“An island! And a mansion! There’s nothing better than this for an SOS Brigade trip. At this rate, we’re headed for a perfect summer vacation.”
As Haruhi got more animated, the rest of the brigade could only watch in silence.
Besides rocking along the waves on the ship’s deck, there was nothing else to do, so we followed Koizumi’s suggestion and played Go Fish. Koizumi, who lost from start to finish, had to buy drinks for the five of us. I collected my drink and drank silently.
I just couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about this lone island awaiting us. Asahina-san seemed to feel the same as well.
Haruhi said after finishing her juice in two gulps,
“Mikuru-chan, you look terrible, are you seasick?”
“No……that……ah, maybe.”
Asahina-san replied, Haruhi then said,
“That won’t do, you’d better get some fresh air. It’s great enjoying the sea breeze out on the deck. C’mon, let’s go!”
She then grabbed Asahina-san’s hand and smiled,
“Don’t worry, I won’t push you into the sea. Hmm……though that’s not a bad idea. The sudden disappearance of a female passenger.”
“Eh!?”
Haruhi slapped Asahina-san’s stiffened shoulders.
“Just kidding! That wouldn’t be fun at all. It’d be exciting if the ship were to hit an iceberg or get attacked by a giant squid. I’m not the sort that likes to get everyone in trouble just so I can have fun!”
I think I’d better check where the lifeboats are located. Of course, I don’t suppose an iceberg would come that near to the seas of Japan in the middle of summer, but it’s possible that unknown marine creatures might attack suddenly. I glared at Koizumi: If a monster attacks, we’re counting on you! I don’t know how he read my thoughts, but he replied with a smile, while Nagato just stared at the wall.
Haruhi continued endlessly,
“The best events are of course left for the island! Koizumi, will I be disappointed?”
“There’s no exact definition of what constitutes an event.”
Koizumi said smoothly,
“I, too, am hoping for an enjoyable trip.”
Koizumi revealed an enigmatic smile. Though this was his usual expression, I stared hard at the esper, trying to figure out what was behind that smiling mask. I soon gave up. This guy’s smile is like Nagato’s blank expression - impossible to read anything from. Really, he ought to show more emotion as well. Of course, not as blatantly as Haruhi.
Haruhi hummed a song she made up herself while dragging Asahina-san away from the cabin. Asahina-san turned around repeatedly, hoping that I would come along; perhaps I was thinking too much then, but I didn’t want to ruin Haruhi’s mood, so I let them go.
No matter how insane Haruhi is, just before Asahina-san fell into the sea, she would save her. I prayed and stared at the ceiling, then used my bag as a pillow and lay down. It’s going to be an early morning tomorrow, so I’d better get some sleep.
I dreamed about myself doing something strange, but just as I was about to wonder what it was, I was woken up by the commanding airwaves of Haruhi,
“Stop sleeping, you idiot! Get up already! Are you really in the mood for this trip at all? If you’re already sleeping on the trip, then what can we expect from you?”
It seems while I was asleep, the ferry had almost arrived at the interchange island. I felt as if I had just suffered an irretrievable loss.
“The first step is the most important! You lack the heart to enjoy things. Look at everyone else. Their expectations for this trip show in the glittering in their eyes!”
I followed the direction of Haruhi’s finger towards the three servants preparing to carry their luggage off the ferry.
The smiling youth said,
“Give him a break, Suzumiya-san, he’s trying to save up energy for the trip. Who knows, he’s probably going to spend all night thinking of how to entertain us next!”
I listened to Koizumi’s irrelevant explanation, while observing Nagato’s puppet like face and Asahina-san’s puppy dog eyes, trying to find the so called glitter within their eyes.
“We’re there already?” I muttered.
On a long boat trip, with the SOS Brigade members around…No, let’s leave the others aside. I had given in to my desire and taken a long nap. As a result I missed my chance to spend time with Asahina-san inside the elegant looking cabin.
