“Who the hell are you?” Kirian asked the small green figure. She held a sword at the little green guy’s throat.
Well, thought Ari, at least it wasn’t all in my head.
The figure made no move to stop Kirian or defend himself, he just kept staring at Ari.
“No, Kirian. Don’t hurt him. Not yet, anyway,” Ari said. “He’s here to communicate with me, or something. I think. Go ahead, little guy. And make it fast, or I’ll let her slice you in half. Trust me, she’s good at it.” She nodded at him. “It would have been more polite of you to give me a little more room to stop so I didn’t turn my knees into bleeding goo.”
“Serves you right,” the figure said. “Soothsayer just wanted to lick you.”
Ari closed her eyes and stared at him with her new ring vision, trying to figure out what his deal was. Then she opened her eyes, looked around and blinked. “Hold on,” she said, wondering if her ears were deceiving her. “I’m sorry,” she said to Kirian and Harry, “but did that little weirdo just say the giant worm wanted to lick me?”
“That’s what I heard,” Harry said, shaking his head. “And ewww. And considering you’re the little green thing being judgy here, how the hell were we supposed to know?”
“Wrong,” Kirian said, edging the blade closer to his throat. “It attacked her, I saw the whole thing. Stop lying.”
Ari stood back up again, examining her bleeding and torn up knees with her flashlight. She wasn’t in the mood to play with new monsters in the tunnel, no matter how small and weird. “You said you’ve come for me. Explain what you meant before I let Kirian lop off your head and throw it next to Soothsayer’s.”
“I didn’t hear him say that,” Harry said.
“Okay, fine,” the little hairy green man said. He wore a blue robe, a gaudy gold necklace, and white bedroom slippers that were sopping wet from the tunnel floor. “The blood. I had to smell your blood to confirm that it was you, Ari.”
“Ew,” Harry said. “I’ve heard of this type of thing before, Ari. You should run away, it never ends well.”
The little green guy shot Harry a dirty look. “I had to confirm that she was truly the Ari who is part-Staar, wearer of the ring.”
Ari held up the ring for him to see. It was glowing. “Fine, yes, I’m me. Who are you and what are you doing here?”
“I’m Vellhorn. Here to show you how to use the ring.”
“Bullshit,” Kirian said. “You’ve just been hanging around this dank tunnel with the worms allowing an alien invasion to take place until Ari came down here?”
The figure nodded. “Time and place are all relative. I have been here waiting and I’ve also been off partying- far, far, from here at the same time.” He looked around with distaste, and he did look very much out of place.
“I thought Fleek was way out there,” Kirian said. “Aren’t we in a hurry? Can’t I kill him? I mean, he did side with the killer glow worms.”
“Okay, tiny tunnel Demon Yoda,” Ari said. “Why should I believe you’re not actually here to kill me, like your pet worms? And how do I know that you even have any idea what’s going on with me and the ring?”
“Prophecy,” tiny tunnel Demon Yoda said with a shrug.
“Kirian, encourage him to get to the point so we can get the hell out of here, please,” Ari sneered.
“Gladly,” Kirian said, bringing her Stingr Sword to the tiny figure’s neck, close enough to draw a little blood. “Look, you little weirdo. Ari’s doing just fine with the ring so far. She restored magical communications, whatever the hell that means and she got it all recharged, so if you’re not going to help us with this alien invasion, then you might as well just get out of our way while you still can.”
The tiny man raised his hands in an overly exaggerated surrender posture. “Look. I’m here to help her, I had to be sure she was the one who was part Staar. How would I know that otherwise? I’ve already wasted too much time in this worthless galaxy. My purpose here has to do with prophecy and such, and besides, I can see the future.” Then, with the tiniest wave of his hand, he threw Kirian across the tunnel.
Kirian landed with a thunk, fifteen feet away in the darkness.
For the first time in her life, Ari reacted instead of thinking. She stepped forward and kicked the little guy in the crotch with her boot.
Tiny Demon Yoda crumpled into a ball.
“Ouch,” Harry said.
