by Clare Lydon
“Looks to me like you’re doing an amazing job. Single parents can be great parents, too. I know that now.” Eden kissed Heidi’s fingers, before turning to face her. “I’m sorry again for falling apart on our Sunday morning. I haven’t freaked you out, have I?”
Heidi shook her head. “I’m glad you can be honest with me. But I meant what I said, too. You could be great with kids.”
“I’m not sure about that.”
“I am.” Heidi rolled on top of Eden, kissing her lips. “What about relationships? You think you might want to give this one a go? Push your limits further than they’ve been pushed in a while?”
Eden looked up into her eyes, all thoughts of anything or anyone but Heidi having now evaporated. “When you’re lying on top of me naked with your thigh pressed between mine, I’d agree to anything.” She paused, licking her lips. “All I can tell you is this is a first. Me telling someone about my mum and my gran, so you’re doing well.” She really was. Heidi had broken down Eden’s defences. That was the biggest hurdle of all.
“Glad to hear it. But if I wasn’t pinning you to my bed, would you have already run out the door?”
Eden gave her a slow grin. Heidi was already reading her far too well. “The more pressing question is, what about Dusty? I can handle Maya, but can you handle her?”
Heidi let out a bark of laughter that made Eden’s heart sing. “Industrial-strength allergy pills and a whole lot of exposure is the only way forward on that one. Maya comes with me. Dusty comes with you. I don’t have a choice really, do I?”
“You always have a choice.”
Heidi leaned down till their noses were touching. “Do I? Then I choose you.”
Chapter 30
Eden shouted something at Heidi from the bedroom, but she couldn’t hear. She had the radio on, currently blasting out the UK’s number one. Heidi knew every word. Which, of course, was mainly down to Maya. She’d been amazed at the amount of toddler activities that used the latest pop songs as their soundtrack. Heidi had gone from being an old-school indie kid who loved PJ Harvey and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to knowing all the latest hits. She had to admit, some of them were pretty catchy.
But whatever was on the radio today, it couldn’t be louder than the song in her heart, which was deafening her with its relentless up-tempo beat. Eden had put the needle on it, and now Heidi was walking on sunshine.
They’d spent the morning getting to know each other’s bodies better. Heidi was going to ache in places she’d forgotten existed tomorrow. The last 24 hours had been a ride. Yes, it had a false start, but they’d rectified it. Eden had cooked a delicious dinner, and they’d eaten it at midnight, on the sofa, staring at each other with dreamy grins.
They’d connected in a way Heidi didn’t remember doing with anyone for years. Literally, years. Eden had also opened up about her past. When it came to relationships, children and families, Eden was a mass of doubt. Heidi represented all three. Had she done enough to convince Eden to try the very things she was scared of? And if she hadn’t, what then?
She tried to steer her mind back to the wonderful, wild sex, but it kept coming back to the chat. She was allergic to Eden’s cat. Eden was allergic to family and relationships. Nothing but exposure and time were going to heal either issue, although one could be solved with pills. The other? If only it was so easy.
She wasn’t going to think about it now, though. They had two hours before her parents returned with Maya, and she was going to enjoy her final moments with Eden before she made her getaway. When Heidi had mentioned her parents were turning up, Eden had gone very green and said she had to get home. Heidi didn’t blame her. Meeting anyone’s family was stressful, even when you didn’t have family issues.
As she put the third scoop of ground coffee into her French press, Eden appeared. Her hair was still wet from the shower. She was dressed, too, which caused a swarm of disappointment inside Heidi. Eden naked was her new favourite dish. To eat, to touch, to stare at. Her favourite thing? Eden’s bum, which was surprisingly firm. Heidi had joked she could probably bounce pound coins off it.
“Hey gorgeous. Coffee?”
“Yes please, goddess of caffeine.” Eden walked over and nuzzled her neck. “I missed you in the shower.”
Heidi turned, kissing her lips. “You had enough of me this morning. I think you can cope.”
Eden gave her a grin and sat at her breakfast bar. “What are you whipping me up for breakfast?”
