by Toni Aleo
He paused, letting out a deep sigh. “I wish I never had to leave. I’m sorry I’m not there.”
“It isn’t your job—”
“Shut up,” he said simply and she laughed, her face brightening as her tears rolled down her cheeks. Looking into his eyes, she felt her heart yearning for him. He was so amazing. “Now, go watch her kick some ass and position the phone so I can see.”
“Okay. I miss you, Benji. I’ll call you back in a moment. I’m sure my mom wants to cry all over me.”
Autumn laughed against her shoulder. “I do.”
“See?” she said dryly and Benji laughed.
“Fine. Hurry, though. I don’t want to miss much, but I do I miss you more, baby.”
She smiled as she nodded. “Be back soon.”
He waved and she hung up, turning in her mother’s arms and hugging her tightly. Autumn’s tears wet Lucy’s face as she kissed her cheek. “He’s right, Lucy Lane. You are so strong and you’ve got this. You do. I know you do. But man, it’s gonna be hard.”
“It is,” she agreed, nuzzling her nose against her mom’s shoulder. “It’s going to gut me.”
“Me too,” her mom whispered as she hugged her tightly, kissing her one more. “But damn that man for being just freaking perfect! I’ve never crushed on a man, but Benji Paxton has my heart.”
Closing her eyes as her mom held her, Lucy smiled. “Me too, Mom. Me too.”
The rest of the week went by quickly. While Lucy was thankful for that since Benji would be home the following day, her heart was aching because she knew she had to take Angie to Rick. She hated it. It was December; she was supposed to be excited for Christmas, for her brothers coming in town, and for all of them being together for her mom’s wedding. But she was so stressed out she hadn’t done a lick of shopping and all she could think about was watching Angie being forced to go with her father.
It was heartbreaking, but she had to follow what her dad had said.
And jeez, he was a whole other issue.
He was great at the game, and Angie just ate it up that he was there. He was extremely sweet to her and actually very nice to River and her mom. She didn’t know what he was up to and hated that she assumed he was up to something since he had been so helpful, but it wasn’t like him. The last three years had been hell. He had manipulated all of them and burned his relationships with his sons, so she was sure she was next.
Leaning on her hand, she dreaded every hour that passed. The closer to meetup time, the more her belly hurt. Her mom and River were meeting her at the rink where Angie would only have an hour practice since Rick said he wouldn’t meet her there. It was frustrating because Angie wanted to practice, but what could she do? It was his time, and he was following the parenting plan like he had told her many times.
When her office door opened, she looked up as Rayne came in, her brows pressed together. “Hey, Lucy.”
“Yeah?”
“So, I know it’s none of my business,” she said, falling into the seat in front of her desk. “And usually, I would ignore it, but—”
“What’s going on?” Lucy asked, her heart kicking into high speed at Rayne’s worried expression. She was usually so happy-go-lucky, but she looked troubled.
“Well…” She paused, handing Lucy a piece of paper. But when she looked down, she wasn’t sure what she was looking at. “I follow Nikky Jiggler’s Blog of Puck Bunnies. I know, it’s trashy and just something I find hilarious. This chick goes around and sleeps with all these hockey players and then writes up these insane blog posts about them. It’s very funny, but also pretty scandalous.”
Her stomach dropped. Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say.
Swallowing hard, Lucy looked down, and there it was, Benji’s name.
“She doesn’t have a blog post yet, but it’s just his name and the words ‘To Come,’ so I don’t know. I don’t believe it, but I thought you should know.”
Letting out a long breath, Lucy shook her head. “Fucking figures. I have the worst luck in my life. I don’t need this.” Rayne nodded as Lucy got up, her heart pounding. “Thanks for showing me this. I gotta go get Angie.”
“Are you okay? I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. And I’ve been better, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” she said as Rayne stopped her.
“I don’t believe it, though. Benji isn’t that guy.”
Lucy only nodded, patting Rayne’s hand before heading out of her office and out the door. She couldn’t believe this. Getting in her car, she put her phone in its holder and FaceTimed Benji.