“You didn’t see that coming, did ya?” Ari taunted. “If you ever touch any of my friends again, I’ll let her kill you. Got it?”
“I’m all right. Don’t anybody worry about me,” Kirian said from the end of the tunnel.
Tiny Yoda took a few deep breaths. “You cheated. Our people don’t use instinct. It’s considered dirty pool. Maybe you’re not one of us after all.”
“Works for me,” Ari said, walking around him and back toward the hatch. Kirian was up now, and the three of them fell into step quickly.
“Wait,” Tiny Yoda yelled. “I have to help you. It was foreseen. And for the record, I don’t like it any more than you do.”
“Why?” Ari asked, turning around. “Because it sounds like your heart isn’t in it. And now, neither are your balls.”
Kirian sniggered.
“Hey,” Tiny Demon Yoda said. “A prophecy’s a prophecy. My job is to introduce you to the ring and its power.”
Ari looked at Kirian and Harry and shook her head. Then she sighed. “Fine, we’ll try this one more time. You’ve got ten seconds to get on with it. Tell me how the ring works, and then we’ll be on our way. We have better things to do than hang around down here.”
“So do I,” he answered. “But that’s not how it works. You have to understand a little about who you are first. Because apparently you know nothing of your past or our people.”
“Our people?” Ari asked.
“You know you are part-Staar. At least you figured that out. The rest you don’t know because you were abandoned here.”
“Why?”
“For what’s going on now,” Tiny Demon Yoda said as he crossed the distance between himself and the group. “Listen, we saw this coming. Everybody saw this coming. We simply underestimated him.”
“This Devourer?” Ari asked.
Tiny Yoda’s face puckered for a moment. “Yes. We can see the future, well some of us can see the future. It doesn’t work for everybody.”
“Yeah, I get it. I’m a dud,” Ari said. “Go on.”
“Well, we saw a bunch of different outcomes. And we like to cover all of our bases, just in case. So we picked somebody to drop off here.”
“You picked somebody incredible like Ari to leave here for insurance against the end of the world?” Harry asked.
Tiny Demon Yoda shook his head. “We left somebody expendable. As a sacrifice.”
Ari wobbled for a moment. She sucked in a breath. “You do not understand what a big deal I am here. What I’ve accomplished.”
“Yeah. In a galaxy full of idiots,” Tiny Demon Yoda replied.
“Says the guy with the tiny balls,” Kirian said.
Ari pulled out the blaster she had gotten from Harry’s office. “The ring. How does it work? Your inability to get to the point doesn’t speak well to the intelligence of your people. I guess the fact that you’re here with me means you are super expendable too, yes?”
Tiny Demon Yoda’s face turned from green to beet red.
Ari glanced down at the ring and then back to the small, hairy green man. “I notice that you’re not wearing any rings, magical or not.”
“Not the point,” Tiny Yoda said. “I don’t need a magic ring to do magic, do I? I threw your friend across the room, remember?”
Ari’s phone chimed. She checked it. It was an emergency message from Soda. It came in before Fleek got his fractals back. With any luck at all, they were doing a little better. All it did was underscore the need for them to get a move on.
“Time to make a decision, Ari,” he said
.
“What decision, Tiny Demon Yoda?” Ari asked. “I’m getting tired of playing twenty questions with you. My friends are in trouble.”
“Wait,” Harry said, “You keep calling him Demon Yoda, but he looks more like a leprechaun than a Yoda to me.”
“I feel like he’s a tiny Demon Yoda,” Ari answered. “What do you think, Kirian?”
“I don’t know,” Kirian said. “That depends. How lucky do you feel you are, on a scale of like, one to a hundred?”
It was Demon Yoda’s turn to look exasperated. “Yoda, leprechaun, make up your minds. You’re mixing metaphors like crazy people. Here’s the deal, Ari. I’ll tell you everything I know about how the ring works, and in return you owe me a favor, no questions asked.”
“Hey,” Ari said. “You said you were here to help, now you’re trying to blackmail me? And you haven’t helped me in the slightest. Screw that.” She thought about it for a moment. “I got a message saying that military help was on the way, but that was hours ago. If they couldn’t get through, then how did you?” she asked accusingly.
