by L. Filloon
“Lily.” We turn to the voice and standing over his body is Lucas’ spirit. It is only a brief moment, but within it he says, “Thank you.”
Lily told me Lucas was the one who left E’leiana on the path where he knew she would be found. I nod to him, releasing what once stood between us. He smiles and looks down at his side. From behind him E’leiana appears and when she smiles at me I believe my heart will burst.
“I will return her to your mother,” says Lucas and with that, the spirits of our siblings disappear. Whether Lucas will be judge to the UnderRealm or Eirrell, I don’t know, but E’leiana’s forgiveness has set him free.
~ * ~
Chapter Twenty-Five
~ Lily ~
Glynnis is waiting for us outside the room. Tharin resists letting me go, but eventually he allows Glynnis to take me back to the royal suites. Bi’irea wanted to have the queen’s suites ready for after our wedding, and because Thilthen is being prepared for his funeral and still in my father's master bedroom. So, a suite a few doors down was prepared for our use.
Bi’irea told me Tharin had a room for us a few floors down but when he realized what his aunt had in mind, he moved back to a suite on the royal floor. Marilyn and Julia were already situated in our suites, which Julia was already settled in. I found her sleeping in the bed we were to share, snoring in peaceful slumber. I was still too amped up from what happened with Falsad. I know Tharin believes it was Jarhan who killed Falsad and I had no part in it, but he is wrong. I did. I knew what I was doing and I have no regrets – none; although afterward I was shaken by the whole ordeal and by the power of the dragon. I promise you this – I won’t lose any sleep over it. Knowing Lucas would be judged and released from Demus keeps me focused and determined. No, I have no regrets at all.
I find myself sitting in the front room looking out into the garden. I can hear the rain and its soft calling. The only thing keeping me from going outside is how comfortable my nightgown is. I just don’t want to get it wet and have to find another. Plus, I am really tired.
“Lily,” whispers Tharin.
“Yes, Tharin?”
“Here is your first lesson in whispering. I have opened myself to you completely; it is up to you to whisper to me.”
“But I don’t even know how to start,” I reply unsure.
“The first lesson of whispering is to listen. We all have our own rhythm, our own vibration. The sound of our voice whether we are speaking out loud or we are whispering. We have our own tone, like finger prints, never two alike. It is how I find Tolan, Alorn, Mellis and Ziri. It is how I will always find you.”
He disconnects, leaving me alone. I take a breath and picture him in my mind; and in my mind’s ear I hear him when he speaks, listen to how he speaks. The tone of his voice vibrates in a way that captures the attention of those he speaks to. I hear the power and the confidence, the certainty of his thoughts. I think of the way he walks and talks, the way he moves when he is resting or in battle. I can even hear him think when he is in thoughtful reflection. I know his vibe like no other.
I let out my senses, seeking the vibe that belongs only to him. I come across other vibes, tones that are familiar to me, but not as strong as Tharin’s. And when I find him, I feel his heartbeat reach out to me. He has opened himself as he said and I gently whisper.
“Tharin.”
“Yes, my love?”
A joy fills me and I am so excited that Tharin feels it from where he is. He laughs along with me and I find comfort in it.
“I knew you could do it,” he says proudly.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I reply, giving him the credit. “But, how is this different from drifting?”
“Because in order for you to drift, you must leave your body,” he answers.
“Tolan made it sound like this would be difficult to learn.”
“It is, but you have the ability in you and you also have me,” he replies. “But like drifting there is a limit to the distance you can reach me. There are always limits.”
“Will I be able to whisper to anyone, including those outside our circle?”
“No,” he answers. “Not yet, but you will in time. And they can refuse to let you in if they don’t want to whisper back. All you can do is ask.”
“Will I be able to whisper to Julia and the others?”
“Yes, if they are opened to you. When we are out on a mission, everyone is opened to me, and I to them. If Tolan hasn’t told you yet, there’s a downside to this, as well. Unless you’re experienced in whispering, you can leave yourself open to anyone or anything, demons included.”
“Okay, I’ll just stick to you for lessons. I’m exhausted, Tharin.”
“I know, but you’re getting stronger.”
“I am?”
“There was a time when using only a small portion of your energy wore you out,” he says. “Tonight, the Healer took over and killed a demon using your energy and you were able to walk out of the room on your own. Not to mention making it to your room and ‘whispering’ with me now.”
I nod, knowing he can’t see me. “I guess you’re right. But I’m still exhausted.”
“Go to sleep, jai’loa and I will see you in the morning.”
“Wait, how do I, you know, stop whispering?” I ask.
“Stop thinking of me,” he answers.
“Seriously? Tharin...” I say in exasperation.
He chuckles before saying, “Imagine hanging up or walking out the door and closing it behind you.”
I do as he instructs. “Okay, now what?”
“Tharin? Hello?” Oh. Okay, that was easy.
I get up to make my way to the bedroom, hoping Julia isn’t sleeping all crazy like, taking up the bed with her long limbs.
“Lily?” I turn to find Marilyn standing at her bedroom door, looking anxious.
