by Toni Aleo
“The hell you don’t. You make time. You can’t just nurture that baby, Lucy Lane, you have to nurture you too.”
“No, Angie is all that matters, Mom. One day, I’ll worry about my needs.”
But again, her mother was shaking her head. “Lucy Lane, no. I know you worry about that baby, I know you want to do right by her, but how can you when you aren’t satisfied with where you are in life?”
Lucy’s face scrunched up. Why did everyone think she was unhappy? “Mom, I’m good.”
“Don’t lie to me, girl,” her mother snapped and Lucy’s eyes widened.
“I’m not.”
“You are so. You’re moving through life, only worrying about Angie and her wishes, and forgetting all about you,” she said. Her words had truth to them, but Lucy was fine. She really was. “When was the last time you went on a date?”
Lucy thought for a moment. She didn’t remember. Fuck, she really didn’t remember. Clearing her throat, she looked away and shrugged. “I don’t know, a couple months ago.”
“Liar.”
“Okay, Mom, what’s your point?” she asked, frustrated.
“Oh, I’m getting to it,” she said then, her hands coming to lace with Lucy’s. “Can you even tell me the last time you had sex?”
Lucy’s face twisted in horror. “Jesus! I’m not telling you that.”
“Lucy…”
“Mom!” she gasped, a laugh escaping her lips. “That’s personal.”
“Or is it because you can’t remember?” she said, squeezing her hands. Yeah, Lucy was about to cry. Damn it. Her mother was right, she didn’t remember. Somewhere in the last seven years, all that ever mattered—all that still mattered—was Angie. She was the first thing Lucy woke up thinking about, worrying about, and she was the last thing Lucy thought of at night. Nothing else mattered because Angie was it. Angie was her life, and there was nothing wrong with that. That’s the way a mother was supposed to be.
“Angie is my only priority, Mom,” she said, but it was more for herself than her mom. She believed her words, she did, but was she hiding behind them? She didn’t know, but she suspected she was.
“See, and I think the same about you, Jude, Jayden, and Jace. You four are my life, but I’ve always made time for me. I had to, or you all would drive me insane,” she said with a laugh and Lucy smiled. She had that right; the Sinclair kids were crazy. “But, baby, do you not see that in the last few years, you’ve become bitter?”
Lucy’s brows rose. “No…”
“Yes, it started with Jude getting married, and then Jayden, and now Jace.”
Had she? It wasn’t a shock when Jude got married. She knew it was coming, but she always saw him as such a baby. When Jayden got married, he did it behind everyone’s back, as did Jace, so both were shocks. But she was happy for them. Wasn’t she? Yeah, she loved her sisters-in-law. No, she was happy for them.
“I see the way you act when I talk about marrying River. You hate it. You’re jealous and, baby, green may be your color but not envy green. You don’t have to feel like this. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
Crap. Why was everyone pointing out her faults lately?
“Don’t you dare cry,” she demanded and Lucy looked away.
“I just…” She paused, sucking in a breath. “I just don’t know anymore. It scares me.”
“Well, yeah, I’m sure it does. But, baby, don’t you think a happy mommy would be better for Angie than a bitter mommy just trying to get by?”
“I don’t need a man to make me happy,” she shot back and Autumn nodded.
“Never said you did, but something needs to happen. Even if it’s just a vacation of your own, you need to do some things that make you happy.”
Lucy looked away and nodded. Her mom was right; she needed to do something, but what scared her was that her mind went right to Benji.
And she had no clue what the hell that meant.
Ugh, she was running late.
Of course, lunch, shopping, and talking about feelings with her mother always took a lot of time, but she hadn’t realized it would only leave her with twenty minutes to get to her new client. She was hungry, and something smelled in her apartment. When she couldn’t find the source of the smell, she started to panic because it smelled chemical. Like her fridge was about to explode or something. So she called the landlord, who promised someone would come over immediately.
