by Jade Lee
Fortunately, he was a man of reason. He knew that there were more ways to possess a woman than through her body. And this woman was more complex than most. So he lifted up, still holding her hips captive with his torso, his hands still brushing across her nipples because he could not stop himself. But his gaze held hers as he spoke.
"I will give you what you want, Gwen. Right now, I will give you an experience you have not even imagined, and I will not take your virginity." He had to say that aloud and make it a solemn vow if he had any prayer of keeping his word. "But after it is done, you must tell me all. You must tell me what demon haunts you, what drives you to such madness."
Her eyes widened, showing him that she understood what he wanted. She licked her lips and swallowed, the movement anxious rather than seductive. "I—I don't know," she whispered. "I truly don't."
It was an honest response, and so he nodded. "Then you must swear to answer my questions honestly so we can figure it out together. Do you understand? I want nothing hidden from me. You must tell me whatever I want to know."
She nodded. The motion was slow and very hesitant.
"Swear it, Gwen. Out loud."
"I swear," she said. "I will tell you whatever you want to know."
He exhaled in relief, stunned by how important this was to him. In this way, she had just committed to baring her heart to him. And that meant far more to him than her body.
He dropped a kiss to her belly, feeling it quiver in response. "Close your eyes, Gwen. Close your eyes and put a pillow over your face."
"What?"
"It will muffle your scream."
She lifted up, her expression intrigued. "I am going to scream?"
"Most definitely," he said. Then he waited as she did as he had bid. And when she was set, he dropped to his knees between her spread thighs. He caressed her slowly, opening her wide like a playground set before him. Then he lowered his mouth and began to play.
She screamed then, a brief start of surprise. But by the time he was done, she had screamed a dozen or more times, over and over.
He did not leave until dawn touched the sky.
Chapter 6
He didn't call the next day. Or was that really "called the same day" given that he'd left just before dawn? Gwen didn't know the exact grammar to use in this type of situation, but she did know what she called it: vexing. Downright, terribly vexing.
Yes, she knew exactly what he was doing. Hadn't she played the same game with other gentlemen? Pay a man special attention one evening only to completely ignore him the next. It never failed to pique the man's interest while telling him that she would not be taken for granted. Well, that's what she'd thought. Turns out she was wrong. The person ignored didn't feel intrigued or schooled. The ignoree felt hurt and unsettled. And extremely vexed!
Of course, what she'd done with Edward wasn't exactly the same as spending a dinner and two dances with a gentleman. What they'd done together was vastly more special, more amazing, and a thousand times more scandalous. Really, what was she thinking to be acting like this? And when could she do it again?
These were the thoughts that kept her scatterbrained and restless all day. It wasn't that she woke so very late—although she did. But even after she was out of bed, she could not keep her mind on the tasks at hand. While she was consulting with the doctor about her mother's medicines, she wondered if Mama had heard anything last night. While she was cajoling her mother out of bed and into a gown, she looked in the mirror and wondered if he'd noticed her flaws, those horrible places where she tended to sag or was too plump. The worst, of course, was as she was sorting through the family's social mail. She had no idea what balls he would go to, how long he was in town, or any sort of information about his schedule. So how could she choose her own?
Which made it triply vexing when he did not show up for afternoon callers! Damnation!
His friend did though. Miss Debra Carson and her mother arrived just after four. Debra smiled warmly, managed a nearly inaudible hello, and then her mama dominated the conversation for nearly the full visit. Gwen understood right then why Debra was so terribly shy. With that mother, she never got any practice at the social niceties. So the girl remained silent and terrified.
So Gwen did what every girl did when she saw a fellow sufferer of an unfortunate mother. She helped Debra escape alone. It was extraordinarily easy. She simply fabricated a shopping trip that must absolutely be done before tonight's ball, told their butler that she was no longer at home for visitors (they were boring anyway with all the same people all the time), grabbed Debra's hand and disappeared. Both mothers barely had time to wave a startled good-bye before the girls were out the door for a trip to Mayfair.
Fortunately it was a lovely day and not so far a walk. That gave them plenty of time for a chat as they strolled along. Gwen began first, her thoughts and questions lining up in perfect order.
"I have been thinking a great deal about finding you a husband," she lied.
"Oh," the girl cried with a clap of her hands. "Truly? Do you know of just the perfect man?"
"Of course I do," she responded with a laugh. "I just don't know who he is yet. You really haven't given me many details of what you'd like."
Debra bit her lip, obviously embarrassed. "Of course. How silly of me."
Gwen squeezed Debra's elbow as they were strolling arm and arm. "Don't be a ninny and get all shy on me. Not after we have shared spilled punch and whispered about gentlemen. Come, come, it's time to talk some more. You have said you don't want Sir Edward. Could you tell me a little more about what he is like so that I shall look in the opposite direction?"
Debra slowed her steps and looked understandably confused. "Do you really think that will help?"
"Of course it will," Gwen lied. "Now, what you think of the Baronet? In great detail please. Leave nothing out!"
"Well," the girl thought as she walked. "He's terribly responsible. After his father died, there was ever so much to sort out. Things in disarray, decisions to be made. Connie even said he had his mind on some improvements to their property."
