Sono was surprised when Pardin tried to make it better and not Lisana, even though she looked like she wanted to say something. “The sea is nearby and several of the markets sell fish. I’m sure you know of things we have never eaten before. Now that you’ve taught me, can I take you to some of the other vendors?”
They all agreed and stood up to leave. Sono wasn’t angry when she stayed behind and slipped under Neptis’ arm to wrap her own around his while they walked. Pardin didn’t seem to find anything odd about the four of them together, or if he did, he didn’t let on. Sono knew Esylle and Leodos were still upset about it, but maybe these people would be more accepting of it than they were.
Pardin took them into the streets and several of the market stalls were open again. All of the men and women at the stalls swarmed around her when they saw her and thanked her again for saving their children. None of them were afraid like he thought they would be when she introduced the three of them. They all smiled warmly and shook their hands. When Pardin told them what everyone had done today and what he wanted the four of them to teach everyone, he noticed everyone at the market stalls became excited. She was right the entire time. Maybe food was their common ground for now. The man at the fish stall pulled Neptis away from everyone, there was a man who sold venison and boar who pulled Oris away. Sono and Lisana both stayed with the poultry vendor and taught her egg dishes. Sono thought he would have enjoyed the egg dish she was teaching more than the stew she made.
The day seemed to fly by and soon, it was getting dark and all the vendors insisted they all stay and eat. They sat in the town square eating both foods that they had taught and the vendors made. The people who had only peered out the windows at them slowly started spilling into the square and the longer they sat, the more people that joined them. She was smiling and laughing and he had no idea how she managed to keep this many people feeling included having grown up alone.
The laughter and smiling finally stopped when five armed human guards came into the square. They kept their distance, but everyone there seemed wary of them. She only stood and asked what they wanted. She said no one was doing anything illegal.
One of the taller men cleared his throat, like he didn’t want to talk to her. “Your mother sent us to check on you because you’ve been gone so long. She sent us to bring you back.”
He watched her temper flare, then she pushed it down so that she wouldn’t frighten anyone in the square. She turned to everyone in the square and told all of them that she enjoyed today and hoped to do it again. She promised to send a few tribe members out so they could all learn from each other as they had done today. The flame didn’t start flickering in her eyes until her back was to them and she started to walk away. He was worried Esylle had ruined the entire day as he followed behind her.
Lisana
Lisana was surprised when her mother sent men after her that it wasn’t because she was worried. Something had happened while she was gone that she was now ready to rule. She didn’t let it show on her face, but she could smell she had mated with Leodos earlier that day and later that day, Oris explained to her that the smell of vanilla that was coming off of her that morning that she didn’t recognize was her going through her first Senso now that she was changed.
She didn’t try to bring it up with her mother because she thought that was something else she wasn’t supposed to talk about. She did bring it up to Leodos because she smelled the musky vanilla smell on him first when he pulled her into an empty room as soon as she entered the palace and tried to fuss at her about her night with Oris. He knew about it, even though she had waited until everyone was asleep to sneak into his room and they washed before they came to breakfast. He seemed to know anyway and was upset with her. When she tried to argue with him, he told her what he and her mother had done earlier that way was both not her business and not the same thing. He tried to make her promise she would sleep in her mother’s chambers until she wed so that he didn’t have to worry about her sneaking out of her room at night. She promised, even though she suspected Neptis was a little upset about growing up differently than the rest of them with the sweets and she wanted to sneak into his chambers too.
She was surprised after Leodos let her go, that he led her to the room where she had first laid eyes on Esylle. Her mother was there as well as her grandfather, Volaris, Terros, and Fluvis. They were sitting at the table her mother was sitting at the first time Lisana saw her, but this time, Esylle was sitting at the head and not Joron. Much must have gone on while she was on the streets having fun because Esylle had already formed a council with Volaris, Terros, and Fluvis. He stepped down, but Joron and Leodos had both been named advisors. She was told Esylle had already commissioned thrones for everyone, including her, Sono, Oris, and Neptis because they would be sitting in during meetings and when she heard the people because they all needed to learn. She was surprised when Esylle told her in addition to everything else she had done today, she was now setting hours aside during the day where they would all sit and any of the people she had talked to today could come speak to them and air grievances or make requests.
She opened her mouth to tell her mother she had done well and was surprised when Esylle cut her off. “I say what happens next now. You still have much to learn about ruling and I won’t have you questioning me in front of any of these people. If you disagree with something I decide, you will wait and speak to me in private. I know what you did last night and you won’t do it again. If you won’t sleep in my chambers, I’ll lock you in your own so you can’t sneak off again.”
She felt the fire rise up and she knew she couldn’t lose control, nor run off to cool down. She was about to bring up that Esylle did the exact same thing she didn’t want her doing, even though she knew she couldn’t help it. She had never been frightened of Esylle before, but when she stood, Lisana took a step back because of the look on her face.