Without thinking I move to her. “Marilyn, are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she says, flustered. “I mean, there’s so much that’s happened and I’m still trying to catch up with all of it. And the people here are so strange, but nice…I mean, don’t get me wrong, everyone has been so, so, so nice, but it’s so strange at the same time. I mean, I don’t want anyone to think I don’t apprecia…”
“Shhh, I know,” I say, trying to comfort her. I take her hand and lead her into her room.
When I was younger I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night and Marilyn would be the one to hold me until I was no longer afraid or fell back to sleep. Sometimes in the morning I would find her asleep still holding me and other times she would be up making me blueberry pancakes, my favorite, so I would start my morning on a happy note. Tonight, however, it is my turn to return the favor for all the nights she was there for me.
I pull the covers aside and help her in. She stares at me anxiously and I know she would never ask. So, I tuck her under the blankets and then move to the other side of the bed and climb in. I snuggle up to her and she hugs me fiercely and I let her until she stops shaking. Everything has happened so suddenly for her and I know she has a thousand questions, each with a freak out moment attached to it. I am surprised she held it together this long.
For the next hour or so, I listen as Marilyn talks and asks, and then talks and asks some more until she’s satisfied with my explanations or answers. She asks about Tharin and then about Tolan, Alorn, Ziri and Mellis. She particularly likes Mellis because he made her laugh after the ceremonies. She likes Tolan and find him kind and very much in love with Julia; he has won her approval. She says she was at first afraid of Ziri because of his size and his large ears, but in the end she decides she likes him and that he is a nice “boy”. As for Alorn, he scares her with his quiet ways and how his eyes never missed a thing. She feels even though he looks calm and quiet she expects him to strike at any second. And she thinks Glynnis is quiet and polite, if not exotic and beautiful. As for Julia, she has never seen my friend so happy, so content and so
healthy.
I smile to myself when she talks about Dalim and what a really nice guy he is. At first she thought he was making up stories when he told her of Velesi and who Tharin and Tolan really are. But, when he brought her to Velesi, she had no choice but to believe him then. And I finally get to ask her how they got through the doorway to Velesi. She goes on to explain that at first Dalim was upset and worried because the doorway he was supposed to have used wouldn’t open for him. It wasn’t until he felt a vibration from the other side that he was able to open it and bring them through.
As the night dwindles away, I listen to Marilyn continue to talk. When she finally stops, I glance up to find her eyes are shut and her breathing steady. With a special thank you to the Sandman, I turn from her and fall immediately asleep.
I awake to an empty bed.
I rub my eyes as I look around the room, searching for Marilyn. Seconds later I find a note on the table beside me and I reach for it.
“My dearest Lily,
Dalim has agreed to take me back to Perth. I need to return to Virginia and be by her side. I have been worried about being away from her this long.
I want you to know that I love you very much. Tharin has promised me that he will take good care of you and I believe him. He seems to truly love you. Be happy, my Lily.
Always with love,
Marilyn”
I play with the sheet of paper, thinking of Marilyn making it safely back to Perth. I wonder if Dalim would return or stay with her. I hope he does stay with Marilyn even though I know how dedicated he is to his duties. But then again, if things don’t work out today, he may be stuck in Pathen for good.
I get up quickly and make my way to the shower area when Julia comes in fully dressed and ready to go.
“Why did you sleep in here?” she asks.
“Marilyn wanted to have some girl time before leaving,” I answer, calling for the rain.
“Where’d she go?”
“Back to Pathen.” I strip and step into the downpour, enjoying the feel of its cool, fresh cleanliness.
“So,” calls Julia from the bedroom. “How’s it feel to be a married woman?”
I don’t answer but instead hurry to get showered and dressed. Besides, it is stupid to think I would feel any different after marrying Tharin. Thinking about him hastens my movements and I quickly rinse off and reach for a towel.
After dressing I walk into the bedroom to find Julia lying on the covers staring at the ceiling.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask.
Julia turns on her stomach to look at me. “Yeah. I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Frank and Chris.”
I sit on a nearby chair, putting on my boots. “What about them?” I ask, surprised to hear her say their names without hyperventilating.
She quickly sits up. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. Now, granted I froze the last time I saw them, but I’ve been getting myself used to the thought of seeing them again. I mean, it’s inevitable they’ll find me. I can just feel it. And I might as well get it over with while I have Tolan with me.”
“Did you tell him?” I ask, lacing up my first boot.
“Yeah,” she replies, rolling her eyes. “I told him this morning. He insists I don’t go anywhere unless one of the guys, including Tharin, is with me. Which is not as irksome as I made it out to him.”
I laugh. “Well, it sounds like good advice to me. You ready?”
“Yup.” She hops off the bed.
“Wait,” I stop her. “I want to try something with you.”
She looks at me and shrugs. “Okay.”
“All right, sit,” I command. I pull the chair up and set it in front of her. “Okay, I want you to be completely open to me.”
Julia raises a brow but remains quiet.
“Come on, Jules, just do this for me,” I plead.
“Fine. What do I do?”
