After a while like this, pretending to watch the TV, he chanced a glance at the receptionist. She offered him a fond sort of smile, the same you’re-so-cute expression of the woman at the party on Saturday.
“Doctor Kapowski is one of the best,” she called to them. “Your cat’s in great hands. You guys let me know if you need anything. I’ve got coffee and water if you need it.” She pointed at a drink station across the room.
“We’re good,” Zack said. And they were. They’d deal—
Ring. Ring. The front door tinkled as two people came in. Uniformed guy and a tall, overly tan woman in teetering heels carrying one of those tiny, yappy terrier dogs. Then the guy turned, surveying the room, and Zack’s world ended.
Morrison. The medic from his team, and he was looking right at Zack.
Oh shit.
What do I do?
He dropped Pike’s hand before he even realized what he was doing. Pike’s eyes snapped open, hurt flaring there that pierced Zack in the gut. Pike moved away from him, but it was too late.
“Thought that was your truck out there, Nelson.” Morrison’s voice was carefully neutral. “Pet problems?”
“Sick cat,” Zack said carefully.
“My girlfriend’s dog got a thorn in the paw.” Morrison took a chair adjacent to Pike and stuck out his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I’m Mike Morrison, on Nelson’s SEAL team. Didn’t know he had a boyfriend in the area.”
“Pike Reynolds,” Pike said, at the same time that Zack said, “He’s not. Just roommates.”
Morrison’s bushy eyebrows flew upward, twin peaks of disbelief.
“Yup, just friends.” The resignation in Pike’s voice clobbered Zack like a swift right hook to the jaw. “Sorry about your dog, man.”
“Oh he’ll be okay. I just feel bad that I couldn’t fix it myself. Sucker’s really in there.”
“Even you SEALs can’t fix everything.” Pike spoke to Morrison, but his words felt directed at Zack too. “You’re the medic?”
“Yes, sir. Keeping Nelson from killing himself keeps me busy. Wish I’d known about you when we thought Nelson had DCS—I hated seeing him drive home alone.”
Pike glared at Zack at that. “You never told me you were sick.”
“I wasn’t.” Hell. They couldn’t fight like an old married couple in front of Morrison.
“You guys want to grab a drink when we get back from the next training exercise? No idea when that’ll be, but I’d bet end of next week or so. I keep meaning to introduce you to Shelia and some of her friends, and you’d be welcome too, Pike.”
Oh great. Either Morrison had bought his lame-ass excuse and wanted to set him up with single women or he hadn’t and felt sorry for Pike and was going to treat them as a couple. Fuck. No good could come of this.
“You’re going away?” Pike sounded like he was struggling to keep the hurt out of his voice.
“You didn’t tell him we’re going wheels up?” Morrison shook his head like Zack was the biggest dumbass in the world, which he kind of was.
“Mr. Reynolds? The vet wants to talk with you,” the vet tech called from the hallway. “If you’ll come with me?”
“I’ve got to go.” Pike’s eyes were sad, as if he’d already decided that Zack wasn’t following.
“I’m coming with you,” Zack said firmly. He’d already fucked things up with Pike by dropping his hand. No way was he screwing this up too. To Morrison he said, “See you later, man.”
He wanted to warn Morrison not to mention seeing them to anyone else, but he wasn’t sure how to word it that wouldn’t make everything that much worse. Zack hurried after Pike, trying to pretend that he hadn’t left a big chunk of his future there in the waiting room, his fate lying in the talkative Morrison’s hands. Either he was right now texting the gossip around, or he was dreaming up more ways to “help,” neither of which would do Zack any favors. But right then, Zack needed to focus on Pike.
“Sorry,” he whispered as the vet tech led them into another exam room to wait for the vet.
“It’s okay,” Pike said, but his dull eyes said it wasn’t, not really. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“Nice, but he...talks. And the rest of them...” Zack shrugged. “They’re not as nice as him. They’re wouldn’t understand.”
“Think you can keep Morrison quiet?” Voice flat, Pike lowered himself into one of the chairs in the small room.
