by Eve R. Hart
Now that I’d learned her whole name, I had no idea what to call her. I’d been calling her Dya all along and it seemed to fit her. I liked it. It was different, just like her.
“Thanks,” I mumbled before he slipped out the door. “So, tell me what I’ve missed,” I said deciding to jump in head first.
I knew in my heart that I could never completely turn away from my club. I figured after I had all the info, I could make my next move and decide what I was going to do about Dya. I wasn’t ready to walk away from her, but it sounded like the club was about to get into deeper shit and that meant things would be even more dangerous. Not that I didn’t think she could handle it. She was strong and apparently a damn killer. I just worried about putting her in the middle of all the club shit and I didn’t want anything to ever happen to her.
While I was gone, Cal had a meeting with the Russians from down on the coast where Savage had taken up residence and another MC from South Carolina. He’d been stocking up on guns and was formulating a plan to take Savage down. The big problem was, we still knew nothing about where his compound was located or what it was like on the inside. We didn’t even have a head count of all the members. Word was, he’d been upping his men, taking in anyone who even seemed interested. That was good and bad. It showed he was desperate but also it meant more bodies to stand in the way of the bigger target.
Either way, the situation seriously sucked. This was one of the hardest things I’d seen the club go up against my entire life. I wondered how many of us would make it out alive and the shame set in that I wouldn’t be there alongside my brothers when the time came. Was I a coward because I was half ready to turn my back on the club? Was I an asshole for not being there for them when so many times they had proved that they’d be there for me for anything?
“You good?” Loch asked shaking me out of my thoughts and it was then that I realized they were all waiting for me to say something.
“Yeah,” I grunted. “Tell me what you need and I’ll be there. But let me make one thing clear, Dya stays. I get that I have no right to demand things in your chapter,” I said turning my attention to Brass and attempting to speak my peace as calmly and respectfully as possible. “She saved my damn life more than once and I can’t just fuckin’ send her on her way with nothing. She left everything back there to bring my ass here and I wouldn’t feel right to toss her out on hers. And let’s all fucking face it, I like the woman, and I don’t like many women.”
Diesel let out a low chuckle and Axe huffed out what could be considered a laugh from him.
“If she’s gotta go then I go too. I’ll come back when it’s time, but I won’t stay here without her.” I pressed my lips together having said all that I needed to say.
“Brother, you can barely get out of bed. Where the hell do you think you’re gonna go?” While Loch had a point, I didn’t care one bit at that moment. I’d make it work, one step at a time and probably cursing and hating it the whole time.
There was a knock on the door right before it swung open. There she stood with Bocca close behind. The fucker actually grinned at me when I threw him a hard look. Then my eyes shifted to Dya, and when her expression turned soft as I met her eyes, I knew I’d made the right decision. There was no way I could give her up. Not for anything.
Behind the softness in her eyes, I could sense a deep worry. I wanted to talk to her about things but I wanted to do it when we were alone. Not that I was trying to keep things hidden from my brothers, I just knew she would open up more if we didn’t have an audience.
Not to mention that I loved our private moments together, the minutes that were just ours. I would take as many of those as life would allow. Because it was those moments where we let go of our hard exteriors and let our souls shine for one another. Cheesy as fuck it sounds, I know, but that was the truth.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Nadya
I found a quiet corner and called Lucy, knowing full well that I had eyes on my every move. And that was fine as long as they couldn’t hear me. They weren’t going to let me out of their sights because they didn’t trust me, and I couldn’t blame them for that.
“It’s me,” I said when I heard that she’d picked up but stayed silent.
“Oh, thank God,” she breathed out. I knew she’d be worried about me but it wasn’t like I could have done anything about it before now.
“You really doubt me?” I tried my best to laugh but in all honesty, I had resigned myself once I’d decided to tell the truth. Death could still come, I wasn’t dumb enough to believe that it would all be okay.
“True. You just…you know, I worry.” And I did, even though it was completely unnecessary for her to. “So what happened?”
