by L. Filloon
I move to Tolan. “Are you all right?”
Tolan looks at me stiffly. “I am, Lily. Sorry, I’m just anxious to get back to Julia. I’m sure she’s worried.”
I’m confused by his manner, but I suppose we are all uptight and just want to get back to the queen’s garden. Alorn stands and walks up to Tolan, putting a hand on his cousin’s shoulder. They exchange a look before Alorn nods again and slips out the door.
“Where’s Tharin?” I ask, not moving.
“He’s with Mellis,” he answers hesitantly. “He wanted to scout ahead to give us a free path to the tower without incident.”
“He said he’d be back.”
“I know and he told me to tell you he was sorry, but he just wanted to make the last of our journey safe,” he replies edgily.
“Why are you acting like this?”
Tolan shrugs and relaxes a bit. “Nothing, I just really, really miss Julia.”
I stare at him until he starts to squirm. “I mean...” he continues, “…you know, I have a lot on my mind. My father, becoming king of the Willow Clan, and Julia...”
I stop him. “What do you mean, Julia?”
He shrugs again. “I mean she’ll be my wife and she’ll be queen, but you know her better than anyone. She may not go for it.”
“She loves you, Tolan. And trust me, if you ask she’ll say yes.”
He nods looking uncertain. “I hope so.”
I laugh at his concerned face. “Well, at least she has a choice.”
I make my way to the door, but Tolan moves to block me.
“What do you mean, she has a choice?”
Startled, I step back, not knowing how to answer him. After a moment, I sigh. “I didn’t ...I didn’t mean anything by it, Tolan. I just think it’s nice that you’re asking her, that’s all. For me, well you know, it kind of...just is. It’s either marrying Tharin or dooming an entire realm.”
“Is that what you want, Lily? A proposal?” he asks quietly.
“Tolan,” I say patiently, “it’s every girls’ dream to be proposed to in the most romantic way possible by the man she loves and be able to say ‘yes, I will marry you’.”
“So, what you really want is a choice?”
For some reason, to finally hear it out loud, all my fears of not having my own life rise to the surface. “Yes, Tolan, it would have been nice if I had a choice – if I had any choice.”
Tolan is quiet, lost in thought. Wanting to reassure him, I quickly add, “It’s okay. Trust me when I say she’ll say yes. Julia loves you.”
I move once again toward the doors, but Tolan lifts his hand to hold me back.
“Just one more thing; do you think Julia will be opposed to having kids?” he asks, his face unreadable.
I answer with another reassuring smile. “Of course, she wouldn’t. Why would she?”
Tolan nods with the half smile that matches his brothers.
“And what about you, Lily, do you want to have children with Tharin?”
I’m confused by his question. Not so much the question itself, but why he would be asking. “Um…yeah, sure. According to him, we’ll have four kids, so I guess it’ll happen.”
“You didn’t answer the question. Do you want to have kids with Tharin?” he asks seriously, a bit tense.
I relax a bit, realizing why he’s asking. “Tolan, I’m not going anywhere, despite anything I’ve said to Tharin before now. Remember, we’re destined to be together and we’re going to have beautiful kids to play with your beautiful kids.”
I hope that puts him at ease. I know he thinks my plans will affect Julia’s plan, but they won’t.
This time his smile is genuine and full. “Thank you, Lily. I’ll let you know how it all goes when I do ask her.”
I laugh as I finally walk out the door. “Oh, trust me, I’ll know because Julia will beat you to it.”
Alorn is standing at the table drinking some of Mellis’ tea. He glances at us over his cup and I notice he is fully dressed for travel. I turn in time to see Tolan work the tree’s energy to close the extra rooms. I return to the sofa I slept on and put on my boots and coat. I look around for my clothes and a tinge of sadness overcomes me when I realize they are gone. My only belongings I had left of my old life. I realize Tolan and Alorn are watching me closely, so I finish lacing my boots and force myself to forget about some old clothes that were too big for me anyway.