After hanging up with him, she called Rayne. “Hey, send me the address for my five o’clock. It didn’t populate in my calendar.”
“Crap. Sorry, I forgot to transfer it for you,” she said, and Lucy could hear the clicking in the background.
“No big deal, thanks.”
“Have fun.”
“Yeah,” Lucy said with an empty laugh as she hung up and waited for the address to come through. God, she was exhausted. Her mother just drained her, physically and emotionally, and she had no desire to do this consult. Not even kind of, but she needed the money. Especially when she had three people coming in for interviews starting Friday for the second design position.
Finally, the address came through and Lucy hit it, the GPS coming up for her. Oh, good, it was only ten minutes from her apartment. Following the GPS while she sang along to some Sam Hunt, Lucy recapped her whole day thus far. It wasn’t a day she’d like to remember, but then, it was. Seeing Angie on that stage, dancing with the grace of an elephant, was one of the sweetest things she had ever seen. She dreaded talking to Rick about pulling her from dance tomorrow, but she would. For Angie.
She thought about how happy her mom looked and how she wanted what her mom felt. She wasn’t sure when she would feel like that, but a part of her considered doing what she said, maybe trying. She didn’t need a man—she didn’t. She was very independent, but maybe she could ask Benji if the offer of dinner was still on the table. She could get her mom to babysit, or maybe it could be on the weekend Rick had Angie.
She smiled at the possibility.
Yeah, she was going to do it.
When she pulled into the stately neighborhood where she knew houses were around a million a pop, her brows rose. The houses on this side of town were high-end and usually were brand-new. Why would someone want her to design here? Wait, was the GPS right? Pulling into the driveway it told her to pull into, she checked the address again and it was right. Looking up at the grayish-white stone home that looked like it belonged in the 1900s and not the 2010s, Lucy shrugged her shoulders.
Hm. It was spectacular and she was excited.
Her design skills were tingling.
Getting out of the car, she grabbed her bag from the back and then locked up before heading up the walkway. The house was gorgeous, with big windows and incredible stonework. The door was massive, and Lucy had always loved big doors. She wanted one on her house when she finally was able to buy. Reaching up, she used the old-fashioned doorknocker she was sure was just for looks. But she had to. It was too awesome not to use.
The door opened and the homeowner said, “Yes! You used the doorknocker. Awesome, right?”
But she missed all that.
Because standing in front of her was the man who had been starring in all her dirty daydreams.
Benji.
If Benji thought Lucy was hot in that red dress the night before, nothing could prepare him for the forest-green dress she wore as she stood in front of him on his porch. It hugged every single inch of her, stopping right at her calves. It clung to her breasts something insane, and he didn’t even need a peek of them for his mouth to water. Nope. She was completely covered and still completely lethal. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders, a braid along the crown of her head tucked behind her ear. Her eyes were wide with surprise, and he assumed she hadn’t known it would be him she was designing for.
He liked the O her mouth made, and he especially like the red lips she had.
“Benji?” she finally gasped and he grinned.
“The one and on
ly. Wanna come in?”
“This is your house?”
He laughed. “Yup. Nice, right?”
“Uh, yeah,” she said, her eyes still locked with his. “You called for me to design your house?”
“Yeah, Jayden told me I had to.” That made her snap her mouth shut, her eyes narrowing a bit, and he thought he may have offended her. “I looked you up first and checked out their house and then some of the other guys, and I was impressed. I need someone because—don’t judge me, okay?—my house is not adultish at all.”
He was rambling, and his hands were shaking. Probably because she was standing on his porch. Looking at him. She was on his turf, and he should have the advantage. But he didn’t feel as though he did. “Aren’t you supposed to come in?”
She didn’t move, her eyes looking away as she pulled in a breath. “Are you sure?”
He looked at her, confused. “Um, well, yeah. It’s chilly out and I think your legs could get cold, so maybe you should come in. Just so you don’t get hypothermia and die.”
