by Cindi Madsen
The last few days were exactly what she needed. She and Alexandria had talked like they’d never talked before. About the reality of making relationships work and about Addie’s two job options, which were officially options now, and about anything and everything.
Addie had expected her sister to tell her that if the closer job meant a better chance at landing her man, she should do that. Instead, Alexandria had shocked the hell out of her by saying that until Tucker put himself in the equation, Addie needed to take him out of it and then make her decision.
“I’ve always admired how strong you are,” Alexandria had said. “Eli’s been working so much over the past few months and honestly, I felt completely lost without him for a month or so. Then I wished I’d been more independent like you, but I’m too stubborn to come out and say it. That’s also why I got a bit too invested in the dentist.”
“Well, the fancy underwear worked for a little while, even if it worked on the wrong guy,” Addie said, then frowned. “I mean the right guy. You know what I mean.” The pain that’d become her constant companion rose up to remind her it was still there, raw and achy. “In the end, I guess it takes more than that to be sexy.”
Alexandria shook her head. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see how amazing—and yes, sexy, too—you are.”
“Thanks. Same goes to Eli.”
“Oh, he knows,” Alexandria said with a smile, going all dreamy eyed. “We’ve been working on us, and things are really good. And now that we’re over the rough patch at his work, I’m going to take online classes and see about finishing my degree.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, so girl power and all that jazz.”
“Wait. Am I a girl in this situation?” Addie asked with exaggerated shock as she pointed at herself. “Because you always said that—”
Alexandria had shoved her, and they’d laughed, but then her sister had told her again that she was a strong, independent woman, and Addie felt like she could face anything.
Until she was looking out across the square and a familiar head came into view.
Coppery brown hair with one stray wave that wouldn’t behave.
Just like that, the rush of memories hit her. Of summer days catching baseballs and footballs. Climbing fences and trees and returning home scratched, bruised, and blissfully happy.
Of being out on a boat with him, back in high school, a few times in college, and that night a month ago, when the sparks between them fully ignited and spread until there was no ignoring them.
Her fingers went to her lips as residual butterflies stirred in her gut.
No thinking about that.
Addie took a deep fortifying breath and left the safety of her truck.
Out of respect for Lexi, she’d dressed up, which meant borrowing her sister’s pink dress again. Two more days of wearing a dress, and then she might never put on another.
Then again, while she still didn’t love them, she’d gotten more accustomed to them, so she supposed on the rare occasion, it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. Heels would never be her thing, but she’d put on the same ones she’d have to wear tomorrow with her bridesmaid’s dress so she could do the waltz and break them in.
Be strong, be strong, be strong…
Lottie intercepted her before anyone else, which was remarkable considering Addie swore she’d been on the other side of the square a minute ago. “I just want you to know that the Craft Cats are on your side.”
Addie lowered her eyebrows. “My side of what?”
“You and Tucker.”
Addie stopped midstride, her spine going stick straight. “What do you mean, me and Tucker?”
“We all know that y’all were a thing for a while and that you’re not anymore.” She leaned in and whispered, “He kissed one of those other bridesmaids, didn’t he? They say cheatin’ isn’t genetic, but sometimes I wonder…”
Addie wanted to defend Tucker’s mom, despite hardly knowing her side of the story or if she had cheated, and this was ridiculous. “I really don’t wanna talk about it,” she said, but couldn’t help adding, “and for the record, no, that’s not what happened.”
A few other people gave her encouraging nods and nonsarcastic bless your hearts as she walked toward the center of the action, and how did she end up as the scorned one? The brokenhearted one?
Just because she was a girl?
Never mind that she was, in fact, nursing a broken heart.
Now she wished their plan to keep things under wraps had worked. It was worse now that everyone knew they’d tried and failed.
A couple more people mentioned it, which made it damn hard not to think about.
“Addie.” Tucker strode right up to her, and since she was a strong, independent woman, she stifled the urge to run and instead put on the best poker face of her life.
“Hey,” she said as she continued toward the table that held the rest of their friends.
Tucker caught her arm and slowly spun her to face him. “You can’t ignore me forever, you know. At some point, you’re gonna have to talk to me.”
She nodded like she was perfectly okay with that. “I’m sorry everyone knows that we…” She made a sweeping gesture between them to fill in the blank because saying the words would hurt too much.
“You think I care? I don’t give a shit. I care about you.” He lifted his arm like he was going to cup her cheek, and she gripped his wrist, stopping him a few inches short of contact.
“Please don’t. I don’t wanna do this here. Let’s get through tonight, and then we’ll talk.”
“Will we? Or will you just find new ways to avoid me?”
A sharp pang went through her chest as she peered into those familiar blue eyes, and the last thing she felt right now was strong.
So much for her pep talk.
“Addie, I’m goin’ crazy not talkin’ to you.”
“You managed just fine for a couple of years. I’m sure you’ll get used to it again.” Yeah, it was below the belt, but she’d also been telling it to herself for days, and what good had holding back done before?
