PMU Boxset 2

by MacMillan, Jerica

  He opened his mouth to ask about her brother, but closed it. Should he ask? Was now the time to push this? He studied her profile, her head still tilted down, her eyes trained on her lap. If not now, then when?

  “What about your brother?”

  She looked away again. It was almost funny how she’d clam up when faced with a question she didn’t want to answer. He’d heard her complain over the last few months about her brother doing that and how infuriating she found it. Didn’t she realize she did it too?

  “Abby? Did something happen with your brother? Is that why you’re upset?”

  This time when she met his eyes, cold fire blazed in hers. “I’m not upset, I’m fucking pissed.”

  “What’d he do?”

  She pulled her hand from his and stood, pushing the hair back from her face with jerky movements, moving to the other side of the coffee table where she paced like a caged animal, not looking at him. Taking a deep breath, she stopped and opened her mouth, then deflated, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He waited. She squared her shoulders and faced him, her arms crossed over her chest. “He asked me for money.”

  He raised an eyebrow. Again? Or was she talking about the first time? “Today?”

  A jerky nod.

  “How much?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t let him get that far. I told him that—” She cut herself off, rolling her lips between her teeth.

  He studied her and waited. She wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t say anything. “What did you tell him?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Abby. Look at me.” He waited until her eyes found his again, that fire gone, now replaced by wariness. He hated seeing that look directed at him. “What did you tell him?”

  Her breath hitched while she stared at him, but she didn’t look away, her hand rising to roll her lower lip between her thumb and first finger. When her answer came out, it was the same hoarse whisper as before. “I told him I wouldn’t give him any more money. That he needed to leave and not come back this time.”

  She watched him stand from the couch, a pair of tears spilling from her eyes. “You told him you wouldn’t give him more money? Meaning you gave him money before?”

  She nodded, more tears coming now, her shoulders hunched like she was trying to shrink into herself.

  The fact that he was pretty sure of her answer made it easy to stay calm. “So your mom didn’t need money for medical tests last month?”

  She shook her head, burying her face in her hands.

  He pulled her to him again, but she didn’t cling to him like she had before. She held herself stiffly, unwilling to accept his comfort. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why tell me your mom needed it for medical stuff?”

  She shook her head, her voice coming out muffled from her hands. “I panicked.”

  He pulled back so he could look down at her, but she kept her face down so all he could see was the knot of hair on the back of her head. “Why?”

  She shook her head again, but didn’t say anything.

  Rubbing his hands up her arms, he gripped her shoulders and gave her a shake. Not hard, just enough to get her attention, get her to look at him. “Talk to me, Abby. Why did you lie? Why does your brother need money?”

  Her eyes were pained when they met his. “Gambling debts. He came to me at school like I told you and told me he needed four thousand dollars or some guys that he owed money to were going to hurt him. I—” She looked away and swallowed. “He said that’s why he came back. That he owed money to people in Arizona, and he came here to get away. But then he got in over his head here, too.” Her eyes flicked to him and away again, like she couldn’t bear to look at him while she spilled the truth that she’d been holding in for weeks. “When you gave him that cash the day he came here, he figured I could get the money from you. But I couldn’t ask you for money for him. Not for that. Not for him. But I couldn’t let him get hurt, either. Not when I knew I could help him, that I had the money he needed in my account.”

  “So you decided to give him the money and let me pay the rent.”

  She nodded, misery lining her features. “You’ve wanted to since we got this place. I could help my brother and give you what you wanted. I told him that was it. I wouldn’t give him anything else after that, and that he needed to stop gambling and get a job and move out of Mom’s house.” She lifted one shoulder, wiped her cheek on it, and sniffed. “I thought—well, I hoped that he would take the money and leave again. Like he did before. And like he did in Arizona, you know? Just bail.” She shook her head. “He didn’t, though.”

  Lance grunted, his hands still rubbing her arms. She kept talking as long as he did that. Every time he stopped, she paused, and resumed when he did.

  “What did he need today?” He kept his voice low, just above a whisper, not wanting to shock her out of whatever state of mind she was in that allowed her to tell him everything by speaking too loud.

  Her mouth twisted. “More. He only paid them part of the money and used the rest to gamble more. Now he’s in even deeper.” Shaking her head, she met his eyes again. “I told him to leave and not come back. Not to even call. That we all had enough problems without him adding to them.”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she leaned into him, allowing him to hug her, like the confession had wrung out the strength that had kept her on her own feet this whole time. He waited, letting her settle into him again, before he asked again the question that had been gnawing at him since he figured out she was lying. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me, Abby? Why lie?”

  Her head moved against him. “It’s embarrassing. Don’t you see that? I was mortified. My whole family is embarrassing, my whole history. You have the picture-perfect family. And mine is a mess—a non-functioning mom, a deadbeat dad, and a gambling addict brother. How could I tell you that?”

  “Just like that, Abby. You just tell me.” He managed to keep his voice low, but it came out tight and angry. She stiffened and pulled away, but he wouldn’t let her go, his hand tipping her face up so she would look him in the eye. “Dammit, Abby, I’m in this with you. I’m here. We’re together.”

