Every inch of her skin was throbbing with need. She wanted his hands on her again, not the shower water. She wanted his cock inside her, not across the shower from her. Couldn’t he tell how badly she needed him? How could she possibly be so bad at this? She should just come out and say it.
She didn’t need to. Rodrigo must have felt the same because he gripped the back of her neck and yanked her into a greedy kiss, like he’d been holding himself back the entire time. His teeth scraped her lips in a hungry manner. She gripped his arms and held on for the ride, losing her mind.
No, she could do more than that. She reached between them and found his cock again. The tip was slick. She ran her thumb over it and trailed the slickness down his shaft so that she could stroke him easier. Rodrigo groaned into her lips. He acted like no one had ever touched him in this way either.
Lily felt special, she felt in control. She led him toward her opening. There was a split second where she caught the flash of his animal in his eyes. It was a beastly hunger that made her gut clench. Rodrigo got the message, put his hands on her shoulders, and turned her around.
She slapped her hands against the wall to brace herself. The familiar nudge of his cock from behind greeted her again. While he gripped one breast in his hand and angled her hips with the other, she reached down and prepared herself for his entrance. She was so wet from all the ways he’d touched her.
“Fuck me. Please. I need it,” she moaned into the wall.
As though he needed no more, he found the entrance of her opening and pushed inside. She gasped at the sudden sensation. It was too much too fast. Her body wasn’t as prepared as she thought. Or, perhaps it was. It didn’t hurt so much as it overwhelmed her. Pleasure tightened her scalp and rolled her eyes back.
This was what it felt like to make love. She wanted to hold onto this and never let it go. Pleasure tingled in her legs, in her chest. She’d never felt so much before in her life. It took up space in every inch of her body. When he began to slowly thrust, the pleasure grew charged. It vibrated until it was hard to catch her breath.
She held it and thought only of the way his fingers worked her nipples, only of his cock so deep inside her. He braced himself against the wall, one hand over hers. His fingers twined with hers.
Her core grew hot and heavy. She knew what was coming but was unprepared for the wave that it would bring with it. When her orgasm broke, she couldn’t hold it in. She screamed her pleasure into the shower. Rodrigo made a gruff sound right before his teeth found her shoulder. Her scream turned into a guttural groan. Pleasure danced around his bite and made her knees shake.
Too soon, the well refilled. Pleasure grew intense. This time, she felt Rodrigo shudder. He swiftly pulled out, the motion breaking another orgasm through her. She felt like the ocean was churning and dragging her deeper. She could barely breathe. All she was aware of was a hot sensation that spilled over the small of her back and dripped down her skin.
Little by little, the pleasure receded. She slouched and let out a heavy breath. Rodrigo held her upright and pulled her into the spray of the shower. He gently wiped off her back before pulling her into his arms.
Lily leaned back into him, sated and tired. As much as she would have liked to cuddle, staying in the shower much longer didn’t seem like a smart idea once she came to her senses. Soon, her skin would dry out and leave her itchy. She reached and turned off the shower.
She thought Rodrigo would grab his clothes and leave her in the bathroom to clean up, but he stayed. He grabbed a towel for her and helped her dry off. If anything, he seemed to enjoy dragging the towel over her skin. It was like an added perk for him, another chance to see her naked.
She laughed and raised her arms to help him. When he finished drying himself, he turned to his clothes. The pants were slightly stained with a few drips of blood, but the too-large shirt was soaked through, already drying into a stiff board.
“I don’t suppose you have a washer in this little apartment?”
Lily shook her head as she wrapped her towel around herself. “Laundry is in the basement. But I might have a shirt for you.”
She ran back to her dresser and yanked open the bottommost drawer. The contents were a mess, some things folded while others had clearly been shoved in as nothing more than an afterthought. She found what she was looking for, grabbed clothes for herself, and returned to the bathroom.
Rodrigo looked at the shirt in her hand with suspicion. Lily’s stomach turned over. Was this some sort of faux pas she didn’t realize she was committing?
“That doesn’t belong to your ex-boyfriend, does it?”
“What? No!” She pushed the shirt at him again. “This is from a concert I went to. It was the only size they had left in stock, but I couldn’t leave without one.”
“Oh,” Rodrigo grunted. He took the shirt, pulled it over his head, and paused at the sight of the musician on the front. “You expect me to wear this?”
Lily’s heart gave a sharp thump before she remembered who she was with. This wasn’t Brock. This was Rodrigo. She didn’t think he’d get angry with her and give her the silent treatment for days over a girl band.
“Would you rather go without a shirt?”
“You know what? I think I rock this.” He pulled at the hem so he could see the cartoonish Pegasus. “Yeah, this is definitely my style.”
Lily cackled and nearly dropped her towel. It reminded her that she needed to put on her own clothes. She had pulled out a bralette, not because he’d mentioned them earlier, but because he was right. They were ridiculously comfy for her. She did pull out the booty shorts for Rodrigo, though, hoping to draw his attention while she wore both.
He’d been hurt. Instead of going to his pack, he came to her. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know how to ask him, either. It seemed like a story they weren’t ready to talk about. Everything was so new, and she was unsure of every step they took, but she was enjoying the journey. She didn’t want to spoil it yet.