Tucker stepped closer and curled his hands around her shoulders. “I never got used to it, and don’t act like things are different now than before I left for Birmingham. Addes, I messed up. I miss you so much I can hardly think straight, and then I look at you, and…”
His gaze drifted down, and she wanted to believe the gleam in his eyes would last, but she was done with letting her delusions get the best of her.
“Let’s face it, Tucker. If holding your puppy hadn’t caused me to flash you, and if I wasn’t wearing sexy underwear that my sister had to talk me into buyin’, this never woulda happened.”
Sometimes she wished it hadn’t. But the thought of losing those amazing kisses and those heated nights between the sheets, nothing and everything between them, hurt too.
“You never woulda decided you wanted me like that.”
Tucker adamantly shook his head. “That’s not true. If we want to get technical, it was seeing your legs in that very dress, sticking out from underneath the hood of that car. That was the moment I thought, That’s my type of girl right there.”
“So I put on a dress and what?” She shrugged as if her words didn’t weigh a thousand pounds. “You suddenly want me again? Or maybe it’s because I seem like a challenge, like back when the dentist was interested and you wanted to see if you could win.”
The line of his jaw tightened, and his fingers dug into her shoulders. “It’s because I’m a selfish bastard even though I’m trying not to be.”
“After tomorrow, I’ll go back to plain old Addie, and I don’t want you to pretend to want more, just like I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.”
“That’s what you think of me?” His voice bled misery, and it seeped into her and joined the
surplus she already had.
“I think that if we keep goin’ down this road, it’ll be impossible to repair our friendship, and I wanna get over this so we can get back to how things used to be, if that’s even possible anymore. I do know that it’s gonna take some time and space.”
“I guess it’s a good thing that you’re moving away, then. You’ll get all kinds of space.”
“Hey, you were the one who pushed me as far away as you could. Don’t act like you care about me leaving town now.”
“I never not cared. Things started moving so quickly, and then they were spiraling out of control, and it got all messed up along the way.” He raked a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated growl. “Can’t we just—”
“I hate to break this up,” Shep said as he hesitantly encroached the bubble they’d formed, “specially since I can’t tell if it’s going good or bad. But everyone’s staring and speculating, and we need to begin the rehearsal.”
Tucker loosened his grip on her and trailed his hand down her arm, and the cascade of tingles that followed, even after such a gut-wrenching conversation, were so not fair. “I’ll talk to you during the waltz.”
Addie’s throat tightened, and she had to force out words that didn’t seem to want to come. “I’m doing the waltz with Ford now—Lexi’s the one who suggested it, actually. No drama during the wedding, remember? Which is why he’s also pairing up with me on the walk down the aisle.”
She blinked away the threatening tears and then forced her feet into motion, not stopping until she reached her new waltzing partner.
And when Ford punched her shoulder instead of asking how she was, she nearly hugged him, totally defeating the point.
…
A buzzing numbness overtook Tucker’s body as he watched Addie walk to Ford. He’d had a speech prepared, but the second her mask slipped and he could see the raw pain in her features, he knew it wasn’t enough.
“Sorry, man,” Shep said. “I don’t have to tell you that the girl holds a grudge—I’m still not allowed to eat food in her truck. The end comes out of a burrito one time ten years ago and the trust is gone, just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “And that was just a burrito.”
Tucker swallowed and worked to keep his voice even. “Big help with the pep talks as ever, Shep.”
“Well, what did you expect? To say, ‘Hey sorry, dude,’ and she’d punch you in the shoulder and say, ‘It’s all good’?”
“Not gonna lie. That’d be pretty awesome.”
“Too bad. Once line-crossing happens, that option’s over. That’s why you respect the line.”
“It wasn’t as simple as that. Like I said, I tried. Sometimes there are stronger forces than lines.”
Tucker expelled a breath, and a different type of exhaustion settled deep into his bones.
“I’m so miserable without her. It’s all I can think about—all I’ve thought about for nearly two weeks. But being this close to her and still having so much distance between us? It’s the worst kind of torture.”
The weight of the situation hit him again, and he took a heavy step toward the gathering crowd so they could get this over and done with and he could retreat to his houseboat and drink himself into oblivion.
Shep stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Wait. You’re saying it’s more than foolin’ around?”
“Of course it’s more than fooling around,” Tucker said. “It’s always been more than that—I never would’ve crossed the line if it wasn’t.”
Shep gaped at him. “Why didn’t you say so before?”
“I don’t know. Because it’d be weird as shit. For one, it involves Addie, and you know how we can get when we talk women—I almost took a swing at Ford for saying she was nice to look at, so tread careful. And two, it’s not like we usually talk about this stuff.”
Three, he didn’t feel like he deserved to defend himself, but he was keeping that to himself—his skin was already too tight after what he had admitted.
