by Sarah Adams
More memories of Christmases where I should feel lonely, but I don’t because Levi and I are making cookies with Uncle Drew and decorating the tree with my mom and dad. There’s a vague nagging feeling that says someone is missing, but it’s not crippling.
I remember all of this as the door opens to Cooper’s office, and I realize if I was strong enough to get through all of that, I can face the world’s hottest man and tell him I’m crazy about him without throwing up on his feet. I hope.
Ashley steps out of the way and lets me walk past her into the office. She winks as she closes the door, and now I’m alone—shut inside a lion’s den.
“Lucy,” Cooper says in a happy tone from behind his desk. He closes his laptop and stands, and I’m momentarily stunned because I thought Boat Cooper, Car Mechanic Cooper, and Park Day Cooper were all attractive, but Bossman Cooper is so sexy I think my legs are going to give out.
He scoots his chair away from the desk and shifts to the side, letting me get the full effect of him in a nicely pressed, form-fitting, dark-gray suit and tie, hair tousled and waving into perfection with a lock dancing down over his brow. He has a black leather watch on his wrist and dress shoes that match, and with the huge wall of glass behind him, it looks like he is the king of this city. They should name it Cooperville.
“How are you?” he asks with a confused but pleased smile. As he gets closer, I can now smell his cologne. Oh lordy, it smells warm and smooth and like I want to dive inside it and swim around all day long.
“I’m good. Well, no, actually, I’m terrible. I mean…I FEEL terrible. Physically. Not emotionally. Although, I don’t feel so great emotionally either.”
“Lucy!” Cooper stops in front of me with his incomparable masculinity on full display as his large hands wrap around both of my biceps with nothing but tenderness. “Breathe.” I do, in and out through my nose in a way any yogi would be proud of. “I’m glad you came by.”
“You are?”
His mouth tugs up on one side. “Of course. I was afraid you might get weird or try to avoid me after last night.”
“Ha! Me? Get weird? Preposterous.” That’s officially the first time I’ve ever said the word preposterous in my life.
He chuckles softly then lets go of my arms to take a step back, gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs facing his desk. “Good. Well, welcome to my office. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable.”
I glance to the chair then back at Cooper, knowing I better not sit down and get comfortable. If I do, I’ll never tell him what I came here to say. I’ll end up settling in and asking him a hundred questions about his fancy title of… I squint at the name plaque on his desk, trying to remember what it is he does again: Senior Brand Manager. Right. He really is a boss. Remembering this does nothing to help my nerves. Okay, I need to spit it out before I chicken out, pull the fire alarm, and race out of this building.
“Cooper, we need to talk.” I set the box of donuts down on his desk and snap my eyes up to him sharply. I’m determined now, like a burly man sitting down to a pie-eating contest at the fair. I want to crack my knuckles. “I asked you to sleep with me last night.”
He blinks, and his smile turns amused. “I remember.”
“And you turned me down.”
He leans back and settles himself against his desk, crossing his arms. “Because you were drunk.”
His answer gives me hope. “Only because I was drunk?”
I watch his blue-green eyes narrow, like we’re in a game of chess and he’s trying to think ahead to my next move. “What is it you’re really wanting to know, Lucy?” Not fair. He just wiped all the chess pieces off the board.
I lick my lips—out of nerves, not sensuality—and force myself to meet his gaze like a grown-up. “Cooper…I…am sort of, kind of having feelings for you, and I want to know if maybe you’re having them for me too.” I abruptly pick up the donut box again and extend it to him. “Donut?”
Lucy shifts the donut box toward me and opens the lid like she’s showing me a rare selection of antique jewels rather than sprinkles and glazed dough. Her hands are shaking too. I can see the box vibrating and her cheeks turning that familiar rosy red. She’s also wearing her glasses again today, and the whole girl-next-door look with the cutoff shorts and sunshine-yellow tee she’s wearing is killing me.