“You weren’t raised like a Tempris child, but if you force my hand, I’ll take your fire again.”
She was having trouble pushing the fire down and didn’t know why Esylle was treating her so coldly. “If you love me like you say and wanted me back here for so long, why are you treating me like he always did? Will you beat me next if I do something you don’t like?” She couldn’t help it and turned into a gnat as quickly as she could. She could hear Esylle tell Volaris to find her and bring her back, but she didn’t intend to be found tonight.
All she really wanted was to be back in bed with the three boys she was to marry. Even just one of them could make it better. But she knew Esylle would search their chambers first and Leodos could just pick her up and haul her back to her own because he knew she wouldn’t hurt him. Belisarus had locked her in her bedroom more times than she cared to think about when she was younger because he thought she would sneak into town even though he kept telling her she wasn’t supposed to. She hated it when he locked her in the bedroom and he did it even when she was older and had a healthy fear of leaving the yard.
She hadn’t told any of them he locked her in her bedroom, but Esylle was there when started talking about how he had raised her. She didn’t know if Esylle had started reading that diary last night and she read something that made her agree with how she had been raised to act this way. Esylle had upset her plenty of times when she was trying to get to know her, but only because she was trying to force her to feel things she wasn’t ready for yet. Now she was giving her orders like she wasn’t her mother, only her queen. She flew far, out to the sea. She turned into a sea snail and buried herself in the sand to sleep until morning.
Esylle
Esylle was pacing and nothing Leodos said to her made it better. She had already botched up her first day as queen. She thought she had done well and Lisana looked like she was about to say something nice to her before she ruined it. She was only hard on her the way her father had been hard on her when she was learning to rule. She knew how much the girl hated it when she threatened to take her fire and how
she told her it made her feel and she shouldn’t have done it again when she stepped back and looked wary of her. She just didn’t know how she was supposed to teach her besides doing it the way she was taught. She didn’t know if it made her feel better or worse that she grew up more sensitive because she hadn’t been raised the way Esylle was.
She knew everyone was scrambling to find her because it seemed like every few minutes, someone would come in to tell her that she wasn’t in yet another area they had checked. They took one look at her face and said they would search another. Volaris went after her as an eagle, but said he lost her. When he came back, she sent every single one of them to their son’s room to check for her. She thought she would have gone to one of them to make it better. Either that, or she knew Esylle would check there first and disappeared somewhere more difficult to find her.
She shouldn’t be in the forest as any animal right now. Every single man here hunted in the morning to bring food home for their family. She watched her heal from an arrow in the chest, but she thought there could be injuries that could be fatal to her. Everything would be ruined if someone shot her in the forest if she was that black cat again. She thought she knew better, but she also knew she wasn’t thinking clearly because she was upset again.
She hadn’t read it last night, but she really needed to read that diary. Maybe it would tell her how to prepare her to rule without doing some of the things Belisarus did to her that upset her. Esylle was shocked the girl thought she would whip her like he did. That was never done among the Tempris. Taking away their fire was how you disciplined children.
Oris, Sono, and Neptis all came in and said they wanted to help find her. She was more frightened now than when she saw the look on her face before she changed and ran off. She had made her angry before, but never hurt her like tonight. She was convinced the reason no one could find her was because she was hiding as something too small to see in one of their chambers and would only come out once everyone had gone to bed. She may still be, but they weren’t aware of it. Neptis suggested if no one had been able to find her, she may have gone to the sea to hide, knowing there were only a few of them that could look for her there. Neither Sono, nor Oris had explored their Tark gifts yet, so Oris said he would try to find her in the forest by smell and Sono said he would be able to track her if she was flying as something small. Volaris hadn’t been able to find her before, but Sono tried to make it better by telling her he could turn into more birds than Volaris and had a better chance of finding her if she was still in the air.
“Maybe I should look,” she finally said to Leodos. “I was the one that upset her. I should make it better.”
“You know why you can’t go searching for her now. Every single person she’s gifted and everyone in the guard is looking for her. You know she may not come back until she’s ready. Why did you talk to her like that after I finally convinced her to tell you how she grew up? When she first told me she was whipped, she made me swear never to tell you.”
She sat on the bed and looked at her hands. “I’m new at this and only accepted it a few hours ago. I thought I needed to treat her the way my father treated me to make her stronger.”
He sat next to her and put his arm around her. “She brought an entire human army to surrender without striking a blow. She had all the rest of those men on the steps so scared of her, they couldn’t even run to save their lives. I’m not sure how much stronger you want her to get.”
“She’s still a young girl pushing aside nineteen years of lies and upset. I want to get her past that so she doesn’t run away from us when she’s upset. I did it wrong, yet again, and now she could be in danger.”
