“Let’s go.” I nod toward the house.
We all walk in silence, checking out our surroundings. It feels a little too exposed for me until I remember Caelan telling me the lodge sits in the center of ten thousand acres. There a few small groupings of trees littered around the land I can see, but for the most part, it’s grassy rolling hills. I’ll get a better look once the sun is up.
I push open the front door as Chann runs up. “The chick who can’t quit cryin’ is strugglin’.”
The blade who lost her man has been inconsolable. I don’t know what to do for her. There’s the sick part of me that wants to put her out of her misery. But I won’t do that…unless she asks me to.
Alannah and the necktie peel away to go in search of the blade.
“Stay with them,” I order Chann.
He smirks at me, happy I’m back and barking at him. He saunters away swinging an arm around each woman as he walks. Thirty-seven makes a move to go rip Chann’s arms from his body before I put my palm in his chest.
“He would never do anything like what you’re thinkin’. The closer they are to him, the more sure he’ll be that he can keep ’em safe. Chann’s not some piece of shit that’d put the moves on taken women after they just got sprung from the depths of hell. He’s a good man,” I inform him with warning in my voice and stance.
“I feel fuckin’ insane,” he huffs, scrubbing his palms over his face.
“I get that,” I assure him.
If any other man walked up to Alannah and wrapped his arm around her, he’d be dead before he knew I was coming. Watching her with Deacon was the last time I sit idly by while another man touches my woman. It’s different when the man touching your woman is doing it out of respect for you.
That day on the canyon Alex laid on the ground beneath my body curling so tightly around Alannah’s body I’m surprised she could breathe. He was keeping her safe as best he could. He was helping me take care of my woman. There’s no jealousy with these men. I respect them. Chann’s no different.
“It’s got thirty bedrooms. With the bearers and Caelan’s men, we should still have extra room,” I explain walking into the open plan house. The main room spreads far and wide with ceilings that stretch all the way to the log rafters. Beyond it, I can see a kitchen worthy of the space and a dining room to our left with enough chairs to fit all of us at once.
It’s decorated in the masculine way you would expect a hunting lodge to be. Heavy wood, deep reds and browns, a few headless animals on the walls and a massive stone fireplace.
Alex is staring at the deer head on the wall between the living room and the dining room.
“I can have ’em taken down,” I say kindly.
Sorcha would blow a gasket in a place like this. Alex was or is a vegetarian chef. This probably isn’t a place he’ll feel comfortable.
“I’m not a vegetarian,” he says quietly. I know he’s not because I’ve share plenty of meaty meals with him. But this is affecting him. “My wife was. I met her at the restaurant I was a sous chef at right outta culinary school. She was opening a vegetarian restaurant and wanted to hire me. I wanted in her pants more than I wanted the job. I got both.”
There’s happiness and sadness with his confession. I know she’s dead. He said his whole family died in a car bomb. I don’t know who else belongs in that equation, and I’m afraid to ask.
“My son was two,” Alex whispers. I squeeze his shoulder in support. “He never stopped talkin’. You couldn’t understand shit he said, but he just babbled along.”
We stand in silence, the dragons somber along with the rest of the bearers who have now entered the house. Alannah and the necktie are hanging onto the blade while Chann watches over them closely.
No one makes a move to ask questions or push Alex for more. We just stand together, offering him whatever we can give him.
His sad caramel eyes lock on mine as he says, “I’ve got nothin’ to go back to. I have fucked up haunted memories. Shit I can’t make right. So if it’s all right, I’d like to stay with you.”
“Dude’s bunkin’ with me once we’re outta this place,” Chann dictates.
Alex cracks a grin over at my best friend and nods.
“Get ready to relive your teenage years. He may be pushin’ thirty, but he’s got the brain of a fifteen-year-old,” I tell Alex, clapping his shoulder a few times.
“You’re just jealous because you’re old and boring,” Chann teases me.
