by Max Monroe
Taylor: You’re acting so strange, dude. Are you sure you’re okay?
See what I mean?
Me: Promise. Love you and miss you both like crazy. P.S. You bitches better enjoy the Maroon 5 concert tonight for me.
Carla: Girl, I’ll try to flash my tits at Adam Levine in your honor.
I snort. Carla is a die-hard Adam Levine fan. Like, she doesn’t care what anyone says about that man; she fucking adores him.
Me: First of all, that’s public indecency and illegal. Secondly, I gotta go.
Carla: It’s only public indecency if Adam Levine doesn’t enjoy it. Which he will. I have a great rack.
Taylor: Don’t worry, Lee. I’ll make sure this crazy bitch doesn’t get arrested.
Me: Perfect. Love you! Bye!
Once I slide my phone back into my pocket, I hop into the truck and head to my cabin. And the whole way there, once I’m done mentally berating myself for letting my thoughts get so out of hand during Rhett’s massage, I make a few very important promises—I will put that massage in the past. I will keep shit professional. And I will not, no matter how tempting it is, touch Rhett Jameson’s penis. Not with my hands or my mouth or my horny fucking vagina.
Because, holy hell, I was hired to rehab his knee.
Not ride him like a rodeo queen.
July 2nd, Friday
Leah
“Now,” Rhett says, settling his hands in his pockets like he always does at the end of this speech atop the hearth of the lodge fireplace. “I’ll hang around for a bit if y’all have any questions, but other than that, please make yourselves at home.”
A round of applause breaks out, the happiness and anticipation of a new crowd of ranch guests palpable in the room. The only thing that’s different from the past couple of weeks and what Rhett calls “intake day” is that the size of this crowd is nearly double anything I’ve seen on any other occasion. To be honest, I didn’t even know they had enough lodging to accommodate this many people at once.
Needless to say, Shaw Springs Ranch pulls out all the stops for Fourth of July weekend.
I watch surreptitiously as Rhett steps down off the hearth gently and works his way through the crowd, stopping occasionally to shake hands and glad-hand some of the VIPs that have shown up this weekend. I don’t specifically recognize anyone as, like, an actress or anything, but from the way other people point and whisper at them, I’m pretty sure I’m one of the only ones who doesn’t know who they are.
Joey is the first to make it to me, bobbing and weaving through the forest of legs between us, and I actually jerk back a step when she slams into me with a hug.
“Whoa, there, Jo-Jo.” I laugh. “Where’s the fire?”
She giggles, taking me literally. “There’s no fire yet. That’s usually somethin’ they do outside at night.”
I smile. “Makes sense, honey, but I was just asking why you’re in such a rush. Does the fastest little girl in the room get a prize or something?”
Joey giggles more, her nose wrinkling up this time. “Was I really that fast?”
“Fastest I’ve ever seen, I think.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and she jerks her head at the lodge doors and grabs my hand. “Wanna go outside and race me?”
I smile as I consider it. I mean, I’m not all that fast, but I wouldn’t exactly be trying to win. Maybe some outdoor racing with my best girl wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I glance up at Rhett again just as he throws his head back and laughs at one of the female guests. Blond hair, big boobs, and a perfect body, she’s like a walking advertisement for sports cars. She reaches out and touches Rhett’s elbow, and then his shoulder, and then even slides her hand all the way down to rest on his forearm. All of her touchy-feely flirting sets me on edge, and Joey tugs on my hand again.
“Leah, come on.”
With effort, I tear my eyes away from sexy-whatsherface and the man I have absolutely no claim over and look down to the sweet, blond-haired girl who doesn’t make me want to lash out irrationally.
Goodness knows, it’s taken me long enough to put the massage thing behind me from a week ago. The whole “fantasizing about my freaking patient while providing a massage to my patient” situation really messed with my head.
Ha. Messed with your head? As in, past tense? Girl, this is the present, and you’re still going there when it comes to Rhett Jameson.
Gah. I have to stop.
“Hello? Leah?” Joey bounces with impatience.
“Okay, yes. Let’s go outside and race.”
Maybe the physical activity will level out my hormones or something. I glance back up at the catalyst of all my unrest to find him still talking to the same woman. She laughs again, but Rhett’s eyes move off her for the first time as a different woman approaches him, a crowd of rowdy guys around her taunting one another and laughing.
She’s voluptuous and skinny at the same time, and the features of her face are so overproportioned, they ooze sex appeal. She’s wearing a button-up blouse that looks like the American flag, but it’s more than clear that when men around her pledge their allegiance, it’s to the boobs inside.
It’s not like she has it unbuttoned indecently low—she’s just that well-endowed.
