by Vicki Hinze
“What is?”
“It’s as if something has broken her will.” Jessica’s brown eyes widened. “That is the last thing I’d ever expect from your mother.”
“Me, too.” It was an alien concept. Her mother had always had an iron will.
A bell chirped, then chirped again. “That’s Rory, again. He’s having a love affair with his call button. I’d better get down there,” Jessica said. “If I don’t answer right away, he slides right past his usual grumpy state into roar.” She smiled. “I’ll stop by your mom’s when I can.”
Lauren went into her mother’s room, washed her hands, and spotted a note from Caroline on the bedside tray. “Gone home. Had all the people time I can take for one day. Mom is doing better, despite what Dr. Fleming says. I saw him this morning, and he says she’s stable.”
Her mother stirred awake. “Lauren.”
“Hi, Mom.” She planted a kiss to her forehead. It was cool.
“So how did the planning go today?”
“First things first,” Lauren said, pulling the chair closer to the bed. “Has something upset you recently?”
“No.”
“Then your spirit isn’t broken?” Again, she was grateful they’d always been blunt.
“Lauren, don’t be silly. That’s so unlike you.”
“I’m not being silly. I’m serious.”
“What is this all about?”
Lauren grasped her mother’s hand. “We’ve always been honest with each other, so I’m just going to spit this out.” When her mother nodded, Lauren went on. “The medical staff doesn’t understand why the antibiotics haven’t started working. That’s becoming a challenge for you.”
“They’re working. I can feel it,” her mother said. “I’m improving, Lauren.”
“I pray you are. But it’s not showing up in your numbers yet.”
“Dr. Fleming says I’m stable. Tell Jessica to quit worrying about me and my spirit. We’re both intact and I’m going to be fine.”
“Promise?” Lauren blinked hard. “Mom, you know I love you, right?”
“Of course. And you know I love you.”
“Then tell me the truth.”
Her mother’s face flushed. “About what?”
That surprised Lauren. “Is there more than one truth you’re withholding from me?”
“Did you come here just to pick a fight with me?” Vanessa Holt sniffed. “Don’t make me prefer to watch Caroline read over a visit with you.”
She had a point. Still… “Point taken. But if something were bothering you, you would tell me, right?”
“I would.” Her mother nodded. “Now, enough about all that. Tell me how the plans are coming along.”
She didn’t want to discuss herself or her condition, and if Vanessa Holt made up her mind to not discuss something, wild horses or a tow truck couldn’t drag anything out of her. Lauren gave in to the subject shift graciously. “It was a good day. The tickets are being printed as we speak. Carter will have them ready in the morning.”
“Did you see Binks?”
“I did. You’re going to be happy with her report.”
“I am?”
Lauren nodded. “The Historical Society is paying the sitting fees, and Binks is doing family photos. The Chamber and Tom’s Hardware are splitting some of the other events costs. If the dinner and dance sales pick up, then it looks like we’re set for a profitable fundraiser.” Lauren touched her mother’s hand. “I have an idea on that. A website. I’m hoping it’ll do the trick.”
“I sure hope so. You know how much your father loved music.”
So that’s the reason she’d been so dedicated to the festivity projects all these years. “He did.”
Her mother gazed at the wall, seeing something far beyond it. “He wasn’t always that way. About music, I mean. When we went to our first Christmas dinner and dance, he became a diehard fan.”
“Really?” Lauren hadn’t known that.
“Really.” Her mother smiled. “That night, I told him I loved him, and I knew he loved me, and it was high time we got married.”
Lauren gasped and laughed. “You proposed to Dad?”
“If I hadn’t, we’d still be dating, and you and Caroline wouldn’t be here.” She laughed. “He was stunned, but he accepted.” Her mom’s smile lingered, curving her lips. “He said he had intended to ask me that night—he had the ring and everything—but he was too nervous to talk, so he kept postponing. I think my impatience puffed him up a little. He accepted right away.”
