“Hey, I know what I want, and I make it happen. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, there isn’t. It happens to be one of the things I like most about you.”
“Really?” Rowan asked.
Kate nodded. “You’re driven. I like that.”
Rowan looked at her, dark eyes softening at her words. Kate could get lost in the warm depths of those eyes.
“You moved to Texas,” Kate said. “You wanted the job, and you risked everything to move all the way out here for it.”
Rowan shrugged dismissively.
“It was brave,” Kate said.
Even in the moonlight she could see the color rise to Rowan’s cheeks.
“You know what you want and you give it your all.” Kate lay back, resting her head against the windshield, looking up at the sky. She just hoped Rowan wanted to stay more than she wanted to be back in Portland.
“I want you.” Rowan cut through the silence.
She looked over at Rowan who was propped up on an elbow, gazing down at her.
“You’re right about me,” Rowan said softly. “I want you, and that means I’m in this.”
Rowan didn’t give her a chance to respond. Instead, she leaned down and captured Kate’s lips with her own. Kate’s breath caught in her chest at the softness of Rowan’s lips. She was distantly aware that she let out a soft moan as she reached up, taking Rowan’s face in her hands.
Rowan’s tongue brushed across her lower lip, and she opened her mouth to Rowan’s tender exploration.
Rowan shifted over her. Her breasts pressed against Kate as she settled her weight over her.
Kate allowed herself to get lost in Rowan’s tender touch and warm, gentle kiss. She gave herself over to the sensation, letting go of all of her stress and worries, living completely in the moment.
A loud boom pulled her attention back to the present. Rowan rolled onto her back, and they both looked up to see fireworks exploding across the sky above the festival grounds.
“Perfect timing,” Rowan said.
Kate had to agree. She rested her shoulder against Rowan and watched the explosions light up the sky in a variety of shapes and colors, all the while breathing in Rowan’s soft, safe scent, and feeling Rowan’s skin against her own.
It was the most perfect moment she had ever experienced.
She looked over at Rowan who was rapt with attention to the fireworks display.
It was at that moment Kate knew she could very well be falling for Rowan. She hoped that she could trust Rowan to be there to catch her.
Chapter Twelve
Rowan woke up and stretched sleepily, smiling as she recalled the night before: tubing the Trinity river, eating way too much fried food (her stomach still hurt a bit from all of the cookies), and watching the fireworks with Kate. She’d wanted to invite Kate up when she dropped her off. She had seen the hope in Kate’s eyes, the desire that matched her own. But she knew that Kate needed to see she was committed, and her apartment was still a mess of boxes, so she’d kissed Kate goodnight and somehow used all of her willpower to pull herself from Kate’s truck.
Still, the memory of Kate’s mouth, and hands, and incredibly soft body . . .
She groaned and ran her hands through her hair.
Sunlight streamed in through her bedroom window, and she lay in bed, looking at her mess of an apartment. Boxes were half-open, with belongings strewn all over from when she’d had to dig around to find items that she’d needed in her day-to-day life. Nothing was sorted. Her bookshelves were built, but only a few books were on them. Her pictures were in frames, stacked in piles, collecting dust. The thought of unpacking was both stressful due to the amount of work to be done and anxiety-provoking due to the permanence it suggested.
Rowan climbed out of bed and dressed in a light tank top and pair of shorts— work clothes. She surveyed the living room, deciding to start with the kitchen as that was the room with the most belongings already unpacked. She cranked the volume on one of her favorite Portland punk bands and began sorting her pots and pans.
As she worked, she found herself less overwhelmed by the task and more energized. Empty boxes were stacked outside her front door, as kitchenware, books, DVDs, and her vinyl record collection made their way onto shelves. The place started to feel a little more like it belonged to her, and she found the familiarity surprisingly comforting. She had been so sad at the thought of making a home in Texas that she hadn’t realized how much she needed a little corner of the state to feel like her own.
By the time the last box was emptied, she was sweaty and tired. It had taken her the better part of the morning, and there was still a lot of sorting to be done. She hadn’t started hanging her wall art or photographs yet. But she felt a massive sense of pride and relief.
She needed to take the cardboard boxes downstairs to the recycle bin. She gathered an armful of boxes, stacking a few of the smaller ones into one large box. They weren’t heavy, but they were large and awkward. She’d rather get them to the bin in as few trips as possible, though.
She was rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs when she nearly collided with Dave, who was turning to head up the stairs.
“I’m sorry.” Rowan shifted the boxes in her arms so she could see better.
“What’s with all the boxes?” Dave asked.
Rowan hated his tendency to try to start a conversation every time they saw one another. Why couldn’t it be enough to give a simple nod of acknowledgement, or even just a “hello,” and be on their way?
“I’m finally getting around to some unpacking,” she said, and used her gaze to indicate the boxes in her arms and the recycle bin, hoping he’d take the hint and let her get back to what she was doing, rather than keep her standing there holding a ton of giant boxes.
He got the wrong hint.
“Here, let me help you with those,” he said, and before Rowan could object he took a few boxes from her arms.