Damn, this is so frustrating. How could I let my summer vacation be over like that? So far, my only memories of this vacation have been playing Go Fish. Shouldn’t I have been doing something more interesting on the ferry? Like sharing each other’s thoughts on the deck while the sea wind blew softly?
I really felt like kicking my past self in the chest for being so sleepy.
I clutched my half-drowsy head as I condemned myself endlessly.
Click!
A bright light made me go dizzy.
I turned my gaze towards the direction of the sound, only to see Asahina-san holding a camera, with an adorable smile on her angelic face,
“Hee hee! I’ve taken a picture of you waking up.”
She had the face of a pre-school kid who just pulled off a prank.
“I’ve also taken photos of you sleeping. You must have slept soundly.”
Suddenly, I felt revived. Why was Asahina-san secretly taking pictures of me? Could it be that she wanted my photos that badly? Does she intend to place my photo in a cute frame and put it by her pillow, so she can say ‘good night’ to me every night? Yes, that’s not a bad thought at all.
Seriously, if you had wanted my photo, I would have gladly posed for you! Even if I had to give you my photo album which I misplaced somewhere, I wouldn’t have minded at all.
However, as I was making such a suggestion, Asahina-san handed the instant camera to Haruhi.
“Kyon, what are you grinning at? You look like a moron. Best wipe that off your face.”
Haruhi started looking as if she wanted to sell some exclusive pictures to a newspaper. She then stuffed the camera into her bag.
“I’ve had Mikuru-chan be the stand-in photographer for the SOS Brigade. These photos are not for play! What I want is a record of the SOS Brigade’s activities for our descendants to revisit. This silly girl just felt like taking useless pictures, so she has to listen to my directions from now on.”
Then, what informational value is there in taking pictures of me sleeping and waking up?
“Since you have no sense of urgency, I’m going to spread pictures of you sleeping like a moron all over as a cautionary tale! Listen! It’s immoral and against the brigade rules for the subordinates to sleep soundly when the commander isn’t sleeping!”
Haruhi stared at me with a face I wasn’t sure was laughing or scowling. I knew it was useless asking her when she came up with such rules, it’s not going to be written anyway. I might as well play along.
“Alright. What you mean is that if we don’t want to have our faces drawn on, we aren’t allowed to sleep before you, right? In that case, if I sleep after you, does that mean I can draw a mustache on your face?”
“What are you saying? Do you actually intend to do such childish acts? Let me put this straight, I can be very alert. I can retaliate even when asleep. Besides, you’ll be risking the death penalty if you try to do anything foolish to the commander.”
Hey, Haruhi, the number of advanced countries still carrying out capital punishment is actually in the minority. What do you think of that?
“Why should I comment on other countries’ penalty systems? What matters is not some foreign country, but the island we’re going to!”
I prayed that nothing would happen, while pulling my bag over.
The ship shook roughly. Maybe it’s about to dock already. The other passengers were already headed to the exit in groups of two and three.
“A mysterious island, huh……?”
What kind of island awaits us? Just don�
��t let it be some island that suddenly appeared on the sea, or one that drifted away suddenly.
“Don’t worry.”
Koizumi nodded as though he’d just read my mind,
“There’s nothing special about the island, just that it’s far from land. There’re no monsters or mad scientists, that I can guarantee.”
This guy’s guarantees mean nothing to me. I silently looked at Nagato’s pale face questioningly.
“……”
Nagato also silently replied to me. If there were monsters appearing, she would probably help us beat them off. I’m counting on you, alien.
The ship shook abruptly again.
“Kyaa!”
Without even flinching, Nagato caught Asahina-san, who had lost her balance and nearly fallen over.
There awaiting our arrival were a butler and maid.
“Hi, Arakawa-san, it’s been a while.”
Koizumi said loudly, raising his arm to greet them.