She just admitted to having feelings for me—which, let’s be honest, I’ve known since the beginning of our friendship, or at least knew she was attracted to me—but I have no idea why she’s shaking like a leaf over there, because I’m pretty sure my attraction has been apparent too.
I take the box of donuts from her hands and toss it onto my desk. Her eyes watch them go like that box was the last ship that could have carried her off a deserted island. “I rubbed your feet last night,” I say matter-of-factly.
Her lips part in shock. And then her brow crumples in confusion. She expels a breath. “I’ll be honest, I have no idea what to do with that statement.”
I laugh and take a small step closer to her even though I should be putting the desk between us right now. “I’m trying to say I have feelings for you too. I kinda thought it was obvious when I tenderly rubbed your feet while we watched a romantic show and drank wine together until late in the night.”
She blinks a few times. “I just thought you did that sort of thing with lots of women.”
I stare at Lucy for a moment, trying to decide if she’s serious or not. She is. She’s dead serious. I shouldn’t, but I reach out and wrap my arms around her, pulling her in tightly to my chest. I hold her close and want to squeeze her because sometimes this woman is just so innocent and unaware of how desirable she is that I can’t take it. She’s going to give me diabetes she’s so sweet. Every cell in my body aches for her.
“No, Lucy, I don’t do that for lots of women—or any women, for that matter. I did it because I like you. A lot.”
She slowly wraps her arms around my waist like she’s not entirely sure what’s happening right now. “Umm…okay. So, if we both really like each other, why are we hugging like we’re parting after summer camp instead of making out on your desk right now?”
“Because we’re not going to make out today.”
“We’re not?”
“Nope.” And this is the part that sucks. I pull away enough to look down at her. Her glasses are sitting an inch to the right, so I shift them back on her nose.
Her brow is pinched, and if it’s possible for a person to have sad cartoon puppy eyes, Lucy does. “Can I ask why not? Because the making-out option sounds like a win to me.”
I smile and lean back against my desk, keeping a firm hand on Lucy’s lower back, taking her with me. Her hips lean into mine, and her soft eyes drop to my mouth. One of her eyebrows lifts the tiniest bit, and a dreamy smile tugs at the corners of her lips. Her thoughts are practically projected above her head. She’s imagining it—playing out every detail of what kissing me right now would be like—and I want more than anything to bring that fantasy to life.
I clear my throat and roll my shoulders back. “Because I promised your brother I wouldn’t.”
Lucy’s eyes shoot up to mine, and her mouth falls open. She stares at me for approximately three seconds until my words fully register, and her body goes rigid. “I knew it! Ugh. You chauvinistic men, talking behind my back and deciding my life without me.” She uses her hands to push off of my chest and gain some space, but I don’t let her. Instead, I lean forward and grab her hips, pulling her back to me. She lands up against me with an oof, and I smile down at her, making her frown deepen. “No, don’t smolder at me like that. I’m pissed at you and Drew right now.”
“Me? Why are you upset at me?”
Her deep-blue eyes bounce back and forth between mine, angry fire flashing from her irises, threatening to spark out and singe me. I’ve seen Lucy embarrassed, comfortable, nervous, and flirtatious, but this is new, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it’s sexy as hell
. “You made the promise to my brother before talking to me first. This is the twenty-first century, Cooper. You should have told me you were interested first, and then we could have talked to Drew together. You can’t just make decisions for a woman anymore—not unless you’re dressed up in a hot, 1800s gentleman’s outfit with a cravat and waistcoat…then I might make an exception.”
I tighten my grip on her waist, feeling heat rise up from my toes and surge through my veins. “Was that a flirt?”
She narrows her eyes. “No, because I’m angry at you, remember? I don’t even want to kiss you anymore.” I’m holding her too tight for her to move away, so she crosses her arms over her chest instead. “Moment is over. Sorry, but you missed the boat, buddy. No Lucy for you.”
“Really?” I pull her in tighter. There’s no distance between us now. All of me is touching all of her, and everyone in the office can probably see what’s happening, but I don’t care. Far from it. In fact, my thumb slips under the hem of her shirt, and I glide it back and forth across her warm skin. “Well, that’s tough, but I understand.”
