by Flynn Eire
“Your mom said that?” he asked, his face full of hurt.
“Yes, but only because she didn’t get how warrior’s hearing is better than normal vampires and she has to work on that,” I admitted, feeling bad for breaking her confidence. “I’m the one who told her that you need an ego check, not grouping yourself with the other new warriors and being dismissive of the post-trans like you’re so much cooler.”
“No, it’s just weird to get buddy, buddy with any of them when my mate is in charge of them all,” he argued.
“Yet Wally’s awesome to us and offers help all the time when Roarke’s in charge of our protection detail training. You’re like the wife who thinks she’s just as important as her councilman husband because they mated, when really, no one thinks that.”
“Okay, enough,” Matteo cut in, his eyes full of shock when I glanced at him, Dimitri the same at my outburst.
“He started it,” I defended lamely.
“Yeah, I did,” Nate admitted before anything blew up. “My bad. I—I’ve had a rough day. I didn’t mean to poke at you and be insensitive that you have guy trouble since I burnt down part of an obstacle course. Kinda wrapped in my own head.”
“We had a guy in our coven that could do fire,” I offered, glad when he nodded that he knew that. “He used to go out to places where he could light crap up and it wouldn’t spread and didn’t have eyes like a junkyard.”
“Yeah, your mom said I have to test the limits of my high setting before control. We’re figuring that out, but until then, it just happens sometimes.”
“Yeah, double edged sword. You get a cool super hero power and also set shit on fire on accident.”
“You want to talk about it?” he asked gently. “We’ve got booze at our room.”
“Nah, think I’m just going to lick my wounds quietly, but thanks. I’ve got extra training with Rune to get caught up on the drones. Lots to keep focused on.”
“Yeah, but don’t go too far the other way, or at least call your mom and talk with her. I let too much fester inside once instead of just getting it out, and I almost lost everything and everyone I cared for.”
“It’s easy to spiral out when there’s so much going on,” I agreed but then shrugged. “I grew up with an empath, so it wasn’t ever an option. I’m cool with talking, I like to and move on, Mom’s big on that, but it’s like I need a moment to know what I’m feeling.”
“You’re stuck in the confused, spinning tunnel, I get it.”
“Yeah, maybe more of a washing machine where I’m bouncing off the sides too,” I muttered before stuffing my face. They let it go, and I felt bad for bringing down the mood of the table; it didn’t seem all that great to start. “When’s Alexander coming back?”
Dimitri flinched but didn’t look at me. “Soon. He’s not getting much traction as he wanted. I hope your mom can help with that, because we need to get a handle on some of this old school, underhanded and dangerous shit. But he’s so old school too that he just doesn’t get it. I know he tries, he really does, but he doesn’t get why I’m upset half the time, and if he doesn’t get it, he thinks it’s not important. Like he doesn’t see it if it’s not explained to him or…” He trailed off, realizing how much he’d said.
“You might have your mom’s gift for getting people to open up,” Matteo muttered, talking to me but staring at Dimitri. “I’ve not gotten any of that from him with all my poking, and one question from you and he spills what’s with him.”
“Mom always says it’s not only caring when you ask that gets people to answer, but lots of times it’s being impartial. I would bet money he doesn’t want to worry you or add to what’s on your own plate as his friend, plus you’re top three with both of them. Whereas I’m no one. I’ve never been mated, and I’m a little fish, so I’m just an ear, and he likes Mom.”
“Smart kid,” Dimitri complimented, and I saw the look he shared with his friend, waiting until Matteo sighed that he understood before releasing the tension in his shoulders.
“Sit down to dinner with Mom and Alexander when she comes back around,” I suggested. “She won’t stay out of it, and you’ve seen how she can totally butt in and people don’t get pissed because she’s good at it and genuinely cares. Also, if people require smacking, she does that too.”
“Yeah, she does,” Matteo chuckled, having been on the receiving end of that.
