Volume 3 - The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi

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Volume 3 - The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 4

by Tanigawa Nagaru


  What was she trying to do this time?

  Then I understood at once.

  The bat swung, it was a home run.

  Nagato seemed to have just casually swung the bat, and struck the center of the pitcher’s fastball. The ball flew high up above the field, and finally disappeared at the back of the wall.

  I turned my gaze towards my teammates. Koizumi grinned elegantly and nodded to me; Asahina-san looked a bit stiff, but wasn’t surprised; while my sister and Tsuruya-san simply exclaimed, “Wow……”

  The others simply dropped their jaws and went into shock. Of course, it was the same for our opponents.

  Haruhi leapt joyously towards the home plate and tapped on the helmet of Nagato, who had just circled all the bases with a blank expression.

  “That was amazing! Where’d you get so much power from?”

  Haruhi pulled and twisted Nagato’s tiny arms excitedly. Nagato still remained expressionless and allowed Haruhi to have her way.

  A while later, Nagato walked towards the bench and handed the bat to me.

  “This…” She pointed to the old baseball bat and said, “Alteration in boost attribute data.”

  “What’s that mean?” I asked. Nagato looked at me for some time and said,

  “Homing mode.”

  She only said those words and walked back to the bench and sat at the corner, picking up a very thick book lying by the side and began to read it.

  The score was now 9-1. It was the first half of the fourth inning. Looks like this’ll be the last inning.

  The opposing pitcher still hasn’t recovered from the previous shock, but still managed to throw a good fastball towards me.

  Now I finally understood the meaning of Nagato’s words.

  “Whoa!”

  The bat moved on its own, my arms and shoulders were simply dragged along by it. Whack!

  I originally thought I merely scratched the ball, but I never would have imagined that the ball would have rode the wind and flew far up, it flew over the wall and lawn, and landed on the baseball field next door. It was a home run. I widened my jaw.

  Homing mode was really incredible……

  I threw away the bat, which was now installed with a automatic homing device and acceleration booster, and began to run.

  As I passed second base I turned to look at the bench. Haruhi’s hands were raised up and when our eyes met, she quickly turned away. You ought to celebrate wildly like Tsuruya-san and my sister! I saw Taniguchi and Kunikida looking shocked once again, while Asahina-san and Koizumi remained speechless, and our opponents simply exchanged glances with each other.

  I felt really sorry for them, but the shock suffered by our opponents refused to wear out.

  Next, my sister walked shakily towards the batter’s box. As the helmet was too big for her, nearly half of her face was covered up, so I can’t really blame her for not being able to maintain her balance. This trump card I specifically kept just for losing now swung her bat hitting the pitcher’s ball, and whacked the ball over the fence. In other words, she too has hit a home run.

  No matter how crazy things get, there was a limit to ridiculousness. For an 11-year-old fifth grade schoolgirl to whack a ball, which was thrown by a college student at the speed of 130 km/h (according to my instincts), over the fence - in reality it was just plain impossible.

  “That’s amazing!”

  Haruhi never doubted this twisted reality one little bit. She took my sister’s hand and danced wildly with her and smiled merrily,

  “That’s an incredible talent! You have a bright future ahead! You’ll be in the Baseball League in no time!”

  My sister let Haruhi swing her around madly while screaming joyously.

  How should I say this? ……Hmm, the score was now 9-3.

  I was now sitting on the bench and wrapping my head with my hands.

  Our home run onslaught continued. The score was now 9-7. Seven continuous home runs in one inning, I guess we’ve set a new tournament record.

  After hitting a blast, Taniguchi ran back to the bench saying,

  “I’ve decided to join the Baseball Team. I never knew I had it in me, I feel that entering Koushien is no longer a dream. I even felt that it was the bat itself that hit the ball!”

  Next to him, Kunikida also naively said, “Yeah, that’s true!”