“Magic,” he said.
Ari slapped her own forehead. “You got through when I restored magical communications, whatever that is.”
“Correct,” he said.
“Why blackmail me then?” Ari asked. “Why not just help? Especially since you don’t think very much of me?”
“Good point. He’s been insulting you the whole time,” Kirian said.
“What kind of favor?” Ari asked.
Demon Yoda crossed his arms. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.” He had an eerie gleam in his eyes. It was creepy. “So, do we have a deal or not?”
“You’re really not going to help me unless I promise you a favor?”
“Nope.”
“If it’s a sexual favor, the answer’s no, and I’ll let Kirian kill you.”
“Gladly,” Kirian said, cracking her neck.
“It’s not a sexual favor. Not even close,” Tiny Yoda said, eyeing Kirian warily. “And that’s the only hint you’re getting.”
Ari looked around at Kirian and Harry. “What do you think?” She guessed it might be worth it if he was able to show her how to speed up the magical pairing process. He seemed to know about her, and he managed to get through when nobody else could.
“I don’t know,” Harry said. “He’s not even lucky. But if he wants a non-sexual favor, and that helps us save the galaxy, then so what?”
“Easy for you to say,” Ari said.
“True,” Harry answered. “But this tunnel is really freaking me out, so make your deal with little Yoda or let’s go already.”
Ari hated to admit it, but Harry had a good point. Darduk The Devourer was after her and the ring and the galaxy was under attack. If this guy really is a Staar, then maybe he has valuable information about her past. And her present.
“Well?” Demon Yoda asked, tapping his foot impatiently.
“I’m thinking.” Truth be told, Ari would have rather kicked him in the balls again than make a deal with him, but she appeared to be over a barrel.
Harry got a text. He read it and then looked up at Ari. “They’re here, Ari. They found us. We’re out of time.”
Ari ran to Demon Yoda, knelt down, and grabbed him by the tailored shirt he was wearing. He looked like a well-dressed plush figure. “How do I beat him? This Devourer?”
“That wasn’t part of our deal,” Demon Yoda said. “Our deal is for me to help you with the ring. The rumor is that he needs to eat Staars to survive. So he needs you.”
“Hey, you’re a Staar person too, aren’t you?”
“I’m not really here,” Demon Yoda said.
“Tell that to your balls,” Ari answered.
“Time’s up, like your friend said,” Demon Yoda said.
Ari glanced at Harry and Kirian. Then she screamed in frustration. Apocalypse did make for odd bedfellows. “Fine. You awful, annoying, tiny little green Demon Yoda.” She let him go. “But you better be a lot more help moving forward than you have been until now.” She frowned at him. “What’s in it for you?”
“What do you mean what’s in it for me?” little Yoda asked. “I get a favor.”
Harry interrupted, “Ari, we have to go. Regal’s being overrun. I think your Devourer pal’s here too.”
“You can only collect on your favor if this galaxy isn’t destroyed and if I’m not eaten.”
Ari could tell by the smug look on his face that there were things he wasn’t telling her. Lots of things. But now wasn’t the time. “Let’s go,” she said to Kirian. She ran and then looked back where Demon Yoda still stood.
“What are you doing?” Ari asked. “We have to go. You’re with us now, right?”
“I don’t go running around places. I told you, I’m not really here in the strictest sense. I’ll be popping in here and there.”
“Argh!” Ari yelled again. She got to the hatch ladder and paused. “What’s the first lesson, or tidbit, or nugget you have to help me with the ring? You owe me that at least.”
“Be careful,” Demon Yoda yelled back. “There will be some, uh, physical side effects the first day you put on a magical ring that powerful.”
“Ari!” Kirian yelled from the top of the hatch.
“One last question,” Ari said. “After all of this, if I survive, can I take it off and go back to the way I was?”
“You can cut it off. And that’ll probably work. But only until you ask the ring for something and it complies. After that, you either pair with it, or you lose.”