The tension and sadness eases in the room a bit as we all settle on couches and chairs. There’s quiet conversation and silence. We haven’t talked about our escape, where we’re going from here, what happens when memories come back. We’ve just been together. Safe.
At this point, that’s all that matters to us. We’re safe. We’re free. We’re alive. The rest will work itself out. And until then, we’ll hang out and try to start living again.
“Got somethin’ you need to see. Now,” Caelan growls, stalking into the lodge.
I shut the door and shoot Chann a questioning look to which he shrugs. We’ve been here for two days, and nothing much has happened. We’ve gone outside and walked around a bit when the July heat wasn’t too stifling. We’ve eaten our meals together. Played board games and cards. We watched a couple movies yesterday. It’s not unlike Canyon Nine here. Yet it’s completely different.
Caelan strides to an office at the back of the lodge and shuts the French doors. He drops his briefcase on the large log and glass desk before popping it open. He retrieves his laptop and settles in a chair, nodding at me to do the same in the one next to him.
It’s strange to see him on this side of a desk, out of a suit and a little stressed out.
“Jeff sent me a package. It got set aside while we were away, so I just got it,” he rages. Someone got their ass beat for that mistake.
Once the laptop is booted up, Caelan slides a USB drive in. He opens a few documents before pressing play on a video. Jeff’s face comes into view as he settles himself in a chair. It looks like he’s in the lab from what I can see, but the image is zoomed pretty tightly on Jeff, so it’s difficult to be sure.
“I don’t have much time. This is gonna get me killed, but what we found makes it worth it. We’re prisoners here too. All the documents are on this drive. Use ’em to fix this shit, Kane. You’re the only one who can make shit right. People will die today. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I didn’t try to stop this sooner. I didn’t know,” he huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. I was lost after my Katie died. You brought me back from that with your smart mouth and easy smile. I know it was forced while you were tryin’ to figure out how to kill me, but it helped me all the same. Alannah sealed the deal for me. It’s like Katie was living again when I saw her the first time. Keep your woman and your son safe. Don’t make the mistakes I did. Watch over them. Love them. You’re a good man, Kane. The best I’ve ever known.
“If I don’t see you again, remember what you’re fighting to protect. Remember what you’re fighting to avenge. Hopefully, I’ll see you at sunrise.”
He smiles sadly, waves and then approaches the camera before it goes black. I stare blankly at the screen for a long while in silence. Caelan doesn’t make a move to urge me on. He just sits with me.
“Fuck,” I spit, cracking my neck.
“I’ve got all the bearers information here. Their names, addresses, how they got to Canyon Nine. It’s not all the answers, but it’s a start,” Caelan says, pulling up a spread sheet full of data. “You can read through the other shit. It’s not a lot, but it explains the workers at Canyon Nine.”
“Tell me,” I grunt. I can’t read shit right now.
“The research staff were all paid massive salaries. Enough money to keep people more than quiet. The other workers were all criminals. Most of ’em convicted of violent crimes. Instead of spending life sentences in federal penitentiaries, they were sent to
Canyon Nine. All of their cases were overseen by the same judge. I’m guessing he’s as dirty as the rest of those fuckers. I’ve got some of Dolan’s guys in Chicago payin’ him a visit.”
“Jesus,” I huff.
“We should go through this information on the bearers. I don’t know which ones are here. I’ll help you figure out what to do. We’ll send ’em home if that’s what they want. Whatever you need, Kane. I’ll get it done.”
“Can you give me a minute?” I ask softly, reaching my breaking point.
I’m not sad. I’m fucking fuming.
“No, I can’t. I’ll help you out though.” He climbs to his feet and nods at me to get up.
I do. I won’t disrespect him. We walk out of the office and head toward what I know is a gym. It’s high-end and filled with things I can use to work off my fury. Caelan knows how I operate.
He wraps his arms around the heavy bag in the corner and tips his lips in a proud grin.
“Do your worst,” he goads me.
