by Ella Goode
Father is seated at the table, his Bible open in front of him. He appears to be reading or meditating or praying. It’s an obvious ploy to make Easy feel uncomfortable. Fortunately Easy doesn’t care.
We deposit the food on the table. I direct Easy to sit across from me instead of beside me even though having him away from my side isn’t what I want.
He doesn’t like it either and moves reluctantly away. I stand and dish the food up for everyone. Father finally shuts his Bible and reels off a long prayer. Shortly after I say ‘Amen’ he starts in on me.
“Your gravy looks watery, Annie. Did you put enough flour in it?”
“I made it the way I usually do.”
He forks apart some of the beef. “It’s pink inside. You know I like my meat well done.”
I get up. “I’ll stick it in the microwave.”
He waves me aside. “No, I’ll eat it.” He gives a long suffering sigh. “You’re not dating my Annie because of her cooking skills, I hope.”
“I haven’t had the opportunity to eat anything she’s made.” Easy replies. He takes a big bite. “Tastes delicious to me.”
“Annie doesn’t cook that often. We have plenty of parishioners who watch out for us as it’s well known she’s hapless in the kitchen.”
I give Easy an embarrassed smile. Father has never complained before. Had the food always been bad and he’s never said anything? “I didn’t realize you didn’t like my cooking, Father.”
He shakes his head in rueful dismay. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but it’s best to get out your flaws now so they aren’t a surprise to this young man later.”
“Of course,” I agree because what else can I do? The urge to flee is strong but I can’t leave Easy at the table alone with Father.
“What is it that you do for a living, Mr. Beasley?” Apparently he’s done cutting me down and now is going to work on Easy. The pot roast is thick and hard in my throat which is good because my stomach is too unsettled to eat more.
“I work for Mallory’s.”
Mallory Manufacturing is an ammunitions plant. It’s a good-paying job with benefits and a pension. Surely Father can’t have any complaint about that.
“I think you applied there, didn’t you, Annie?” Father asks and the sinking sensation transforms into dread.
“Yes, as a line worker.”
“Annie doesn’t have many skills.” Father leans forward with a conspiratorial air. “She applied for many jobs after high school but couldn’t even get hired on at the Quik Stop to pump gas. I’ve allowed her to stay on as the church secretary. A bit of nepotism, I suppose, but charity begins at home.”
“Seems like you need a few skills to be the church secretary.” Easy’s normal smile is gone, replaced by something between a frown and a grimace.
“You don’t,” Father says bluntly. “And are you a gun enthusiast, given you work for Mallory’s?”
“I’ve shot a few in my time,” Easy says. “Honey, this is delicious. Michigan’s going to be sorry that he missed this.”
“I hope you take some home to him,” I answer. I’m aching for Michigan. Is he at home? Is he lonely? What’s he having for dinner? I have to know. “What’s he eating tonight?”
“Probably pizza. Definitely nothing as good as this shit—stuff.”
Father nearly growls. “This club that you belong to, Mr. Beasley, it has been linked to many criminal activities. Do you believe that someone like Annie should be exposed to this?”
“Nope. Annie wouldn’t be exposed to anything like that.”
His foot nudges mine. We both know what I’m exposed to. And how good they make me feel is probably some kind of crime.
“I haven’t seen you in church. Do you attend service?”
“I go to church regularly.” Easy’s eyes are full of mischief. Chapel or church is what the MC members call their group meetings.
“Where at?”
“With my brothers. That’s my congregation.”
“Where two or more of you are gathered, there I am in the midst of you,” I quote Matthew 18:20 in a hurry.
Father narrows his eyes at me but changes the subject. “What’s the most meaningful Bible verse to you?”
“Judge not lest ye be judged,” Easy replies.
I nearly giggle at the expression of outrage Father has at being outwitted.
He continues to grill Easy about everything from how much he makes to how long we’ve been dating without Father’s knowledge. I’m mortified and glad that Michigan isn’t here because only one of them is going to leave offended.
The dinner finally is over and I practically shove Easy out the door. I don’t want him to be exposed for another second to my father, to his offensive behavior.
Easy looks like he wants to protest, say something. Maybe stab my dad with the table knife. But he leaves at my silent plea. I watch as he climbs into his truck and it roars off. I tell myself that this is not the sound of goodbye. At all. But oh, I am worried that he’ll go home and tell Michigan I’m not worth the effort. I take a deep breath to stem the tears that I feel building.
“You won’t see him again,” Father says as I close the door.
“Why not?”
“He’s a man of sin. These types can’t be saved. They only drag others into the pit with them. As your father and your pastor, I’m telling you that this person has a devil seated deep inside.”
“I thought the charge was to love your neighbor as yourself.”
“He is not my neighbor,” Father’s voice is chilled. “Now go upstairs and pray for forgiveness while I cleanse the house of the presence of this foulness he has brought to our home.”
I can’t stand to hear him speak of Easy like this and everything in me revolts. I turn and glare at Father. “I’m twenty-three and I love you, but I don’t think you can tell me what to do.”
His grabs my arm and shakes me. “What have I taught you? The pleasures of earth will only result in the fires of hell. I’m not going to have all my work be tossed aside because you feel some whorish desire.”