Fuck. What was Zack supposed to say to that? If he said he hoped so, did he sound like a callous asshole? But if he said he didn’t care, he’d be a liar. Bone weary, Zack took the chair next to him.
Luckily, Doctor Kapowski saved him from himself, bustling back into the room. “Good news! Or at least manageable news—we discovered the culprit. It’s not poisoning. She swallowed something.”
“What?” Zack and Pike said at the same time.
“If I had to fathom a guess, I’d bet it’s a part of a toy, like a bell. We won’t know for sure until we get in there. With your permission, I’d like to operate tonight, then if everything goes well, you should be able to pick her up tomorrow or the next day so she can finish recuperating at home.”
Operation sounded scary and expensive, but recuperate made Zack exhale at the same moment Pike did. “She’s going to be okay?”
“Well, any operation has risks, but yes, I think we caught this in time, and given her overall health, she should make a full recovery. We’ll know the prognosis better after the surgery. Monica will bring you in some waivers to sign for the surgery and explain some of the risks to you.”
“Oh, man,” Pike said to Zack as the vet left, door shutting behind her. He reached for Zack, then stopped himself, tucking his hand back into his lap.
Not letting himself overthink it, Zack grabbed the hand back, held it tight. The worst had already happened. Someone on the team knew. He wasn’t losing Pike too.
Chapter Seventeen
The house seemed strangely empty when Pike entered it after the vet. Or maybe that was his heart. Gizmo came strutting out while they were still removing their shoes in the entryway, his plaintive whines breaking Pike’s heart.
“I know you miss her.” Pike crouched to pet Gizmo’s head. “How about a can of food?”
“Can you get the food?” Zack asked, deep lines on his face that hadn’t been there a few days ago. “I need to make sure all my gear and stuff is ready for when I get the call about going wheels up—call could come at any point.”
“That’s fine,” Pike said, even though nothing was, not really. Not him and Zack. Not Nectarine, who was in surgery even as they spoke. “I’m going to heat up some leftover spaghetti for me. Want me to make a plate for you?”
“Nah. Can’t eat.” Zack finished taking off his boots and hurried down the hall, pausing to toss back over his shoulder, “Thanks, though.”
Like Pike was a stranger offering him food. And it was as sure sign as any that Zack was stewing over the encounter with his friend—Zack never skipped meals, and any other night, he’d be eating his plate and most of Pike’s.
But not tonight.
And maybe not ever again. Hell, that hurt. Just like when Zack had dropped his hand and fumbled the “just friends” line. Pike had known it was coming, eventually. Their cozy little cocoon couldn’t last forever. But he hasn’t expected it to hurt like a severed limb when Zack denied everything they had.
Roger all over again. Except whatever he felt for Roger had been kitten love—two friends rolling around, Pike building illusions in his head. Zack was real. Hell, he’d insisted just two nights ago that they were real. Pike wasn’t wanting a date to the fucking prom, wanting someone to show off. No, he wanted to build a life together. And that probably wasn’t happening. And that cut.
He ate his lukewarm spaghe
tti and halfheartedly poked at his lesson plan for the next day for an hour or so before exhaustion claimed him. A quick call to the vet had the overnight tech telling him that Nectarine had come through the surgery with flying colors. After a huge exhale, he stopped to take a fast shower before heading to his own room. He shut the door. Better get used to sleeping alone again.
But not five minutes after he flipped out the light, there was a knock on the door.
“You awake?” Zack called.
Fuck. It would be so easy to say no or better yet say nothing and let Zack walk away. “Yeah,” he said instead.
“Good.” Zack slipped in the room, not turning on the light, tossing something warm and heavy on Pike’s bed. “Gizmo’s all out of sorts.”
“Gizmo, huh?” Pike sat up to pet the cat, doing his best to ignore the man who hovered near the bed. He figured either Zack would work up to whatever he’d come to say, or he’d leave, but Pike wasn’t in the mood to make things easy on him.
