by Sherri Hayes
That wasn’t to say she didn’t get any writing done. She had. Without much effort, she’d written an entire chapter in less than two hours. That was a record. At least, for her.
Gabby scanned over the words on her screen and felt her internal temperature begin to rise. She pressed her legs together, desperate for friction as she continued to read. Everything she wanted to do with Jax—to have Jax do to her—was right there in black and white.
Her hand drifted down her belly to the button on her jeans. She pushed the button through the hole, releasing it, as her fingers dipped below her waistline.
The sound of her phone dinging brought her back to reality. As much as she’d have loved to let her mind continue down the path it was on, she couldn’t ignore her phone. It could be about Taylor.
It wasn’t. The text was from her mom letting her know she’d found Gabby’s “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament. Her mom had been more than a little distressed when she’d been putting up her tree and it wasn’t in with the other ornaments.
Gabby typed out a swift reply.
I’m glad you found it. - Gabby
She was going to leave it at that, but then thought better of it.
Where was it? - Gabby
It was in the back of the closet behind some blankets. It must have fallen out of the box. - Caroline
:) - Gabby
The brief chat with her mother via text was enough to cool Gabby’s libido. It was a good thing, too. When she looked at the clock, it was already after five. Jax would be there in less than an hour. She needed to have her head on straight when he got there.
Shutting down her computer, Gabby began tidying up. The house wasn’t exactly a wreck, but it was amazing how much of a mess a three-year-old could create in a very short amount of time.
She was readjusting the pillows on the couch when her doorbell rang.
Without her permission, her pulse kicked up a notch. It always did whenever he was near. She wished she could turn it off, but so far she hadn’t had much luck.
Gabby ran her hands along the front of her jeans before reaching for the doorknob.
He stood on her front porch, bundled up in a hat and gloves. It was only then she realized it was snowing.
She stepped back without a word, allowing him to enter.
“Thanks.” He removed his hat. “It’s actually coming down pretty good out there.”
Gabby swallowed, trying to ignore how his hair was ruffled as if he’d just tumbled out of bed. “I thought we weren’t supposed to get much.”
He walked into the kitchen and placed the bags of food on the counter before removing his coat and gloves. “So did I.” After draping his coat over one of the kitchen chairs, he went back to the food and began removing the containers from the bags. “I got your favorites.”
She commanded her feet to move. “I’ll get us some plates.”
It felt like old times as they loaded their plates with Chinese food and sat at the table, eating. Only it wasn’t like old times. They weren’t a couple anymore. And he was there to talk about their daughter.
He took several bites of his food before he spoke. “Mom called me about an hour ago. They made it to the hotel and were heading out to get some dinner.”
A lump formed in her throat. It had been hard enough getting used to her spending the weekend with Jax, but at least she was only a twenty-minute drive away. Knowing Taylor was in a completely different city without her was a new experience and Gabby wasn’t sure she liked it.
Jax must have realized her discomfort. “She’ll be okay.”
“I know.” Gabby shoveled another bite of food into her mouth. She waited until she’d swallowed before continuing. “It doesn’t bother you at all, does it? Having her on the other side of the state?”
He wiped his mouth on a napkin. “I didn’t say that.”
“You sure don’t act like it bothers you. You’re sitting there all relaxed like you don’t have a care in the world.”
Jax sighed and abandoned his food to give her his full attention. She wasn’t sure she liked that any better. “Gabby, I know this is hard. It is for me, too. My mom chastised me earlier and made it clear that Taylor will be fine. Besides, before long she’s going to want to sleep over at a friend’s house or go on school trips.”
Gabby stood, suddenly not hungry anymore. “She’ll be older then.”
“Yes. But those people won’t be family.” He followed her into the kitchen, not letting her escape the way she desperately wanted to. “Mom will call if there are any problems, but she’s going to be fine.”
Placing her plate onto the counter with a little more force than she’d intended, Gabby spun on her heels to face him. “But what if she wakes up crying, wanting me? Or you? We won’t be there.”
Moisture filled her eyes and she had no way to stop it. She was missing her little girl, yes, but it wasn’t only that. It was Jax being there as well. Having him in her home brought too many feelings to the surface.
“Gabby.” He reached for her and she didn’t stop him.
She held on to him, basking in the warmth and comfort he offered. “I don’t know how my mother did it.”
He rubbed her back in a soothing gesture as he continued to hold her. “Did what?”
“Let Grace and I go to camp. We’d be gone for an entire week.”
Jax groaned. “I’m not ready to think about that yet. We’ve still got a few years.”
His response made her feel a little better—like she wasn’t the only one who was feeling anxious about their daughter growing up. “I know. But it feels like just yesterday that she was learning how to walk and say her first words.”
He didn’t say anything and it took her a minute to realize why.
Gabby started to pull back, but he stopped her. They stared into each other’s eyes, their bodies still pressed together. A fact she was becoming highly aware of.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his fingers teasing the hair around her ear.
