“Rafe can be quite unexpected,” Ky said. She felt Hera’s slight relaxation.
“That he can,” Gary said. He glanced at Rafe, a look somewhere between fatherly and mischievous. “But I understand you, too, can be unexpected.”
“It’s considered appropriate in commanders,” Ky said, rocking back on her heels for a moment. “Surprise being one of the principles of successful warfare.”
Rafe snorted; this time his grin looked natural. Gary shook his head. “You told me, Rafe, but I didn’t believe it. And this is the woman—”
“Enough,” Rafe said. “Or I’ll be late for the meeting. Ky, you’ll excuse me. If the alliance holds, we may meet again to discuss the status of the ISC fleet.” He nodded, turned away; Gary shrugged and followed.
“The woman—?” Hera said. “Is he talking about you, Admiral?”
“Rafe has probably told him that I’m an innocent child-warrior with a ramrod up her rear,” Ky said, more annoyed than she wanted to admit. “And he’s surprised to find that I’m not sixteen or something.”
“I’m not sure I like this place,” Hera said, leaving that topic firmly behind. “It’s so polite, I keep thinking something else is going on.”
“Trade and profit,” Ky said. “I know that much.”
“Where there’s money, there’s trouble,” Hera said. “Spies, thieves, crooks of all kinds…if Turek doesn’t have agents here, I’ll be very surprised.”
“He certainly did,” Ky said. “Toby fell in love with the daughter of one, and there’s no knowing if the locals ferreted out all of them. But I don’t think they’ll do anything on the station, do you? Not after they caught Zori’s father.”
“If they can. Get rid of you, they’ve gotten rid of someone they already know is a dangerously efficient commander.” Hera paused. “Ma’am, if you don’t mind…what do you really think of that man?”
“Rafe’s bodyguard?”
“No…Ser Dunbarger. He’s…he’s different than I remember him. What do you think?”
“I think he’s gotten stuffy and boring,” Ky said. She was appalled at her own honesty, but she went on. “He was a rogue, that much was obvious before, but at least he was entertaining, and he’d quit treating me like an imbecile. And he gave me good advice. But now—I guess he’s distancing himself from all that—from everything in his life as it used to be, and I’m—I was—part of that life. I don’t think it’s just the present diplomatic problem.” She felt sad, even hollow. It wasn’t as bad as what Hal had done, but it hurt in the same places.
Hera started to say something, then very obviously stopped herself. Ky didn’t want to think more about Rafe, about the bond she had been sure they had, but she could not quite push him out of mind.
“Quite a woman,” Gary said, when they were out of earshot. “So that’s the infamous Ky Vatta…”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Rafe said. Seeing Stella again had been difficult enough, but for both of them their official positions as heads of their respective enterprises had enforced a business attitude. No doubt at all that Stella was well over him, that he could not shake her sense of self—not that he wanted to, these days—and he had never been that connected to her. But seeing Ky—realizing that he had not forgotten the least detail of her face, her expressions, even her smell—that shook him. It was impossible.
“She’s not what I expected,” Gary said.
“And what did you expect?” Rafe asked.
“From your family and the gossips at ISC, some hard-faced, overmuscled criminal type. From her cousin, a juvenile military martinet.”
“How did you read her, then?”
“I’m not sure. The military part shows, and clearly she’s young—in years anyway—but there’s something else. I’d say she’s a natural killer—”
“She is,” Rafe said.
“And you would know. Yes, well, she’s not as one-dimensional as your family and her cousin seem to see her…she expected more from you, you know.”
“I know.” Rafe walked on. “I expected…I don’t know…that it would be different.”
“What? You, her, the meeting?”
“All of those.” Once, he had imagined a meeting that ended with a life together, a life that suited both of them.
Gary gave a sharp nod. “You want her.”
“I…did.”
“Do. Come on, Rafe, I’ve known you for years. Even the years you weren’t there, I’ll bet I could name the scams you pulled, the messes you got into…”
“You always did have good intel,” Rafe said. He could feel the back of his neck heating up.