  But she shook her head, dislodging his hand. “We’re not married, Lance. We’re not even engaged. My problems aren’t your problems.”

  “Like hell they aren’t!” His fingers tightened on her shoulders. She squirmed in his grip, and he let her go. “Like hell they aren’t. Your problems are my problems. I don’t care about your family. I care about you. I love you. I want to help you. But how can I when you won’t let me in? When you won’t tell me the truth about what’s going on?”

  “Lance, you don’t—”

  “Yes I do.” He pointed a finger at her. “You get to listen to me this time. I’ve seen through all your distancing techniques from the beginning, let you have your walls, hoping you’d let me in. I got past the initial barriers, and you threw more up. You keep putting them up, and I’ll keep tearing them down. Even if we’re not engaged, don’t try to tell me that we haven’t made each other promises. I’ve made promises. I promised to take care of you, to love you, to give you what you need. The rest of it is just paperwork. I’m in this. I’m here. Are you?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Lance’s words seemed to reverberate in the silence, each one slamming into her chest. I’m in this. I’m here. Are you?

  She shook her head, not in answer, but in confusion. He hadn’t been surprised when he found out the truth. “Did you know?”

  He blinked, crossing his arms. “Did I know what?”

  “That I was lying. How? You weren’t surprised when I said Aaron had asked me for money. Like you knew all along. How? How did you know?”

  He sighed, looking at her like she was slow. “Abby, you’re not a very good liar. I believed you at first because you were so upset. But the more I thought about it and the more I asked about it, the more obvious it became that you weren’t giving the money to you
r mom. That meant it had to be your brother. I didn’t know why, though.”

  Looking away, she ran over all their conversations about it in her head. Yeah, okay. Maybe he had a point. “Why didn’t you say something sooner, then?” Why let me carry on with the lies?

  He shook his head and collapsed back down on the couch, tossing his hands up in a gesture of frustration and helplessness. “What was I supposed to do? Say, ‘Abby, I know you’re lying to me’? That would’ve gone over real well, I’m sure.”

  “Well, no, but—”

  “No buts. You would’ve gotten pissed that I said you were lying, even though you were, and everything would be shit. And I wanted you to choose to tell me. I wanted you to trust me. That’s all I’ve wanted all along.”

  “I do trust you.”

  He gave her a long, pointed look.

  “I do. I trust you more than I’ve trusted anyone. Even Megan. I moved in with you. I let you in. I’ve brought you to my mom’s house. A bunch. Do you know how many other people I’ve willingly brought there? One. Megan.” He opened his mouth to say something, looking like he was going to point out a flaw in her argument, but she spoke louder, cutting him off before he could speak. “I don’t do that.” She jammed her finger into her chest to emphasize her point. “I don’t let people in.”

  Watching her, he nodded once. “That’s true. You don’t.”

  “And I’ve let you in.”

  “Not all the way, though.”

  Now she threw up her hands in that same gesture. “I don’t know how to do anything else!”

  “You could try.”

  “I am trying. I’m doing the best I can!”

  He arched one eyebrow. “Really, Abby?”

  She reached a hand toward him, but let it drop. “I let you pay for my plane ticket to visit your family.”

  “Because you couldn’t afford it.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “True. But at one point I would’ve refused to go at all. And I accepted the iPad that you gave me for Christmas. And the expensive earrings for my birthday. I’m trying, Lance. Can’t you see that?”

  He stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly, standing and taking her hands that she’d held out as though in supplication. “I do. I know. But I—” He looked around the room, taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts before meeting her eyes again. His brown eyes looked almost pleading. “I want to take care of you. I want you to trust me to take care of you. To let me pay the rent because I can and I want to, not because you gave all your money to your brother.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he kept going, not letting her get a word in. “I want you to let me go grocery shopping with you more than once a month or so if I’m around, because you’ll let me pay when we’re together.” He shook his head. “No, what I really want is for you to let me add you to my credit card and use that to pay for groceries.”

  “But what about my job? What will I pay for?”

  “School!” His fingers squeezed hers. “Don’t take out as much in loans. You don’t have to, and then you won’t have as much to pay back after you graduate. I’m lucky enough not to have any loans and to have a great job right out of college. I can cover our expenses and still have some left over. You don’t have to pay for everything fifty-fifty like you did with Megan.”

  “But—”

  “No buts.”

  She shook her head. “No. I need to say it. If you want me to trust you, then you have to listen to me and not just shut me down because you don’t like what I’m saying.”

  He let out a sigh, but it was a sound of acquiescence, not annoyance. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know I railroad you. Go ahead. I’m listening.”

  Swallowing, she looked into his eyes, taking in the sincerity and love radiating from them. That look gave her strength. “I feel like I’m taking advantage. That I’m just mooching off you by letting you pay for everything. And my brother’s the kind of person who does that, who wants me to do it for him, and I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m using you or that I’m only with you for money.”