16
Ari popped up out of the tunnel hatch into the hallway. Immediately, she knew it was too quiet. Too quiet, except for the sound of humming on both sides of her. The ghost drones had found her. They were surrounded. Again.
“Staar person, you will come with us,” they said, in a Dalek-like monotone.
“Nope,” said Ari. She stretched out her non-magic-ring hand toward the ghost drones. When she had done that at the chessmen, it had removed their force field, allowing Kirian to kill them.
She hoped that this time her non-ring-magic would have a similar effect. It didn’t.
The effect it had was to topple all the ghost drones to the left like bowling pins. Ari frowned. Huh. Didn’t see that coming. She turned to the right and did the same thing. It worked again. There was ensuing silence. For a moment, she actually felt cocky. Then she wobbled and everything went black.
“What did you do, Ari?” Kirian asked. “Was that the ring?”
Ari heard Kirian’s voice as she was going down.
“Ari!” Kirian yelled. The next thing Ari knew, Kirian was helping her up. “Are you going to pass out every time you use your magic? And if so why don’t you just use the ring? Or will that make you pass out too?”
“I think it’s the Staar stuff and not the ring stuff. And I have no idea if the ring magic will make me pass out. Where’s Demon Yoda when you need him? Oh yeah, Demon Yoda said using the ring would have physical side effects. Of course, he listed none of the specifics.”
“Good to know,” Harry said, walking over to the felled ghost drones on the left. He kicked one tentatively, pointing one of his laser pistols at it. Then he inspected another. “Hey, Ari. Their eyes are still glowing. I have a feeling that you only stunned them.”
“Okay,” Ari said. “Harry, where’s your surveillance center? Do you still have all of your cameras up and running? I want to know where that Devourer thing is at all times. If we have enough information, then maybe we can sneak up on him instead of the other way around.”
“Great idea,” Harry said.
The ghost drones on the left hummed again, but they weren’t yet moving. Luckily, Harry led them to the right. “Hurry, I think they’re waking up.”
The three of them ran down the hallway. Once they were past the area with the hatch opening, there were only a few of the ghost drones, scattered randomly here and there. Kirian took care of them ea
sily. That is until Ari stopped to think about it.
“Wait,” she said. Although it was a metaphorical wait because none of them slowed down. “Why were all of those ghost drones right there waiting for us when we came up the tunnel ladder?”
“Good question,” Kirian said. “Do you have an answer or are we playing interesting hypothetical questions while running for our lives?”
“I think they’re tracking me,” Ari said.
That made Harry stop in his tracks. “I think you’re right. There were none of them when I came up from the tunnel. Then Kirian came up. Then, by the time you poked your head up, they were everywhere.”
“Sticking to the plan,” Kirian said. She got the group moving again, at the risk of her pointed sword. “Keep moving. To the surveillance Center.”
“Okay,” Ari said, running again.
Kirian chopped down several more ghost drones, which made a whining sound when they were hit the ground.
“But I can’t stay in the surveillance center. Wherever I stay, those things will mass. I’ll need to keep moving.”
“We’re almost there,” Harry said, he was out of breath. “This could still work. I’ll give you and Kirian earbuds so you can hear me. I’ll stay and use the cameras to direct you guys into and out of trouble.” They arrived at the door. “It’s only a temporary plan, Ari. We can only play cat and mouse for so long with this many things out to kill us. You’re going to have to come up with something better.”
“I know,” Ari said. They all piled into the Regal surveillance center.
“Is there a backdoor out of this place?” Kirian asked. “The ghost drones will mass soon if Ari’s here.”
“Yes,” Harry said. “But first, help me bolt and secure this front door so I don’t have to worry about any of them sneaking up on me.”
Kirian and he went to work.
“Hey, Demon Yoda!” Ari yelled. “Get your ass back here.” She waited a moment. “Please?”
He appeared, sitting in the comfy chair in front of the displays. “I’m a magical being, not a genie, Ari.” He reached a hand out to touch some buttons.
Ari slapped his hand. “Stop that, you don’t understand what you’re doing.”
Overlord Alliance: Book 2 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series Page 10