There was maybe more to say, but Philo came racing over to our table, and I assumed it had nothing to do with me, but my heart stopped when he opened his mouth and spoke.
“Your mom’s okay, but she was, well, people aren’t getting it’s really a massage and she’s not a hooker,” he told us. His eyes went wide at the litany of curse words that came out. “Tadzio immediately broke it up, but some of the guys waiting got pissed another warrior laid hands on one of theirs, and he took a beating until your mom did that wrapping of emotions thing around both of them waiting for help.”
“Are they on their way back?” Dimitri asked, reaching over and rubbing my shoulder.
“No, Marissa’s too tough for that. Tadzio asked for a few of the new warriors to join the detail, though, so maybe really people can get it through their heads this is not a pimping out situation but serious. I guess the head of the camp wasn’t taking it for real either and could give a shit if the whole camp had sex with her as long as his guys got some fun.”
“I will gut him,” I snarled, shocking everyone there. I met Philo’s gaze and let him see I really would. “No way. Get her out of there. If the leader is such a dick, it’s not worth her safety.”
“It is to her,” he explained gently. “She wants this to work, not just for the job, because she believes warriors need it. Give her a chance to work it out, Gary. Tadzio was clear they didn’t touch her after he got involved, just him for getting rough with their guy for taking the flirting too far and grabbing her butt. That was it.” He held up his hands in surrender when I shot him a look that it was enough. “Her words, not mine.”
“Stubborn woman,” I grumbled, knowing she would say exactly that. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Get Verge and Zibon out to her as soon as you can.”
“Got it. I’m taking Norris for flight hours,” he said, Dimitri agreeing.
“I want dessert,” I muttered, standing with my tray and dropping it off for the pre-trans to clean before going and making myself a huge sundae. I headed to the ops center to meet up with Rune, hoping the drones could take my mind off everything.
Apparently they could. An hour of flying them and I was a bit lighter, especially when Rune said I had a knack for it—high praise from him. We set my test on them in two weeks, which gave me a bit more training time since I’d already memorized the manual with the guard shift giving me time to get the last several chapters. I felt lighter after we called it a night, feeling like I wasn’t so far behind for once.
And once again Lynx ruined my mood by standing at my door when I got there. I actually turned on my heel to leave, and he growled.
“I am not in the mood,” I snapped when he grabbed my shoulder.
“Yeah, I heard about your mom. Glad she’s okay, and don’t worry about Tadzio, he’s a tough bastard.”
I didn’t realize until he said it that I did worry about him and my mom’s stubbornness keeping him in a troubling situation. I nodded I heard him and shook off his hand. “Thanks, but I really just want to go to bed, okay? I finally feel like I’m not completely behind, and I need to keep on this path. I got diverted, but I’m correcting course. Just leave it—”
“No. No, Gary, because nothing happened with Mikal. I didn’t even realize I touched his hip like Bowie said I did when I grilled him. I—the joke was damn funny, and I wasn’t paying attention. I still don’t think it’s a big deal, but yeah, I could see it upsetting you when you walked in on what you did. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean flirting stops or we have to—”
“Nate flirts and it’s no b
ig deal,” I cut in, annoyed I had to spell this part out for him. “One, because they play, but even more than that, because they’re stable. Matteo and Nate are on solid ground with each other, and I don’t mean that they’ve mated. They’re on the same page, and it doesn’t upset Matteo because of it. We’re not on solid ground or on the same page. That’s why it’s bad. That’s why you’re a dick. And that’s why I’m done.”
“Because I flirted when we weren’t solid? How was I supposed to know we weren’t?”
I blinked up at him. “You’re so fucking clueless it’s not even funny.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, flinching at the look he gave me like he might throttle me for stepping over the line. “I can’t explain color to you when you’re blind, Lynx.”