***
Rodrigo settled into a chair by the window. He glared at the street below, wondering what the kidnapper was doing. In one hand, he flipped his phone. Top over bottom, over and over again. Lily was sleeping nearby. She’d pushed the standing screen to the side so he could see her. She’d lain on the bed for a while with that pleased grin and watched him, but he had exhausted her in the shower and sleep had quickly come to claim her.
He leaned back and looked around. The apartment wasn’t very large. The one over the bar was larger than Lily’s home. Yet this was filled with evidence of her life. A small, built-in shelf was loaded with as many books possible. The shelf was bowing in the center and stacks of books littered the floor around it.
There was a cork board pinned with badges from bookish conventions she’d gone to, photos of her standing by people he didn’t recognize. Given the books they held in the photos, he assumed they were authors. She looked so happy in all of them.
He almost hadn’t survived the night. It’d been close. If his eyes drifted shut, the darkness brought him back to the shed. He could feel the steel hook digging into his shoulder, the way it pulled as the person tried to drag him inside the shed of death. Terror had gripped him, and his one thought had been of Lily. His beast had dragged him to her doorstep, wanting to see her one last time if he didn’t make it through the night. It’d been a stupid thought. He was a shifter now. Of course, he would heal the wound.
Yet the fear of never seeing her again had terrified him. It was what pushed him to touch her in the shower. He couldn’t help himself. If he didn’t make it through the mission he’d taken on, at least he would know he showed her how much he loved her.
He ran his hands over his face. This was too nice. He was drifting off to sleep in the chair, put at ease by the scent permeating every inch of Lily’s apartment. She smelled like herbs and chocolate crème cookies. It was a strange mix, but so was their relationship.
Tomorrow, he would take her out on a proper
date. He would take her on a hike around the nearby waterfalls. The recent spring rains would make them all the more breathtaking. Then he would buy her dinner. Whatever she wanted.
Not that women liked to pick restaurants. Maybe he could look through her take-out menus to see what she ordered the most. Then he could find the best version of that food in the area.
Before he could get up to search for menus, his phone rang. He thought it’d be Dante or Van looking for him, but the number he saw made his stomach churn. Sourness burned its way up his throat. He looked between his phone and Lily sleeping nearby and felt the world crashing down over his head.
If he ignored the call, it would go to voicemail. He didn’t know how the person on the other end would feel about that. The kidnapper had already issued one threat. Rodrigo had gotten close tonight. He’d heard the kidnapper’s voice, caught his scent. The kidnapper had gotten close to trapping him, too.
It was proof that Rodrigo hadn’t given up his hunt. He hadn’t listened to the first threat.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, he held the phone to his ear. The voice on the other end was the one he’d heard earlier that night. The pain in his shoulder returned, as if the kidnapper was there, attacking him all over again. Rodrigo grimaced and reached for the now-healed wound.
“I thought we had an agreement,” the kidnapper growled. “I shouldn’t have found you snooping around tonight. You know what has to happen now.”
Rodrigo swallowed his beast’s anger, tried to keep it under wraps as he played stupid. “I don’t know what you mean. What agreement?”
There was the sound of something shattering on the other end. A glass. A vase. He didn’t know. “I need to pay your lady friend a visit now.”
“Lady…friend?” It took every bit of his control to keep from tearing his phone in half. As long as Rodrigo pretended his relationship with Lily was over, then maybe there was a chance he could protect her from this maniac. “You mean the redhead? Oh, I don’t even remember her name.”
“That’s…No. Don’t lie to me, mutt. You know the one I’m talking about. The little brunette from the bookstore. I know you liked her.”
Rodrigo kicked the chair back, balancing on two legs. “Ah, her. Yeah, that didn’t work out either. She was crazy. You know how girls can be.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lily stirred. The room was still dark around her. It couldn’t possibly be morning yet, so she didn’t know what could have woken her. Not until she heard a voice in the corner. It was hushed, but familiar. Rodrigo was still here, but he was talking to someone.
She tried not to move as she listened in on the conversation. Each word turned her blood colder and colder until she thought she might turn to ice and crack.
“Do you mean the blonde? I mean, I haven’t seen her in a couple of days, either. What can I say? I’m young and ready to rut. I’m nothing more than a beast.”
Lily didn’t know what to think. She wasn’t a blonde. Her hair was dark. Did that mean Rodrigo had seen other women since their date at the batting cage? Was that why he didn’t answer her texts?
She gripped the blanket beneath her and fought back tears.
After a few moments, Rodrigo hung up the phone. A growl rumbled in his throat. He stood and faced the window, staring out into the night. Lily couldn’t find it in herself to get up and ask questions. She was tired. Oh, so, tired of meaning nothing to anyone.
That must be her lot in life. She would never get the life-altering romance she read about in books. There was a strong possibility that love like that didn’t exist. There were hot bursts of infatuation, powerful chemistry that burned itself out, and the dull fight to stay with someone once it faded into ashes.