“Please, stop.” I’m trembling and not just because he’s pulling my arm rapidly. But I’m afraid. The hard glint in his eye, the straight mouth, are reminiscent of that one time…One time when I was twelve or thirteen I remember asking to go to bowling with a group of girls. He said no. I accused him of ruining my life. He raised his fist and struck me across the face. I reeled from the blow and hit the bookcase. He’d taken off his belt and whipped me hard until I bled through my shirt. I learned not to ask again. He apologized, tended my wounds and we both agreed to never speak of it again.
“Please,” I whisper.
I shrink inside myself.
He shakes his head like a dog shedding water from his fur. “Go upstairs and pray.” His voice has calmed and his grip weakens. I take the opportunity to break from his grasp and run upstairs.
I kneel down in front of my bed. His footsteps follow me up. They pause outside my door. The knob turns slightly. I hold my breath.
“Pray for both of us,” he whispers through the door. “Pray that the devil stays away or we’ll both be sorry.”
After what feels like a century of time passing, his footsteps move away and I hear the garage door open. Hurriedly I pack my backpack again and leave. If I’m going to be punished for something, it might as well be something worthwhile.
Chapter Sixteen
Michigan
Easy stomps into the house. Anger and frustration reek from every pore. He throws a plastic tub onto the kitchen table.
“Roast beef, if you want it,” he grunts.
Curious, I open the container and the rich smell of roasted meat rises. It’s still warm and despite the fact I ate a pizza, my mouth waters. Besides, this is food Annie cooked and eating it will make me feel close to her. I pull a fork out of the drawer and dig in. It tastes as good as it smells and I gobble down half the container before addressing whatever it is that is pissing
Easy off. “From the look on your face, I would’ve thought that dinner was a bust but this is great shit.”
“It was a bust.” He throws himself onto the sofa and flips on the television. After about a minute of scrolling through a dozen channels, he hits the power button and throws the remote on the floor. Agitated, he starts pacing and I can’t stop staring because Easy rarely gets anxious. During deployment, the crazier it got outside the wire, the calmer he was. Dude just never gets riled. Now he’s wearing a path across the living room carpet.
“Her father’s a fucking asshole. I don’t know why she is even with him.”
“What’d he do? Spout Bible shit the whole time?”
“I expected that.” He throws up his hands. “He’s a preacher for fuck’s sake, so yeah, I was prepared for the hellfire and brimstone talk and even the questioning of whether I was good enough for her but I wasn’t prepared for him to cut her down the whole time.”
“What?” That gets me to drop the food on the table.
“Yup. He spent half the time criticizing her food, calling her stupid, and suggesting she’s too plain to snag a man and the other half telling me I’m a sinful demon going to hell.”
“Well, you already knew the last half was true,” I joke grimly.
He barks out a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t know why she doesn’t want to move in with us.”
Easy doesn’t get how fear and loneliness can drive you to make bad decisions. Despite belonging to a motorcycle club, everyone still thinks he’s the shit. He still goes to family dinners, still kisses his grandma and generally he’s liked and admired around town.
He doesn’t have a frame of reference for someone like Annie but I get it. Having knocked around foster homes and not really finding a place to belong to until I came here and patched into the Death Lords, Annie’s reasons for staying with an asshole of a father make perfect sense. He’s the one person that makes the world less frightening for her. As long as she believes her old man loves her, no matter how crappy he treats her, she’s not alone in this world.
I’ve felt the same way. It’s how I ended up with my back full of scars. I try to explain it to Easy.
“Remember when I told you that I got those whip marks on my back from a preacher who was mad I’d fucked his daughter?”
“Yeah?” His voice is wary, confused about my abrupt change in subject.
“I knew she was bad news when I started seeing her. When we were in school, she pretended she didn’t know me. Even on the street, if we’d run into each other she’d walk by without a word. But in secret? She couldn’t get my pants off fast enough. I couldn’t fuck her hard enough. There wasn’t a goddamn thing she couldn’t wait to do. It didn’t matter that I made her come screaming three times the night before because the next day I was dead to her. But I still kept going back, not because I was sticking it to the man or I liked the stupid secret shit but because she kept telling me she loved me and sick sap that I was, it was enough.”
The best thing about Easy is because of his relatively stress-free upbringing, he’s pretty damn open-minded and not quick to judge. He considers my story and then nods. “So she’s scared. Her dick of a father has spent years telling her she’s worthless on one hand and that she can only survive with him on the other. It’s a miracle that she even took a chance on us.”
“Pretty much but we’ve showed her something different—an alternative. But it’s not realistic she’s gonna trust us overnight that we’re going to stick.”
“I hate being patient.” Easy’s frustration draws a snort from me because, yeah, he doesn’t like to wait. “Maybe you should’ve gone over.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t have made it through the whole dinner. I’d have pushed his head in the potatoes and you’d have to be bailing me out of jail right now.”
The doorbell rings as we’re laughing. A quick look at the microwave says that it’s too late for anything but a booty call or club business. Given that neither of us is hooking up with anyone but Annie, it must be club business. Michigan is shrugging into his cut as I open the door.