A huge, sparkling buckle sits at the front of her hips, and if I didn’t know it’s the kind of style all these rodeo types wear, I’d liken it to the kind of chastity belt that’s there for the sole purpose of enticement and inviting attention.
With blond-brown hair and big, unmistakable blue eyes, she is the Kate Upton of rodeo queens, hands down.
Beyond all that, though, is the familiar way she looks at Rhett. It’s not the longing, wishful way that the other woman did—it’s knowing. Without a shadow of a doubt, this woman has seen the inside of Rhett Jameson’s pants.
My gut roils, and I shake my head to clear it. And Joey, once again, tugs on my hand. “Come onnnnn.”
Willing myself to end the misery, I tear my eyes away for a second time and follow Joey’s lead out the lodge doors and over to a patch of grass so we can have the race to end all races.
As Joey giggles in the free space and spins around with her arms out to the sides, I resolve to one thing—I’m going to run like the freaking wind and show this little girl the time of her dang life.
I only wish I could use the same kind of speed to put some distance between me and my very much unwelcome feelings about the grumpy cowboy.
Rhett
“What happened?” I ask Chase with a jerk of my chin as he, Cutter, Lynn, and another bull rider by the name of Bo come to a stop behind the one woman in this world I have true, unending disdain for. “You all get the last pick on rodeo queen selection when you split into teams for the day?”
Anna rolls her eyes and jabs me in the chest teasingly, and I have to grind my jaw to keep myself from shoving her away.
I’m not rough with women—ever—but I’ll be damned if the touch of this bitch doesn’t make my balls want to crawl up inside my body. Instead, I circle the wrist of her hand she’s left on my chest and toss it back in her direction.
“I don’t know why you have to be so rude, Rhett,” she contests, ignoring my gesture of displeasure completely. “I just came to say hello.”
“Oh, I know, sweetheart. You’ll just have to excuse me for not jumpin’ for joy and shit. After all, hello is the furthest you ever take it. Three seconds later, you’re flyin’ out of town without so much as a wave.”
“Why’re you so angry all the time?” Anna asks, so out of touch I can’t stand it. “That’s what I wanna know.”
“That’s what you wanna know?” I challenge. “Well, I wanna know how a woman can be so cold she doesn’t even give a shit about her own flesh and blood? That’s what I wanna know.”
The ice that must run in the veins of someone who can’t acknowledge their daughter is something I doubt even reaches Utah. It’s so fucking glacial, I imagine it only exists in the arctic.
“Hey, kids,�
� Chase says as a means to intervene. I can feel the vein in my forehead bulging and pulsing with every beat of my heart, but the rage for this woman burns so deep, it feels nearly impossible to stop it. “How ’bout we shelve this conversation for now in the name of not havin’ a domestic right in front of the rest of the guests?”
I glance to my left to see the crowd of incoming guests is congregated around the dining room table, still getting their room assignments, and force myself to take a deep breath.
I don’t want to back off. I want to put the screws to this woman and then some. I want to finally give her the tongue-lashing she motherfucking deserves for deserting my Joey.
But she isn’t worth it.
She isn’t worth the thought, the time, the effort—not when all of that is better spent with the girl she won’t even acknowledge—the center of my world.
My Josephine.
Eventually, I assent to Chase with a curt nod. Even though I’m finding the strength it takes to put all this shit from the past to the side seems to get harder and harder to muster every year.
“Come on, guys,” Chase directs. “Let’s go back over by the exhibition, set up, and eat some lunch before we have to get warmed up and shit for the run-through.”
Anna rolls her eyes and then smirks, lifting her hand in a wave just to mock me before turning to sashay away. I grind my jaw so tight I nearly bust through my own mouth, but Chase reaches up and places a calming pat to my chest.
“I’ll keep her away from you from now on,” he guarantees. “When she started in this direction, I didn’t know this was where she was headin’.”
“What’re you doin’, Chase?” I ask in a heated whisper, now that Anna, Cutter, Lynn, and Bo are all out of hearing distance. “Fuckin’ her? Can’t y’all find any other pussy on the goddamn planet earth?”
Chase shakes his head and holds up both hands in a defensive salute. “It’s not like that, Rhett. I swear. I know Anna just as well as you do, and she could have a pussy made of gold and I’d not dip my shit in there. Swear it. Same for the other boys. They all respect you more’n that, I promise.”
“Then what in the hell are you doin’, traipsin’ around with her? Standin’ right behind her while she ambushed me like that? Goddamn.”
“We’re just keepin’ her out of trouble. Keepin’ her distracted. Last thing I want is to see her break your sweet kid’s heart over and over again.”
