Wow, she was so far off the mark. “It’s nothing like that, baby.”
“Then what is it?”
“Well…you’ve already met my mother.”
“I have?” She raised an eyebrow. “When? Does she work at your company?”
“No…it’s Cleo.”
She stilled at the revelation, needing seconds to process what I’d said. “Cleo? As in, the woman who trained me to work for you?”
I nodded. “It was her idea to keep it a secret, not mine.”
She closed her eyes then covered her face with her hand. “Oh my god…you’ve got to be kidding me. She’s your mother?” She dropped her hand and gave me an incredulous look. “Oh shit…”
“I know she likes you, so—”
“I’m so embarrassed right now.” She fell back onto the bed and covered her face with both palms. “I told her you were hot like three times…”
That made me grin. “It’s not a big deal, baby.”
She pulled her hands off her face. “Then I told her how incredible you were and how I love working for you…blah, blah.”
“Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because it was probably obvious that I was hung up on you. I gushed to her like she was a girlfriend, you know?” She sat up again, her eyes widening like something dawned on her. “Now it makes so much more sense. She said her husband was really good-looking, but she was never worried about him cheating… It was your dad…who’s hot.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Did you just call my dad hot?”
“Come on, you know he is.”
I chuckled. “I…I don’t know what to say to that.”
She got out of bed and started to pull on her tights. “This is so mortifying. Why didn’t she tell me she was your mom?”
“She said you wouldn’t be yourself, which is fair.”
“Ugh.” She slipped on her heels then pulled the sweater dress over her head. “So fucking embarrassing.”
I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “It’s not embarrassing. You said you were attracted to me. That’s not egregious. You’re a woman and I’m a man.”
“Look.” She turned back to me and held up her hand. “How would you feel if you met my father and told him you thought I was hot without knowing he was my father until later?”
I shrugged. “If I’m dating you, then obviously, I think you’re hot—so that’s implied anyway.”
She rolled her eyes and left the bedroom.
I pulled on a shirt then went after her. “You’re overthinking it. I know my mother likes you.”
“How?” She grabbed her purse and pulled it over her shoulder.
“Because she dropped a couple hints about me asking you out. She wouldn’t have done that unless she liked you. Come on, everything is fine. You’re reacting emotionally because you’re embarrassed, when there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re physically attracted to me, and I’m physically attracted to you. But we’re also emotionally attracted to each other, and that’s what matters. We have both, so that’s what matters to them, and that’s what makes them happy.”
The emotion slowly drained from her eyes as she drifted back to earth, as she became pragmatic once again.
“A couple months ago, my dad had a conversation with me that I didn’t want to have. He told me to stop running around with younger women and find a partner my age to have a meaningful relationship with, someone with a connection that goes beneath the skin. That’s what we have. That’s what they want.”
She regarded me for a long time, the distress finally gone from her gaze. “I’m surprised he said that to you. I mean, a lot of rich, hot guys never settle down. They run around with young women forever, even into their sixties.”
I stared at her for a long time, my breathing increasing because the pain of the past still haunted me, after all this time. I didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to talk about the worst night of my life when I had looked like the biggest idiot on the fucking planet, when I’d lost my best friend since first grade…and the woman I trusted more than anyone else. “Because he knew my promiscuous lifestyle was a result of the last relationship I was in…and I never really recovered from it.”
Her eyes fell with pain, like she felt exactly what I did without even knowing what happened. “Derek, what—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I didn’t mention it to get into a discussion about it. I just needed to explain. “I just want you to understand that my parents are very happy about this relationship, and the last thing you need to worry about is their opinion of you—because their opinion of you is directly correlated to my happiness. I’m sure it’s obvious by now, but in case it’s not, I’m really fucking happy.”
She came to me, her hands pressing against my stomach, looking up at me with that beautiful face. “I’m really happy too, Derek.”
When I looked into those eyes, I got lost, got lost in this new reality she gave me. My life had more meaning in a way it hadn’t before. My entire identity was based on my profession, but she made it mean more.
“But…you can tell me anything. There’s nothing you could say to make me think less of you, make this relationship change. I don’t care who was in your heart before me, what happened, but I don’t want you to be afraid to share.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid… I just don’t want to talk about it.”
Her hands circled my waist, and she came closer to me until her face was next to mine. “Maybe in time, you’ll tell me, and I’m patient enough to wait and see.”
Nineteen
Emerson
Lizzie finished her dishes before she wiped down the counters. She used to slack off on her chores, but when they weren’t done well enough, I made her do them again, so she learned it was smart to do them right the first time. “I’m going to bed.” She came to me at the table and hugged me and her grandmother before she went to her room. “Night.”
“Night, sweetheart.” My mom watched her walk down the hallway as she drank from her tea. The second Lizzie’s bedroom door shut down the hallway, she turned on me. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on or what?”