“Annie.” Easy throws the door wide. My welcoming smile fades when she doesn’t immediately rush in.
“Is it okay that I came over? I wanted to apologize.” She shifts uncomfortably as Easy stares at her in surprise.
I muscle Easy out of the way and drag her over the doorstep. Easy slams the door shut as I lead Annie into the living room. Her face is flushed and her hair is in a tangle. I want to dig my fingers into her scalp and hold her tight while I ravage her mouth but I’m not a teenager who can’t control himself.
Oh, what the hell. Fuck I’m not. I swing her around and place my leg between her thighs and pull her tight against me. “No apologies necessary,” I growl and capture her mouth for a long, bruising kiss. There’s not even a moment of hesitation before she melts into me, wrapping her two arms around my shoulders and shimmying up my thigh as far as her long, ugly tan skirt permits.
“Give her some air.” Easy taps me on the head and I reluctantly let her go. A glance at her shiny lips has me swooping in for another taste.
When I release her again, she stumbles back with a dazed look of passion. Pride and arousal swirl in an explosive combination inside me. I’m making her look like this and she’s making me so hard, I can hardly move. Easy rolls his eyes and guides her to the couch, pulling the backpack off her shoulder. I hadn’t noticed it in my rush to devour her.
Once there, she catches her breath and turns to Easy. “I’m so, so sorry about what happened. I didn’t realize he’d act like this. I’m going to take the first job that’s available.”
“Stay here.” I try to make it an offer and not a command.
As she looks around, I can see her weakening and so can Easy. He jumps in.
“Even if it’s for a little while until you got your feet under you,” Easy suggests.
I nod in agreement. I want her to stay with us, not just for a little while but she’s skittish and from what Easy says about her home life, this is a big step for her.
“Gosh, I guess…I mean it would solve a lot of problems for us.” She runs a hand through her hair. Nervous or scared? I can’t tell.
“It’s an option if you want it.” I try to play it low key. Easy throws me the backpack which I immediately take down into Easy’s bedroom which is larger and has a king-sized bed. Behind me I hear Easy ask if she wants to watch a movie.
Good move. I toss her backpack into the corner and hurry back to settle in next to her.
“The Natural’s playing. You ever seen that?” Easy points the remote at the television and presses play.
“No.”
“Baseball story but it’s got a love story too.”
“Hey, I like baseball.”
“You do?”
“Sure. Father and I went to a Twins game once. We were in the Cities for a pastors’ conference and it was the family outing. I had a lot of fun. I think I was twelve, maybe thirteen. It was nice being there with all the other kids and their families.” She cocks her head and wistfulness is evident in every line. I know without her saying another word that she never saw those families again but held on to the dream that baseball was something she held in common with her cold dad.
Easy humphs and I don’t say a word.
“He’s not all bad,” she explains. “After Mom left it was just him and me and we learned how to create our own unit without her. It was tough at first. His congregation takes up a lot of his energy and he relies on me to be responsible. She doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore. It hurts but I have him.”
I share a look of understanding with Easy over her head. Her father made time for everyone in the church but not for her. That she believed that he didn't have an obligation to take care of her as her father even after her mother left shows why she’s nervous about leaving him.
“Your father did one better than mine,” I admit, drawing my fingers through her long pretty brown hair. �
�He was a drug addict and so is my mom. The state took me away from them right after I was born because about two seconds after labor she was out in the streets looking for her next hit. It was a miracle I wasn't born with some kind of birth defect or health problem given how much she used while she was pregnant. They tried a number of times to send me back into the home, none of which I remember, but ultimately she was a fuck-up and the sperm donor who knocked her up couldn’t be found.”
“Did you get adopted then?” she asks, full of curiosity but not pity.
A harsh laugh escapes me. “Fuck no. I was a hard kid with a learning disability and a bad attitude. I was passed from foster home to foster home and eventually wound up entering the Marines.”
“Then I adopted him.” Easy taps his chest like a fucking proud papa. I ignore him and drop my hand to start massaging Annie’s neck. She likes that a lot and her head falls forward to allow me greater access.
“You served in the Marines together?” she mumbles into her chest.
“Yup. We were battle buddies. You get assigned to another Marine or a couple of Marines and if they fuck up, you fuck up so the idea is to make sure that no one fucks up.”
“Like your brother’s keeper.”
“Something like that.”
“Is that how you started sharing?” She tilts her head from one side to the other to take us both in.
Easy gives a small shrug. “Yeah, I suppose. We were over in the Philippines doing a tour, drinking snake venom and trying not to spend all of our money as new recruits tend to do. We were drunk and ended up together. After a few times of tag teaming I found I enjoyed it more than the vanilla shit I’d done in the past. I like watching. That’s probably my biggest kink but there’s something about sharing that revs my engine past ten.”
“So it’s like this for every girl you’re with?” The quietness is a warning signal—I hope Easy picks up on it. Insecurity lurks behind her question. I recognize that because when I entered the Marines I was sure everyone hated me as much as I hated them. My anger got me into a lot of trouble in the beginning, but Easy never gave up on me. I'm going to apply those lessons to Annie.