making some kind of nervous squeaking noise. I grabbed the fall
ing Milos by his shoulders and threw him backwards into the advancing Logan. They became entangled with each other and hit the floor of the trailer hard.
I turned to grab Roy but he wasn’t there. The panic hit me as I quickly scanned the back of the lorry.
‘Get out of there Chris,’ Roy shouted.
One of the back doors was swinging around. It slammed shut and Roy’s face appeared alongside it.
‘What are you doing? Get out of there,’ he repeated.
I jumped down at the same time as Roy started to close the other door. I helped him once I’d turned myself around. The gap between the doors was getting smaller and smaller. At the same time Logan’s face was getting bigger and bigger as he got closer to us. I caught a glimpse of Custard, still trying to squash himself into the side of his Custard Mobile. We got it closed just as Logan’s hand slammed against the inside. Roy had already locked the levers into place on the closed door. Logan was pounding on the other side of the doors as I quickly locked the levers on this one. Two heavy metal pins hung from chains. We took one each and placed them through two of the levers, fully sealing the doors shut.
Four loud bangs in quick succession exploded around us. I involuntarily ducked down. Roy was in the same position, crouched down next to me with his hands over his ears. I looked up to see four freshly made holes in one of the doors.
‘Let’s go,’ I said.
He nodded, and staying in our crouched positions we made our way to the side of the lorry. We ran the full length of it, leaving the car park and running towards the edge of the lake.
‘Where are we going?’ I shouted.
‘Away from here.’ After a few seconds, he said, ‘Wait, wait, wait.’
I looked over my shoulder to see Roy slowing. I stopped and turned around. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked.
‘I got a quick look at the map in there,’ he replied, pointing behind him. ‘There’s not much north of us. We need one of those cars.’
‘They’ll soon get out of there.’ A split second later three more shots rang out. I gestured to the car park and said, ‘See.’
Roy spun around and started back up the slight incline. ‘I’m going for a car.’
‘What the fuck?’ I said.
I hesitated for a second, and then chased after him.