by Tessa Radley
Only...
That wasn’t true. Not anymore. Something had changed.
She had changed.
And Jay had changed, too.
He desired her.
Despite his level gaze and apparent calm, the evidence she’d felt pressed against her had been unmistakable.
Maybe she had it all wrong...
Maybe she was his type. Maybe he really did want her, Georgia, the woman she was under the Kinnear veneer.
Beneath the churning uncertainty and confusion, it was as if a dam wall had broken and a torrent of emotion had been released. For the first time in years, she no longer felt shamed by what she felt. By what she wanted.
Or by doing something about getting it.
So what did she want?
Right now, she wanted to be kissed by Jay...
A real kiss, not some sweet innocent kiss between friends. A real rip-my-heart out kiss, wherever that led.
“Oh.” The sound burst from her in frustration.
Releasing his hips, she brought her hands up, sliding them over the rough suede past the buttoned edges until they closed on the lapels of his jacket. His eyes blazed as she gave a little tug. Then he laughed and twisted around, leaving her holding the abandoned jacket. She flung it onto the bed behind her.
His hands came down on her arms as she plunged forward, grasping a fistful of his shirtfront.
He steadied her. “Slowly, sweetheart.”
“Don’t you dare laugh!”
He didn’t want her. The heat of all-too-familiar doubt rose through her. The fear of humiliation, of making a fool of herself all over again seized her gut. She swallowed.
Jay’s hazel eyes were unexpectedly serious as they searched hers.
“Do I look like I’m laughing?”
His mouth was at eye-level. It was a beautiful mouth. It spoke to her in ways her heart understood. And it wasn’t laughing.
Georgia wanted to sob with frustration, even as her grip on his shirt tightened, her emotions seesawing wildly between desire and betrayal. She twisted her hand. A button threatened to pop.
She didn’t want it to be like this.
Forcing herself to look away from that mouth that was driving her crazy, Georgia released her grip on his shirt, and smoothed down the creased fabric.
The hurt that had been festering since she’d put two and two together about JJB Boots spilled over.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Jay? About JJB Boots? Why the secrecy?”
Lifting his hands away, he speared them through his hair. She felt bereft at the loss of his touch.
“It was always on my résumé.”
Which she’d never seen because she’d been convalescing when Jay had been hired. And why bother when every frenetic day, Jay’s actions spoke louder than any testimony ever could? He’d proven himself an excellent hire. “You never talk about your family.”
“You never ask,” he countered.
Silently, Georgia acknowledged her blinkered absorption in all things Kingdom.
“I told you a couple of times that my mom and sister were visiting New York. You didn’t show interest in hearing more.”
“Your dad didn’t come?”
His mouth tightened. “No.” He ran his hands through his hair again and hunched his shoulders. “Who my family is doesn’t change who I am. JJB Boots—and J.J. Black for that matter—do not define who I am.” He looked up, his gaze direct. “I’m sorry. I screwed up. I hurt you.”
His hair stood up in spikes where his fingers had mauled it. Without laughter, he looked older, resolute, disturbingly serious.
The maddening rival was nothing like the man who faced her now. He’d withheld so much of himself. She couldn’t dismiss that. But the man hidden behind the mocking mask was so much more. Her apprehension lifted, causing her to blurt out, “You’re my rock, Jay. I never want to lose that.”
“You won’t. I promise.”
It was enough.
“What do I want?” She tipped her head. “More than anything, I want you to kiss me again.”
The fingers that brushed against her chin, cupping her cheek, shook a little. His free hand came up to her shoulder. With a jerk, he drew her closer.
Caught in his embrace, held against him, despite everything she’d discovered about him today, despite everything he’d withheld, Georgia felt safe. She leaned into him and his arms tightened fiercely around her. He nuzzled her, and his breath warmed her neck. She needed that warmth. His warmth.
Then his lips were on hers, her lips parted and he sank in.
His leg shifted forward, sliding between her thighs. One hand closed on her breast, and his fingers stroked. Slowly, deliberately, he caressed the tightening peak under her sweater, causing bursts of arousal. Georgia’s knees almost gave way again.
She closed her eyes, lost in the fresh flare of desire.
A little gasp escaped against his mouth.
A loud knock shattered the hot daze, and the bedroom door flew open.
“Georgia, we don’t dress up fo—” Nancy stood in the doorway, her mouth a perfect O of surprise. “I’m sorry. I thought you might need some towels.”
Flushing wildly, conscious of his hand on her breast and the solidness of the big bed behind her knees, Georgia tried to extricate herself from Jay’s hold. But he held her close, refusing to let her go, his body shielding her from his mother’s view.
Over Jay’s shoulder, Georgia could see Nancy clutching a pile of towels.
Jay’s mother cleared her throat. “Uh. Dinner will be ready in less than half an hour—we don’t dress up. Please join us for a drink.”
“Thanks. And, Mom...” Jay said as his mother paused “...wait a little longer after you knock next time, okay?”
Nancy’s eyes were wide with shock. She dropped the towels on the tallboy just inside the door, nodded and fled.
Eleven
Jay’s frustration knew no bounds.