Her lashes flutter a little, and she looks down to where my thumb has journeyed into uncharted territory. “Well,” she says, her voice a little breathy, “let’s say, hypothetically, you didn’t miss your boat…what are your travel plans for the future?”
I give her a little eh shrug and withdraw my hand, releasing her and standing up to retreat back to my side of the desk. Predictably—and just as I hoped—she grabs the lapels of my jacket and pulls me back in place. Yeah. I like this new side of her.
“Cooper. Please. I can’t handle your sexy games. I want to be cool and suave like you, but my kneecaps are melting underneath me, and I don’t know how to act around you. Do I pin you against the wall and force you to kiss me”—Yes, always that option—“or do I grab my box of donuts and leave? I haven’t watched enough heated teen Netflix movies to know what to do in this situation!” She’s shaking me a bit via my jacket, and just like every time I’m around Lucy, I can barely contain my laughter. But with that feeling of happiness comes a healthy dose of reality too.
I cover Lucy’s hands with mine and stare down in her eyes, looking like one of those sappy fools I usually want to punch in the face due to how queasy they make me feel, but I can’t help it. This woman, her sweetness, her odd quirks…they’ve turned me into some kind of vanilla pudding you’re embarrassed to pull out at lunch. “Lucy, I want so much more with you…but I can’t give you anything besides friendship right now.”
“Because of Drew?”
I nod. “Because of Drew. I know it seems like I’m picking him over you, but that’s not the case. He’s nervous about the prospect of us because…well, he has a little reason to be. He hasn’t ever seen me commit to anyone, and he knows you and Levi need a good man in your life who won’t let you down.”
“But—”
I put my finger on her lips. “It sounds stupid, but Drew’s friendship is really important to me, Luce. Although he can drive me insane, he feels like my brother sometimes. I need his approval where you’re concerned—which I do believe he’ll give to me with time. But if I pursued a relationship with you right after he asked me not to, he would not react well. Imagine how much strain that would put on me and you right from the beginning.”
She lets out a sad little whimper and drops her forehead on my chest. “Yeah, you’re right. That would suck. I can’t even take it when Drew is upset at me for eating all of his Lucky Charms. Why do we have to love him so much?”
I wrap both of my arms tightly around Lucy, allowing myself this one last moment of intimacy with her before I force us back into the friend zone. “I know. He somehow has bigger puppy eyes than you do.”
“It’s because he used to practice them in the mirror as a kid. Got him better Christmas presents.”
“Figures.”
Lucy turns her face so her cheek is pressed up against my collarbone, and I can feel her breath on my neck. I know she’s not trying to seduce me, but consider me fully seduced. With every hot exhalation against my skin, I feel my resolve slipping.
“So, what are you proposing we do?” Did she nuzzle in closer? Her lips definitely grazed my skin as she spoke.
I shut my eyes tight, forcing myself to think straight and tune out the pleas of my body. “I think we both have to agree that a relationship between us is off limits for now. Strictly friends—at least until Drew gets home and we can both talk to him together about how we’re feeling.”
“What if he’s never okay with it?”
“Then we’ll become Romeo and Juliet.”
“They both die in the end.”
“Yeah, what’s your point?”
Lucy laughs and puts her arms around me to squeeze me like a lemon. She and I stand here for another minute, her locked in my arms and our hips pressed together in a less-than-friendly way, both savoring what we know has to be the last form of contact between us for a while. At first, I think she’s crying with all the sniffling sounds coming from her. Then, I realize what she’s actually doing.
I pull away enough to look down at her. “Lucy, are you smelling me?”
Her eyes are shut, and she smiles, not the least bit ashamed. “Yeah. It’s weird, I know. But you smell like a cologne ad, and I think it makes my brain cells morph into new hormones. Can I just loosen your shirt and run my hands up your back real quick?”