Alorn and I easily fall into our old routine as we leave the thela. It isn’t until I step to Alorn’s side that I realize Tolan is waiting for me to join him. I guess because of last night he feels responsible for getting me through the caves and now figures it would be the same today. But Alorn has always been my bodyguard. When Tharin isn’t around it’s Alorn who I look to for guidance and protection.
I think of my earlier conversation with Tolan and realize without Julia to worry about and keep him distracted he is focusing all his attention on me. I look at Alorn who stands in front of me scanning the area. I want to get his attention without Tolan seeing, but it would be too obvious tugging at his coat or arm, or tapping at my temple like I usually do. I really need to remember to ask Tharin how to do the whispering thing.
Alorn makes a move to take off but I grab his hand which stops him in his tracks. He gives me a startled look and I give him a perplexed one in return.
“You know I can’t keep up with your speed. Were you just going to leave me behind?”
He shakes his head as if remembering where he is and who he is talking to.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “You ready? I’ll stay at your pace; don’t push too hard and when you’re too tired to go on, you let me know. Same as always.”
Tolan is standing a ways from us and I glance at him before stepping in front of Alorn. I cast my eyes upward, trying to indicate that he whisper with me. Instead, Alorn raises his brows indicating that I have lost my mind. I sigh, shaking my head and letting it go. I’m not sure what is wrong with either of them but the sooner we get going the sooner I will be with Tharin.
“Never mind,” I say as I turn toward the wooded area ahead of us.
I feel Alorn’s hand on me and I look up questioningly.
“Are you all right?” he asks, looking me over closely.
“Yeah, I am. I’m just anxious to get back with the others.”
I no longer care about any dream that may or may not have anything to do with Alorn. All I am doing is putting a wall between us – I trust him, with my life. And right now I have to trust him to take me to Tharin. As for Tharin leaving with Mellis without even saying good-bye, I understand why he did it, but I don’t have to like it. And I am going to make sure he damn well knows it.
Alorn nods at Tolan, and in turn, Tolan frowns at me. After a moment of brooding, Tolan takes off. We really need to get him back to Julia quick.
Tolan takes us through several paths that lead us back to the tower. It’s when we are in the tower that things become a little tense. There are secret passageways, explained Tolan, all over the city that they used when they were boys. Although there are dozens, there is only one passage to the royal floor and it ends at the king’s study located in his suites. According to Tolan and Alorn only they, Tharin, Mellis, Phoris and later, Ziri, know of it. They are pretty sure the king knows, too, but they never asked.
Alorn opens the secret door to the king’s study slowly. There are no scraping or squeaking sounds from the door opening and we quietly file into the room. The study is completely dark and I can barely make out the furniture. I can only imagine it to be similar to Tharin’s – hardwood, old and dark, hand carved designs fit for a king. I am pretty sure there are inlays of oak leaves throughout the suite. The smell of rich wood and leather permeates the air and I can see dying embers from across the room which must be a fireplace.
“Lily, stay close. My uncle’s suite is full of old relics from Eirrell and I plan to have them in one piece when he returns,” says Alorn as he takes my hand.
I stay quiet, feeling a little sick knowing the king would not be returning. I tug on his hand, getting his attention.
“Yes, Lily?”
“Alorn, Jarhan told me that he isn’t going to make it. That he’s waiting for his sons, all of his sons, and is holding on until then,” I say sadly.
Light from the tall windows spill into the room and I can make out Alorn’s face when he stops to look at me.
“Does Tharin or Tolan know?”
I shake my head. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell them,” I choke. “I felt it would be best for their father to tell them himself. Was it wrong of me to keep it from him?”
He squeezes my hand. “You did what you thought was right. And it’s not your place to say anything to begin with. Jarhan should not have burdened you with Thilthen’s fate. Don’t let it bother you any longer.”