“Hey, baby,” he answered as she backed out of the driveway. “Off to get Angie?”
“Yeah,” she said sharply as she put the car in drive to pull away. “Do me a favor. Go to NikkyJiggler.com.”
He made a face. “Why in the hell would I go on that filth’s website?”
“So you’ve heard of her?”
“Everyone has heard of her. She’s trash,” he said simply. “Why?”
“Go look.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and when she looked over at him, he was staring at his computer. Making a face, he looked back at her. “Okay, do I need to defend myself here, or are we good and you know this is complete bullshit?”
Her brow furrowed. “I mean, what do you think?”
“I think it’s a pile of bullshit. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is what you think.”
“I don’t believe it, if that is what you’re asking. But it would make sense.”
“Excuse me? Make sense how?”
“I’m the queen of bad fucking luck. Finally find this guy I’m really digging and he cheats on me with some whore. Figures.”
“Well, you’re actually in luck, my love, ’cause my heart only wants you and that’s it. This is bullshit, and I’ll be calling my lawyer as soon as we get off the phone.”
She nodded, shaking her head. She already knew that. Benji wouldn’t cheat on her. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Still, it was nice for him to reiterate that, though. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry this came up now.”
She shrugged. “My luck. But like you said, it’s bullshit. I’m not worried about it.”
“Are you sure? Are you okay?” he asked, and she shook her head again.
“No, I’m not.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, ’cause it won’t do anything,” she said sharply, feeling bad for it, but she was just pissed. Stupid Nikky Jiggler. Stupid Rick.
“Okay,” he said slowly as she pulled into the school parking lot. “You look beautiful today. At least when that douche is being an asshole, he’ll have regret for ever treating you wrong.”
Her lip quirked as she put the car in park. “Just what I want.”
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” he said as her eyes met his. “I wish I was there.”
“Me too. I haven’t even really talked to her about it. I told her that we had to meet him, and she had to tell him she didn’t want to go. She didn’t like that, told me she’s scared of him, Benji. How can you be okay with your daughter being scared of you?”
He shook his head. “Baby, I don’t know. It’s killing me. It really is.”
“I just— Shit, she’s getting in the car. Hey, honey bun!”
“Hey, Mom!” Angie jumped in, leaning over the seat and giving her a kiss. “Hey, Benji! You come home tomorrow, right?”
“Yup. We’re still having that dance party Sunday?”
“Duh! You better be ready.”
“Oh, I am,” he promised and Lucy grinned as Angie snatched the phone and sat down.
As Lucy pulled out, Angie said, “Hopefully, I’ll see you Saturday. Mom says I have to tell my dad I don’t want to go to his house.”
“Yeah, I know, sunshine. Are you okay with that?”
Lucy’s heart broke as Angie said, “Not really, but Mom says I have to.”
“You do. It’s legal adul
t crap that you shouldn’t have to deal with. But do me a favor, honey,” he asked, and Lucy caught Angie grinning in the mirror.
“Anything!”
He chuckled and it made Lucy’s heart swell. “No matter what happens, you’re coming home Sunday, and you don’t have to go back till after the first of the year. So just remember that and try to have fun.”
“But, Benji! He won’t take me to hockey and he yells all the time.”
“I know, sunshine, so just be strong, okay?”
When a tear slid down Lucy’s face, she wiped it away as her baby said, “Okay, I can do that.”
“All right, I miss you and can’t wait to see you Sunday!”
“Me too! I love you, Benji.”
That stole her breath and Lucy gripped the steering wheel as Angie grinned at the phone. Did her baby just say that? Holy crap, she did, and when Benji spoke, his voice was hoarse and full of emotion. “I love you too, sunshine. Be good, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay! Win some games, okay?”
“Of course. Hey, let me say bye to your mom.”
“Okay. Here, Mom,” she said, handing the phone back.
Holding it in her lap, Lucy felt him looking up at her but she couldn’t put him in his spot yet.