Her lips quirked into a grin as she looked up at him. “Was this a ploy to get me to go out with you?”
“I mean, that’s actually a wonderful idea. And if I had that kind of game, I might have set up a dinner for you. But sadly, I didn’t, and I really do need someone to decorate my house,” he said with a grin and she smiled back. “So will you come in?”
“Okay,” she said simply as she walked past him, her perfume making him dizzy. Jesus, what was that scent and could he bathe in it? “I really don’t think you can un-adult this house. I mean, it’s gorgeous.”
“Right?” he said, shutting the door behind her. “I thought so too, but then I moved in, and, yeah…”
As she walked into the living room where a gamer chair and a mini-table for his drinks sat, he looked at her as her eyes widened. “I take back my previous statement. This is a bachelor pad. My brothers would kill for a TV like that.”
Benji nodded as he closed the distance between him and his TV. “Most guys do. It’s my pride and joy,” he said, gently caressing his eighty-inch, LG baby.
“Wow,” she said, looking around. “This place is bare.”
“Yeah. My stuff’s all still in boxes in the shed, but before I unpack any of it, I need help.”
“I’d say so,” she said, setting down her bag and getting her notepad.
“How’d Angie’s recital go this morning?”
She looked up and smiled. “The girl is as graceful as a herd of buffalo.”
He laughed. “Yeah, she skates hard. I couldn’t see her as a dancer.”
“Exactly,” she said, exhaling a breath. “She wants to quit, which is gonna be hell when I tell her dad.”
That made him pause. He wanted to offer to be there. He also wanted to offer to smash the dude’s face in, but it wasn’t his place, so he just nodded. Unsure what to say next.
Thankfully, she beat him to it. “Well, show me the rest of the house.”
So he did. They walked through the kitchen, and she made little sounds of pleasure that shot straight to his groin. “This kitchen is immaculate,” she gasped, running her fingers first along the marble countertops and then the white cabinets. “It’s naked in here.”
It would be nice if she were naked in there, but he couldn’t say that. “Yeah, I don’t know what to put in here.”
“Oh, wow, it has a reading nook,” she said, going into the little den that had a fireplace. “You could sit here and read while the fire burned.”
“Good idea.”
She looked up at him. “You read?”
“Yeah, I do,” he admitted and she smiled. “I even have geeky reading glasses.”
Her lips parted a bit and she looked dazed, but then she looked away quickly, taking a deep breath. “Onward, Paxton.”
He took her upstairs, and as they walked around, he decided he loved having her in his house. It was easy to say she loved design, and while they walked from room to room, she was drawing and taking pictures. Her eyes widened when she saw something she liked. And when her brows touched, a little wrinkle appeared between them. It was sexy as shit.
Being in his bedroom with her was probably the hardest thing he had ever done. She walked around his bed three times, yes, he counted. And each time, he wanted to tackle her into it and kiss her until they both were breathless. When she bent down to measure something, all he could do was stand there, staring at her ass like a sixteen-year-old checking out his hot teacher. She was just so gorgeous.
“Do you have any ideas for what you want in here?” she asked, standing up and looking back at him. He cleared his throat, covering his groin with his hands to hide his massive hard-on. This girl was going to be the death of him.
“Nope, no clue. I don’t know what looks good. I just want to seem like an adult, you know? I don’t want a bachelor pad. I want a home.”
She nodded slowly. “So I can get rid of the gamer chair?”
He scoffed. “Whoa, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Grinning, she wrote something down and then shrugged. “Okay, isn’t there one more room?”
He nodded and headed for the last room. He saved it for last because he wasn’t sure how she would react to it. If she thought it was a bachelor pad before, she wasn’t ready for what he was about to show her. Opening the door, he looked back at her as she entered, her eyes bigger than quarters. “I kind of want, like, a way to display them. I can’t decide between cases or shelves. I don’t know. What do you think?”