  They sure looked excited, while Tsuruya-san slapped the shoulder of Asahina-san, who suddenly felt nervous for no reason, while laughing loudly. I’m glad the three of them are so simple minded.

  “Now’s the time to really show them our colors!”

  Haruhi lifted the bat and said. Shouldn’t this be the pitcher’s line?

  I was beginning to grow tired of the whacking noises, as the balls kept flying towards the scoreboard and bouncing off of it.

  It was now 9-8. Until now, the opponent has switched three pitchers. I’m sure they didn’t want my sympathy, but I still decided to pity them. Poor guys.

  The batting order rotated once again, and Asahina-san, Nagato and I all made consecutive home runs. Finally the score was reversed 9-11 in our favor. Eleven consecutive home runs…… I began to think that this needs to be stopped quickly, since I’ve discovered that our opponents weren’t looking at us, instead their gazes were concentrated on this baseball bat. Could they have mistaken this for some magic bat? Though it was natural for them to think that way.

  Before handing the bat to my sister the next batter, I brought Nagato, who was reading her book at the corner of the bench, out for a talk.

  “This is enough.”

  I said. It was rare to see Nagato’s expressionless eyes blinking many times, she normally blinks every ten seconds or so.

  “I see.”

  She replied, then placed her tiny fingers over the tip of the bat I was holding and quickly chanted something. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to understand anyway.

  After quickly withdrawing her fingers from the bat, Nagato said nothing and quietly returned to her position on the bench and opened her book again.

  Argh!

  When my sister, Koizumi and Kunikida went up to strike again, it was as though their previous home runs never happened, as they all missed the ball and were all struck out consecutively. In fact, this was all due to cheating through advanced technology.

  I forgot to mention, there’s a time limit of ninety minutes for the games in this tournament, this rule was inevitable if the organizers wanted to complete all the matches within the day. And so, there would be no next inning for this game. We’ll win this game if it ends at the second half of the fourth inning.

  Must we really win this?

  “We have to,” Koizumi said, “My colleagues have called, they say thanks to our efforts, the Sealed Dimension seems to have ceased expanding. Though it may have stopped growing, the ‘Avatars’ are still there, so we still need to think of an idea to clean up this mess. But it’s definitely good news that the Sealed Dimension has stopped expanding,”

  However, if our opponents managed to turn things around, we would all meet our Waterloo. I was not prepared to use my imagination to guess what mood Haruhi will be in then.

  “That’s why I have a suggestion,”

  Koizumi revealed his white teeth, they were so bright I would recommend him to do a toothbrush commercial, and whispered his suggestion into my ear.

  “Are you serious?”

  “I’m very serious. If we are to keep the loss in runs at a minimum, this is the only way.”

  I have to exclaim this once again - Argh!

  We requested the umpire to allow us to make changes to our fielding lineup.

  Nagato would replace Koizumi as the catcher, Koizumi would move to the center field, while I swapped positions with Haruhi and was now standing on the pitcher’s mound.

  When Koizumi asked Haruhi to relinquish her pitcher’s position, she pouted for a while until she realized that I would be replacing her, to w
hich she gave me a complicated look and said,

  “……Well, all right then. But if your pitches get hit, you’ll have to treat everyone for lunch!”

  She said while withdrawing to her position on second base.

  Nagato simply stood there looking dazed, so Koizumi and I had to help her put on her chest protector and shin guards. Was it really appropriate for someone without any emotional upheaval to play the catcher?

  Nagato walked in strides towards the back of the home plate and knelt down.

  And so, the match resumed. As we were running out of time, I didn’t even have time to warm up my pitching skills. Looks like I’ll have to face my first time ever as a pitcher head on with such short notice.

  Might as well pitch and see what happens.

  Swoosh!

  The ball which I spent all my strength pitching landed into Nagato’s glove without any force. Bad ball.

  “Be serious!”

  The one yelling wildly was Haruhi. I’m always dead serious. This time I decided to try a curveball.