“Noah was shot but he’s fine. They had me locked away in the basement for awhile, which I can’t blame them for. I told them everything and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here,” I said trying to plan my next move. “I get the feeling I’m not welcome here.”
I had nothing. No clothes. No money. Fuck, I didn’t even have my bike and the thought that I’d left it behind pained me. Damn, I loved that ride. I could only hope that nothing had happened to her.
“You’re going to leave him?” she asked with a bit too much shock in her voice. Like it was the most unfathomable thing ever.
I had no choice. If he wanted to stay and I wasn’t allowed to, then there was nothing I could do but go. But then again, he did tell me he loved me, in front of people, no less. I wasn’t used to all this emotional shit and I had no idea where that left me. Emotions were too unpredictable and that was why I had done my best to push mine down all my life.
“Yeah, if I have to. I just need to somehow make my way back to my bike.”
“Um…” she said and then got quiet, the kind of quiet that told me she wanted to say something but didn’t know if she should. Maybe it was best if she didn’t, the longer I was left in the dark, the better my life would be.
But, I was wrong.
So, fucking wrong.
Because the next words out of her mouth stopped my fucking heart. And I won’t lie, my eyes became watery as fuck.
“His son is alive,” she whispered like it was the world’s most sacred secret.
I couldn’t form words. I couldn’t even form a coherent thought. This changed everything and I wondered who else knew. Were they in there telling him now? Had Noah known all along? Fuck, maybe it was all a game. Maybe they knew the truth the whole time and it was all an act to make Savage think that Noah’s son was really dead? Was I the pawn all along?
No, I wouldn’t let myself believe that. I saw him. I watched Noah break, night after night, second after second. The drinking, the lost look in his eyes, the way he teetered on the edge, that was all real. But then I wondered if he really meant it when he told me he loved me. See, emotions fuck you up!
I drew in a deep breath and let it all fall away. In my heart, I knew what was true and I wasn’t going to go down some sort of weird, head spinning roller coaster. Nope, I was too smart for that shit. So, when he said he loved me, I knew he meant it and all it took was one look into his eyes to tell me it was the truth.
“Did you hear me?” Lucy said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I supplied with a short tone. “You sure? You better be fucking sure about that!”
“Yeah, I am. I wouldn’t mess with you or him like that. I can’t tell you too much right now because it will put others in danger. But, I know someone got the little boy out before the bombs went off. He’s in a safe house with one of Tank’s sisters.” By her tone, I knew that she was telling the truth.
There was something under the surface of her words. Something that she couldn’t tell me, but I understood it all too well. There were plays being made even as we spoke. There were things currently being set in motion. And I had no doubt, it had everything to do with the devil, Savage, himself. I could only pray that it was a move to take him down.
&nbs
p; “Where?” I said, the words ripping from my throat low and gravelly.
“I can’t…”
“You fucking will.” I’d never once talked to her like that and though I hated it a bit, I needed answers. “I’m taking him to see his son,” I said through gritted teeth, trying to keep my voice down because I couldn’t risk anyone else overhearing. My words left no room for arguing.
“I’ll get it and let you know. Do your best to make sure you aren’t followed.” Then she hung up.
I could tell by her tone that her feelings were hurt, and it wasn’t that I didn’t care at all, it was that I cared about Noah more. Sure, that may have been shitty of me, considering that I’d known her longer and she’d been there to help me through so many things. Even if it was the boring parts of any given day, she was there. But this was the man’s son. A son that he thought was dead. She couldn’t expect to drop a bomb on me like that and have me stand down.
Now all I had to do was wait. I dropped my hand down, still clenching the phone too tightly. My head hit the wall behind me as I let out a long breath.
When did things get so mixed up? Oh, yeah, when I fell for my fucking target. I couldn’t deny it now and hearing him tell me how he felt made my stupid heart flutter.
What that meant for us? I had no idea, which was bugging the crap out of me. I liked answers and right now I had none at all.