Neither pulled away. A tiny voice in the back of her mind screamed for her to run away, to get as far away as she possibly could before she did something stupid again, but she couldn’t get her limbs to work. Or maybe she didn’t want to.
Her fingers brushed against the collar of his sweater and her gaze drifted to his mouth. It had been weeks since he’d kissed her, but she could still feel the pressure of his lips against hers.
He cupped the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. “Gabby . . .”
She knew he felt it, too—the shift in the air around them. What had started out as comfort had changed into desire.
There were so many reasons why she should stop this, and the biggest reason was Taylor. They needed to keep things civil for her. She deserved that. She needed that.
But their daughter wasn’t at the forefront of her mind at the moment. Gabby’s nipples hardened at the memory of Jax’s mouth on them . . . of his hands caressing her skin.
A moan escaped her lips and she felt his grip tighten. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. The same emotions she was feeling were reflected back at her.
Then she did something she would most likely regret. She grabbed the back of his head and tugged him toward her, sealing her lips to his in a searing kiss that left no doubt about the direction of her thoughts.
It took him a split second to catch up, but when he did, he didn’t hold back. He crushed her body to him, not allowing any space between them. She lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist, using the leverage to grind her pelvis against his erection.
Jax gasped, breaking their kiss. “Gabby.” He was breathing hard as he stared into her eyes. “If we don’t stop . . .”
She never broke eye contact. “I don’t want to stop.”
A moment later they were moving. He picked her up, wrapped her other leg around his waist, and carried her down the hall toward her bedroom.
***
Jax knew this would only complicate
things, but at that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much. He wanted her and nothing else mattered except feeling her body surround him in every possible way.
On the way to her bedroom, he stubbed his toe on the doorjamb and had to stifle a groan. While it hurt, it didn’t take long for the pain to take a back seat to the feel of Gabby against him. The weight of her breasts rubbing against his chest was extremely distracting.
As soon as he made it through her bedroom door, he headed for the bed. He was a little less than graceful as he lowered them onto the mattress, but she didn’t seem to care any more than he did. With her newfound leverage, Gabby began rocking her hips against him, driving him mad.
He reached behind him, untangled her legs from around his waist, and immediately went to work on removing her jeans. It took him longer than it should have. Maybe it was because he was out of practice, or maybe because he was enjoying their kiss too much to divert his attention. He wanted his hands, his mouth, to be everywhere at once. It was always that way with her.
When he finally freed the button on her jeans, he lowered the zipper and she lifted her hips. He ripped his mouth away from hers long enough to remove her pants and throw them over his shoulder. Seconds later, he fell on top of her again, letting her feel his weight. He remembered she’d shared with him once how much she loved the weight of him pressing her into the mattress, and by her reaction that hadn’t changed.
She snaked her hands between them and began unbuttoning his jeans. When her fingers brushed against his cock he sucked in a breath, trying to steady himself. He wasn’t even sure she’d meant to do it, but his body didn’t care.
As soon as he felt the zipper release, Jax pushed his jeans down his legs before kicking them the rest of the way off. She wasted no time circling her legs around him again and drawing their lower halves together. The feel of her against him, only two thin layers of fabric between them, was close to torture. He wanted to be inside her, but he also wanted to feel every inch of her first. It was a perplexing dilemma.
He felt her fingers dancing along the hem of his sweater and knew she wanted it off. Grabbing hold of the bottom of his sweater, he worked it up his torso and over his head, releasing her lips only long enough for the offending material to be removed.
Gabby flattened her palms over his chest and let her fingers explore. Everywhere she touched sent fire to his groin. He needed to touch her in the same way.
It took a little more maneuvering to remove her sweater and bra, but he managed with a little help from her. As if drawn to them like magnets, he cupped her breasts in both his hands, massaging them. He loved her breasts—not all that surprising since he was a guy, but it was so much more than that. He loved the way she arched her back as if begging him for more. And he loved the little sounds she made at the back of her throat when he ran his thumbs over her nipples.
His cock was so hard in that moment that it was almost painful, but he wasn’t ready to give in to his desire to be inside her quite yet. Releasing her lips, he lowered his mouth to cover her nipple. She threaded her fingers through his hair, holding him to her while he licked and sucked to his heart’s content.
As he continued his assault on her breasts, her grinding against his cock increased. He released her nipple and rested his forehead against her chest as he tried to catch his breath. “You’re going to kill me.”
“Then get the rest of these clothes off us and fuck me already.”
Jax laughed. He couldn’t help himself. “Yes, ma’am.”
Abandoning her breasts for the time being, he rocked back on his heels, took hold of her panties, and stripped them down her legs. Once she was completely naked, he wasted no time standing and removing his underwear as well. He fished a condom out of his jeans before climbing back onto the bed on top of her.
Gabby lay spread out before him, legs spread, waiting. He wanted to take the time to enjoy the view, but she wasn’t having any part of it. She sat up, snatched the condom out of his hand, and ripped it open.