“You too, Mori-san. Thanks for going to the trouble to pick us up.”
Koizumi then turned and looked at us with, our jaws wide open, then shrugged his arms ridiculously like a stage actor trying to impress his audience, his grin four times wider than usual.
“Allow me to introduce them. Arakawa-san and Mori-san are the butler and maid of the new mansion, and will be in charge of taking care of us. Ah yes, you must’ve already guessed that by their attire.”
It was easy to guess. I looked at the two figures who stood still after having bowed to us. I guess in this situation, the right word would be “captivating.”
“It must have been a long trip for everyone. I am Arakawa the butler.”
The old gentleman with white hair, mustache, and eyebrows, dressed in a tuxedo greeted us and bowed again.
“I’m the maid, Mori Sonou. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
The lady standing beside him also bowed at the same angle, and then both raised their heads at the same time. One wonders if they’ve drilled this countless times.
Arakawa-san looked elderly, but it was difficult to tell his exact age; while Mori-san looked very young. She looked about our age, or was she just putting on make-up to make herself look younger? Or maybe she was born with such a youthful look?
“Butler and maid?”
Haruhi murmured in surprise; my reaction was the same as hers. I never knew these professions existed in Japan. I always thought they only had a conceptual existence, having already been fossilized.
I see. It seems the two people standing gracefully behind Koizumi are genuinely butler and maid. They look so much like it, at least after hearing their self-introductions, one would think, Ah……I see. They’re the real thing. Especially the maid, Mori-san, if I remember correctly. No matter how you look, she’s still a maid. Because she’s dressed in proper maid attire. This comes from my many months of experience observing Asahina-san dressed in her maid costume every day in the club room, so I can guarantee this. And Arakawa-san and Mori-san don’t look like they’re dressed like that just to entertain Haruhi, but are really dressed for their profession.
“Wah……”
Asahina-san gave a gasp and simply stared at them with awe - more specifically, she was staring at Mori-san. She was half awestruck and 30% troubled. What about the remaining 20%? I believe she was a bit envious. After being forced by Haruhi to wear that costume every day, she must have subconsciously begun to enjoy being a maid.
Nagato didn’t give any expression at this moment, and her face remained the same. Yet her black obsidian eyes remained transfixed on those two professionals.
“Now then……”
Arakawa-san invited us with his opera tenor-like voice,
“The boat is prepared to take us to our master’s island. The trip shall take about half an hour. As it’s a lone island, I do apologize for any inconvenience caused.”
Mori-san bowed as well. I felt itchy all over for some reason. I really wanted to tell them that we weren’t really that important to deserve having them serve us so elegantly. Could Koizumi be the son of some billionaire? I had thought this guy was just an esper who could only use his powers irregularly. I wonder if he has people calling him “Young Master” every time he comes home?
“I don’t really mind!”
Haruhi said in a cheerful voice, blowing off all my questions. As I looked carefully, Haruhi had the smile of someone who has just conned some ignorant sponsor to fund her movie. Hmm……
“That’s more like it, a lone island! We wouldn’t mind if it took a few hours, let alone half an hour! A lone island in the middle of the ocean is just where I wanted to go. Kyon, Mikuru-chan, you two should be happy. There’s a mansion on the island, and a weird butler and maid as well! You probably wouldn’t find a second island like this in the whole of Japan!”
There won’t be a second island.
“Wah! T…this is great……I…I can’t wait!”
Leaving Asahina-san, who was being forced by Haruhi to pretend to be excited, aside, for Haruhi to actually call someone “weird” in front of their faces is just plain rude. Yet those two just smiled. Maybe they were weird in some way.
Man, what’s weird is this whole trip. And when it comes to weirdness, the SOS Brigade is leagues ahead of everyone, so I’m not qualified to criticize other people. Though I can’t just let Haruhi get away with everything like that.