“Like I said, just open up to me, you know...with your mind,” I instruct.
“With my mind? How the hell do I do that?”
“Jules, come on, please?”
“Okay, okay, but how do you open your mind, is all I’m saying.”
I look at her and try to remember what Tharin told me last night. “Loosen up,” I reach over and roughly rub her shoulder. “Come on, we’re running out of time.”
Julia shakes out her arms. “I’m trying. Okay, okay, I got this.”
Julia continues to loosen up her shoulders, closes her eyes and blows out a hard breath.
“Okay, that’s enough. Now picture me in your head.”
Julia peeks at me with one eye. “Why, you’re sitting right in front of me?”
“Julia!”
Julia shuts her eye and takes another breath. When I’m satisfied she is relaxed enough, I close my own eyes and reach out to her. Her vibe is as second nature to me as my own. I have known it all my life and was not even aware of it.
“Julia?” I whisper.
Nothing.
“Julia?” I try again.
“Lily?” I feel the excitement until I realize she is calling my name out loud.
“Jules, you don’t have to speak out loud. Just respond through your thoughts.”
“Okay, Lily, what the hell are we actually doing, again?”
I peek to see Julia with her eyes still closed and a look of hard concentration on her face. She is trying so hard that I burst out laughing. She opens one eye and then the other, exasperated by the whole ordeal.
“Are you going to tell me what we were trying to do?”
I smile, giving up. “Tharin taught me to whisper last night, and it worked with him. But I guess I need more practice with others.”
She cocks her head at me. “Whisper?”
“You know, speak to each other in our heads. He said I can only do it with others if they’re opened to me. Didn’t you hear me in your head?”
“No, I didn’t,” she replies. “But that’s kind of cool, if you can do it.”
I get up and move toward the door. “Come on, they’re probably waiting for us.”
“My queen,” greets Glynnis as I open the door.
I stare at her surprised to find her outside our suites so early.
“Glynnis, why didn’t you just come in?” I ask.
“I didn’t want to disturb you and your foster mother,” she replies.
“Oh, okay,” I say, turning to Julia who shrugs at me. “You don’t have to worry about Marilyn, she went home this morning.”
Glynnis nods. “I am sorry to hear she left so soon. I liked her.”
Julia steps out of the room. “That’s great, but I’m hungry and you’re in the way.”
Glynnis steps aside. “My apologies, mistress.”
Julia grabs her by the arm and starts walking. “No worries, Goldie, lead me to the food and all’s forgiven.” She looks over her shoulder at me. “You coming?”
“We’ll be right there,” answers Tharin, appearing at my side.
Julia and Glynnis continue on, disappearing around the corner.
I turn and smile at Tharin. In return he leans down and gives me a lingering kiss.
“Good morning, ja’loa,” he greets softly.
“Morning,” I reply, smiling even more to have him so close and intimate.
He pulls back, taking my hand and going down the opposite way from Julia and Glynnis.
“Where are we going?” I ask, laughing and trying to keep up with his long strides.
He glances back at me with only a smile and I feel myself getting excited by this new game. We make our way back to my mother’s suite and he pulls me in, setting the locks in place. He takes my hand again and leads me to the front room and stands back.
I step into the living space, stunned as I slowly turn in the middle of the room taking in the sweet fragrance of gardenias. The room is full of all kinds of flowers, with the gardenias being dominant. There are flowers I recognize and several I don�
��t, but all beautiful beyond words. The double doors to the garden are open and the smell of fresh rain and the sound of the light downpour sends a soft chill on my skin. Before I know what is going on, my feet are moving toward the gardens as I notice gardenias throughout that I didn’t notice last night. The strong fragrance of the flower is muted by the rain, but its aroma lingers.
Protected by the overhang, I step toward the path that would lead me back to the tower and to Lea’ith’s garden. I step from under the cover and into the rain. I don’t know how it happened, but I can’t seem to get enough of Velesi rain.
I feel Tharin’s arms go around me, pulling me back in from the rain. I lean back against him, enjoying the overload of sensations my body is going through. I turn as he puts a blanket around my shoulders.
“I wish I knew her growing up,” I say sadly, looking around me. “She’s nothing like what I thought she would be. I feel deprived, incomplete. I always felt like I was missing something, when in reality I was just missing her.”
Tharin hugs me to him. “It will be different with our own children, Lily. You’ll be able to experience everything with them but in a mother’s role. When this is all over, I promise we’ll get started on it.”
I watch his face light up at his vision of our happy married life as he hugs me tightly. I should be happy, too, about starting a family and growing old with him – but I’m not. I pull away slowly and move back to the double doors to stare out at the garden.
“Lily?”
I take a deep breath and turn to face my new husband.
“Tharin,” I start slowly. “I don’t know if I want to have kids...”
“What do you mean? It’s a duty of the royal couple to produce heirs to the throne.”
“You didn’t let me finish.” Tharin crosses his arms and I know what that usually means – he has his guard up. “I’m just saying that you have all our life planned out and I don’t have any say in it. I just don’t want to have kids...”