Lauren laughed. “I can’t imagine Dad nervous.”
“I was terrified, too.”
“No, you were determined. You get something in your head and that’s that. You’ve always known exactly what you wanted.”
“I have. Most of the time.” Her mother’s voice weakened. “Honestly, David really shook my confidence.”
“Let’s don’t discuss him. Let’s discuss happy times and you.”
Her mother ignored her. “I just knew he was the one for you.”
Clearly, she intended they discuss him anyway. “You weren’t exactly crazy about him.”
“Nonsense. I have always been crazy about him,” she countered. “He loved you above all else. I saw it in everything he said and did. What mother wouldn’t love that?”
But he’d left her, and while she had trouble remembering sometimes when they were together, he didn’t love her anymore. Lauren sobered. “Can we not talk about David? Please.” It couldn’t be good for her mother, and it definitely wasn’t good for Lauren.
“Indulge me a moment. Just a moment.” She persisted. “Did you two get along well today?”
“It was fine. We’ve got so much to do and so little time. The intense focus on the plans keeps either of us from thinking about much else. That’s a good thing.”
“So much to do?” Her mother looked confused.
“The printer, the photographer, the florist, caterer, then the events.”
Her mother looked a little lost. “Don’t forget the favors. They have to be made.”
“What are they?”
“Ribbon-wrapped candy canes for Santa to give to the children.”
“Santa?”
Her mother’s eyes stretched wide. “Don’t tell me David forgot Santa.”
“I’m sure he hasn’t,” Lauren reassured her mother. “We just haven’t yet discussed it.”
“Well, you two better get busy.” Worry etched her face and settled in her eyes. “We have the Holt reputation to consider, and we don’t want anyone disappointed.”
“Believe me, we are trying hard to do everything exactly as you would want it done.”
“I’m sure you are, dear.”
“Seems everyone is going the extra mile this year.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“They’re doing it for you, Mom. You think people don’t notice all you do, but they do notice, and it means a lot to them.”
“What I do is a privilege, Lauren.” She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so tired. I need to rest a little while.”
“Of course.” Lauren patted her mother’s arm, and stood up. “I’ll go get busy on those favors.”
“The candy canes and ribbons are in my She Shack.”
The little backyard building that had been her mother’s art studio and sanctuary and hobby room all Lauren’s life had always been called her studio. But after Dad’s death, Mom recalled once he had referred to it as her She Shack, and the name had stuck. “Mom, can I ask you a question?”
“Yes.” She sounded groggy.
“Why did you help David? When everyone here was freezing him out, he said you helped him. Why did you do that?”
“Because you loved him, Lauren.”
“But he broke my heart.”
“Yes, he did.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Think on it for a while.” She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
The conve
rsation wasn’t what she’d hoped for, but it was all she was going to get. Walking out with as many questions as when she’d walked in, Lauren rounded the corner and saw Jessica.
“I’m having to pull a double. One of the nurses called in sick, so no Granny’s at seven for me tonight. Sorry, Lauren.”
“It’s just as well,” Lauren said. “I was just informed we have to make favors for Santa to give to the kids. Nothing fancy. Just ribbons on candy canes.”
“Before you go, let’s grab a quick bite in the cafeteria. I’m starving.”
“Okay.”
When they’d gotten their food and sat down to eat, Jessica scooped up a French fry and dragged it through sour cream. She’d always done that. Had never been a ketchup fan. “Reverend Wong’s got a group meeting tonight at the church. I’ll bet if you ask, they’ll put the favors together for you.”
“Great idea.” Lauren spread her napkin in her lap. “We have it all. When I leave here, I’ll drop by and ask.”
Halfway through her salad, Jessica got that look in her eye. “What?” Lauren asked.
“I promised myself I’d wait for you to bring him up, but it’s clear that’s not going to happen, and I’m dying to know, so I give up. How did it go with David today?”
Lauren took a sip of tea before she answered. “Honestly?”