“Right, because the previously untouched, crazy sensitive virgin is the damn relationship expert,” he drawled, freezing at whatever he saw on my face. I was sure it was priceless, but so much swirled around in me that I wasn’t sure. What I was sure was I wanted out of the conversation no matter if I had to throw myself out the damn window.
In his shock he didn’t stop me as I darted around him and got my keys in the door. I had it opened and closed with me on the other side before he recovered. He turned the knob and tried to come in, but I slammed my body against it to keep it closed and flipped the lock.
“Gary, let me in. That was over the line, okay? I didn’t mean it like it—”
“Fuck you, Lynx,” I choked out, not having realized I was crying until then. “Just fuck you, fuck off, and leave me the fuck alone. I’m done. I don’t even fucking care why you were acting so weird with me anymore. I hate you!”
“No you don’t,” he argued quietly, his head thumping against the door. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“I’m not a baby and certainly not your baby,” I snapped, moving away from the door and yanking off my clothes, getting into bed. I ignored him as he kept knocking, trying to talk to me. Finally, someone else told him to shut the fuck up and stop bothering the whole floor, to which he growled something about throwing them into the challenge circle if they were rude to him.
Asshole.
The next morning I didn’t wake in the best mood, actually surprised I got any sleep at all. I was a lot like a zombie as I showered and handled my morning routine before heading to breakfast… Only to walk into more fucking shit.
At first it was just looks from a table. Then I realized who was at that table and it was a bunch of post-trans. I was already not loved by them, as some blamed me for transitioning early and causing them to as well.
Which was totally a stupid theory, and even if sometimes guilt ate me about the whole thing, I logically knew it wasn’t my fault. But some of them were serious in their feelings on that, and now Mikal seemed to be the head of the ‘Hate Gary’ club.
It moved into comments whispered about me being possessive or jealous—controlling even. I ignored it through most of my breakfast, being the adult and taking it until I carried my tray over to the conveyor.
“Pathetic losers with no game have to leash their men,” Mikal taunted quietly so others further away from us wouldn’t hear since they sat by the conveyor.
No, I didn’t think that was a coincidence either.
I slammed my tray down and took my water glass, flinging what was left in it at him. “You want to be a bitch about something that has nothing to do with you? Fine, there’s my bitch answer, now grow the fuck up.”
He launched at me, but even if he got massive and I didn’t, I was over my transition longer and had filled out some. I thrust the heel of my hand up into his nose before he could get me and took his legs out from under him.
“Enough!” someone bellowed and grabbed me around the waist.
“He started it, but I’m finishing it,” I growled, fighting against the person holding me who then threw me over their shoulder. Until I realized it was Lynx. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want you touching me. Go tend to Mikal!”
“Enough,” he hissed, hurrying towards the door. “I don’t know what’s going on, but this isn’t like my sweet, kind Gary.”
“No, this is hurt and pissed Gary,” I bitched, kneeing him in the stomach so he bent over. I slid off his shoulder when he did and shoved him away, happy when he landed on his ass. “I don’t need you to get involved in anything. Go back to thinking I’m Glenn and ignoring me. I liked that better because I still thought you were a good guy. Now I know the truth.”
“Gary, wait,” he coughed as I stormed off, throwing a complete fit all around. Then I circled back, ignoring everyone and loading up a take-out bag before changing the plan for my day and going right to the weight room.
I lifted more than normal, pissed Lynx could toss me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing, hurting my ego on top of everything else.
“The fact you are seriously working out with a donut in your mouth is one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen,” Drake drawled as he and London moved into my view.
“I’m the cutest thing you’ve ever seen,” London argued.
“True, but—okay, funniest.”
“I’ll give you that,” he chuckled, taking the bar from me and setting it on the rack. “Are you bulking up? Is that the plan?”
I finished my donut and huffed. “He tossed me over his shoulder like a damn doll. If I can’t bulk up enough for him not to do it again, I’ll just get fat so he can’t.”