After retreating to take a shower so cold that his skin still stung, there was no relief to be found back in the bedroom where Georgia stood in front of the dresser, brushing her hair. He pretended not to watch—all the while itching to run his hands through the soft silver strands as he had last night.
Hell, he’d need another cold shower if this carried on.
She’d swapped the sweater she’d been wearing earlier for a snowy white shirt tucked into her jeans and a wide woven belt. She didn’t spare him a glance as she secured her hair in a loose knot at the nape of her neck. He wanted to rip the pins out.
“Are you ready?” His voice was husky.
She nodded and moved to the door.
Jay slung an arm across her shoulders once they exited the guest suite. Downstairs in the dining room, his mother and Betty had their heads bent over a piece of paper on the dining table, while Jennifer watched them approach from across the table.
“That’s the final list?” he asked the women.
“The final-final list.” His mother peered at him over her reading glasses, revealing no sign of the awkward moment in the guest room as she smiled at Georgia. He loved his mom!
“More like the final-final-final list.” Jennifer grimaced. “Between Mom and Betty, tomorrow is going to run like clockwork.”
“They’re a pair of dynamos—they wear the rest of us out.” Jay tipped his head toward Georgia, allowing himself the surreptitious pleasure of inhaling her perfume. He pulled out the chair at the table for her.
“We kept it small,” his mom was saying to Georgia. “Only a hundred and eighty guests. That way, we can enjoy ourselves.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” asked Georgia.
“Yes, you can help with all the last-minute details after dinner. Jennifer, I’ll need you, too, please.”
�
��With pleasure.” Georgia sounded a little more relaxed.
He could tell that his mother already liked Georgia. How could she not? Jay felt a swelling of warmth in his chest as he sat down beside Georgia.
“So long as I’m excused from the flower arranging.” His father’s gruff voice interrupted his thoughts. The last to arrive, J.J. took his customary place at the head of the table.
Jay didn’t register his mom’s response because Georgia chose that moment to turn her head and give him a small smile, slashing his guts to ribbons. He slowly smiled back, and instantly the sizzle of awareness reignited between them. Then color rose in her cheeks and her gaze fell away, breaking the connection.
The meal passed in a blur.
“That was delicious.” Georgia’s knife and fork clinked together as she set them down on the plate.
“Betty is a marvel,” his mother responded with pride in her voice. “What do you say, Jay?”
“The fish was good,” he managed, scrambling to remember what he’d eaten. He’d been too conscious of Georgia’s denim-clad thigh beside his own, his shoulder brushing against hers as he reached for the salt, her scent drifting across, intoxicating him.
“Of course, it is. Freshly caught by your father.” His mother caught his eye and smiled.
Jay felt himself reddening—something he couldn’t remember happening since he was a teenager. Was his enthrallment with Georgia so obvious?
“You used to come with me, Jay. Remember the bighorns in the high country pastures? The water holes where we’d find fish under ledges no one else knew about?” His father grimaced. “But these days, you have more important fish to fry.”
“Jay and Georgia could visit over the winter. We could all go skiing.” His mom looked hopeful. “And Georgia might even want to tag along next time you and Jay go out fly fishing.”
“What would a New York fashion plate know about tying a fly?”
Jay winced at his father’s rudeness, even as Georgia flinched beside him.
Georgia spoke before he got a chance, her chin rising a notch. “I can get by on a pair of skis—and I can certainly learn to fly fish.”
His father snorted. “You’d get wet.”
All Jay’s muscles went rigid. His father was spoiling for a fight. With barely concealed anger, he said, “Dad, there’s no need for—”
A chair scraped as his mom rose hurriedly to her feet. “Betty is sorting the cutlery and linen for tomorrow’s party. I need to check on the apple pie and make sure it’s not burning. J.J., you can come and help me.”
His father clambered to his feet, pointedly ignoring Georgia.
Jay opened his mouth to blast his father, but was stalled by the touch of Georgia’s hand on his thigh.
“Let it go,” she murmured so only he heard.
“Suzie makes some of the best flies in Colorado.” J.J.’s truculence sliced through the distance between them. “You should be marrying her.”
“J.J.!” His mother’s voice was sharp. “Now!”
“Uh, I think I might go help, too.” Jennifer shot to her feet.
The moment his family disappeared, Georgia swiveled her head and Jay received a hard stare.
“Suzie?”
She began to remove her hand from his leg. He brought his hand down, enfolding hers, forestalling her withdrawal. He rubbed the back of her hand, luxuriating in her soft skin under his palm. “I apologize for my father’s rudeness.”
She didn’t acknowledge his apology. “Is there something else you’ve forgotten to tell me?”
Jay didn’t want to talk about Suzie. Not with his parents and sister about to return at any moment. “Let’s discuss this later.”
“I think you need to fill me in now.”
The tilt of Georgia’s jaw warned him that she was not about to be deterred.
“Who is Suzie? Your girlfriend?” she persisted, picking up the paper napkin laid across her lap and tearing it in half.
“Ex,” he muttered.