“Always.”
“It was hard. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all day.”
“Because…?”
“He’s being nice. And acting like nothing happened.” She shrugged. “Every other word brought back a memory, and most of them were good, which really knocked me for a loop.”
“I can imagine.”
“At first, I was annoyed because he was here.”
“I figured.” Jessica harrumphed. “I would be furious. It’s almost like he stepped into your life here, and you’re stuck in Georgia.”
“Exactly.”
Jessica nodded. “The first six months he was here, that’s all I thought about every time I saw him, which was often.”
Surprised, Lauren asked, “Why?”
“It’s a small town, Lauren.” Jessica shrugged. “Impossible to avoid anyone for long.”
“True, and that’s exactly how him being here struck me.” Lauren sighed. “I felt betrayed by everyone—even Mom, for accepting him, and that’s just wrong. I shouldn’t feel that way, Jess.”
“I don’t know a woman who wouldn’t feel that way—at least, at first. It had to be a shock.”
“It was.”
“All this time, and your mom never said a word about him being here?”
“Not one. Caroline either,” Lauren added, “or you.”
“I thought you knew, and you’d bring it up when you were ready.”
Oddly, that made Lauren feel better.
“So today was hard. It stirred up a lot of old feelings. But you got through it.”
“It’d be better if I always remembered they were old feelings. Not current ones. It’s easy to forget sometimes.”
“Give yourself a break. You loved him, and you thought you’d love him forever.”
“I did.” Lauren dragged a thumb down her sweating glass. “It wasn’t all bad. The memory rushes aside. Well, many of those were good, too,” she admitted. “Actually, it was kind of nice to talk to him or to remember some little something and for the first question in my mind not to be, ‘Why?’”
“Maybe it’s time for you to just ask him why. Put it to bed.”
“I almost have a couple times. But something always comes up that he’s in a rush to handle.”
“He’s avoiding the subject?”
“I believe he is. But he did try to open a discussion door once today. The timing was bad, though. I had to get over here to see Mom. Caroline was supposed to see Dr. Fleming on rounds and give me a report. I had hoped she’d still be here, but she left a note. You know how she maxes out on people.”
“She left just before eleven,” Jessica said. “Frankly, I’m shocked she made it that long.” Jessica took a bite of fry. “Probably wouldn’t have if Rory hadn’t been here, too.”
“He does have a calming effect on her.”
“Things will get better, Lauren.” Jessica finished her fries. “People will stop gawking and gossiping and you’ll get used to being around him. Things will get better.”
“They didn’t get better before.”
“It hadn’t been long enough since the wedding.” Jessica waved a fingertip. “You know what I mean. This time is different.”
“How?” It was still David and her.
“Once people realize you aren’t going to kill each other or reunite in Town Circle, they’ll get used to seeing you together and all this Christmas bustle will end, and then things will settle down.”
“And I’ll be back in Atlanta and he’ll be here, living my life.”
“Only if that’s what you choose.” Jessica looked her in the eye. “You control your life, my friend. Whether you stay or go back, that’s up to you.”
A smiling Jason joined them. “Ladies.”
“You look particularly happy,” Jessica said. “What’s got that smile on your face?”
“I just heard Baxter dug a hole near the steps at Community Hall yesterday. Before anyone could fill it in, Santa Number Two, Rory, took a nose dive into it. Heard he was taken to the E.R. and wanted to check on him.”
“He was admitted,” Jessica said. “My floor.”
“Oh, no.” Lauren grimaced. Santa Number Two registered. “Is he okay?”
“Sandra Mason says he’s fine,” Jason said. “Well, he might have a sprained ankle, but that’s a good thing.”
“How can a sprained ankle be a good thing?” Jessica dabbed at her mouth with her napkin.
Jason grinned. “Baxter can outrun him.”
Lauren chuckled. “He’s on the bad dog list, eh?”