“Did you ever try with her?”
“Once. She dumped me on my back.”
“You are doomed,” Gary said. Rafe glanced at him; he was grinning, without losing any of his concentration on their surroundings. “Man like you, woman who can meet him head-on…you are doomed. She might be the making of you, though.”
“I can’t,” Rafe said.
“Why? You’re not that much older; it wouldn’t be cradle-robbing.”
“She has her life; she needs to concentrate on it…and politically, right now—you know how the Vattas are regarded on Nexus.”
“And maybe she wouldn’t want you? Or maybe at some level you wonder if your family’s right about the Vattas?”
“Not that. Never that. Not about the Vattas as a whole, and absolutely not Ky. But I can’t subject her to that kind of situation, where others are suspicious of her.” He took a breath. “And anyway, she’s busy.”
“And you’re busy, and the beauteous Stella is busy, and everyone’s busy…right, there’s a war on, I’m not forgetting that.” Gary’s opinion of that excuse stung.
“I thought at first…she was too young, too straitlaced…I really didn’t have any interest in her beyond teasing her, trying to get her off balance—”
“I tell you again, Rafe, you’re doomed.”
“It’s not me. I haven’t been…that way…”
“In love?”
Rafe felt the heat in his neck rise to his face. “Whatever you want to call it. Interested in that way, anyway. For a long time, if ever. I never thought about marriage—what did I have to offer, renegade of the family, living on the edge? And why would I, anyway? I was having too much fun.”
“I understand,” Gary said. “When I finally settled down, it came as a surprise to me, too. And now I have children—”
“You?”
“Yes. Carefully kept away from the business. But I see them whenever I’m not on a job. Their mother—well, she’s not exactly like your Ky—”
“She’s not my Ky.”
“Yet. Thing is, men like us have to find women who understand men like us, and will stick with us anyway.”
“She’s not—”
“Rafe…” Gary shook his head, then went on. “You may not be the snake I thought you were—at least, not to people you care about—but you still don’t get it. That’s a remarkable woman. She was looking at you that way—”
“I didn’t see it—”
“Your body did.”
Rafe struggled with the combined desire to scream out loud or clobber Gary, neither of which was a good idea on Cascadia. He tried to pull the Ratanvi identity out of its drawer and put it on, but it didn’t fit now. He was here as himself, as his father’s heir, the head of ISC. What worked with Stella, the CEO persona, wouldn’t work now.
“Tell me,” he said, hating the timbre of desperation in his voice, “that she didn’t see that.”
“Oh, I don’t mean that way,” Gary said. “You can relax about that part.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m trained to read people and I read them very well. The little signs…they were all there. You knew, or your body knew, that she knew that she wanted you, and you chose to ignore it. She’s not going to be happy about that.”
She wouldn’t be. She would think he’d snubbed her. She would try to explai
n it to herself as her fault—she’d mistaken the earlier interest, it was all on her side. She would, being Ky, take herself in hand, lock down her shields, blaming herself…
“I should talk to Stella,” Rafe said.
“You should put your head in a meat grinder, you mean,” Gary said. “Talk to the family? Now I know for sure you’re doomed. The old Rafe would know better than that without thinking about it. It’s not even lust—it’s love.”
“It’s a mess,” Rafe said. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You let her alone,” Stella said. They had scheduled a meeting to discuss the manufacture of the new ansibles; the Nexus government wanted them badly enough to pay a premium for the right to have them made on Nexus. That business done, Rafe had mentioned that he’d met Ky briefly. Stella stiffened at once and pounced.
“I’m not doing anything,” Rafe said.
“No? You’re certainly exuding interest in that direction. And she doesn’t need to be hurt again.”
Rafe felt a surge of irrational anger. “Who hurt her? You mentioned that once before—”
“It’s none of your business. It happened while she was in the Academy—or rather, after she was kicked out.”