I smile at him gratefully and hug him, something I would do with any of them. All of them seem to put my feelings first before their own and I have no other way to show my gratitude but to hug them fiercely.
Alorn pats my shoulder comfortingly as I look up at him again.
“What?” he asks suspiciously.
“Frank and Chris are here, in Velesi.”
“And you didn’t tell Tolan, right?”
I nod pathetically. “Right.”
We both turn to Tolan, startled to find him standing before us, a hard look on his face.
“Please don’t tell him,” I beg Alorn without looking at him. “This is Julia’s fight, if Tolan knows he’ll run after them.”
Alorn stares at Tolan, not answering my pleas. Instead, he opens up the communication to include him.
“What is it, Tolan? Is someone else in the suite with us?” asks Alorn, letting his arm drop from my shoulders.
“You know damn well there isn’t,” he snaps.
I pull away from Alorn and step up to Tolan. “What’s your problem? Why are you snapping at us? We’re almost there and you’ll see Julia. Stop being so…so…”
“So like what, Lily? Bossy?” he snaps back at me.
My eyes grow wide when I realize what is going on. And I am so pissed off I forget where we are.
“Tharin, you son of a biscuit ea…” I yell with my fists at my sides. I am cut off from saying anything else because in a flash Tharin has a hand over my mouth, picking me up and frowning at me.
I hear Alorn sigh heavily and move to sit on one of the large sofas.
“I’m sorry. I should have told you…ah! Lily, stop kicking me,” he growls.
“I swear I’m kicking your ass!” I continue to struggle against him as I hit his shoulder with my free hand.
He knows what I am about to do and lifts his knee to protect his groin in the nick of time. It only infuriates me further and I hit his shoulder again.
“Lily, if you don’t stop hitting me I’ll have no choice but to knock you out. Now stop hitting me,” he warns.
“Go ahead…hit me! It will be the most honest thing you’ve done so far, you ass,” I reply, still punching him which, of course, is useless. His damn arm is as hard as a rock, especially when he’s flexing it. If he didn’t have his elbow up to protect his face I would smack him on the side of his big, thick head.
Tharin looks about and spots a large armchair. He releases my mouth, spins me around so my back is against him and carries me to the chair and sits. He has me on his lap with my arms pinned with one arm and the other he wraps around my knees, keeping them together and preventing me from kicking him.
“All right, Lily…Lily…” he tries to calm me down.
I stop struggling, breathing hard and staring at him furiously.
“You son of a…”
“Lily,” he interrupts, “my father has never eaten a biscuit in his entire life, truly. And I don’t think my mother has either. We have breads and cakes, but no biscuits. I give you my word.” He puts his hand up to declare his statement to be true.
I take advantage of having my knees freed and bring one up hard into his exposed ribs. He grunts and when his grip on my shoulders loosens, I jump off his lap, looking down at him. And just for good measure, I give him a swift kick in the shin. He grunts again, but barely above a whisper like the first one.
I turn to Alorn, “You knew about this?”
“I had no plan in it, but eventually, yes,” he answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask crossly, feeling a little betrayed.
Alorn stands so the light from the window exposes his face fully. “Because, Lily, he did what he thought was right. And it’s not my place to say anything to begin with.”
He uses the same words he used to pardon my own reasons for keeping Thilthen’s fate to myself. I stand staring at him, confused and angry – and feeling small. I turn to Tharin, trying to calm my breathing. Alorn is right. We say or don’t say things to protect the ones we love but despite our good intentions, a lie is still a lie. I breathe out slowly and with it most of my anger.
I move back to kneel beside Tharin, who is rubbing at his shin and giving me a sour look.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize half heartedly.
Tharin lets out a heavy breath. “Look, I am sorry. We thought by keeping you and Tolan apart it would keep them from getting the key, the Summoner and the queen. All the elements needed to get the doorway open. We know they would come for you first, and if they thought Tolan was with you it would keep them from going after him. This way, he could continue to look for the doorway and I would be with you in hopes of taking out Harlu or Kolinest, or both. I was going to tell you when I got back at the thela, but...”