“I wasn’t expecting you, remember? I don’t have anything fancy. How does scrambled eggs on toast sound? I can do you Chocolate Delight on toast, but I’m guessing you already ate enough of that last night.”
A wicked cackle. “I was still washing it out of my crevices this morning.” Eden turned up her sexy smile. “But scrambled eggs on toast sounds perfect.”
Heidi got the carton of eggs out of the fridge, then put the coffee pot on the table, along with two mugs. Eden pulled her into her lap as she walked back to the kitchen. “Or I could just have you on toast.”
“I don’t spread very well,” Heidi replied.
“I disagree.”
Heidi’s laughter echoed round the room, just as the doorbell rang. She kissed Eden, then held her at arm’s length. “Let me just get that. I’m expecting a package, and they deliver on Sunday now, don’t they?” She walked to the door with joy bubbling up inside her. Eden’s hands on her body had that effect.
However, when Heidi opened the front door, the joy lodged in her throat, closely followed by dread and fear. Because her mum was standing there, carrying what looked like a tray of fairy cakes.
“Morning.” Her mum didn’t wait to be invited in, breezing past her like she owned the place. A waft of her geranium perfume hit Heidi’s airwaves. However, its usual comforting sense wasn’t there this morning.
Heidi couldn’t formulate the words in time to stop her. “Mum, hang on!” Her voice had gone up at least an octave. But just as those words were out, her dad’s voice carried through the air, something about going straight to the door. Then Maya ran up the garden path, a beaming smile on her face. Just for a second, Heidi forgot the impending disaster that was about to unfurl.
Maya held out her arms. “Mummy!” Her smile was infectious.
Heidi bent down and picked her up, breathing in her scent. Sometimes Heidi longed to have a break from her, but she was always pleased to see her when she came back. She couldn’t imagine there being a time when that was any different. But it hadn’t been the case with Eden’s mum, had it? Clutching her daughter now, she couldn’t imagine how much that must have hurt.
Which brought her mind back to Eden. Currently in the kitchen, which her mother was heading towards.
Fucking hell.
Heidi turned and sprinted, with Maya still in her arms. Her daughter gave a squeal of delight at this turn of events, wrapping her arms around Heidi’s neck.
Too late.
When Heidi arrived in the kitchen, Eden was standing like she was about to be inspected in an army line-up, hands by her side, her face sheet-white.
Meanwhile, her mother turned to Heidi, giving her a look Heidi couldn’t decipher. She didn’t stop to ponder, diving straight into damage-limitation mode. For Eden, not for her mum.
“Mum, this is Eden.”
If Heidi had to pick an emotion to ascribe to her mother, she’d pick mild amusement. Her mum was enjoying this, wasn’t she?
“Eden.” Her mum walked to the kitchen counter and put down the cake box. Then she approached Eden, holding out a hand. “Pleased to meet you, dear. Sorry to interrupt your breakfast. I know we’re a little early, but Heidi’s dad has some stuff to do at the allotment and he wanted to make a start.” Her mum was still shaking Eden’s hand.
Eden visibly tensed and took a step back, her face set to freaked. This wasn’t going well.
Maya wriggled in Heidi’s arms and she put her down. She ran over to the counter and pointed up at the Chocolate Delight. “S
pread!” Maya’s voice was demanding. “Choc-lit spread!”
Heidi avoided Eden’s gaze as her cheeks heated. Damn her bodily responses. A vision of licking that spread from Eden’s pussy last night landed in her eyeline, and she closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Eden was giving her a flushed stare. Was she thinking the same thing? Or was she thinking this situation was exactly what she was trying to avoid? Heidi had no idea. They hadn’t reached the mind-reading stage yet.
Right then, her dad walked in, putting his car keys in his pocket. “Have you got a visitor parking permit, Heids? I know what they’re like around here.” He stopped when he saw Eden, freezing in place. “Oh, hello. Didn’t know you had company.”
“And I thought we said two o’clock.”
“We sent you a text.” Her mum raised an eyebrow. “But maybe you were too busy to read your phone.”