“I had to say we were just friends. I know you don’t get it—”
“I don’t. Morrison seems like a nice guy. Not judgmental. Maybe he could be a friend—”
“It’s not about him.” Zack stopped pacing and sank down on the bed. “There’s this other guy, Cobb. And he’s a homophobic asshole. He’d make my life hell. Makes Harper look downright tolerant, and them and Rodriguez are all gay this and queer that with their jokes.”
“This Cobb, he’s hassled you before?” Pike guessed as he rubbed Zack’s bare shoulder, unable to keep from touching him now that he was talking—really sharing at last.
Pike felt Zack nod.
“Zack. That’s not okay. You need to report it.”
“The US Navy isn’t some ‘you can play’ commercial. This is just how things are on my team.”
“And you’re just, what—going to tough it out? For as long as you’re with this team? That could be a career, right? I mean, you’re going to be deployed with these guys. More than once, right?”
“Exactly.” It was the loudest Zack had ever been around Pike. “Exactly. I’m going to be deployed with them. And I can’t afford a single distraction.”
“So that’s what this is? What I am? A distraction? If you ask me, the real distraction is them harassing you—”
“You. Are. Not. A. Distraction.” Zack toppled Pike backward, loomed over him. “You’re my everything. And I won’t let them have you. Won’t them ruin this.”
“Then tell someone,” Pike begged. “Don’t let those guys win.”
“I can’t.” Zack’s voice broke. “You don’t understand.”
“Guess not.” Pike shoved at Zack’s shoulders. He couldn’t stand this.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Zack didn’t budge.
“Then don’t be so stubborn.” Unable to stop himself, Pike reached up and traced Zack’s jaw with his fingertips. “Please.”
“I wish I knew how to be the man you need. The one you deserve.” Zack leaned into the touch, like one of the cats, looking to soak up the last dredges of Pike’s affection.
“You are.” Pike pulled him down for a desperate kiss. “I need you to believe that.”
Zack kissed him back, and Pike swore he could taste his fear and need and underneath it all, his unwavering affection. Somehow this complicated, confused man had managed to see past all Pike’s jokes and flirtation and see who Pike was inside. Why did it have to be you?
“You like me, don’t you?” Pike whispered against his lips.
“More than,” Zack whispered back. “You. This. Us. It’s everything.”
Pike didn’t trust himself to speak, so he kissed him again, harder this time, biting and sucking at Zack’s lips. Bringing sex into this conversation was a terrible idea, and yet Pike was done talking in circles. Zack wasn’t going to relent. Pike wasn’t ready to push him away. This thing was as doomed as a wet firework, and yet Pike’s body seemed bound and determined to hunt for the spark.
“Ungh.” Zack pulled away long enough to shove the covers aside. Their bare chests met, and they both moaned. Like him, Zack was only in his boxer briefs. Pike yanked Zack roughly until he was settled between Pike’s legs. Shoving his hands down the back of Zack’s boxers, he pulled Zack even closer.
“Too many clothes.” Zack shimmied out of his boxers and tugged Pike’s off with fast, efficient movements. Not raising back up, Zack licked Pike’s cock, nuzzling into his stomach. Fuck. Pike knew exactly what he wanted, and it wasn’t sweet oral. He reached over to his nightstand, grabbed lube and a condom. If this was it, if this was the last time for them, if Zack was about to be called away to God knew where... So many ifs. But this, this could be certain, could give Pike something to feel.
“Want you to fuck me.” Pike pressed the supplies into Zack’s hands. “Now.”
Zack’s sharp inhale was all the answer Pike needed. He flipped over to his stomach. Even in the dark, he wasn’t sure he could deal with Zack face-to-face. The sex was a great distraction, but his emotions were still perilously close to the surface.
To his surprise, it wasn’t Zack’s fingers he felt next but rather the wet swipe of a tongue licking down his spine, over his crack, heading straight for his rim.
“Oh hey, you don’t have to—” Pike wriggled against the sheet.
“Been dreaming about this for days.” Zack returned his attention to Pike’s ass, licking and sucking like a pro, teasing him until Pike was writhing and moaning.
“You’re...quick...study,” Pike gasped. His leg muscles kept tensing involuntarily, body battered by new sensations. He’d been halfheartedly rimmed by a couple of partners, and it had felt nice, but it was nothing like this all-out assault from Zack.
