‘A lift? With Poppy and the... ’
‘I think that Poppy and Philip need to rest for a bit just now. You saw how they were held together last night? I doubt they got much sleep, fastened together naked but quite unable to touch! No, the Newcombes will take lunch down to the boathouse. They might use a Landrover, but as it’s a nice day they might take the donkey cart.’
‘Oh,’ said Cassie, who had seen some donkeys grazing in the paddock, but being a city girl had not realised that they could actually be used to provide transport.
‘Now at other times Caroline does have pony-girls to... But you can ask Caroline about that. Do you mind walking?’
‘Not at all, it’s a really lovely day.’
‘It is, and walking is good for you, and for me as well. Keeps up the definition of your legs as well as burning calories from all this food we keep eating here!’
Cassie wondered how many calories were being burnt up in exercises such as she and Sylvie had been engaged in the previous night!
Chapter Seven
Confessions
In what seemed a magically short time later, Cassie was floating in the sun-warmed water, languidly kicking her feet and looking at the willows on the near bank by the boathouse. On the far bank was forest with the hills rising behind it. Jo had been right. It was much nicer than a swimming pool.
She was wearing a fairly conventional flowery printed bikini and a lot of waterproof sun-block.
In this warm shallow water (she knew her toes could touch the bottom), she felt much more confident than she had ever been before.
She heard splashing from further out. Jo and Caroline and Sadie and Sylvie were racing out to a platform moored about halfway across the broad lake. Cassie saw Sadie win the race, and haul herself out on to the sun-baked wooden platform. She was wearing a miniscule iridescent blue bikini, which did little more than display the curves of her wet and shiny body. Cassie could see her gleaming in the sunlight, tossing her long blonde hair behind her as she held up both her arms and shouted in triumph.
Cassie tried to wave in response, but floating on her back all she managed to do was sink. When she had surfaced again, with both feet on the bottom, she could see that Caroline and Sylvie had joined Sadie on the platform; Caroline in a red-gold high cut one-piece, and Sylvie in pink shiny scraps of fabric, quite like Sadie’s. Cassie looked at her own bikini top and wished, as she did all the time now, that she had more to show!
Together the three women knelt to help Jo out of the water. She wore a very brief red-gold bikini, of a similar colour to Caroline’s one-piece. Even with her distant view, Cassie saw the brief flash of the gold dragon on her lower back.
She felt something brush against her, and looking down, saw a small shoal of shining minnows around her legs. She picked up both feet, and nearly sank again. When she had spluttered her way back to the surface, she saw Caroline say something to Sadie, who dived effortlessly into the water and set off towards Cassie.
The platform being too far out to make a viable target, Cassie tried swimming towards the landing stage and its steps. Her rather jerky breast-stroke kept her afloat, but did not propel her very fast.
‘How are you doing?’ Sadie surfaced beside her, having made the last part of her approach submerged. She trod water, and swept her long hair out of her eyes. ‘I promised Caroline to keep an eye on you, but I got distracted by the race. Sorry about that, but did you see me win?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Cassie, keeping afloat with her doggy paddle. ’You all seem to be such good swimmers.’
‘Well with this lovely lake and this marvellous summer weather who wouldn’t be. We come down from the house often if it’s warm like this. But swimming is such good exercise even when it’s colder; just not as much fun. There is the pool on the terrace of course, but it’s not as nice as here.’
‘It’s ever so much nicer than the swimming pools in London.’
‘Of course it is, no crowds and no chlorine, and no-one ogling you or trying to touch you up.’
Having said that, Sadie had to grab Cassie’s arm as the younger girl almost sank again.
‘Come on, do you want to come to the ladder; you’re well out of your depth here.’ She assisted Cassie to get to the ladder, and the two girls pulled themselves out and sat side by side in the sunshine.
‘Have you lived in London?’
‘Yes. I was at Uni for nearly two years. But it got very .... difficult.’
Cassie could see her brow furrow. It was obviously an uncomfortable memory for her.