It seemed like forever that I stood there, waiting for whatever meeting they were having to be over. The door opened and out walked the guy with the bright eyes and long blonde hair. Bocca, I recalled. I sagged with disappointment as he closed the door behind him. His eyes searched the space and landed on me. With a chin lift, he headed in my direction. I readied myself for whatever he had to tell me.
“It will be a little while longer,” he said and I saw a weird softness in his eyes. It was almost like he regretted having to say those words to me. I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, when in fact, I found that I actually ached to see the big guy. “Um, you want something to eat? I know you haven’t eaten anything since you’ve been here, you must be hungry, right?”
Though I’d been in many situations where food would sometimes have to wait for days, I was hungry enough to admit that I could eat. So, I gave a short nod and kept my lips pressed tight.
I followed him through the building until we came to a huge kitchen with a nice black and gray granite top island. The place was spotless and everything was put away in an orderly fashion. There were two huge gas stoves, each complete with six burners and a grill top in the middle. Damn, these guys lived large. It shocked the shit out of me.
Bocca gestured for me to take a seat on the far side of the island where there were a few stools tucked neatly under. I watched him as he went to one of the two—yes, two—massive, stainless steel refrigerators. He came back with a wrapped, premade sandwich, a bottle of water, and two beers.
I had reservations about the sandwich, I wasn’t stupid and I always thought the worst in every situation. Work hazard and all. But I could tell that these guys wouldn’t poison me. These guys seemed more like a torture then slowly kill kinda group. I could respect that.
“You probably won’t take my word for it, but it’s not poisoned,” Bocca said like he had read my damn mind, or perhaps my face. Yeah, my face may have given me away. I imagined the way I was eyeing the damn thing while debating everything in my head was a dead give away. Funny how it all came full circle. I had pretty much said the same thing to Noah the first time I’d fed him.
I held back a sigh as I thought about him. My time with him was limited and I started to feel a heaviness in my gut.
“Thanks,” I said as I opened the wrapper and took a huge, unladylike bite as Bocca sat down, leaving an empty stool between us, his body angled towards me.
I opted for the water over the beer. One wouldn’t have incapacitated me but I didn’t want to have even the smallest thing clouding my head.
“So, how come you didn’t…you know…kill him?” Bocca asked after I’d taken a few more bites. Pausing to collect my thoughts, I put down my food.
“I couldn’t,” I said looking him dead in the eyes. It was that simple.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched me. Then he tipped his beer back as if the answer I’d given had been good enough.
“I take it he told you about his son?” I nodded twice, the feeling of guilt rising up to slap me in the face. I couldn’t tell anyone what I knew, not just yet. “You know Savage was behind it?” Again, I nodded.
“But in all fairness, I knew none of this when I took the contract. And it was for anyone who happened to walk into that cabin. It wasn’t specifically for Noah.” Not that saying that was going to make the situation any better. I didn’t miss the slight twitch of his eye at me using Noah’s real name.
“You know, he’s had a shit life when it comes to the love department. He doesn’t easily trust women outside of his family,” Bocca said pinning me with a look. “Or at all really.”
“Look, I get that the situation is really messed up. I just wanted to know that he was alive and okay. Now that I do, you can off me,” I said with no fear in my voice. I’d come to accept my fate the last few days. Bocca’s eyes went wide and it confused me for a moment. That look said it all, they weren’t going to kill me but I didn’t understand why. Strange, but I’d take it. I had betrayed them, plotted against one of their own, but they were going to let me walk. “Or, I can walk out that door and never look back,” I said, seeing as I knew that was probably the only other option for me right then.
Bocca’s bright eyes lit up with surprise as he looked at me. He had the thickest lashes I’d ever seen on a man and it only made his eyes pop more. He brought his hand up and rubbed his pointer finger along his bottom lip line.
“You saved his life to just walk away?” he asked like he couldn’t understand it.
“If I have to, that is what I will do,” I held my head high, letting him know that I meant those very words.