I looked at Koizumi, who was chatting away with Arakawa-san the butler, while Mori-san stood by silently with her hands clasped, staring quietly towards the sea ahead. The sea looked calm, and the skies were clear. Don’t think a typhoon will be coming soon.
Will we ever return to the Japanese mainland in one piece?
Nagato’s calm poker face just seems so reliable all the time. I felt so useless.
Arakawa-san and Mori-san led us to a small dock not far from the harbor. I had originally imagined seeing a small boat, but there ahead of us was parked a private speedboat, moving gently and idyllically on the waves. The speedboat looked so posh that I dared not ask how much it cost. I suddenly had the urge to go fishing on board that boat.
Thanks to my daydreaming, when I saw Koizumi escorting both Asahina-san, who was astounded by the sight of the speedboat, and Nagato, who just stared blankly at it - but not counting Haruhi, who had leaped on at once on board the boat - I felt a deep sense of regret that my time had passed, never to return. That was supposed to be my job!
We were led into the cabin, and before we could even begin to admire how a boat can have a western style kitchen, the speedboat had begun its departure from the port. It seems that butlers these days all have speedboat licenses, as Arakawa-san was the one driving it.
Mori-san sat opposite me with a gentle smile on her face, as though she were a decoration in the boat. The maid costume looked trendy and dangerous at the same time. I felt that her maid attire was thinner than the costume that Haruhi made Asahina-san wear in the club room every day, but as I’m not too familiar with the maid profession, I wasn’t too sure about that.
I wasn’t the only one looking uneasy. Asahina-san was the same as well. She had been staring at the maid’s costume for some time now, looking very nervous. Does she intend to study how a maid really behaves so she can learn some new tricks to use back in the club room? She’s the sort of person who is serious about the most unexpected things.
Nagato sat facing the front, not moving at all. Koizumi had a casual expression, and remained as smiling as ever.
“This is a good boat, perhaps fishing wouldn’t be a bad idea?” Who is he suggesting that to anyway?
As for Haruhi……
“Hey, do you know what the mansion is called?”
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
“Is it called something like The House of the Black Death, the Lilas Manor, Koketsu Castle, or the sort?”
“Nothing of the sort.”
“Have there been any frightening stories like the mansion having a
lot of hidden traps, or the architect being murdered, or a room where none may leave alive?”
“I haven’t heard of any.”
“Then, are there stories of the owner wearing a mask, or having three weird sisters living within his mind, and then vanishing without a trace?”
“No.” The butler added, “Not yet, anyway.”
“Then, does that mean it’s possible these things might happen some day?”
“Perhaps.”
Is this butler trying to please her?
As the boat sped off, Haruhi had crawled onto the deck and had the above conversation with Arakawa-san. From the contents of the dialogue I could hear over the sounds of the engine and waves, Haruhi seemed to have excessive expectations about the island’s mansion. Speaking of which, why does she want so many strange specifications like an island far away from land? Isn’t it enough to just swim, walk around, get to know each other better, and then return happily? I was hoping for that.
Perhaps it’s too late already.
I never thought there would be a butler and a maid. This is more unexpected than being attacked by a shark in a public swimming pool. So I probably won’t be surprised if the owner of the mansion wears a mask or has other weird looking guests. What other surprises does Koizumi have in store for us?
“Ah! I see it! Is that the villa?”
“It’s the mansion.”
Haruhi’s scream boomed like thunder and pierced through my heart.
The mansion looked quite ordinary from the outside.
The sun slowly tilted towards the west, but it was still some time before dusk. The mansion basked in the light of the setting sun. It seemed to shine with splendor; I’d always believed I’d never set foot in such a place.
The building at the top of the steep hill looked just like something a rich person would build as a summer getaway. There was nothing suspicious about its architecture. It didn’t look like any medieval European castle, it didn’t have red thorny roses surrounding its outer walls, and there were no strange looking towers attached to it - and of course, no ghosts.
Volume 3 - The Boredom of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 14