"Oh my," Gwen said with a smile. "He does sound depressingly responsible. I can see how that would be a terrible burden."
Debra pursed her lips. "You are teasing me. Well, fair enough. I suppose a responsible husband is not so bad a thing."
"Not so much fun either," Gwen said, abruptly worried about the direction this was going. She didn't want to talk Debra into reconsidering Edward as a husband. "Tell me more about his faults."
"Well, he rides about the village on a huge beast of a horse."
"Hmm. He is a rather tall man. He would need a large horse."
Debra nodded. "True. And he doesn't like dogs in the house."
"Is that because he doesn't like dogs? Or because he doesn't want them to harm his sister's cats?"
"Oh! So you know about Connie and her cats. Yes, she was quite obsessed with them for a while there."
Gwen sighed. This conversation wasn't getting her the information she wanted. "Tell me more. Surely there's something more substantial about him that you detest."
"Well, his Latin is bad but his Greek is worse."
Gwen looked over in surprise. "Is that important to you? That your husband know Greek and Latin?"
"I... well, yes, I suppose it is. My father is quite the Greek scholar. He taught me my Greek letters at the same time as I learned the English."
Gwen couldn't think of a more horrible father. Except, perhaps, her own who was always trying to seduce her nanny.
"So, Sir Edward is not particularly scholarly?" she pressed.
"He's excellent at mathematics. He once told me that if he ever had to make his own way, he'd become an accountant. He likes it when things balance, he'd said."
"That is rather dull," Gwen commented.
"Oh, I don't mind dull," Debra returned quickly. "In fact, I think I rather prefer it. Perhaps that is the worst thing about poor Edward."
Finall
y, they were getting somewhere! Gwen leaned forward, anxious to hear. "Oh you must tell me what!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew."
Gwen barely restrained herself from stomping her foot. "How could I know? I just met the man last night."
"Oh no, he has been in your circle for weeks now."
Yes, and she'd already kicked herself for that a dozen times or more. How could she have missed him? "Debra!" she cried. "What is the worst thing about poor Edward?"
"His mother, of course! If you think mine is awful, you should meet his. Loud, interfering, and the house is never quiet. She's always moving, always doing something. Her sister—Edward's aunt—is always visiting and they are like two busy bears."
Gwen frowned. "Are bears busy?"
"Not in the winter, so I guess you have the right of it. His aunt is like a summer bear constantly stirring up a bees' nest."
"Oh." Gwen said, as she tried to visualize this. "Constantly moving? I cannot believe it."
"Believe it! Their home quite overwhelms me. I make Connie visit me whenever possible. I couldn't imagine living there as Edward's wife. It would be terrible!"
Gwen said nothing, too occupied with trying to picture it. A mother who didn't sit listlessly in a chair while staring at the fire? A woman who didn't have to be cajoled out of bed and forced to take a bath? A woman who laughed and moved and was a real person instead of the lost nothing that her own mother had become?
"I would love such a household," she whispered.
"Oh, you wouldn't once you met them," continued Debra. "You are used to refined manners and orderly households. Until recently, the entire house was mayhem all the time."
"Until recently?" Gwen asked. "Recently as in after his father died?"
"Yes. Until then it was pure chaos. It's better now with Edward in charge. Or as in charge as anyone can be when his aunt visits."
Gwen shook her head. "I vow I should like to meet his family. Do you think you could arrange it? For me to visit them tomorrow?"
"Oh! I can't!" gasped Debra as she pressed her fingers to her mouth in true mortification. "I am so sorry!"
Gwen pulled her hand away from her mouth. "Of course you can. You said that they were here shopping. Just invite me along on one of their trips."
Debra shook her head. "You don't understand. They've left London already. Just this morning."
Gwen stopped walking to gape at the girl. "Whatever you do mean?" After all, Edward had been with her until just before morning. How could he have possibly left so quickly?
"An emergency or some such. He sent me a note. I have it right here. I received it just as Mama and I were going calling." She opened her reticule and pulled out a small note. The paper was not so fine, but it was serviceable and, Gwen saw as she peered at the missive, it was written in a bold and very clear hand.
"Do you mind if I read it?" Gwen asked as she touched the white paper.
"Of course not," Debra said as she handed it over. Though it was clear from her expression that she couldn't understand why Gwen would be interested.
Miss Carson,
I give you my most sincerest apologies that I cannot escort you to the theater tomorrow night. Matters at home have called for my attention and they cannot be delayed. The ladies have decided it is best for them to return home as well.
Thankfully, I am greatly reassured by the knowledge that you have a friend in Lady Gwendolyn. I do hope that she can make your time in London more fun especially as I have now abandoned you.
Again, my deepest apologies. I will return as soon as possible, though I cannot say exactly when.
Yours most apologetically,
Sir Edward Murray, BT
Gwen traced her finger across the bold letter E, her heart sinking into her boots. He was gone? After everything they had done together? He was gone?
"Yes," said Debra though Gwen hadn't spoken out loud. "It was quite a blow to me. But I knew it would happen eventually."
Gwen looked up. "You did?"