“I don’t like her running off either and hope we can both get her to the point she stops. But wherever she is now, you know she can take care of herself and she’ll be back when she calms down. You made a mistake tonight. You’ll make several as queen and several as her mother.”
“What if she went back to Idric and that’s why no one can find her?”
“No matter how upset she is right now, I think you know she won’t go back there. It upsets her more than you ever could.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
She paced again and Leodos tried to calm her. It was almost midnight and slowly Oris, Sono, and Neptis came back saying they couldn’t find her. She asked all three of them if they went back to their chambers and found she had been hiding there the entire time, to just calm her and not do anything they weren’t supposed to. She shot Oris a look and told him she knew about his night. She didn’t think it was possible after everything he had already done with her daughter, but he turned red and looked away. They all promised to just calm her if she was hiding in their room and filed out.
Leodos tried to tell her it was late and she should sleep, but all she wanted to do was stay up all night and read that diary. Maybe it would tell her the things not to do while she taught her. She didn’t argue with Leodos much, but he kept insisting she try to sleep and she didn’t think there was any way she could. He tried to tell her the diary wasn’t going away and he was sure she would be able to talk to her daughter in the morning and make it better. He eventually wore her down, but she would only sleep if he agreed to stay with her. He would only agree to stay if she promised all they would do was sleep.
She didn’t think it was possible, but she was finally able to fall asleep after several hours of sitting there with just dark thoughts. When she finally woke up, it felt like she hadn’t slept at all. No one was talking over breakfast and she could see worry on the faces of everyone at the table. Lisana still wasn’t back yet and she hoped wherever she was, she was eating. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to get anything done with her still missing.
Neptis finally spoke. “I didn’t want to worry you last night and keep you awake. I picked up her scent by the sea. She went underwater last night, but not in the form she usually chooses. She was something small I couldn’t find and I tried becoming small so I could check shallower waters. I can check the beach to see if she’s come out and just not ready to come back here yet.”
Esylle started to say she should go to the beach now that she knew she might be out there, but both Leodos and her father spoke up at once telling her why she couldn’t. “Then Leodos can come with me. She trusts him. She spent all of yesterday in the streets and no one harmed her. It’s safe for me as well.” They both argued, but the look on her face made both of them back down.
She mainly picked at her breakfast waiting for Leodos to finish his. He suggested they fly because it was a long walk and he didn’t want to risk her in the streets because they didn’t know her like they were getting to know Lisana. She was tired of arguing with him and changed with him while they both flew over the beach. When she flew lower, she finally saw her sitting under a tree in front of a fire. She was pulled into herself and still looked upset. She knew she may make it worse, but she flew down and changed in front of her.
Lisana didn’t even look at her. “How did you find me? Why couldn’t you just let me stay out here for a while?”
Leodos flew down and changed, but didn’t say anything. He went and sat next to her and put his arm around her. Esylle was still standing in front of the fire and didn’t know if she should go to her or not.
She still wouldn’t look at her and was playing with the hem of her robe. “Did something in the diary tell you that you should treat me the way he did? Even after Leodos told me I should tell you how it made me feel even though I didn’t want to?”
“I haven’t read the diary yet,” she said, finally walking to the other side of her and putting an arm around her. “I didn’t think I was going to mess up so soon. I was trying to treat you the way I was treated when I was learning.”
“Why did you push me so hard that you wanted me to feel how much you loved me when I slept if you just intended for me to be scared of you when we got back here?”
“You’ve worried me to death this entire
journey because you haven’t seemed to be scared of anything. I didn’t think I could make you scared of me. I thought teaching you how I was taught would help you. Leodos stopped me from staying up all night reading that diary because I thought reading it would tell me the correct ways to teach you what you need to learn.”
“There’s nothing in that diary about the correct ways to teach me! You don’t think it’s frightening for me that all you have to do is touch me to weaken me to the point that I pass out? I could fight off almost anything else that was trying to hurt me, but I can’t fight you when you do that to me. I thought you were trying to kill me the first time you did it and there was nothing I could do to stop it!”
“I suppose if it hadn’t been done to me since I was a child and I only felt it for the first time when I was your age, it would frighten me too. You only didn’t have it done to you growing up because Belisarus couldn’t. I want to read the diary to see what he did wrong so I don’t make you have to go through that again. Since it bothers you so much, I won’t take your fire unless you’re in danger of hurting someone else.”
“Why did you have to threaten me and be like Belisarus was to me? I was trying to tell you that I liked everything you had decided upon and you just launched into me like I had done something wrong. Neptis, Sono, and Oris and I had a lot of fun with the street vendors and the other people before you sent for me. They treated me like I was one of them instead of who I’m supposed to be. We were all laughing and joking when you sent those men for me. You ruined my entire day and I had to leave again. I wasn’t ready to come back yet and I still don’t know how you found me.”
The Spirus Page 49