Rowan frowned at his imposition but didn’t protest. There was no point. She might as well just let him dump the boxes. He wouldn’t leave her alone otherwise.
“I’ve been meaning to touch base with you,” Dave said, “see how you’re settlin’ in.”
“I’m good.”
“It was a big move for you. Are you starting to make some friends around here?” Dave asked.
Rowan looked over at him, and his smile was warm and genuine. She let out a breath. He was a nice enough guy, if a bit pushy. She decided to answer him more honestly.
“It’s been a hard transition, but I think I’m becoming a little more settled. I may even come to like it here a little bit, heat and all. Though I’ll deny that if you ever tell anyone.”
Dave’s laugh was loud and oddly contagious.
“Listen,” he said, once his laughter subsided, “it’s my birthday coming up, and I’m having a bit of a get-together with a bunch of the neighbors. We’re going to meet up down by the pool area and grill up some hot dogs and hamburgers. Have a few beers. It’ll all be really relaxed. You should join us. It’ll be a good chance to get to know some of the folks around here.”
“When is it?” she asked, hoping that it was an evening she worked so that she didn’t have to lie about being busy.
“It’s Sunday evening,” Dave answered, crushing her hope. “A few of my church friends are going to come by, too. It’ll all be really casual.”
Rowan wracked her brain to make up an excuse.
“Feel free to bring your partner. I’m sure she’d be welcome.”
Rowan stopped walking, unable to find any words to respond. She wasn’t sure what surprised her more, the fact that her neighbor somehow knew she was gay, or the fact that this gun-loving, God-loving, pro-life uber-Texan didn’t appear bothered in the slightest.
“I saw y’all when she picked you up yesterday,” Dave said as if reading her thoughts. “I’m not blind. I know a date when I see one. She’s really pretty.”
She
was fairly certain her jaw was on the ground. She nodded and tried to think of what to say, all the while trying to assess her neighbor’s reaction.
“I get it,” Dave said as he heaved the boxes in his arms into the recycle bin. “You’re in the Bible Belt. But we’re not all homophobic and close-minded down here, ya know. Sure, some are, but I’m sure you’d find that anywhere. Come join us Sunday. Bring your girl. Y’all are welcome here.”
“Okay,” she nodded, still dumbfounded.
Dave took the rest of the boxes from her and tossed them into the bin.
“Great,” he said, as they turned and headed back to the apartment. “I’m looking forward to seeing you there. Hey, do you plan to watch the game tonight?”
And just like that the conversation flipped over to football. Rowan had nothing to contribute, but Dave happily talked about his predictions for the game, the players he had high hopes for, and the ones who’d let him down recently.
She nodded while he talked, but guilt tugged at her for the snap assumptions she’d made about him.
❊ ❊ ❊
Kate sat atop Stryder, riding slow circles around the large pasture out back. The sun beat down on her, and she relaxed into the gentle rhythm of his stride. There was a lot to love about growing up on the cattle ranch. She loved the cows, she loved living in the country away from the city noise and lights, and as a kid she had loved all of the space to run, the trees to climb, and the mud to play in. But more than anything, she had loved the horses.
She eased Stryder from a walk into a trot.
Her dad had always had a natural gift with animals. He had been gentle and fair as a rancher, just as he’d been as a parent. She had grown up admiring the soft-spoken way in which he approached the livestock. It was clear he had formed a bond with each of them.
Which was why it was especially unfair that riding was what landed him in the wheelchair.
It hadn’t been rider error. It was an unfortunate accident, and there was no way to predict or prevent such a thing. The horse, Pip, had gotten spooked. Her dad didn’t know what had spooked him. It could have been a mouse, or a snake, or a stick that resembled a snake. He had landed on the ground before he’d had a chance to even sense that Pip had startled, and now nothing was the same.
Kate eased Stryder into a lope.
She tried to turn off her thoughts as she exercised Stryder, riding fast circles around the pasture. She was tired of thinking. There was too much to think about constantly. The ranch, finances, her dad, Rowan . . .
It was all too much.
So she rode, letting the stress slip away as she focused on ensuring that Stryder retained the correct lead, eventually maneuvering in figure eights as she would in a barrel race.
Stryder huffed and shook his head, his thick mane whipping in the wind as she rode.
The tension eased.
Eventually she slowed back to a trot, then a walk, and let Stryder cool down, sauntering slowly around the arena.
“You’re a good old horse, you know that?” she asked the horse, who simply kept walking in response.
She thought about the veterinary classes she’d had to withdraw from, following her dad’s accident. She had worked so incredibly hard to get into veterinary school, and the courses had been everything she’d hoped they would be, and more. She had been in the first year of her classes, and the courses were still broad, covering the basics before she could get into the really interesting material, and yet she had been completely enamored with her studies. She was meant for the program. She had been especially looking forward to studying horse anatomy, with the hope of one day being able to travel to various nearby ranches to treat the cattle and horses that needed care.
There was no point thinking about that.
Sure, she wanted to be able to care for sick animals, but not at the cost of losing the ranch and the animals that she loved.