  “Abby.” Her name on his lips was a combination of admonition and request. His hands came up to cup her face, holding her still so that she couldn’t look away from him even if she wanted to. “Abby, I love you. And you love me, right?”

  She nodded, warmth spreading through the cold dread that had settled in her chest.

  “Do you believe me when I tell you that I want to take care of you? That you can’t take advantage of me, because I know everything now, and I choose to do it? That I want to share everything I have with you?” His heavy gaze held her in place, impressing on her his seriousness.

  She nodded again. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He brought his mouth to hers, sealing their understanding with his lips on hers, firm but not punishing.

  Pulling back, his eyes roamed her face. She was sure she looked a mess, having cried off all her makeup hours ago, her face all puffy.

  “No more lies.”

  “No more lies.”

  “No more walls to keep me out.”

  She nodded, this one harder for her. “No more walls. But Lance? You’ll have to help me with that one.”

  A small smile tilted the corner of his mouth, finally softening the seriousness of his expression. “I know, sweetheart. We’ll work on it together.”

  She nodded, this time going up on her toes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her, dragging her up against him, and she opened for him. When he broke the kiss, they were both breathing hard. His eyes roamed her face again, and he nodded once, like he was agreeing to something in his own mind.

  Taking a step back, he held her at arms’ length. “Wait here.”

  “What?”

  “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” And with that he turned and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

  Lance moved quickly in the bedroom, not wanting to keep Abby waiting. First he got the ring out from where he’d stashed it, sliding the small velvet box into his pocket. Then he got the lighter out of the nightstand and lit the candles that they had in the room, one on each nightstand and a couple on the dresser. He would’ve liked more, but he hadn’t planned on doing this today. Lighting up the living room and kitchen with candles would’ve been better. But he was tired of waiting. He didn’t want to wait anymore. He was doing this now.

  Tidying up the stray dirty clothes on the floor and straightening the sheets and comforter on the bed, he scanned the room one more time. This would have to do.

  With a deep breath, he opened the door. Abby still stood in the middle of the living room where he left her, one arm hugging her body, the fingers of her other hand tugging at her lower lip. Her eyes met his, questioning.

  Taking her by the hand, he led her into the bedroom, shutting the door so that the room was lit with the warm glow of candlelight. He backed her up to the foot of the bed and had her sit down.

  She looked up at him, the golden light making her skin luminous, her eyes dark blue pools. Uncertainty crinkled her brows together. “Lance? What’s going on?”

  He took her hands in his and gave her a smile that he hoped was reassuring. Kneeling in front of her, he scooted close enough so he could loop his arms around her.

  Her hands went to his shoulders, a little smile appearing on her lips, but that crinkle of confusion still on her face. “What are you doing?”

  “Abby, when I met you at that party this summer, you intrigued me. You rolled your eyes at me when I tried to charm you and snarked at me when I tried to flirt. You made me work hard for every date, every kiss, every step forward. And I fell in love with you for it. You’ve made me better, stronger, more confident than I would be on my own. If I hadn’t met you, I’d be living in Texas, working at my dad’s shop, miserable. You gave me the courage to take a chance, to live the life I wanted, and not the one planned for me.”

  He tightened his arms around her, afraid she might try to in
terrupt him. But she let him speak. “I hope that I’ve made your life better, made you better, too. I want us to keep making each other better forever.” Letting go of her with one hand, he pulled the ring box out of his pocket, settling back on his heels so he could open it and show her the ring. He swallowed, meeting her eyes that were shining with unshed tears once again. “Abby, I love you. So much. Will you marry me?”

  Her hand covered her mouth while she took a deep, shuddery breath. Then she threw her arms around his neck. “Yes!”

  He caught her in his arms, holding her tightly against him. She lifted her head, and he kissed her, pouring all his love and happiness into that kiss. His free hand slid up to cradle her head, his other arm clamped across her back. He held her still while their tongues slid together, tasting and twirling around each other. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of her.

  Pulling back, he broke the kiss and set her down. She kneeled in front of him while he pulled the ring out of the box. He took her trembling left hand in his and slid the ring onto her finger. She held out her hand, admiring the way the candlelight glinted off the princess-cut diamond in a simple white gold setting. It wasn’t the traditional solitaire. He wanted something that fit her, something simple and beautiful, but unexpected. So he chose this stone set in a slim band that swooped alongside two faces of the diamond, holding it flat against her finger.

  “It’s beautiful.” The smile she gave him when she looked up stole his breath. “I love it.”

  He reached for her again, unable to not touch her for long. Not now. Not with his ring on her finger. She came willingly, settling on his lap, straddling his thighs and wrapping her legs around him, her arms wrapping around his neck as his came around her waist, their mouths meeting with a hunger that eclipsed their last kiss.

  Gathering his legs beneath him, he stood and placed her on the bed without breaking contact, settling over her. He let out a low growl of frustration. He didn’t want to let her go, but their clothes were still in the way, and that was intolerable. With a supreme effort of will, he reached behind his neck and untangled her hands from his hair, pulling her arms away from him and standing, his chest heaving.