"Oh, yes. See you don't understand what this really means. Urgent matters at home means that his mother and aunt have started squabbling. And Connie always begins to sulk when that happens because, well because it's always awful. Edward only agreed to bring them to London on the condition that there be no arguments whatsoever. That the moment they start to annoy one another—"
"He would take them home," said Gwen.
"Exactly. It's horribly cruel, especially to Connie. She was having such a wonderful time in town."
"No, no," said Gwen understanding everything. "Sometimes banishment is the only way to solve a problem." After all, things had gotten so bad between father and the maids that Robert had to lock the man out of his own home. Papa now lived at his club and Gwen had a maid again. "But when will Edward return?" She tried to keep the plaintive note out of her voice, but was terribly afraid she failed. Especially as Debra sent her a sharp look.
"So you do like Edward?"
Gwen looked away and feigned a casual shrug. "He would certainly be a more reliable escort than either my father or brother."
"Oh. Of course," Debra said, though it didn't sound like she believed it. "Well, I am sure he will contact me as soon as he returns. Then I can send round a note requesting his escort for us, if you'd like."
Gwen prayed her smile wasn't too bright. "That would be very nice. But in the meantime, we have got to think about your choice of a husband. I know most of the men who go to parties, of course, but I think perhaps you prefer the more academic type. Am I correct?"
"Why yes!" Debra exclaimed. "At least then I would know what to talk about! Scholarly men are so easy. You simply ask them about their studies and it will be hours before their conversation lags."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "Just ask the non-scholarly men about their dogs or their horses and you shall have the same result. Or the politicians about their politics. The cits never stop talking about their money. They're all the same."
Except for Edward, or so she'd thought. He'd wanted to talk about her, about her streak of wildness that drove her to such mad things. That's what he'd said last night. Unless he'd been lying, but she didn't think so. Then again it didn't matter since he'd left. Lying or not, he wasn't here to carry through on his promise.
"All men disappoint us in the end," she said, then was startled when Debra responded. She hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud.
"Not all men. Just the wrong men."
"What?"
"The wrong men are disappointing because they are not the right one, of course."
Gwen shrugged. "I begin to despair that the right one exists at all."
"Perhaps that is because you are not the right woman for your right man just yet." Debra said the words so breezily, that for a moment Gwen could not credit the depth of her words. And even when she began to understand, all she could do was gape and stammer out a single word.
"W-what?"
"Well," Debra said slowly. "I know I am too shy, too awkward, and too nervous all the time. What man—right or wrong—can find me behind all that? I will have to become the right woman for the right man to find me."
Gwen stared at her new friend, her impression of the girl's intelligence leaping upwards. "That's... why that's really very insightful, Debra."
Debra blushed a bright pink, and Gwen was startled by how beautiful the girl was. Add that to her surprising intelligence, and the girl could become a veritable catch. Her charms were just hidden beneath all the other problems of her mother and her terrible shyness.
"Um, might I be so bold?" Debra began, her face becoming alarmingly red.
Gwen slowed her steps. "Yes?"
"Last night was very strange. Your behavior at the ball and the way you disappeared. Even I know it was very odd, and that is saying something indeed."
Gwen looked away, feeling her cheeks flush hot. "That was not typical behavior for me at a ball," she lied.
"Of course not. If it were, then your reputation
most certainly would have suffered."
It was only luck that had kept her safe so far, she knew. Eventually her luck would run out. She knew that, but somehow she couldn't seem to stop herself. Especially since her friends aided her in her efforts. They all knew how poorly she was supervised, and every one of them happily covered for her misdeeds in return for a detailed account of Gwen's adventures. Which up until last night had been tame indeed.
"Perhaps," Gwen offered slowly, "we should make a bargain, we two. You promise to work especially hard on your shyness, and I shall promise to help you find the right man."
Debra looked as if she had just been given a gift from the heavens. Her eyes sparkled with hope and she squeezed Gwen's arm in excitement. But her words were very serious, and once again proved that she had a quick mind. "And how shall I help you, Gwen? What do you need me to do for you?"
"You shall help me think about how to become the right woman so the right man can find me."
Debra's expression turned very serious. "Don't you already know your deepest flaw?"
"What?" gasped Gwen, terribly afraid that the girl had seen through all her schemes and designs.
"You are such a confident and smart woman. Surely you know your greatest flaws by now, whatever they are."
Gwen bit her lip and looked away. "Well, yes, I suppose I have an idea."
"You needn't tell me. Just let me know as we go about what you want help with. I shall do everything I can."
Gwen nodded, then the two of resumed their walk to Mayfair. They were already on the outskirts with shops nearly everywhere one looked. But as the two oohed and ahhed over various trinkets, Gwen's mind began to churn.
She had begun her relationship with Debra as a lark and a kindness. She wanted to help a terribly shy girl over the trauma of a ballroom accident. Then she wanted to know more about Edward. She never really thought of Debra as an equal, more like a pet project.
But the more time they spent together, Gwen saw how very special Debra was. Smart, unafraid of challenging herself to be better, and possibly the most interesting person in her set, excepting Edward of course, but he was in a class all his own.