With the skill of someone who’d done it hundreds of times, she rolled the condom over his erection. He gritted his teeth trying not to explode solely from her touch.
She lay back and admired her work for a moment before hooking her leg around him again and urging him on top of her. He braced himself with one arm and used the other to guide himself to his goal.
Her soft warmth welcomed him as he eased into her pussy. Gabby opened her legs more, inviting him in and there was no way he was going to refuse. He thrust his hips, pushing his cock the rest of the way into her. It was a feeling he would never get used to and craved more than his next breath.
His lips found hers again as he began to move. Their flesh pushed and pulled as they moved against each other seeking pleasure and so much more. If nothing else, their bodies still knew the rhythm they’d perfected over the countless hours they’d spent exploring and loving each other.
She scraped her nails along his back and he gasped, almost losing his focus as the pain mixed with the pleasure coursing through him. He nibbled on her neck, knowing how much she loved it, and was rewarded with the feel of her digging her fingers into his shoulders. She was getting close and so was he.
Jax shifted his weight so he could get his hand between them and found her clit. She bucked against his hand. “Yes!”
“That’s it, baby. Let go. Come for me.”
He felt her inner muscles flex around him, driving him closer to his own climax.
Gabby’s chest rose and fell more rapidly as she climbed higher and higher toward her goal. He held on to her just as tight, needing to have her close while he was given the chance. Jax knew that once they both came down from this high the tables would be turned and not in his favor. This wasn’t how he’d wanted to start the night but had been powerless to stop it.
Several minutes passed as he increased the pressure on her clit in time with his thrusts before she tensed. A low whine passed her lips as she came apart in his arms. He captured her lips again with his own and let go. It didn’t take long before he was following her over the edge.
Jax lay there on top of her, blood pumping through his veins, trying to catch his breath. He knew the moment the euphoria of her orgasm began to fade. Gabby removed her hands from his shoulders, holding them as if she didn’t know quite where to put them. She cleared her throat. “I need to use the bathroom.”
While he doubted that was actually the case, he rolled off her, freeing her to get up.
She scurried out of the bed and took off for the bathroom without looking back.
Sighing, Jax sat up on the bed and ran his fingers through his hair. He had no idea what he was going to do now. The point of tonight had been for them to talk—nothing more. He’d hoped it would be the first step to rebuilding trust. Somehow, he doubted what they’d just done would do anything to help facilitate that end goal.
He removed the condom and went to put it in the trash, then began gathering his clothes. By the time he’d finished dressing, Gabby still wasn’t out of the bathroom.
Figuring he’d give her some time, he walked into the kitchen. The Chinese food he’d brought was still sitting out on the counter. He had no idea if she’d want to eat, but he was starving. Taking a plate, he loaded it up and popped it into the microwave.
He was sitting down at the table with his food when Gabby emerged from the hallway. Her eyes were red and a little puffy. She’d been crying.
All thought of being hungry left him. “Are you all right?”
She hugged herself as she met his gaze. “No.”
Chapter 5
Gabby wanted to lock herself in the bathroom and not come out until he was gone, but she knew she couldn’t do that. First of all, she doubted he’d leave until he saw her. Second, she wasn’t a coward. So despite wanting to hide, she dried her tears and went to face him.
They stood on opposite sides of the room, staring at each other. He’d asked if she was all right and she’d
been honest. She was anything but all right. He tied her up in knots, made her forget good sense, and generally made her crazy.
Jax took a step toward her and then seemed to think better of it. “Are you hungry? I warmed up some of the Chinese food.”
She wasn’t really, but it was that or asking him to leave, which she hadn’t completely ruled out. “Sure.”
He pushed the plate she knew he’d made for himself in her direction and motioned that she should have a seat while he got up to make himself a new plate. This was why it was so difficult to remind herself that she couldn’t trust him. If it was an act, that would be different, but it wasn’t. This was just Jax. He’d always put her first. Always.
Until the day he’d told her he was leaving town.
Pushing those thoughts aside, she picked up the fork he’d left behind and stabbed a piece of chicken. Her stomach didn’t rebel, so she kept eating. After taking a couple more bites, she realized she was hungry after all.
The microwave dinged and Jax brought his new plate full of food to the table. They ate in silence for several minutes before he finally spoke. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“I know.” It would be so easy to blame him, but it wasn’t his fault. Not entirely. Not at all, actually. After all, he had been the one to say it wasn’t a good idea.
More awkward silence followed. It had been bad enough the first time it happened. She could write it off as a fluke, bad judgment. But for it to happen again? She couldn’t dismiss it so easily. Was she doomed for the rest of her life to love a man who’d left her and their child?
Gabby didn’t want to examine that too closely, so she did the only thing she could do. She deflected. “You said you wanted to come over tonight to talk about custody.”
He released a breath loud enough for her to hear. “I want us to all be together on Christmas. I think Taylor needs that.”