“Fuck. Zack. In me. Now.”
Zack made a noise that sounded like “no,” rubbing Pike’s rim with a slick fingertip instead. Biting at Pike’s ass cheeks, he worked two slippery fingers in. Between Zack’s talented fingers and the drag of the sheet against his dick, the insistent pressure of climax built.
“Now. Now. Please. Fuck me. Don’t wanna come this way. Want you in me,” Pike babbled even as he pushed his ass back to meet Zack’s questing fingers.
Finally, finally, Zack withdrew his fingers and a condom wrapper rustled before Zack rose up over him. But instead of getting Pike on his knees like he’d been expecting, Zack gathered him close, moving him so they were both on their sides.
“Hey, this isn’t... I want—”
“I want this. Want you close,” Zack whispered, lips against Pike’s neck. And fuck, Pike was powerless to deny this man anything. He hooked a leg over Zack’s hip, making it easier for him to press in. It burned—Zack wasn’t tiny, and he hadn’t quite mastered slow, but Pike welcomed the sensation, pushed back into it, willed his body to relax.
Feel me. Feel me. Feel me.
“I do. So hot. All mine.” Zack nipped at Pike’s neck. Fuck. Pike hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but somehow all his emotions were bubbling up and he couldn’t stop it. He pulled Pike’s upper body until they were kissing, the one thing Pike had wanted to avoid, because hell, he ached for it. Wasn’t ever going to be a time when he didn’t need Zack’s mouth, when he didn’t remember exactly how Zack tasted, how he gasped against Pike’s lips as if the sheer wonder of it all was almost too much for him.
Zack shifted again, somehow unerringly hitting Pike’s gland with a swift, deep stroke. Pike reached for his own dick, but Zack batted his hand away. “No. Mine.”
When did you get so perfect at this? Maybe this wasn’t a matter of Zack being some sort of sexual savant. Maybe this was just them and what they could create together. And fuck, that was both the best thing ever and the most depressing thought he’d ever had, because he was going to go the rest of his life and never feel perfection like this again.
Zack’s hand was warm and tight on Pike’s cock, grip mimicking the strokes of his cock deep inside.
“Always gonna need you.” Zack’s lips were against Pike’s ear. “Always.”
But you’re not going to fight for me. Not going to keep me. He’d had no idea that a heart could break even as a body exploded with pleasure, but that’s exactly what was happening—the closer he slipped to the edge, the more desperate he felt, chest aching, whole body straining.
“Don’t leave,” he gasped.
“Oh, babe, I won’t.”
Shattered, Pike cried out. Zack didn’t lie, didn’t break promises, but he was speaking a different language this time. Because he was leaving, was pulling away, wasn’t going to stay.
Zack captured his mouth, tongue delving deeply as his hand and cock sped up. Pike could taste regret, could taste the longing coursing through Zack, the same bittersweet pleasure thrumming in his own veins.
“Oh fuck. Can’t hold back.” Zack’s voice was ragged. “Come with me.”
Even now, Pike could deny him nothing, couldn’t hold back, could only give him everything. His orgasm. His heart. His life. Nothing he wouldn’t offer this man. And for a brief shining instant, Zack took it all, held him though it, met him thrust for thrust, cry for cry, shudder for shudder as they both came. Zack pressed kiss after kiss on Pike’s neck, shoulders and face. Moisture stung his cheeks and he wasn’t sure whether it was Zack or him, and it didn’t really fucking matter. They were both in this thing, both lost.
* * *
The call came early in the morning, when Zack was still getting his uniform on and his stuff together for the day. Pike had an early class that day and was in the shower. Fuck. He had to get to base now, but he wasn’t ready. There was still so much left unsaid between them—he’d slept all night in Pike’s bed, but that morning, it was like Pike had put a wall up, like he was already pulling away. He’d shared the news that Nectarine was resting comfortably and asked if Zack needed the first shower, all considerate roommate and nothing like the guy Zack had held in his arms in the dark of night.
Off Base Page 16