I looked up from my laptop, ignoring the emails sitting in Derek’s inbox and giving her a puzzled expression. “Sorry?”
“Honey, how stupid do you think I am? You think I don’t notice the smeared makeup? You clean yourself up good, but you used to come home from work every day just as fresh as when you left, and now you walk in the door like you just went to the gym.”
Damn, my mom was good.
“I wasn’t going to say anything because I thought this was just one of your flings or whatever, but it’s been a few weeks now.”
I closed my laptop and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s none of your business, Mom.”
“It is when I’m the one watching your daughter.”
“Like you don’t love watching her.”
“Not the point.” She shook her finger at me. “And I’m just nosy. I’m supposed to be. I’m your mother after all.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It’s Derek, isn’t it?”
“Mom.”
“I can see it all over your face.” She shot me a victorious look before she drank her tea again. “That is one gorgeous man, so good for you. But he’s also your boss…and that’s a big no-no. Come on, the entire family relies on this income, and you shouldn’t risk it because you can’t help yourself—”
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s not?” she asked, setting down her mug.
“The relationship is pretty new, but…it’s a relationship.”
“Really?” she asked.
I nodded. “I wouldn’t risk employment if it weren’t worth it…and he is worth it. He also told me if it really got bad, we could still work together and never see each other in person. Communicate via email and such.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Don’t tell Lizzie
.”
“Like I ever would. I know better than that.”
I propped my chin on my closed knuckles and sighed.
My mom studied me. “You’re crazy about this man, aren’t you?”
All I gave was a nod.
“Well, I hope it works out… I really do.”
“Me too, Mom. Me too.” It was so early in the relationship that I shouldn’t even think about the future, shouldn’t picture him being a father to my daughter, but it was hard not to when he made me so happy.
“He’s okay with Lizzie? That says a lot about a man, to accept the child from another father.”
“Well…he initially wasn’t happy about it because I never told him about Lizzie at all. He wasn’t interested in a relationship anymore at that point. But he changed his mind…and said he’ll try…further down the road.”
Mom gave a deep sigh. “That’s risky, sweetheart.”
“I know, but…” I was a pragmatic person who never took risks, unless it was a certain outcome. But I risked my job, my heart, everything for him. “I just couldn’t say no.”
“A man like that, rich and good-looking, isn’t going to settle for a single mother.”
That fucking hurt.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. But it’s my job to say what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. He just wants to be with you, and once he’s fulfilled, he’ll realize it’s not worth it and walk away.”
That was my worst nightmare, watching him walk away, his physical urges quenched.
“It’s hard enough to get a man to settle down, but with a woman who already has a child…not going to happen. Unless he has kids of his own, it’s just impossible. Maybe you should get out of this relationship while it’s still new.”
I dropped my gaze. “It’s too late for that…”
My mother continued to study me. “I hope I’m wrong, sweetheart. I really do.”
“He said he would try, and I have to believe he will.”
“That’s a really vague promise, Emmy. You should assume he’s going to leave. That way, it’ll hurt less when he does.”
I inhaled a deep breath, the air painful on the way out.
“You’re such a sweet person, and I’m so proud of you who you’ve become. You’re a great mother, a great daughter, a great provider for this family, and I just want you to be with a man that you deserve. Of course, I want some rich stud who can give you a life you deserve, but that’s not reality, and I just don’t want someone to crush your spirit. Be happy while you can since you’re already stuck in this, but…it won’t last, Emmy. Cushion the fall so it doesn’t break every bone in your body.”
“Baby?”
My eyes were down on my laptop as I sat on the couch, replaying the conversation with my mother in my head, hearing her voice like she was right next to me, haunting me with the fears that consumed me during the quiet moments. “Hmm?” I lifted my chin and looked up at him, seeing the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid eyes on. He had sincere eyes, matching the tone that came from that sexy mouth.
He moved to the couch across from me and lowered himself, his arms resting on his knees as he leaned forward, his feet planted against the rug. His wide eyes were still glued to my face, unblinking, studying me like a butterfly that might fly away any moment. “I know there’s something on your mind, and I want you to talk to me about it.” It was a candid approach to a problem, but he didn’t know how to go about it a better way than to outright ask. “You’ve been…different…all day. I can feel a change here, and I can’t figure out what it is. I don’t think I did anything, and if I’m wrong about that, please tell me what it is so I can correct the behavior.”
He approached my emotions like a scientific experiment, outright asking for data instead of approaching me like a human with a range of feelings. It was endearing coming from him. I closed my laptop and stared down at it for a moment before I found the words I wanted to say. “My mom knows about you. She figured it out…because she knows things.”
His fingers were interlocked between his knees, and he waited for me to say more.
“She just said a couple things that hurt, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.”