Rodrigo turned away from the window. She pressed her eyes shut in a panic and pretended to sleep. Her heart pounded in her ears, but she could still hear the heavy footsteps of his approach.
The floor creaked beneath him when he knelt by the bed. When he touched her hand, she flinched. She hadn’t expected the soft gesture or the way it made her stomach twist.
“I have to leave,” Rodrigo whispered.
She couldn’t pretend to be asleep any longer. Not after the way she’d flinched. She cracked open her eyes but couldn’t look him in the face. It hurt too much. His words still spun around her mind. The other women. How they meant nothing to him.
Like she did.
But he touched her cheek and he was so gentle that she had to look at him. His eyes were filled with pain. It was like he’d lost something, but she didn’t know what he could be mourning. This was not what she expected after what he’d said. It was at war with everything she thought.
She wanted to ask why he would talk like that to someone, but her lips were glued shut. She was too afraid of what the answer might be.
He didn’t say anything, either. Rodrigo left without another word. Only the confusing interaction. She knew her body would feel every inch of their lovemaking in the morning, tormenting her for falling for another man who couldn’t love her the way she desperately wanted. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes and fought back tears as she fell back asleep.
The next day she went out in a numb state. She went to work and smiled at customers without feeling any kind of happiness. Vivian asked her if Brock had reappeared again. He hadn’t, but it made her scroll through Brock’s old messages.
If she couldn’t have a fiery love, then maybe the boring one was worth keeping. At least then she knew what to expect. She knew Brock wouldn’t hold her the way Rodrigo had. She knew he would want other women, but at least she would have a library in their future house where she could burn all her old dreams away.
Chapter Fourteen
Carol looked better. She sat across from Rodrigo, who felt like a bag of ass. The bar was pretty empty. It was too early in the morning for the regular patrons. The only person besides them was an old shifter passed out on a table in the corner. The man’s fingers were still wrapped around the neck of his bourbon bottle as he snored.
They both watched him. Rodrigo never wanted to become that lonely old man, but he could feel that fate creeping up on him. The one woman he wanted was at an arm’s length. He was sure Lily had heard him pretend to be a player on the phone when the kidnapper called. He’d meant to explain everything to her, but when he knelt beside the bed, his heart had shattered.
No words had left him. How could he tell her that his love for her put her in danger?
It didn’t seem right. There was no good way to put it. All he could do was devote himself to this mission and see it through. That meant meeting with Carol after getting no sleep. She was still reluctant to help, but this meeting was a step forward.
Her hair was clean now. It had a light gleam to it and there was some color to her cheeks. Nothing could erase the shadows in her eyes, but the mascara did a good job of distracting from them.
The door opened and Van stepped through, his arms leaden with paper bags. He saw Carol, stopped dead in his tracks, and stared at her. A moment passed, then Van backed out the way he’d come.
“What was that about?”
Carol shrugged. “He’s been weird around me. I don’t see it when he’s interacting with anyone other than me. Do you think…do you think he suspects me of being a traitor?”
Rodrigo stood. “I could ask.”
Carol reached out to stop him, but Rodrigo was already on his way out the door. He could approach Van about his weird behavior, but he couldn’t tell Lily how he felt. It made him hate himself. He was proving to be a useless person. As a shifter, he couldn’t protect his pack. As a man, he couldn’t protect the woman he thought could be his mate.
Van had set his bags down in the back of his truck. Rodrigo watched the man lean forward, hands fisted on the tailgate.
“What’s your problem?” Yeah, that was about as eloquent as Rodrigo was going to be in the moment. Van was the one who was good with words.
He couldn’t manage them,
either. He opened his mouth, gestured to the bar door, and let his hand fall without saying anything at all.
“That definitely explains it. Good talk, bro.”
Van’s brows dropped into a flat line. “I hate you.”
“I realized that when you trapped me in the lock box and Dante had to let me out.”
Van sighed and ran his hand through his long, blond hair. His eyes were on the door behind them, like he was waiting for Carol to appear in the doorway. Finally, he explained himself, voice low like he didn’t want it to carry.
“I go nuts around her. I know she’s not ready for me to drool all over her. Trauma like that needs time to heal, but my beast keeps going apeshit and I don’t know how much longer I can hold it back.”
Rodrigo didn’t know what to say to that. This was the kind of thing that should be brought up with Dante. Not Rodrigo. Maybe Sadie could help. She was a woman. She loved a shifter. The mother of two was a well of wisdom compared to Rodrigo.
His beast shook itself and pushed forward. The only thing on its mind since the night he left Lily’s had been her. The beast had tried to drag him back to her apartment several times. Rodrigo had taken advantage of the lock box most nights. There’d been one where someone else had been locked inside the box and he’d had to manage himself.
He’d done it, but only barely.
All his beast wanted was its mate. Lily was out there, waiting for him.
“That’s rough,” Rodrigo agreed. He knew how Van felt, to a certain degree. He knew what it was like to hold himself away from the one thing his heart wanted more than anything. But that was his heart. He knew his beast wanted her, but so did he. With every bit of his rotten soul.
“Do you think you love her? Or do you just want to hump the newcomer?”
Van looked up, disgusted and confused all at once. “It’s not like that!”
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