Oh god, please make this stop. Heidi glanced at Eden, who was rubbing her hands, looking around the room. Perhaps she was looking for an exit? She wasn’t going to find an easy one.
“I’m Heidi’s dad, Robert.” That was to Eden.
Eden shook his hand, giving him a pained smile. “Eden. Nice to meet you.” It wasn’t the most sincere greeting Heidi had ever heard, but she couldn’t really blame her. Eden had laid out her family fears. And now, here they were. Standing in the kitchen in three-dimensional Technicolor.
“Spread!” Maya stamped her feet.
If she went into one of her recent funks that had started to creep in, Heidi was going to demand a do-over of this day. Well, perhaps not the first few hours, but definitely the past ten minutes. Didn’t she deserve a break? Why weren’t the gods of love smiling down on her?
“Mummeeeeeeeeee! Choc-lit!”
Heidi threw Eden an apologetic look, then went over to the counter, putting the Chocolate Delight in the cupboard to take it out of Maya’s sightline.
Big mistake.
Maya’s lip trembled. Heidi picked her up to offset what might be coming. Heidi was the lynchpin in this situation, the manager of this moment. And yet, every single part of this conundrum needed her full attention. Eden, her parents, Maya. She couldn’t split herself in three, no matter how hard she wanted to.
As if on cue, Maya flung herself backwards like she was in training for the Olympic gymnastics squad and began to wail. Not in a cute way. But in that particular way that made grown adults cover their ears and wince.
Just like now.
“Choc-lit!”
Heidi blew out a breath, trying to placate Maya, but it was too late. She’d been warned by Meg and Kate that two-year-olds were drama queens, but she was just beginning to appreciate just how much. The last few weeks, Maya had been in training, but now, it was opening night. She wasn’t going to let anybody down. Her screams filled the air.
This was so not how she’d wanted her parents to meet Eden. And it certainly wasn’t how she’d wanted this time with Eden to end.
“I should get going, I’ve got a bunch of stuff to do.” With that, Eden was on the move, almost sprinting to get to Heidi’s bedroom, away from prying eyes. Great. So now she had a toddler freaking out about chocolate spread and a lover freaking out about family. She’d look back and laugh one day. Maybe.
“Choc-lit!” Maya sobbed, kicking her legs, waving her arms, almost choking on her words and tears.
Eventually, Heidi’s mum sprang to her rescue, taking Maya from Heidi’s arms. “Go and see to your guest, I think we might have spooked her.” She paused, grappling with her granddaughter. “Stop being so silly, Maya. You can have a cake soon if you’re good.”
“No! Want choc-lit!”
Heidi left her catastrophising daughter to it, running to her room and to Eden. If she’d been child-free, there’s no way her mother would ever have been anywhere near her front doorstep the morning after the night before. But as Meg and Kate had told her, having a baby was like dropping a bomb on your normal life and your relationship. The challenge afterwards was to see how you coped putting your life back together again, because it could never be the same as before. She’d smiled when they’d told her that, but now she knew it was nothing but the truth.
They almost crashed into each other at the bedroom door, where it had all started last night. Heidi held out her hands to stop the on-rushing Eden. Damn, she was keener than Heidi had thought to get out of there.
“Hey.” She put a hand on Eden’s shoulder.
Eden almost shook it off.
Heidi cast her eyes down, then exhaled a long breath. “I came to see how you are.”
In the kitchen, Maya was still wailing. Heidi tried to carry on as if it wasn’t happening. “I’m sorry about my family just crashing the party, but that’s my family.” She shrugged, knowing it was true. But also knowing it was completely the wrong thing to say.
However, she couldn’t second-guess everything she was going to say when it came to her family. They were what they were: infuriating, annoying, wonderful, her rock. They were her family, and they weren’t going anywhere. But could Eden handle that? Was she going to let a Maya meltdown railroad them?
“It’s fine,” Eden replied.
There was that word again. So innocent, and yet, so loaded.
“But I really should go. Leave you to sort out Maya and your parents.”