‘Then I met the Doctors Startway, Peter and Jo that is, and they introduced me to Caroline, and old Mr Benedict. And now...’
She stopped. ‘You’ve been in quite a long time, shall we swim back to the beach, and then we can get dry, and put on some more sun block. Jo will be shouting at us if we don’t; and we can have a longer talk after lunch.’
Looking down Cassie could see a few medium size dark green fish around the piles of the stage.
‘They ‘re perch,’ said Sadie. ‘They do have spines, but they keep away from people in the water. My dad likes to fish for them, and they’re quite good to eat; well with proper cooking that is.’
‘Your Dad?’
‘Yes, Fred Newcombe; I’m Sadie Newcombe, or I am now anyway.’
Cassie took in this information.
‘Don’t your mum and dad ... mind that...?’
‘Not now they don’t. I was a terrible mess before. When Jo and Caroline started to get me sorted out Caroline insisted on meeting my parents, and it ended up with them coming to work here. They were both wanting to retire anyway, and it’s not exactly hard labour for them here. They love it.’
There was a pause.
‘And now Mum loves having another daughter. Except she’s trying to teach me to cook (she didn’t have much time..... before) and I’m a slow learner. Perhaps you’ll do better; if you want to that is.’
‘I like cooking.’ Cassie had had to cook for her struggling family in the last months in London. It was one of the few things she could take pleasure in.
‘Mum will be delighted. Come on, let’s swim back.’
Sadie dived head first into the water, then surfaced laughing, adjusting her bikini top.
‘I keep forgetting about that little problem with this top. If you dive the wrong way it can end up round your ears!’
Cassie gently stepped down the ladder, and pushed herself off backwards. As she set off towards the little beach with the backstroke that she found quite easy, (all she had to do was float on her back and kick her feet) she thought that she really did want to have little problems of that kind. She also thought that it might be nice to learn to cook properly with Sadie’s mum.
*****************************
The little sandy beach between the landing stage and the boathouse faced west, and made a warm and sheltered spot for the two girls, now that the sun had moved round and they got some shade from the old creeper-clad timbers of the boathouse.
Lunch had seemed luxurious to Cassie, even getting used as she was to the ways of this household. They had all helped themselves from splendid picnic hampers that Fred Newcombe had laid out in the shadow of the great oak trees that formed a natural courtyard behind this secluded part of the lake shore. Cassie had adored the salmon mousse and the champagne punch, and had said so to Mrs Newcombe.
‘Sadie said just now that you liked cooking. That’s good. What do you like to cook best?’
Cassie had said that she was very much self-taught and had only made simple things like casseroles.
‘Nothing wrong with a good casserole, and you can use up things in them. Fred really likes the sausage casserole that I do with potatoes and mustard.’
This sounded quite sophisticated to Cassie.
‘I’ve only tried to make things that I thought I might like.’
‘Well, if you like what you’re making then you’ll make it much better. The danger is that you lik
e what you cook too much!’
Mrs Newcombe patted her (not very) round tummy.
‘Anyway, a thin little thing like you needs to put on a bit of weight.’
‘Well I wouldn’t...’
‘Yes, and of course you will want to put into the proper places, I know, just like Sadie, and just like Lizzy, she’s my daugh... my other daughter, well just like any girl really. All of you so concerned about weight. Anyway, if you want to cook I’m sure we can work together. It’ll be fun. I’m trying to teach Sadie, but she doesn’t really like it, and I can never get her to take her nail varnish off before mixing dough!’
Cassie had no idea how to mix dough, and no real idea what dough was for and she said so.
‘Well baking bread is really fun, and kneading dough lets you work off lots of aggression. You’ll see!’
Cassie had agreed to learn how to make bread, and Belle said she was sure she would enjoy it.
She had repeated this news to Sadie after lunch.
‘Well good for you, and good for Mum as well. She really likes teaching people things; and it’s not as though cooking is like a gender related thing anyway. Lots of men can cook, and lots of women can’t. I think if you enjoy it you should do it!’