Rafe sat very still, refraining from saying that though it was none of his business, Stella seemed ready to share the gossip.
“I don’t know much about the man,” Stella went on, lacing her fingers. “A fellow cadet, I know that much. I heard her father telling my father about it…he approved, I think. Family not as wealthy as ours, but respectable. Ranked very high, like Ky. Hal, I think his name was; I don’t remember the rest of it. My father said he might be after Ky for her money, but her father said not.” She looked at Rafe. “Am I boring you?”
“No. But you said it wasn’t my business.”
“It’s not. It’s just…I saw the letter. She forgot, left it behind in the ship after she transferred to Osman’s. As a breakup letter it was about as nasty as you can imagine. Clearly distancing himself from whatever trouble she was in. Insulting—even sent back her class ring all mutilated.” Stella quoted a few of the juicier phrases. “I kept it, in case she ever remembers she left it there and wants it.”
“Stupid young twit,” Rafe said, in as light a voice as he could manage, while rage blurred his vision. He could imagine the depth of pain that would cause a woman like Ky; his knuckles ached to meet the fellow’s face.
“Yes. Scared, too, I think. Ky stirred up a political storm, you see, just trying to do a good deed. But my point is, Rafe, that she’s been hurt, and she doesn’t need your kind of man upsetting her.”
“I would never…,” Rafe began. Stella held up her hand.
“Rafe, even granting that you may have changed enough to take over at ISC and act the part of a respectable corporate executive, I know you too well…you might not intend to hurt her, but you would.”
“Because…?”
“Because you are not serious about her.” Stella held up her hand again, though he had said nothing. “You have never been serious about anyone, though I admit you now seem to be serious about ISC. And your own family, perhaps. But you are not serious about Ky; I do not see you giving up what you have now—ISC, your family—to court and marry her and be with her for the rest of your life and hers. Can you tell me that’s what you’re thinking?”
He was not thinking…he was feeling, and what he felt was outside his experience and his expectation. “I love her,” he found himself saying.
“You think you love her,” Stella said. “But if you do, it’s as a little sister—”
“No,” Rafe said, ignoring the upraised hand. “I have a little sister, a little sister I care for and protect. What I feel for Ky is not that.” He took a deep breath, looking past Stella at the Vatta Transport logo on the wall behind her, then met her eyes again. “It’s up to me and to Ky herself, Stella, what we do. Not you.”
She grimaced. “I was afraid you’d start sounding like Toby and his girlfriend. Rafe, you’re too old for that nonsense. You have responsibilities, as have I. Ky has responsibilities—and if she’s distracted by you, or anyone else, we may all be lost. You cannot—you must not—distract her.”
“I thought of that—I did,” he said, when she looked dubious. “It’s why I didn’t tell her anything. But the war will be over, one way or the other…”
“You’re not right for her, Rafe. She needs someone with the same interests, the same expertise. She’s not ever going to be a corporate wife.”
“That’s her decision.” Stella just looked at him. Rafe shrugged. “I know. She’s not—but I don’t want her to be…to be like my mother or anything. I do care, I do…love…her.”
“Then let her alone,” Stella said crisply. “I know you, Rafe, remember? Not just that time we had, but the background I did on you for Aunt Grace.”
“I am capable of change—”
“Maybe. And you aren’t the same as you were the last time I saw you, I’ll give you that. But you still aren’t what she needs, not after that Hal fellow.”
“I won’t hurt her that way.”
“She doesn’t need to be hurt any way.”
“I’m not going to,” Rafe said.
“Well, see that you don’t. Because I’ll be watching.”
She was watching. The Nexus government was watching. His father and his father’s old friends in ISC were watching. All, like vultures perched on a cliff, eyeing a lame wild sheep limping slowly along below. Waiting for it to fall. Hoping it would fall. Like Parmina, in that way, in wanting him to prove how base, how faithless, how incapable he was.