I strip off my Kansas City Royals T-shirt that Chann brought me and slam a fist into the bag, brushing Caelan’s face away from the hit.
He barks out a laugh at my aggressive move, but he takes the hint. He holds the bag for me, and I pummel it. My brain works overtime as I begin.
I don’t like that Bethany died because I was playing a deadly game with Dr. Sadist. The fact that Bethany was working for a huge salary doesn’t ease my guilt. It simply explains why she was at Canyon Nine.
Jeff killed the guy who took his daughter from him. He basically told me that the night he revealed himself to me. He paid for that decision. His life was lost right along with his daughter’s. I hate that for him and respect the fuck out of him for it.
We were surrounded by criminals. That’s the predatory gaze I recognized in the attendants. It’s so fucking clear now when I think about it.
The more I work the bag, the better I feel. I move away from my thoughts and concentrate on my body. I listen to the thrum of my heart. I suck in deep breaths. I relish the burn of my muscles. I feel everything my shielded body will allow me and for the first time, I don’t miss the things it holds back from me. I don’t wish for cool beads of sweat. I don’t crave bloodied knuckles. I don’t want cracked bones.
I’m content in my skin for the first time in my life. This skin has saved my life. A life I was sure I didn’t want for a long time. But I do. I want to live. I don’t want to hide away in my loft anymore. I want the freedom I fought to gain.
I’ll live that to the fullest now. I’ll live the life Jeff sacrificed. I’ll hold his memory in my heart when I hold my son for the first time and remember the man who gave up his life in order to save mine.
I owe him that.
I owe him everything.
I decided to start with my friends first. I’m closer with them, and I wanted to give them the details I have first. The dragons are sitting in front of me in the office. I’m behind the desk, and they’re in the chairs on the other side, watching me curiously.
“I know who you are. I have most of the information about your lives before Canyon Nine. I can give it to you, or you can wait for your memories to come back. It’s up to you,” I say as simply as I can.
Alannah shoots me a smile from across the room. She wanted to be here. She’s sitting in a reading chair, legs curled under her. My woman is giving the bearers their space until they need her.
“Tell us,” they respond in unison.
“Your name is Emmett Dunn,” I say to Thirty-five.
“You’re Kevin Brody,” I tell Thirty-six.
“And you’re Braden Dempsey,” I finish with Thirty-seven.
They’re no longer numbers. I’ll never think of those fucking numbers again in my life once we’re done with this shit.
After Caelan and I had gone through the spreadsheet, I got Alannah and Chann. The four of us spent the night pouring over the information, making notes and putting in some calls. The bearers didn’t question what we spent the day and night doing. They trust us.
Beating the shit out of the heavy bag was the right move. I came back into the office renewed and ready to work. That’s all I’ve been doing since then. I took a short nap, but I got up quickly, wanting to start this process.
The dragons look at each other and then back at me. They’re rolling their names around, searching for recognition. It’ll come. I don’t know when, but I’m confident it’ll come back to them.
“Feels right,” Emmett finally comments with a shrug.
“What else you got?” Braden asks with the beginning of a cocky smirk on his lips.
“You’re all single,” I say through my own smirk. “You were firefighters in Boston. I thought you had accents.”
“You have the accent, rookie,” Braden teases.
“How’d we end up in Canyon Nine?” Kevin asks.
“Fire went wrong. You were all trapped in some warehouse. Everyone died but you three,” I give them the basics.
“Family?” Emmett asks with a little hope in his baritone voice.
“Dead.”
“Canyon Nine?”
“Looks that way.”
There’s a long, tense silence that floats around the room. I allow them to hang in it and look over at my woman. She’s not watching me, she’s watching the dragons with pain on her face. She feels this shit along with them. I don’t know how she feels so much when I feel so little. I’m not heartless, but I’ve spent years locking emotions away. My fucking chest aches watching the hurt on my woman’s face though.
“I can get you guys on a flight back to Boston tomorrow,” I finally speak.
“For what?” Kevin growls.