  Second pitch. I really wish my opponents could be fooled by me once in a while, but to no avail. The bat swerved hardly towards my powerless ball. It’s over. My pitch was just not good enough……

  “Strike one!”

  The umpire announced loudly. The batter completely missed the ball. A strike was inevitable, yet the batter looked at Nagato’s glove in disbelief.

  I understood how he felt. His reaction was expected, as my weak pitch suddenly lowered its flight path by about thirty centimeters just before it was hit by the bat, no one was going to believe that just hearing it.

  “……”

  Nagato remained squatted and only moved her fingers slightly to send the ball back to me. I received the wobbling ball, then went into my pitching stance again.

  No matter how many times I pitched, I could only manage a semi-straight ball. The third pitch was wide off the mark - it was supposed to be like that, but after flying for a few yards the ball corrected its route and bent sharply, totally ignoring the laws of inertia, gravity and aerodynamics. It even accelerated as it charged into the catcher’s glove.

  Smack! Nagato’s frail body shook a little bit.

  The batter now widened his eyes, even the umpire was speechless for a moment. After a while, he announced not quite so confidently,

  “Strike two!”

  This was getting out of hand, hurry up and finish this!

  I was already beginning to slack off as I pitched wildly without even aiming or putting any strength into the pitch. Yet, if the batter didn’t swing his bat, my pitches would always end up as a strike; if he attempted to swing the bat, he would end up missing the ball without even brushing its surface.

  The secret lies with Nagato making her incantations every time I pitched. As this secret was so big, not even I knew how it works exactly. Perhaps she did the same thing to the bat as when she saved my life and made the classroom reappear, altering its data.

  Thanks to this, I now felt like pitching towards an electric fan. Today’s MVP has got to be Nagato Yuki.

  Very soon our opponent suffered two strike outs, and their third batter was now one strike away from being struck out as well. Was it okay for me to play such a decisive character so easily? I’m so sorry, Kamigahara Pirates.

  I neither exerted a lot of force, nor did I made any special considerations as I threw my final pitch towards the pale-faced batter.

  The ball changed course and flew towards the strike zone. The batter swung his bat with all his might. The ball changed direction again and became a rising fastball. The bat swerved around again, leaving a residual image in the air. Three strike outs. Phew, it’s finally over…… Or not.

  “!”

  The ball kept bouncing towards the netting behind the catcher. Maybe the pitch was too smooth and went slightly out of control after bending. It tapped off Nagato’s glove, and the magic ball (according to me anyway) bounced up like a foul ball behind home plate and rolled at an impossible angle.

  A wild pitch.

  The batter took this golden opportunity and sprinted quickly. Yet Nagato still held her glove and remain fixed on her position squatting aimlessly.

  “Nagato! Go pick up the ball!”

  Nagato looked expressionlessly at me giving a command, and she slowly stood up and walked towards the rolling ball. The batter has stepped on first base and was about to get into second base.

  “Hurry!”

  Haruhi stood at second base waving her glove frantically.

  Nagato finally caught up with the ball and picked up the soft baseball as though she were examining a turtle egg, and turned to look at me.

  “Second base!”

  I pointed to the direction behind me, where Haruhi was yelling. Nagato nodded “slightly” at me in centimeters……

  Swoosh! A white beam flashed past my head, taking a few strands of my hair. I then saw the glove fly off from Haruhi’s hand. The ball remained squeezed inside the glove as it flew towards center field. I then realized Nagato had merely moved her wrist a little when she threw that.

  After seeing the glove vanish suddenly from her hand, Haruhi widened her eyes. As for the batter, perhaps the sight was just too horrifying for him, he was lying on all fours before he reached second base.

  Koizumi the center fielder picked up the glove and took out the ball, then walked over carrying that universal smile of his. He then touched the ball on the batter, while apologizing at the same time,

  “I’m really sorry. We just happen to be quite a disorganized group,”

  Don’t include me in that illogical group as well. I thought as I sighed deeply.