Georgia narrowed her eyes until the flash of blue through the cracks of her black lashes glittered brighter than the diamond on her finger. “How ex?”
“I haven’t seen her in years.”
Georgia’s look of relief caused the oppressive weight in his chest to lift a little.
Crumpling the shredded napkin into a ball, she dropped it onto the table. “Well, I suppose I should be thankful you haven’t put me in the unsavory position of being the other woman.”
Jay winced.
The sound of his mother’s raised voice chastising his father wafted from the direction of the kitchen.
Georgia drew a breath. “My presence here is causing friction.”
Damn the old man! “This friction between my father and me is nothing new.”
“I feel so guilty for misleading your family. Your mother is so lovely. She believes I’ll be back to visit with you. She’s already including me in future skiing trips. I can even understand your father’s hostility—he resents me because he believes I’m keeping you away. I shouldn’t be here.”
It was all his fault that Georgia felt like an outsider. By convincing her to agree to a sham engagement, he’d created this situation—not his father.
But the alternative was to lay his heart on the line...and have her stomp all over it. Because of his own male pride, he’d made it harder for her, not easier.
Tightening his hand around hers, he said, “The truth is, my father finds it hard to accept I’m a man, not a boy any longer. I’m not coming back. He knows that—but he refuses to accept it.”
“He wants you to take over the legacy he’s built,” she said softly. “It’s his dream.”
The irony of that wasn’t lost on Jay. Georgia craved most what she thought Jay had walked away from. Families could be hell.
He drew a deep breath and said, “But it’s not my dream.”
“He loves you, Jay.” The sparkle in Georgia’s eyes had gentled. She turned her hand over, threading her fingers through his, and Jay’s heart contracted. “He wants what’s best for you.”
Jay shook his head. “No, it’s not what’s best for me that he wants. It’s what’s best for him. And that’s not love.”
“You need to talk to him.” There was concern in her eyes.
Her compassion loosened a tightness deep within him. But he concealed his vulnerability by arching his eyebrows and saying with pointed irony, “I need to talk to my father?”
Georgia shifted in her seat, her cheeks reddening. “I’ll talk to Kingston on Monday. Honestly, I will.”
Instantly, Jay felt bad. Georgia’s relationship with her father was far more complex than his with J.J.
He squeezed her hand, then released it and rose to his feet. “Okay, I’ll go talk to J.J.”
“Be gentle,” she murmured so softly he had to strain to hear the words. “For both your sakes.”
* * *
From the doorway of the den, Jay shook his head and smiled at the sight of Zeus sprawled across the leather chesterfield, snoring.
Wooden bookshelves packed with books on fishing, business management and the craft of boot-making lined the walls. A box-frame filled with the first flies that Jay had tied under his father’s tutelage still held pride of place, and the almost-buried memory of that long ago time tugged at Jay.
“So the prodigal son has returned.”
His father rolled the leather executive chair away from the window and set his whiskey glass down on the antique walnut desk next to a box of carefully crafted flies. The eyes that inspected Jay were filled with a critical glint that was all too familiar.
“About time, my boy.”
Jay shoved Zeus to one side to make space on the couch. Settling himself beside the snoring dog, he crossed an ankle over his knee and strove for calm.
&nbs
p; “Dad, we need to talk.”
“This nonsense about an engagement must end.” Already, his father was hijacking a conversation that hadn’t yet begun. “I want you back home.”
Slowly, Jay shook his head. He allowed a slight smile to tilt his mouth as he rocked his boot-clad foot back and forth.
“I’m not coming back.”
His avoidance of the word home was deliberate.
Home was where the heart was, and his heart had taken up residence elsewhere.
“Of course, you are!” His father gave an impatient snort. “You’ve had enough time away. It’s time for you to come back and marry Suzie.”
Once again, his father was treating him like a boy, rather than the man he’d become. Keeping his voice steady, Jay said, “I’m not going to marry Suzie.”
There was only one woman he planned to marry.
“You’re engaged—”
“That’s over. You know that, and Suzie knows that.”
“Suzie still wants to marry you—she’ll jump at the chance.”
Jay doubted it.
Some of the residual guilt about his old friend stirred. He forced it down. Guilt was the last thing Suzie—or he—deserved. “What Suzie really wants is to be a permanent part of JJB Boots—marrying me would’ve secured that.”
“That’s not the point. Suzie needs you—she needs a husband,” his father insisted. When Jay refused to respond, J.J.’s hands balled into fists. “The business needs you, too, Jay.”
They’d finally gotten to the crux of what his father really wanted.
The old tightness was back in Jay’s gut, winched tighter by the steel chain binding him to dreams that had never been his.
This time, when he shook his head, it was with finality. “You’re looking at the wrong Black.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
His father’s bull-headedness was as frustrating as always. Colorado would never be big enough to hold them both. Jay felt his hard-won calm slip. “You know what it means, Dad. Open your eyes to what’s in front of you. Jennifer—”
“Jennifer has done her best to help hold things together while you’ve been gallivanting around New York. You’ve gotten the qualifications we decided you needed, and I’ve given you enough time to gain the necessary industry experience to run our business.”