“You’re pouting,” London accused, moving his shoulder into Drake’s stomach and lifting his much larger man. “You’re just out of your transition, Gary. Give yourself more time to fill out, and then you can pick up Lynx if you want.”
“Nice ass,” Drake teased London, smacking it. London set him down, and Drake plopped on a bench in front of me. “Lynx is oblivious. Gods love him, but he is. He has a big heart and blinders on unless it’s an engine or puzzle for him to put together or fix. I’ve known him for years and years, and the fact he agreed to date you, really date, is astounding and says a lot about you. He doesn’t get dating. Like the concept. People like each other, have sex, and sometimes mate when they can build a life together.”
“He is so blind,” I sighed, getting I’d been right. I shook my head and grabbed another donut, frowning when I saw it was the last in the bag. “Whatever. He can be whatever he wants with whoever he wants. I’m out.”
“Are you really?” London asked gently, and I let out a childish huff as I picked up the bar and went back to lifting as I ate my donut lying down without using my hands. “Okay, this whole scene is too much. If you’re pissed, I got new toys, so let’s go shoot some shit and then play with Drake’s puppies.”
I set down the bar with a bang. “I did like playing with the puppies when I was a pre-trans.”
“I’ve started a movement that adults can do it too,” London assured me as he clapped me on the back when I stood. “But first, we get out the anger. To the guns.”
“There’s something wrong with you if you immediately go to shooting stuff when upset.”
“I realize that, but it’s also proven as cathartic, and any of us could use the practice to improve our aim. Are you complaining?”
“No, I appreciate the support.” And I did. I knew Drake was there because he was friends with Lynx and wanted to stick up for his buddy, but didn’t push it when it was clear I didn’t want to hear it. London was there for me, I was pretty sure.
London’s idea did work, plus I got some serious one-on-one instruction that helped where I was lacking. It also made me feel like I wasn’t throwing away a day of training and moaning over Lynx and my hurt heart, instead I got something useful done.
Okay, rolling around with all the big puppies wasn’t useful, but Drake fibbed and told me it was really good for them to see that other warriors liked them and didn’t see the dogs as only expendable tools. No way. No way I could sacrifice puppies to try and slow down enemies while we escaped. I didn’t have that in me. We fight together, and if they helped, awes
ome.
I didn’t know that was part of the point of the dogs at the camps. I wasn’t taught that, but that they were great tracking dogs. I wondered if maybe others at the camp weren’t softies too, and the idea of throwing dogs to die to get away wasn’t over the line for more than Drake, London, and I. Yeah, I couldn’t see Dimitri or Matteo doing it either.
Maybe Alexander. Maybe. And I didn’t think that made him heartless, more he would do whatever was necessary for the mission. Which was probably why he was in charge.
There needed to be people at the top who could make the hard decisions and save as many as they could, see the big picture instead of only the situation in front of them. Made me glad to be a cog in the machine and not the boss.
As weird as it was to think about all of this while playing with the dogs, that kind of stuff had been on my mind since the attack because they would come back. We weren’t just done with the war, and at the moment, anything was better than thinking about Lynx, even if it was fucking depressing.
Then again, life was fucking depressing most days.
6 ~ Lynx
The next morning I went with the desperate option. I stalked the post-trans floor and waited until Gary went into the showers, smiling at how adorable he was when he was sleepy, bumping into the door frame and stumbling along like he needed a desperate coffee fix. I trailed after him, watching which shower stall he went into, and waited a few moments until I heard the water running and the curtain move that he’d gotten in.
Then I pounced. I slid in after him, losing my towel and setting down my shower stuff before going into the shower with him.
“What the—” He sputtered, wiping the water out of his eyes as he blinked up at me. I didn’t give my sexy prey a chance to say more or get anything else out, mashing my mouth down to his. He pushed at my chest, but I wasn’t letting him get away this time; reaching for his cock, I found him hard and wanting, stroking him tenderly since I knew how sensitive he could get.