  The game was over.

  The players of the Kamigahara Pirates all broke into tears. I wasn’t sure what was going on, maybe they were worried about being berated by their team’s graduated seniors? Or perhaps they were just gutted at losing to what was mostly a female rag-tag high school squad that even has an elementary schoolgirl in it? Or maybe it’s even both?

  On the other hand, without even standing in the shoes of the vanquished, Haruhi looked absolutely delighted. She carried a bright smile like the one she had when deciding to create the SOS Brigade and said,

  “We’ll go on all the way, and then march into the Summer Koushien! Being the national champion is no longer a dream!”

  She shouted seriously. Only Taniguchi cheered with her. I wasn’t about to break any more sweat, and I’m sure the High School Baseball Federation must be feeling the same.

  “Great work,”

  Koizumi suddenly appeared by my side. “Speaking of which, what should we do next? Continue with the second game?”

  I shook my head and said, “To sum it up, if we lose again, Haruhi’s gonna be unhappy, right? That also means we’ll have to keep on winning, which means we would require help from Nagato’s magic. It’s going to become bothersome if we keep ignoring the laws of physics. Let’s forfeit!”

  “I thought so as well. In fact, I think I’d better go help my colleagues. In order to eliminate the Sealed Dimension, they’re still short of the people required to beat up the ‘Avatars.’”

  “Say hi to those blue guys for me.”

  “I will. By the way, I’ve learned from this matter that we must not let Suzumiya-san get bored again. We should seriously consider this fact.”

  “Well, I’m counting on you.” Koizumi said, then went to the organizers to request a forfeit.

  He keeps stuffing me with these troublesome tasks with such a straight face, I really can’t stand him anymore.

  I went to tap Haruhi on the back as she was forcefully making Asahina-san dance crazily with her,

  “What? You want to dance as well?”

  “I have something to tell you.”

  I brought Haruhi to the outside of the field, I never thought she would obediently follow though.

  “Look at them.” I pointed to the Kamigahara Pirates players, who were all sitting dejectedl
y on the bench. “Don’t you think they deserve some pity?”

  “What for?”

  “I believe that they have gone through lots of blood and sweat just to train hard for this day. They have been winners for four consecutive years, I’m sure they’re feeling a lot of pressure within them.”

  “So?”

  “They’ve probably got bench warmers crying as well. Look at that guy with the marine crew-cut standing behind the side netting, that’s the disappointment I’m talking about. Don’t you find that sad?”

  “They’ve probably got bench warmers crying as well. Look at that guy with the marine crew-cut standing behind the side netting, that’s the disappointment I’m talking about. Don’t you find that sad? He’ll probably never get a chance to come on the field again.”

  “And so?”

  “So let’s forfeit!”

  I said it matter-of-factly.

  “You’ve probably played enough as well right? I don’t feel like playing anymore, honestly. I’d rather we all have lunch and chat together. Frankly speaking, my limbs are shaking from exhaustion now.”

  It was true. Because I was running between infield and outfield all the time, I was exhausted physically and mentally as well.

  From being pleased with herself, Haruhi now pouted like Donald Duck and stared quietly at me with her eyes. Just as I was about to lose my breath……

  “You’re okay with that?”

  Yup. Asahina-san and Koizumi, maybe even Nagato were feeling the same way as well. My sister has been practicing with her bat swings ever since the beginning, but if you give her a piece of candy, she’ll immediately throw away the bat.

  “Hmph.”

  Haruhi looked at me, then looked at the baseball field. After thinking for a while, or maybe she was pretending to think for a while, she smiled pleasantly at me,

  “All right then, I’m getting hungry anyway, let’s have lunch! I never thought baseball would be such a simple sport, we won too easily!”

  Is that so?

  I didn’t argue with her, and merely shrugged my shoulders.

 

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