“But you had to ask your damn questions.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go that way and I would’ve told you, but...”
I stop him before he can finish his explanation. Holding his gaze, I say, “You can’t marry a child, Tharin, so stop treating me like one.”
He sighs, nodding, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“We should go,” I say, not letting him explain any further. I let him know I’m still pissed by walking away and not waiting for him. I still feel my secrets aren’t as bad as his but I let it drop for the sake of peace. I walk over to Alorn and turn to Tharin who is still frowning at me.
I stare back annoyed. “We have to keep up appearances, don’t we?”
~ * ~
Chapter Twenty-Two
~ Tharin ~
I limp to the front doors of the suites and open one quietly. Like the rest of the tower, the hallway is in darkness and I send out my senses, feeling for any hidden dangers. When I find none, I close the door quietly and turn to Alorn and a still pissed off Lily.
“The way to the queen’s suites should be clear. I sensed nothing out of the ordinary,” I report.
“Wouldn’t they keep guards at the garden?” asks Lily.
“No. They don’t know exactly where the doorway is located, but if they should guess, they would guess it to be at Gastah Point.”
“Why?” Lily asks, confused.
“Because,” interjects Alorn, “the realms energy is felt the strongest there. So, they’ll assume that’s where the doorway will be.”
She nods her understanding and says,“But Harlu knows about the garden. He was waiting for me when I returned with Cessa from Malainisi. He’s not stupid. You can’t believe that he hasn’t figured out the garden is a doorway to Cessa’s realm.”
“Not necessarily,” says Alorn. “It’s a well known fact that the queen would take walks with Cessa in the pando forest. He may not see it for more than that.”
“It’s true, Lily. I didn’t know about any doorways to the other realms until just before she died and after she gave me Cessa’s stone as a gift,” I say pointing at her wrist.
She seems satisfied with that answer but I can still see her nervousness. And she is right to feel so. If we do get caught, they have to believe they have Tolan. I look at them one last time before turning to the d
ouble doors. Again I open it slowly and then wide enough for us to sneak out and make our way to the queen’s suites.
When we find ourselves in front of the double doors to my mother’s rooms, we hesitate. I step forward knowing Alorn has my back and lift my hand up, searching for the wards placed there by my father. To my relief, they are still intact. I turn to Lily as I open one of the doors, letting her in first as I follow quickly after her. Once Alorn is in, he puts the bolts in place, locking us in.
Lily moves to stand in front of me, tapping at her temple.
“Yes, Lily?”
“Is it safe? Can we talk out loud?” she asks.
“Yes, Lily, but let’s keep it low anyway,” I answer.
She doesn’t hesitate and asks, “Teach me how to do the Whispering.”
“Now? You want me to stop everything and teach you now?”
She sighs dramatically, dropping her shoulders. “You know what I mean.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if you’re capable of it, Lily.”
“Tolan told me that I have the ability, but because of my human blood you’d be the only one who could reach in and make it happen,” she states.
“He did, did he?”
She places her hand on her hip and a stubborn look on her face. “Yes, he did. Are you going to teach me or not?”
What can I do, refuse her? “All right, Lily. When we have some alone time I’ll teach you. Right now we just need to get to the garden and make our way to the Willow.”
She seems pleased with my answer as she places her hands on my shoulders and stands on tip toes to plant a kiss on my lips.
“Thank you,” she says genuinely, before moving toward the queen’s master bedroom, disappearing inside.
One minute she is beating the crap out of me and the next she is as gentle as a kitten. She is going to be the death me, I swore it before and will continue to until she actually does kill me.
Alorn comes up from behind me and slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“You know she’s going to be the death of you one day,” he remarks as if reading my thoughts. “You might as well just hand over the realm to her and call it day.”