“I’m driving, sorry you’re getting my double chin.”
He laughed. “No, all I see is my gorgeous girlfriend.”
She grinned as she turned onto his road. “Yeah, yeah, sweet-talker. I’m almost home.”
“It could be your home,” he suggested and she shook her head.
“Shh, you. Can I call you later? I gotta get inside to do some work before taking Angie to practice.”
“Yeah. Listen, I’ll be at the game, but I’m gonna call you before we have to hit the ice. To check on you.”
“Okay,” she said, pulling into the driveway.
“It’s gonna be okay. Call me before if you need me.”
“I will,” she promised as she parked and held the phone up. When she saw he had tears in his eyes, she was breathless. He loved Angie so much, and he was just as pained as Lucy was. She prayed what he said was true. That they would both be strong through the ordeal, that it was going to be okay.
But she was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be.
Lucy’s heart was in her throat.
Her body was vibrating with nerves.
Her stomach was a mess.
And she was two seconds from falling apart.
She couldn’t do this.
No. She could do this.
She would do this.
Mindlessly, she stroked the back of Angie’s head as she looked out the window, hoping that Angie couldn’t sense her anxiety. She was sweaty, a little stinky, but Lucy didn’t care. She needed her to know she loved her because she was terrified that Angie would hate her after this—if this went the way her father said it would. How was she going to stand there and allow Rick to take her away? God, this was going to suck.
But maybe he would just let her be.
“Grandma, why are you coming?” Angie asked then, bringing Lucy’s attention back to her.
“We are going wedding shopping after we drop you off. So we figured we’d take you so I can make Mommy go,” she said with a laugh and Angie smiled.
“I want to go wedding shopping! Maybe Dad won’t make me go with him,” she said, her eyes full of hope as she met Lucy’s gaze.
“Yeah, let’s hope so,” River said before Lucy could. “But remember, baby, there is a chance he will and you’ll have to go.”
“But I don’t want to,” she said simply and Lucy’s lip started to quiver. She hated feeling so fucking weak. Why couldn’t she control this? Why couldn’t anything go the way she wanted? The only good thing was Angie and Benji. Well, when they were both with her.
“I know, baby, but we might not have a choice,” Autumn explained, turning in her seat.
But that didn’t work for Angie. Turning to Lucy, her gaze bored into her mother’s as she asked, “Mommy, you won’t make me, will you?”
She shook her head. “No honey, I won’t. I promise I won’t. But he can make you.”
Angie’s face twisted in confusion and maybe a bit of horror as she looked at her. “So I might have to go?”
Lucy’s eyes started to flood with tears and she cupped Angie’s sweet little cherub face. “Yeah, but remember what Benji said? It’s only two days and then you’ll be back home.”
Angie bit into her lip as she looked out the window. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry, Angie. I wish we could just go shopping.”
“Me too,” she answered, and then Lucy’s stomach dropped when she realized they were in the parking lot of Walmart.
No. Not yet. Fuck. Shit.
When her phone vibrated, she looked down to see it was a text from Benji.
Benji: You’ve got this. Keep your cool. Don’t give him any fuel for his fucked-up fire. Okay?
She was shaking too badly to text him back, and when she looked up, she saw Rick’s car. Her heart dropped into her stomach as River stopped in the spot beside him. Lucy hit her dad’s name in her phone and he answered but she didn’t speak, holding it in her hand. She went to turn, tell Angie that she was sorry again, that she loved her, but Angie took a deep breath and opened the door, her chin held high. Lucy almost lost it. She felt like she was falling apart, and she knew she would never remember getting out or walking around the car.
Before Rick could say anything, Angie took Lucy’s hand and said, “I don’t want to go to your house, Dad.”
He snorted, folding his arms over his chest. “That right? Your mom tell you to tell me that?”
“No,” Lucy said, her hands shaking at her sides as her mom and River got out of the car.
He laughed. “Brought the cavalry, I see. Where is that boyfriend? He off cheating on you again?”