I shrug. “It’s your home.”
“We spent almost four years in Canyon Nine. Don’t remember shit, and when we do, it’s gonna be fucked up shit that won’t make any of this easier. I’d rather be with friends when that happens,” Braden says.
“Your friends are in Boston,” I point out.
“Fuck you, Kane,” Emmett snarls. “You’re our fuckin’ friend. The bearers are our friends. How do we walk back into a life when everyone thinks we’re dead?”
“You can stay with us as long as you need,” Alannah interjects. “Kane doesn’t want you to feel trapped here. He wants you to feel free.”
The dragons look at me and their frustration fades as understanding washes over them.
“You could’ve just said that shit,” Braden admonishes me.
“He’s not great at conversation,” Alannah snarks.
I scowl at her as she chuckles.
“You want this?” I ask, gesturing at the information I printed out about their lives, ignoring my woman. It’s not a fun read, but it’s their choice.
“We’ll wait until we remember. I don’t want Canyon Nine fillin’ me in on my fuckin’ life,” Kevin grumbles.
The other two nod in agreement.
“If you decide you want it, let me know.”
They climb to their feet, and I round the desk to engage in back-slapping hugs.
“Guessin’ it doesn’t explain our shields in that information,” Braden says as we end our embrace.
“Nah, man. If it did, I would’ve told you that shit off the bat.”
“Who do you want us to send in next?” Kevin asks, pulling the French doors open.
“Thirty-nine.”
They nod and walk out. I flip the lock and prowl to my woman, leaning into her face with my hands braced on the arms of the chair. She looks up at me with those big blue eyes, not afraid of my looming presence.
“I’m good at conversation,” I growl.
“You’re average at best,” she points out with a smirk.
“That’s not what you said this morning. I think it was somethin’ more like ‘Kane. Oh, Kane. You’re the best. Please.’” I do my best impression of her sweet voice.
“You’re great in the sack,” she deadpans. “You’re not talkin’ then.”
&n
bsp; I run my nose along her jaw up to her ear before purring, “I think you’re tryin’ to piss me off. You want it rough and angry, keep it up. You know how fond I am of that mouth.”
Alannah’s tiny body shudders and I get my answer. My woman wants me. She wants the Kane Rand she experienced our first day in the loft, feral and primal. I’ll give it to her. And I’ll fucking love every minute of it.
A quiet knock at the door breaks our moment. I nip her lobe before standing up. Alannah’s face is flushed, and her lids are heavy with want. It’s going to be a long day.
“Hey,” I say easily, opening the door for Thirty-nine.
I knew he was young, but now that I’ve got his details, his youth is more apparent. He smiles at Alannah in that kind way he always does then takes the chair across from me as I settle in.
“I know who you are. I have most of the information about your life before Canyon Nine. I can give it to you, or you can wait for your memory to come back. It’s up to you,” I explain the same way I did with the dragons.
His black eyes get big, and his throat bobs. He’s scared.
“You don’t have to decide right now. But I’d at least like to tell you your name. I can’t do the numbers anymore,” I continue when he doesn’t speak.
He nods a little, clasping his long fingers in his lap.
“Rory Foley.”
He closes his eyes and takes a shuddered breath. I hate this. I fucking hate this shit. It makes me want to go out and kill those motherfuckers all over again.
Alannah climbs out of the reading chair and settles herself next to Rory. Slowly, she reaches out and strokes his white hair. He doesn’t jump or push her away; he leans into my woman’s touch.
“There’s somethin’ else I want you to know today. After this, you can take a break. Okay?” I try to speak tenderly, but my fury makes my voice sound harsh.
“Okay,” he responds in a whisper, opening his black eyes.
“How old do you think you are?” I ask.
Alannah glares at me. I fight laughing at her, but I keep my shit together.
“I woke up at Canyon Nine when I was eighteen,” he explains in that fucking robot voice the drugs have caused. “That was a year and a half ago.”
Misunderstood Miracles Page 21