“What did she say?” he asked quietly, fear in his voice.
I shrugged. “You know…that this relationship has no future, and I’m risking a lot for slim odds. My mom is really frank about things…just how she is. It bummed me out, but I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow.”
“Could you be more specific?” he whispered.
“She basically said no handsome billionaire is going to be a stepfather to Lizzie, and once this fizzles out, you’ll disappear…after you satisfy your physical need to have me. My job is at risk, my heart is at risk, and I’m risking it all for zero chance of success.”
He stared down at his joined hands, absorbing my words.
“It doesn’t change us… It just upset me, I guess.” It’d only been a short time since our physical relationship began, but I was so attached to him, and I knew that was because this relationship began long before we shared a single touch.
He stayed quiet.
“Anyway, it’s getting late—”
“I said I would try. I meant that.” He lifted his gaze to look at me. “My feelings for you are pretty obvious. If you haven’t noticed, then you should pay better attention. I can’t promise you anything, and I want to take this slow, but my intentions are honest. I’m risking as much as you are because I’ve been hurt badly in my life. My birth mother abandoned me, and I never want to feel that way again.” He stared me down and watched my face for a reaction.
My affection for him deepened because of the honest way he spoke to me, the way he reminded me of why I was risking my heart—because he was worth it. He was better than any other man out there, and I would risk everything for him a million times…and risk nothing for anyone else.
“Don’t give up on me before you’ve given me a chance.” His voice changed, his voice slightly pleading. “I can’t lose you…not now.” His eyes had been glued to my face in a special way since I’d let him into my heart, in a way he’d never looked at me before, in a way he’d probably never looked at anyone else.
“You aren’t going to lose me, Derek.”
He opened the door to his penthouse and looked at me with that intense gaze, like I was just as beautiful now as I was the last time he saw me. I was dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved sweater, wanting to be casual and authentic. Both of his parents had already met me, so I didn’t need to impress them.
They knew exactly who I was.
His arms circled my waist until his hands gripped my lower back and pulled me close. A deep kiss was pressed to my lips, shadowed skin slightly rough against my skin. His hands tightened on me as he pulled me closer, as he embraced me on the doorstep like he wanted to pull me inside and to his bedroom.
I wanted to be kissed like that forever.
He pulled away and loosened his hold. “Ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be…”
“They already like you, baby.”
“I know. I just…feel a little awkward. I’ve never done this before. You know, meet a boyfriend’s parents.”
“You’ll be perfect at it—just as you’re perfect at everything you do.” After he locked the door behind us, he took my hand and walked with me down the hallway to the elevator.
It was the first time we’d held hands in public. We stood in the elevator together and rode down to the lobby.
He glanced at me, as if to check on me.
I got lost in those eyes the second he looked at me, lost enough to forget where we were going.
Hand in hand, we walked down the sidewalk together, under the streetlights, like two regular people, a man and a woman. He wasn’t my boss. I wasn’t his assistant. We were just us. It was nice.
He approached the restaurant and opened the door for me.
Now I got nervous again.
Derek
moved his arm around my waist and guided me to the table where his parents were waiting.
They sat at a table together, side by side, both having a glass of white wine, with a bottle on the table. Deacon’s arm was over the back of Cleo’s chair, and he stared at her with the same focused expression his son had when he looked at me, and he listened to every word she said, like he was fascinated. His fingers lightly grazed over her shoulder, his affection subtle but powerful. That was all it took to show that he was a man still in love with the woman he’d married decades ago.
It was really cute.
When we approached the table, Derek moved first. “Mom. Dad.”
Cleo turned to him, her eyes lighting up like her greatest joy just walked into the room. She was on her feet, in sky-high heels, and she embraced him like it’d been years since she’d last seen his face. “Honey, how are you?”
“Good.” He kissed her on the cheek then embraced his father. “Dad.”
He smiled as he looked at his son.
Cleo moved to me next, wearing a slightly awkward smile. “I’m sorry that I deceived you. I hope there’re no hard feelings. I just wanted you to be comfortable with me so I could help you as much as possible.”
It’d been months since the last time I saw her, and I’d had affection for her from the moment we met. She was kind, bubbly, and so smart. We clicked right away, and I viewed her as a friend or the aunt I never had. “There’s definitely no hard feelings at all. I just… I’m a little embarrassed of the things that I said to you.”
“Honey, don’t be.” She grabbed both of my arms and gave me a friendly squeeze. “Every straight woman in the world thinks my son is handsome because he is. If anything, it’s a compliment.” She gave me an encouraging smile. “And I want you to know how happy I am about you and Derek. You’re such a kind and giving person, and I know you genuinely care about my son for who he is.”
And just like that, all my unease disappeared. “That makes me happy to hear.”
The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless Book 6) Page 20