“Oh, yeah. Santa Number Two is not happy. Tom said he griped all the way over here about getting the mayor to issue a proclamation that the Popes had to keep Baxter at home.”
Lauren frowned. “Seriously?”
Jason nodded.
“That is not going to happen,” Jessica insisted. “Baxter has been depressed.”
“And anxious.” Lauren added.
“I’ve heard that, too.” Jason folded his hands together. “I reminded Rory about Janelle, and how rescuing Baxter had pulled the Popes back from the brink after she passed away. He’s just raising Cain. He’s not going to do anything.”
“Barbara and Kenneth will be happy to hear it.”
“They would have fought him tooth and nail and demanded a “Save Baxter” vote be put on the ballot.” Jessica said.
“Wouldn’t that be a mess? Santa versus Baxter? The kids would be really upset.” Lauren said. “Who was Santa One this year?”
“Nick. He’s always Santa One.”
“Where’s he?”
“Up on the third floor in isolation. He has the flu.”
“Hate to hear that,” Lauren said. “So, Rory was filling in for Nick, and now he’s in the hospital, too?”
Jessica nodded. “He’s been giving us fits up on the floor.”
Lauren winced, recalled the call button affair remark from earlier. “If they’re both out of commission, then we’ve got a problem.” This was not good. Two Santas down. Who could they get to fill in at this late date? “Does David know?”
“I assume everyone in the county knows by now,” Jason said.
Rory was just cantankerous enough to file a complaint, too. “Santa versus Baxter,” Lauren grunted. “The kids will be outraged and confused.”
“The adults, too.” Jessica chimed in. “Barbara and Kenneth might spoil the mutt but who can stay mad at Baxter? He’s charming.”
“He’s a pain,” Jason shared his opinion, “but everyone loves him anyway.”
“Endearing, my mother says.” Lauren stood up. “I’ve got to touch base with David on this,
and then go talk to Reverend Wong. Wish me luck. Otherwise, it’s going to be a long night.” Lauren lifted her tray. “Let me know if there’s any change on mom, Jess.”
“I will. Don’t worry. I’ve got her.”
“Thanks.”
Jason watched Lauren go. “She doesn’t know about David, does she?”
“Not yet.” Jessica sighed.
“He should tell her.”
“Considering the internal war she’s got raging inside her right now, I agree.” Jessica took a drink from her cup. “Maybe that’s why he’s waiting. Letting her get used to him being around first.”
“Honey, that woman is never going to get used to him being around. Not when she doesn’t have a clue what all this is about.”
“She feels invaded and betrayed,” Jessica told him. “But I think she also still has strong feelings for him.”
“That should make it easier…or harder,” Jason said. “I can see it both ways.”
“So can I.” Jessica lifted her hands. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all works out.”
Jason sent her a warning look. “Either way, she’s going to be really ticked you didn’t tell her, Jess. You know that, right?”
“I do.” Her expression turned solemn. “But I can’t tell her. If I did and she walked away, I’d never forgive myself. Every day, I’d wonder if I just stayed out of it, things would have a better ending.”
“I hear you.” He clasped her hand atop the table. “But she’s still going to be really ticked off at you. Just be prepared so you don’t get hurt.”
“Yes, she will. She’ll be the one hurt. I hate that, but I’ll just have to deal with it.”
Becky Grayson stopped by Jessica’s table, carrying her food tray. “I don’t know what’s put such a sour look on your face, but I know something that will put a smile on that mouth.”
Jessica looked up at Mrs. Grayson. “What’s that?” She could use a smile. The idea of Lauren being hurt by Jessica’s silence did not sit well on her shoulders, and it sat even heavier on her heart.
Becky Grayson smiled. “Tom just came in to pick up Rory Hardin. He’s been discharged.”
Hope lit up inside Jessica. “Seriously?”
Becky nodded.
Jason seemed confused. “Tell me again how Rory Hardin connects around here. I should recall more, but I don’t see him much.”