Lucy’s head tilted to the side, her eyes narrowing. She’d had no reason to assume so, but now she was pretty sure Rick had something to do with that website. With Nikky Jiggler. “Why would you say that?”
“Word on the street—or blog, I guess,” he snarked and Lucy’s glare deepened.
“So you’re following hockey blogs now?”
He shrugged. “When they have the name of the dude who’s trying to play daddy to my daughter, yeah, I do.”
“Well, that’s fine. But one thing is for sure, Benji is not you, Rick,” her mother spat, but she pressed her lips together when River squeezed her hand.
“Aw, I don’t miss you, Autumn. Why are you here?” he sneered at her and then he rolled his eyes. “Angie, let’s go.”
“No. I don’t want to go.”
“Get in the car, Angela,” he said more sternly, his eyes boring into Lucy’s.
“No, Dad. I don’t want to go. I want to stay with my mom,” she said louder. “Go home, go to Disney World with Heidi and Nina.”
Lucy looked up. “What? That’s where you’re going for Christmas?”
“Yeah. So?”
While she didn’t want Rick to take Angie anyway, he couldn’t even want to take her? “You didn’t tell me this.”
“Why would I?”
“Um, I’d assume you’d take Angie.”
“No, I can’t afford it.”
“Wow, Rick, that’s low. Even for you.”
He scoffed. “What?”
“You don’t think she’d want to go? You can’t make that work?”
“I can’t make money appear,” he said simply and Lucy shook her head.
“But you have all kinds of money for all these lawyers?”
He rolled his eyes, taking a step forward. “Angela, let’s go now.”
“No!” she yelled and his face started to turn red.
“I won’t tell you again, Angela Lynn. Now.”
“I said no,” she said, wrapping her arms around Lucy’s waist.
Meeting Lucy’s gaze, he pointed to Angie. “Let her go and make her get in the car.�
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Lucy only shook her head no, her tears spilling over her cheeks. “No. According to my lawyer and our parenting plan, I don’t have to force her to go with you.”
“You stupid bitch,” he muttered, pulling his phone out.
“Watch your mouth, Hart,” River warned and Rick laughed.
“Shut it, old man. You don’t even belong here,” he spat back, and Lucy looked back at River, shaking her head.
River sucked in a deep breath as Rick yelled into the phone. “She won’t fucking come. What? No, this is my time. No, I’m sure her mom talked her into this. Whatever. Okay.”
He hung up and then looked over at Lucy and Angie, his eyes full of anger. “Get in the car, Angela, or I’ll make you.”
Angie’s eyes widened as Lucy’s heart broke into a million pieces. This was really about to happen. Holding her breath, Lucy looked down at her daughter as Angie said, “I don’t want to.”
“I don’t care what you want. Get in the car.” Rick practically stomped his foot.
“No!”
“Lucy, make her get in the car!” he yelled, his fists clenching at his sides, his voice rattling her soul.
Lucy’s lips trembled as she said, “No.”
“Lucy, be a fucking adult here and give me my kid.”
“I don’t have to,” she said simply, trying to keep her cool, when she really wanted to rip his head off.
“Mommy, don’t cry,” Angie said then, her arms tightening around Lucy. “It’s okay. I’m not going.”
“Yes, you fucking are,” Rick said, grabbing Angie’s arm and yanking her to him. Lucy cried out, wanting to hold on to her, but she couldn’t.
She fucking couldn’t.
Pulling away as hard as she could, Angie dug her fingers into Lucy as she screamed, “Mommy, make him stop!”
“I can’t, Angie. I’m so sorry,” Lucy sobbed as River came to her side, hugging her shoulders and kissing her cheek.
“It’s okay, honey, breathe,” he soothed. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do this.
“Leave her alone!” Lucy yelled and Rick yanked once more, but Angie wasn’t letting her go.
“Mommy! No!”
But then Autumn bent down, her hand on Angie’s back as Rick screamed at her. “Let go!” he yelled but Angie wouldn’t let go.