I sputter a laugh and grab Lucy’s now wandering hand to pin it to my chest. She grins up at me, eyes sparkling, and now I can add mischievous to my list of favorite expressions from her. “You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”
“Tempting, dangerous trouble,” she says, and I think the effect might have been stronger if all that eyebrow wagging she just did hadn’t made her glasses sink down her nose an inch. Still, I want to kiss her. I want to take her bottom lip in my mouth and taste it.
“Yeah, you gotta go,” I say, abruptly releasing her and turning to run my hand through my hair because that can’t happen until after things are settled with Drew. Everyone knows how difficult just friends is once you’ve both established feelings. It’s all happy times until one kisses the other and it breaks every boundary you’ve created. There’s no going back after lips touch. The ground shatters, and you fall. I’ll fall.
I hear her soft, pleased chuckle at knowing she successfully got under my skin, followed by the door to my office opening. “Sorry to interrupt, Mr. James, but your next meeting is here. Dr. Peterson.”
I expel a breath, not quite ready to tear myself away from Lucy and jump back into work mode. “Thanks, Ashley. You can go ahead and send him in.”
It’s only after Ashley has left that I realize Lucy looks like someone just stole her purse and kicked her in the stomach. “Whoa, what’s wrong?”
Her nostrils flare, and her jaw flinches. “Did she just say Dr. Peterson?”
“Yeah…he’s one of my clients, a doctor who’s working on rebranding his new private practice.”
Lucy whimpers and looks like she’s going to drop to the floor from sudden loss of feeling in her legs. “COOPER! Please tell me his first name is not—”
“Brent.” It’s only after I’ve said it out loud that I realize who he is.
Lucy begins gathering her purse and donut box as quickly as possible. “I have to go! Right now. I don’t want to see him today. I have to prepare myself before a face-to-face with Brent because he always has this way of making me feel small, and clunky, and like a puddle of muddy water. I don’t want to see him.”
But when she turns around, we both spot him through the glass wall, approaching the office behind Ashley.
Lucy’s shoulders sag in defeat, and my heart tugs for her. I know she doesn’t have feelings for this guy. I think he just reminds her of that time in her life when she was made to feel like she wasn’t enough for someone.
An idea forms in my mind, and suddenly, my pulse is jumping in my neck. They say bad decisions are made on
a whim, but I think what I’m planning to do next is the best decision of my life.
“Do you want a little confidence boost?”
She looks at me skeptically. “Yes,” she says slowly, sensing danger.
“Alright. Follow my lead, then.”
As Ashley opens my office door, I grab Lucy around the waist, haul her up to my chest until I can feel every one of her curves pressing into me, and drop my head down, kissing her directly on those lips I’ve been dreaming about since I met her.
So much for not crossing that boundary. I can practically hear the ground beneath me cracking.
Did I just have a stroke? Sure feels like it, because not two minutes ago, Cooper was telling me we could only be friends. And now…well, this does NOT feel like friends.
It does, however, feel like warm lips, a strong body, and all kinds of hot and bothered mixed into one as he hungrily caresses my mouth. I decide not to care (HA! Just kidding. It’s actually that I can’t form a thought coherent enough to resemble caring) and wrap my arms around Cooper’s neck. He drags in a deep breath through his nose, and I relish the way his hands are biting into my back like he can’t get me close enough.
Usually, kisses have a buildup, a soft-to-intense pliable rhythm that feels a lot like swimming in the ocean, floating over the waves one by one. Not this one. Cooper’s kiss is devouring as if he’s been dying for me. We tilt and slant, allowing our connection to somehow grow deeper. I’m not in the ocean; I’m on a roller coaster, and it’s just crested the first drop. When I taste mint on his lips, my world goes fuzzy around the edges and fire tornadoes spin in my stomach. His hands blaze a trail from my lower back up to my jaw so he can cradle my face, and I drop my hands to wrap around his waist. He smells like cologne today—nothing intense, just professional and clean and attractive. I tunnel in on this kiss—our lips, our breath, his scent—and I lock my arms tightly around him. I’m not sure what is happening between us right now, but I’m willing to do it all day.