“You don’t have to run. You could still stay for breakfast.” It wasn’t the most alluring offer, but it was all Heidi had.
Eden was already shaking her head. “I was going anyway. You can cook me scrambled eggs another time.”
Heidi stepped a little closer. “I hope so.” She pressed her lips to Eden’s. Heidi felt the push and pull of Eden’s fight or flight. But in the end, Eden kissed her back. It was short, and not all that sweet, but it was a kiss. Heidi would take that for now. She pulled back, searching Eden’s eyes. For what, she wasn’t sure.
She sighed, moved her mouth left, then right, then took Eden’s hand. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
Heidi tugged her down the corridor, loving the feel of her hand in hers. Not wanting to let go, but knowing she had to.
Damn her parents and their timing. Of course she hadn’t checked her fucking phone. She’d been too busy having sex.
They stopped at the door of the main space, hovering. Maya was still screaming, Heidi’s mum now sitting with her on the sofa. Maya was lying prone, her face tear-strewn, her legs still pumping. When she got an idea in her head, her daughter was stubborn as hell. Heidi had no idea where she got it from.
Eden raised an awkward hand. “Nice to meet you both.” Then, not waiting for an answer, she scuttled towards the front door. Heidi could almost feel her holding her breath. Eden opened the front door, then turned to her. She went to say something, then stopped.
“See you again soon? Let’s try to get a date in the diary.” Heidi put a hand on the side of Eden’s face, holding it as if it were a piece of the world’s most important china. Handle with care. Those three words pretty much described Eden. “Because apart from the past 15 minutes, I’ve loved the past 24 hours a hell of a lot.”
Eden nodded, a hint of a smile crossing her face. “Me, too.” She paused, then leaned forward for a quick kiss.
Her lips were warm, sexy, delicate. Heidi didn’t want to let them go. But if she wanted Eden to come back, she had to do so of her own accord. That was the hardest fact to swallow as she pulled away. “Call me?”
Eden gave her a firm nod, then walked down the path.
She didn’t look back.
Heidi shut the front door, then pressed her back against it, closing her eyes. Maya’s cries had calmed a little. Heidi needed a minute before she went back in there.
Eden was a complex case. Even without Maya in the picture, she might have bolted just because Heidi was suggesting a relationship. To Eden, they didn’t last, whereas no matter what happened in Heidi’s world, she always had a sure-fire belief that she’d find love and be happy. She knew that was because
of her stable background, her upbringing. Because she’d always loved herself, never doubted her ability to warrant love. Whereas Eden had never had that. She’d always second-guessed herself, wondered if the problem was her. Her mum had left, so why wouldn’t everyone else?
Heidi had seen the pain in her eyes, on her face, in her every movement this morning. She’d gone from being relaxed, to being hesitant, unsure. Heidi wanted to help, to reach inside and reset Eden. But she knew it was going to take a whole lot more than a few platitudes from her. Where Eden was concerned, she had years of behaviour and thought patterns to unpick. Heidi hoped she was willing to give it a try.
Because despite all the obstacles past and present, Heidi liked Eden. A lot. She loved her laugh. She loved her eyes. But most of all, she loved her strength. Eden was a tower of strength, and that was her problem. She needed to let her guard down, be vulnerable. To open herself up and not expect the worst. It wasn’t going to happen overnight. But Heidi was ready to try to help her, and in the process, burrow into Eden’s life. She was worth it. Especially after last night.
She chose her.
Heidi hoped Eden felt the same.
Chapter 31
Today was filming day for the Chocolate Delight ad, India insistent they strike now and rush it into production while the treasure-hunt promotion was still fresh in the public’s mind. They also had people handing out trial packs at every major London train and tube station, grabbing the attention of not just Londoners but also commuters coming in from the surrounding counties and suburbs. India texted this morning to congratulate the team on getting the commercial into production so quickly. Eden and Caroline had pulled in a glut of favours to meet the tight deadline, and Eden hoped it went smoothly. With that off her plate, she could turn her attention back to Heidi. If Heidi was still talking to her.