Rafe slid into his CEO persona as easily as into a well-tailored jacket and met Stella’s gaze with bland equanimity. “I’m sure you’re right,” he said. Stella gave him another suspicious look, which he met with all armor on. She could not hurt him. She could not stop him. Nobody could, except Ky. And if, for reasons even he had to admit were—for the time being—operable, he could not have Ky…nothing could stop him from the pursuit of the man who had hurt Ky. Hal. He knew better than to ask Stella for the rest of the man’s name, but someone he knew would know someone who knew or could find out. Presumably he had graduated from the Academy; presumably he was, or had been, an officer in Slotter Key’s Spaceforce.
“I’m serious,” Stella said, a fine line now between her brows. Rafe forced himself to smile, the neutral and acceptable smile of one CEO to another.
“I’m sure you are,” he said. “But now, I must go, because I have to meet with the Deputy Minister of Defense, who will I’m sure want to know what we are doing to ensure the reliability of the system ansibles here.”
“If she weren’t my cousin and an orphan,” Stella said, “I could be more sympathetic.”
Rafe waved a hand, dismissing the entire topic. “Let me assure you that damaging your family is far from my mind—and that also means I’m fighting the Board on behalf of Vatta Enterprises.”
“I know,” Stella said. “I was told that by our people here.” She glanced at the clock. “Don’t be late for your meeting. I’ll see you at the dinner tonight.” And I’ll be watching, that meant.
Ky had not realized how many uniforms an admiral might need—how many public appearances must be made, at what levels of formality. She fastened the last button on her new evening dress tunic, mentally reviewing the various sensitive areas she must avoid this evening. She would meet, for the first time, the Nexus diplomats, and Rafe would be there. Well, she could handle that part. No more romantic fantasies. Everyone should be well satisfied that she was a cool, adult professional with no adolescent yearnings for the unattainable CEO of ISC. The Slotter Key ambassador should not be a problem, nor his military attaché. Dan Pettygrew had been invited, again, as Bissonet’s representative, and Teddy Ransome as head of Ransome’s Rangers. Teddy, uninterested in meetings, had accepted the dinner invitation, and Ky decided to let the watchers assume that’s where her affections, if any, lay.
>
Teddy, it turned out, had chosen the most flamboyant of his uniforms—white with gold, at his side a sword that Ky suspected was not merely ornamental. Gold buttons, gold braid, gold stripe on the white trousers…at least his shoes were black and had no tassels. With her white dress tunic and dark slacks they made, she was aware, a striking pair. Especially as Teddy, enacting his Romantic mind-set, paid her every gallant attention. Never mind. It would divert attention from the unacceptable.
She smiled, greeted the honorable this and the distinguished that, the names going straight into her implant, while her mind drifted…where was Rafe? Would he even speak to her? Teddy had gone off to the drinks buffet, promising to return with one for her.
Stella appeared in front of her. “You look superb,” she said, very softly.
“These uniforms,” Ky said. “You’re a genius.”
To her surprise, Stella flushed slightly. “I’m glad you like them. I was worried—all those times your mother told you to copy me.”
Ky shook her head. “Let’s bury the mother–cousin thing, shall we? I needed help; you gave it; I’m grateful. I couldn’t have managed this on my own, not on top of everything else. And the other officers like the insignia design for the SDF, so again—thanks.”
“I did just want to say—are you having any problems with Rafe?”
Ky’s heart stuttered. “Problems?”
Stella gave her a hard look. “You know what the problems are—is he doing anything to make it seem like…like…”
“Like we’re more than acquaintances?” Ky said. “No. On the contrary.” Her voice was a little more clipped than usual; she could hear it, and she saw Stella react to it.
“I’m glad you’re not…involved,” Stella said. “I didn’t think you were, but besides the political problems it would cause now, he’s just not the right sort for you.”
Ky bit back As if you knew, and said instead, “You’ve not met Captain Ransome yet, have you?”
“No—” Stella looked around. “Which one is he?”
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