‘Does your... your sister cook?’
‘Lizzy? (Elizabeth’s her proper name). Yes, she’s very good. I mean Mum has always been a good family cook, but I think she had to keep trying new things just to keep up with Lizzy.’
‘Where does your sister live now? Sorry – if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘She lives with her husband and two kids near Manchester, and no of course I don’t mind you asking. It’s probably due to Lizzy that I’m sat here talking to you anyway.’
In reply to Cassie’s unspoken question, Sadie carried on.
‘Elizabeth is four years older than me, so I was always her baby brother. We always played together, and lots of times she liked dressing me up. No-one minded when we were both little, but Mum and Dad didn’t like it when we got older. So we went “underground”, and Lizzy took me to her friend’s houses, and they would try lots of things on me. I was like a little pet to a group of teenage girls.’
Sadie smiled at Cassie.
‘Not that I minded. What young boy would mind being in the constant company of older girls. They kept making me up, and dressing me up. They even took me on shopping trips as their younger sister. It was lovely, but I didn’t really get the chance to develop as a “normal” boy; not that I liked the “boys” things anyway, like football and stuff. I was more interested in music and art and design and how people work.’
‘What about the rest of your family, didn’t they... mind?’ asked Cassie.
‘Well, as I said, we went underground for the dressing up and stuff. For everything else they were very tolerant. I have an elder brother as well, but he is quite a bit older, so he was away to Uni when I was still growing up. I think Mum and Dad thought I might be gay, but they really tried to be supportive and helpful, and we went to a really good school as well that encouraged people to do what they were good at. But then... there was this girl, the younger sister of one of Lizzy’s friends. She was always there at the dressing up parties, and she was in the same year as me. We just got closer and closer, and spent a lot of time together. We both liked dressing up, and dressing each other up as well. Then, when we were both about sixteen, and... developing... you know, well, I just wanted to be like her, and grow breasts and everything. She, Jenny, helped me look up what to do, and found out about things you could take.’
‘What, hormones?’ asked Cassie, rather startled at what these teenagers had got up to.
‘No – we couldn’t get those, well we probably could have done, on-line you know, but there were herbal supplements that you can buy at health food shops. Jenny used to get them for me. And we used to keep each other’s bodies smooth. Plucking and waxing. It hurt a lot until we got really good at it.’
‘But didn’t you... like each other?’ asked Cassie
‘Oh yes, Jenny really used to like fucking with me. By the time we were seventeen we had tried out about everything we could think of. That’s one reason why she didn’t want me to go on to hormones properly. She said she wanted parts of me to keep working properly. It’s as well we managed to keep everything hidden from our parents. I think Jenny’s elder sister knew, and I think she may have told Lizzy, but neither of them gave us away. Mum and Dad were just happy that I’d got a girlfriend.’
‘Did the herbal stuff work?’ asked Cassie. ‘Did you start to ... develop?’
‘Oh yes. My nipples got puffy, and I grew little breasts. Jenny used to get really excited by that, and loved playing with them. It got so that I couldn’t go to a swimming pool, and I had to always wear baggy shirts. Anyway, we both got on quite well at school. Everyone knew we were involved with each other and just left us alone. I got really interested in psychology, and Jenny wanted to go into nursing. So we both got places at Uni and were really looking forward to moving into our own places. When we got there, we didn’t live in the same flat, but we were quite close, and I could really come out. I got my hair done properly for the first time, and wore makeup a lot of the time. Just eyeliner you know, but it made me feel great. I wore ordinary clothes, jeans and shirts sort of thing in the day, but when we went out in the evening I could wear proper dresses, and show off my shape. We were on the edge of the gay scene, and everyone we met, well most people, were fairly friendly and non-threatening. Jenny suggested that I get some permanent makeup, for my eyeliner. I was hesitating a bit, but she got so excited by the idea that I had it done, and got my ears pierced.’
‘That sounds quite... dramatic,’ said Cassie.