She took Styder into the barn and untacked him before heading back to the house.
She was surprised to find her dad sitting on the porch and watching her as she walked back to the house.
“You looked like you were having fun out there,” he said.
Kate hesitated, her hand on the porch rail. She knew her dad would have loved to be in that field riding.
He patted the chair next to him. “It’s okay, Katie, I like watching you ride. I’ve always loved watching you with the animals.”
She took a seat next to her dad. “It should be you out there.”
He shrugged. “It is what it is.”
She said nothing, staring out at the pastures, her dad quiet beside her.
“How was the Fort Worth Fourth last night?” he asked after a bit.
She smiled at the memory of the night before. “Good. I ate way too much fried food, floated the river, and watched the fireworks. I had a nice night.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “How’s Rowan?”
Kate blushed against her will at the mere mention of Rowan. “She’s good. I think she enjoyed the festival.”
She felt her dad’s eyes on her, and she turned to meet his gaze, raising an eyebrow at the intense look her dad was giving her.
“What?” she asked.
“I like Rowan,” he said.
She nodded. “So do I.”
“Then why do I hear hesitation in your voice when you talk about her?”
She looked back out to the pasture. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I always could read you like a book,” he said. “You’ve never been great at keeping things from me, and you’re a terrible liar.”
“It’s complicated,” she said.
“How so?”
The stress rose within her. “Daddy, she’s not from here. She doesn’t want to be from here. I see her trying to adjust to life in Texas, but trying to love Texas and actually loving Texas are two very different things.”
“Katie,” her dad said in that parenting tone that told her he was about to point out the flaws in her logic.
She shook her head and held out a hand to stop him. “No. Please don’t. Don’t tell me I’m wrong, or that I’m overthinking things, or whatever it is that you’re about to say. It might all be true, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of?”
“That she’s going to leave,” Kate said.
“Anyone could leave. She’s no more likely than anyone else.”
“Come on,” she said, the frustration growing within her. “You as much as anybody should understand what it’s like to love somebody who can’t feel home here.”
Warren Landreth was silent for a long time.
Kate fought the emotion within her as she thought back to her dad, wiping his own tears to explain to her that her mom had left. Only now, thinking about how she would feel if Rowan left, she felt his own pain as well as hers, and the intensity of the memory overwhelmed her.
“She’s not your mom, you know,” he said at last.
Embarrassment washed over Kate at her transparency, but voicing the fear didn’t diminish its power. “It’s exactly the same. You always said that Mom didn’t want to stay on the ranch. That she wanted to travel, see the world, live somewhere exciting. How is this different?”
“Your mom wasn’t happy here, and for the longest time I was able to tell myself it was because she wanted more than living on a Texas ranch, and maybe that was a part of it, but things had been rocky between us. It’s possible she’d have left anyway, but I’d be doing her and you an injustice if I didn’t own my role in her leaving. I worked too hard. I didn’t put in the effort. Ultimately, I didn’t make her happy.”
“She chose to leave us. Not just you. She left me. That’s on her, not you.”
She saw her dad shrug. “Maybe. But I don’t want you thinking it’s as black and white as your mom not liking Texas. I may not have been a great husband, but you’re an amazing daughter, and her leaving you is something I�
�ll never be able to comprehend.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
“Give Rowan a fair chance,” her dad said. “She may leave, it’s true. But don’t assume she will, just because it’s what your mother chose. They’re not the same, Katie.”
She nodded.
As if on cue, her phone rang and Rowan’s name lit up across the display. Despite the fears, she still smiled.
“It’s her?” Warren asked.
Kate nodded.
“Take the call,” he said, wheeling inside to give her some privacy.
Warning bells rang in her head, but the desire to talk to Rowan won.
“Hi.” Kate sank back into the porch chair.
“So, my neighbor has invited us to his birthday grilling party at our complex,” Rowan said, leaping straight into the conversation. “As in, you as my date. Attending as a couple. I know you want to take things slow, and I don’t want to make any presumptions, but if you’d like to join me, then I’d really like that.”
Kate smiled as she listened, and when Rowan finished she asked, “Are you done rambling?”
“Yes.”
“I’d love to go with you,” Kate said, despite the worry knotting in her stomach. “You know, as a couple.”
“Now you’re just mocking me and my nervousness,” Rowan said.
Kate smiled and rested her feet on the porch rails. “I would never.”
“I thought we could pop in for a little while, have a drink or two, get to know some of my neighbors, and then I could give you that cooking lesson I still owe you.”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten about that,” Kate said.
“Oh, I definitely did not forget. In fact, I’ve been planning what complicated recipe to start you on. I’m thinking something flambéed.” Rowan lowered her voice. “You’re not scared of fire are you?”
Kate swallowed hard, choosing to respond to the surface content of the words, not the underlying spark. “Is this about the horseback riding thing? Because a, you could have said no, and b, you enjoyed it.”
“And you’ll enjoy cooking with me. Trust me.”
Kate rolled her eyes at Rowan, who was stealing her own reassurances to use against her.
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