It wasn’t that I wanted to, it was more that I was willing to do whatever I had to do to keep him safe, keep him happy. If I left, he could go on with the life he deserved. He could stay with his club and his brothers or whatever and he could go back to his mom and his sisters. And maybe, once I told him about his son, he could go back to the life he had. One, I imagined, was full of laughter and happiness. One where I didn’t fit into.
“Hmm.” Was all I got in response, though I could tell Bocca was thinking things he wanted to say.
For a moment I wondered what this guy’s story was. He seemed to have a lot of answers floating around in his eyes but he also seemed at war with himself about all of that. I decided it was best not to push him, if he wanted to tell me then he would. Maybe I was better off not knowing what he was thinking.
“Let’s get back,” he said rising to his feet. “I’m sure they are going to want to talk to you.”
I tossed my trash in the big can by the door and held onto the rest of my water. Then I followed him back the way we came, eyes of men I didn’t know staring me down the entire way. But I held my head high and shoulders back, I had never been intimidated by what people thought about me and I wasn’t about to start now.
The moment Noah’s eyes met mine, I knew it was going to be hard to leave the big guy. He lit up like the sun and I hated that I was going to have to dim that light. It wasn’t my choice, it was just the reality of the circumstances that surrounded us. Even if I was allowed to stay here with him, we would never work out. The future held different things for both of us. But that didn’t matter because, by the tense atmosphere of the room and the looks that were shot my way, I knew my time was up in one way or another.
“Listen, sweetheart, you seem like a badass bitch, so I’m not gonna sugar coat it for you. Figured you’d respect that,” the older guy with longer hair said. I looked down at his cut and saw he was wearing a president’s patch with the name Brass above it. My eyes looked
back at him and I nodded, respecting what he’d said. “My boys don’t know you and given the situation, they don’t trust ya. But seems like this big lug here won’t stay if you can’t. Kinda puts me in a bind, seein’ as he is really in no condition to go frolicking in the daises.”
I snorted at the visual image he’d put in my head. A ghost of a smile twitched on Brass’ lips and I felt myself relax a bit, even if it didn’t show. I got the sense that he wasn’t happy with what he was about to have to do, and the war raging behind his eyes told me that he hadn’t completely made up his mind on what exactly it was that he was going to do.
“It’s late, and I’m sure you ain’t got any money or anything. I may be a hardass, but I wouldn’t throw a woman out with nothing in the middle of the night.” He scratched his cheek with the back of his thumb, the noise of his nail scraping over his scruff filled the silent space as I waited for him to go on. “Fuck, we’ll just figure this shit out in the morning.”
“Thank you,” I said swallowing down my pride.
“Sure thing, babe.” He gave me a short nod then took off for the door. “Bocca, looks like your sleeping in the hall,” he called out before he rounded the corner out of the room.
Bocca’s shoulders fell as he shook his head. I wasn’t bothered by having a watchdog. I understood it and it wasn’t like I was going to do anything to break what little trust I may have had there.
“Out of curiosity, how many weapons are you carrying?” Bocca asked and an amused smile danced on his lips.
“Just weapons or do you want me to humor you?” I asked raising a brow at him. He let out a laugh as a charming as hell smile split his face.
“Humor me, doll,” he said.
With a shrug, I started with my boot, pulling out a razor blade hidden in a cutout part on the inside part of the heel, right where it met the sole. Setting it down on the bed, I moved on. The inside of my boot had a part of the liner that had been ripped away and tucked inside held a metal pipe no bigger than a pencil that was cut at an angle on one end and sharpened to a point. Tossing that on the bed, I reached behind me with my other hand. Carefully sliding my fingers in between my belt and pants, I pulled out a butterfly knife. It made a clink that seemed to echo in the room as I added it to the pile. With a slight smirk and my eyes deadlocked on Bocca, I slid my hand under my shirt and up to the front of my bra. His eyes widened a bit as he tried to keep his gaze on mine. I pulled out my three-inch pocket knife that had been nestled between my breasts.