But she was speechless, her eyes wide as she took in all his action figures, Lego sets, and Star Wars collectibles. Like his prized lightsaber that he had gotten signed by Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars movies.
“I think you have more toys than Angie does,” she said, cutting him a look.
“Collectibles.”
She pressed her lips together. “So you want me to design a room for your collectibles,” she said, saying the last word very slowly. “I mean…wow.”
He held her gaze, pretty sure she was teasing him. “Yeah, don’t laugh at me!”
But she did. “I’ve never seen so many toy—collectibles,” she said, correcting herself, and he shrugged.
“Hey, you know what they say about a man who collects,” he said with an exaggerated wink.
“Yeah, he’s a nerd.”
“Ha. No, he’s patient. It takes time to collect all this.”
She didn’t look convinced as she walked around the room. The heels of her black pumps clicked against the hardwood. Which, of course, made his mouth water. Those calves…man. “I’ve never done a collectible room,” she said, more to herself. “Because usually adults don’t have them.”
“Because they aren’t awesome,” he said simply and she smiled.
“I didn’t peg you for a nerdy kind of guy.”
He looked over at her. “Well, if you would have gone to dinner with me, I would have told you.”
Her eyes darkened as she nodded slowly. “I guess so.”
He watched as she looked around, her eyes scrutinizing a lot of what he had. But then he thought maybe she was a closet nerd because she got excited when she looked at all his Star Wars figures. When she paused in the middle of the room, only inches from him, to mark something on her notepad, he rocked back on his heels, tucking his hands in his pockets just so he wouldn’t touch her.
He wanted to brush her hair off her shoulder. Just to press his lips to her neck. He knew it would be soft. That she would smell like heaven.
Man, this was a bad idea.
He should have hired someone else, because having Lucy Sinclair in his house, looking as fucking sexy as she was, was going to make him combust.
“So what do you think?” he asked roughly, sucking in a breath.
“I think I can do some pretty awesome stuff in here, along with the rest of the house, but—” She paused, looking up at him. “It isn’t going to be an overnight
thing. I mean, I have a blank canvas and you have no clue what you want, so it’s gonna take time to get it right, you know?”
Time. He had that. As long as he was spending it with her. “Sounds good to me. I’m not going anywhere. Well, I mean, I do have games, but we have email.”
She nodded. “Okay, so let’s head downstairs and—”
Her phone rang and her eyes widened. “Crap, sorry. I usually have it on silent, but when Angie is gone… And then there was this weird smell in my apartment… Hold on,” she said quickly, answering her phone. Benji heard a man on the other end, and for a second he thought it was Rick, but then she shook her head. “You’re kidding me. What?” she said, turning so her back was to Benji. “When can I go back? Tuesday at the latest! Can I come get some things? Jesus. Okay. No, I understand. No, I do, and I appreciate you working to get it all fixed. It’s just an inconvenient— No, thank you. All right, keep me posted. Thanks.”
Disconnecting the call, she let her arms fall to her sides, her notebook and phone hanging in her hands. She didn’t say anything, just breathed in deeply, letting out her breaths in a whoosh.
“Lucy? Everything okay?”
She only shook her head, and he walked around her to look at her face. She was holding in her tears, her face flushed red as she sucked in another breath and let it out. “I swear, if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any.”
“Is everything okay?”
She closed her eyes. “Can you, like, turn around or something? I need a moment, and I really don’t want you to see me lose my fucking shit right now.”
Panic was in her voice, which made him panic a bit. “Can I do something?”
She shook her head and her voice broke as she met his gaze. “I don’t even know what you could do.”
Holding her watery gaze, he knew what he could do.
He didn’t even think, really, he just acted. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her to him, and it was like a fire had been set at his toes. Nothing but heat exploded between them as their bodies lined up, his arms holding her. She tensed, like he expected, as her nose pressed into his chest. But he just squeezed her tightly, resting his head on hers.