‘Yes, are you going to get yours done?’
‘I expect so. I really like ear rings, and coping with clip-ons is a nuisance. But Jo said to wait for a few months, to see if I’m really... happy with everything.’
‘I’m sure you will be. You look to me like you were meant to be a lovely girl,’ Sadie replied reassuringly, and patted Cassie’s hands. She sounded just like Sylvie, and as Cassie realised later, just like Caroline as well.
‘So what happened then?’ asked Cassie.
‘Jenny got really really excited by my permanent makeup, and she gave me some really big hoop earrings, and we had this most amazing evening. We went out to the club we’d found. My breasts had grown in some more by then, and we both wore amazing matching dresses. We thought we might get into trouble if our dancing got any sexier, so we went back to my flat, and Jenny made me do a striptease, and when I was naked I had to undress her, and we did just about everything we had ever done before. Then... then...’ Sadie stopped.
Cassie saw tears in her eyes.
‘Then... she dumped me.’
‘How could she do that?’ Cassie was much more shocked by this than by the trans-gender experimentation.
‘Oh – she didn’t come round for a few days and then she sent me a text saying we needed to talk. We met up in a cafe where we usually went, and she said... she said...’ Sadie stopped again.
‘It’s OK,’ said Cassie, taking the other girl’s hands, ‘You don’t need to go on.’
‘No, it’s alright. I’ll tell you the full tale, and then you can see how lucky you are! I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have said that. Caroline did say that you had had your own... troubles.’
‘Well yes...’
‘She didn’t say what of course. It’s one of Caroline’s rules that people tell their own stories when they want to. But she did say that we needed to take care of you, and give you plenty of time.’
They both hesitated, and then gave each other a long hug. Both girls had tears in their eyes.
‘Anyway – I’d better carry on and tell you the full story of Sadie - so far.’
‘Only if you want to,’ said Cassie.
‘Oh yes I’d better,’ replied Sadie, drying her eyes on her towelling robe. ‘Anyway it’s years ago n
ow.’ She took a deep breath.
‘Anyway, Jenny said that she didn’t think we should see each other so much, and we should each try and work things out for ourselves. Then she left, and I’ve never heard from her again, and I’ve seen her, well, seen her just once.’
‘That’s terrible, how could she be like that to you when you’d known each other for so long?’
‘People do these things. Sometimes their own reasons just don’t make sense to anybody else. Anyway, I completely went to pieces. I kept missing lectures and tutorials, didn’t eat properly, didn’t really do anything. The only place I wanted to go was to the club where we had last been together. I used to dress up properly to go, and I hoped that perhaps if she went there... But she never did, or at least not then. This club is rather – exotic. There are a lot of transvestites and transgender people who go there, and gays and lesbians and a few straight couples who like the atmosphere. Sometimes the owner arranges private shows which get very raunchy indeed. After a few weeks she offered me a job. She (she’s called Mistress Victoria, or Vicky if you know her really well and are invited) said that she could see that I was unhappy and kept coming back, and if I kept coming to the club I might as well get paid for it. She also said that I looked really good, and she liked having attractive bar staff ‘cos it was good for business. So I started for a few evenings a week, but I hadn’t got much else to do so I started to work every night the club was open. I was always tired during the day, because the club didn’t close till after 2:00am in the week, and much later on Fridays and Saturdays, so I missed even more Uni work. I let my hair grow long, and wore really dramatic makeup, and very revealing clothes, and I learnt to flirt with the customers, all sorts of them. I got to like the compliments as well, and when I went round the tables to deliver drinks and collect empties and so on, sometimes people would try to touch me up, or just stroke my bum. At first I didn’t like it at all, but I got used to it, and got to like people appreciating me, even men, who I hadn’t really wanted anything to do with before. Then there was a theme night, Mistress arranged them occasionally, and we all had to be bunny girls, (and boys). You know, the full works, fishnet tights and these incredible corsets, and cuffs and tails and ears!’
After the Dreams (Caroline's Company) Page 11