“Well, buckle in, ’cause we’re gonna talk about it now.” Shep crossed his arms and studied him as if he was getting ready to cross-examine him on the stand. “Do you love her? And I mean in a different way than the rest of us love her.”
He glanced at Addie, felt every inch of physical distance and the emotional ocean between them, and it crashed over him all at once. His brain had whispered it before, but he’d tried to ignore it because he couldn’t already be that far gone, and it would make her moving away and what’d happened between them even more painful.
But now everything in him screamed the truth, no way he could deny it. “I love her. I’m in love with her.”
“Dude.”
His chest tightened, and he tugged at his tie. No amount of loosening would make it easier to breathe, but he needed something to do with his hands anyway. “What good does it do me? The timing’s all off. She’s leaving, and I don’t have enough money saved up to even think of settling down and getting serious.”
“What does that have to do with anything? You can’t tell her you love her because you don’t have enough money?” Shep looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Have you met Addie? Does she seem like the type of girl who cares?”
“I don’t want to pull her into a life where we don’t know how or if we can pay the bills. I watched it tear apart my parents, and I won’t put Addie in that position.”
“You holding back is what’s tearing you two apart.”
Tucker knew Shep was right, but he also knew things wouldn’t magically work out simply because he wanted them to.
He didn’t want Addie to have to make do. Hell, he didn’t even have enough saved to rent an apartment in Tuscaloosa.
What was he supposed to do? Squat at her place while he struggled to start over yet again? Then she wouldn’t just be making do, she’d have to support him on top of everything else.
“You think love follows rules?” Shep asked. “If it did, there’d be no way Lexi would be marrying me. Look at her, man. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and for some reason, she’s crazy about me. She agreed to have the wedding here, despite her country club parents and their friends. And I warned her the entire town would invite themselves to the rehearsal, and they’re all standing around on the outskirts, and she’s taking it in stride. Which is why I don’t even care that we have fucking crimson as one of our wedding colors.”
“At least there’s some AU blue in there.”
“Exactly! It’s about compromise. It’s about putting the other person first. It’s hard work, but you’d be a fool to walk away from something that’s right, just because of some idea or rule. You dig in your heels and you find a way to make it work.”
Lexi came over, a concerned expression on her face. “I don’t want to be a diva bride, but we kind of need to get started. Minus the ‘kind of.’”
“Tucker’s in love with Addie,” Shep said.
“I knew it!”
“Thanks for keeping it in the vault, bro,” Tucker said.
“Are you kidding me? Do you have any clue how much help you need to dig yourself out of this mess? I’ll fully admit I’m not qualified. But my sexy fiancée right here?” Shep wrapped his arm around her shoulders, curled her closer, and kissed her cheek. “If anyone can help you now, it’s her.”
“Okay, but we can figure it out later,” Tucker said. “I don’t want to steal your thunder or mess up your show.”
“Now it’s my turn to ask if you’re kidding me,” Lexi said with far more sass than he’d expected from her. “I can’t watch you two avoid each other all through my wedding tomorrow, knowing I could’ve done something to help. It breaks my heart to see Addie so sad, and the thought of you two walking down the aisle with other people? It’s not right.”
“You didn’t even flinch at the walk-down-the-aisle talk.” Shep clapped him
on the back. “Oh yeah, he’s definitely in love.”
“That question has been asked and answered, and while I appreciate the enthusiasm, I can’t even get the girl to have a full conversation with me.”
Lexi tapped a finger to her lips. “Then we’ve got to do something she can’t ignore.” He could see the wheels turning in her head. “We’re going to have to call in reinforcements. I’m thinking all the groomsmen, save the one who needs the convincing.”
“On it,” Shep said. “As we go through the rest of the rehearsal, I’ll give ’em a heads up.”
This was what Tucker got for having that thought during the waltz, about how if he was ever that gone over a girl, he should have one of his friends put him out of his misery.
Now here he was, eating his words, begging for help instead.
He was about to be part of some big shit show, no doubt about it, but he couldn’t care less, as long as it meant he might be able to make things right.
Hope was calling to him, and despite the indisputable fact that he’d crash all over again if it didn’t work, he went ahead and let it in anyway.
“Now…” Lexi placed her hand on his shoulder and locked eyes with him, the way so many of his coaches had done before they sent him out to attempt a big play that usually ended with him getting crushed. “How do you feel about groveling and a little public humiliation?”
Chapter Thirty-One
They’d gone through the schedule and choreography of the ceremony, Addie had danced with Ford—whose waltzing skills were fine, although she couldn’t help reminiscing about being in Tucker’s arms and the way he’d dipped her…and then she was struggling to keep it together.
Naturally, they’d had to go through it four more times.
In general, she was counting down the minutes until she could go home. She’d definitely need to rally and reinforce her heart before the wedding festivities tomorrow.
At least they’d finally reached the sitting portion of the evening.
Shep grabbed the microphone and took over going through the schedule for the reception, and Addie kicked off her shoes, sighing as her feet hit the cool grass.