“I don’t even know why she’s gotta come back every year for this fuckin’ event. She knows damn well I don’t want her here.”
“Because she knows damn well she’s gonna get an emotional rise outta you, bud. She loves the attention, you fuckin’ know that. Don’t matter to her if it’s positive or negative, just as long as you’re thinkin’ ’bout her.”
I roll my shoulders back and sink the grip of my hands into the back of my neck. I know Chase is right, and still, I can’t seem to help myself.
Finally, I nod, and he pats my shoulder. “Not one of us boys blames you. We know how tough this shit must be. But I reckon’ the day she’ll stop fuckin’ with you is the day you stop givin’ a shit, ya know?”
I’m not so sure she’ll ever stop tormenting me, but instead of saying as much, I nod.
“Well, it’s good to see ya, even if you’re keepin’ company with the devil,” I say, “but I’ve got shit to do.”
Chase laughs. “Good to see me? It’s good to see you upright on two feet. Last time I saw you, you were flashin’ in and out of consciousness as they loaded you into an ambulance.” He smirks then, wagging his eyebrows and adding, “It was one helluva ride, though, I’ll give ya that. Cutter and Lynn practically worship at the altar of bronc-ridin’ great Rhett Jameson now.”
I shake my head and laugh, and with another slap of my shoulder, he takes off at a jog out the doors and in the direction of Bo, Lynn, Cutter, and the woman who shall not be named.
I take a deep breath and follow, tipping my hat down slightly to shield the sun as I step through the big French doors and scan the area.
It doesn’t take me long to spot Joey and Leah, running full steam through the grass on the other side of the fire pit and gazebo area.
They’re barefoot and laughing, and Joey’s face is alight with the kind of happiness that makes being a father feel like the biggest honor of my life.
And Leah, well, fuck, she looks the prettiest I’ve ever seen her.
Honestly, after reminding myself of what ugly actually looks like talking to Anna, and then seeing Leah laughing with my little girl like she’s the best thing in the world, I don’t know that God even makes anything better.
The bold thought takes me by surprise—so much so that I stop walking and pause before stutter-stepping back into motion. Unfortunately, the unexpected movement jolts my knee, and a zap of pain runs through it that I haven’t felt in weeks.
I reach down as I grimace, pausing again, and before I know it, Leah is there, grabbing me by the arms and searching my eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asks seriously, trying to make the kind of eye contact my emotional awareness isn’t quite ready for. Instead, I look around her to Joey as she runs toward us with a smile on her face.
“Daddy!” she yells, completely out of breath and almost wheezing but doing it through a huge smile. “Leah and I been racin’, and I won twice!”
“That’s pretty impressive, darlin’,” I tell her, gritting my teeth as I try to stand up straight again. Leah notices the strain and takes charge immediately.
“Stand right here, do you hear me? Don’t move. I’m going to get a chair so you can sit and I can take a look at your knee.”
I should probably be annoyed by her fussin’ over me like a damn kid, but for some reason, the annoyance never comes. If anything, I just feel grateful.
I watch Leah walk away briefly before smiling at Joey as she grabs my hand. “You okay, Daddy?”
“Fine, baby. Just stepped a little funny, is all.”
Her eyebrows crease in the center, and she frowns. “Why aren’t you wearin’ your brace?”
I roll my eyes at her timing. Leah has just arrived back with a chair and is placing it behind me.
Given the opening, of course, she can’t help herself. “Good question, Joey. I was just about to ask the same thing.”
I sigh. “You said yourself I didn’t have to wear it all the time at this stage.”
Leah snorts. “Except when you’re busy. Which you obviously are today, are you not?”
“I might have a thing or two going on,” I admit.
Leah shakes her head, her eyebrows raised with knowing scorn. “A thing or two plus thirty.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing as she works to roll up my jeans and look at my leg and then turns back to Joey with a soft smile. “Hey, Jo-Jo, how about running and getting me an ice pack from the lodge freezer, would you?”
Joey nods exuberantly and takes off, and I have to steel my features against melting at the cutely personal nickname.
Leah pokes and prods at my skin, massaging the muscle above my knee with a gentle pressure. It’s a bit uncomfortable, given the public setting, and I have to clear my throat when my mind starts to wander into the territory of imagining her hands massaging other places—of the memories of her massaging me in nothing but my goddamn underwear.
Fuck, Rhett. The last thing you need right now is a hard-on.
Softly, she sucks the flesh of her lips into her mouth and then sits back on her heels in the grass to look me in the eye, taking her hands away. It’s somewhat awkward as we wait for Joey—at least, for me, since I’ve just been imagining an adult film featuring the two of us—so Leah talks to fill the silence. “Good job. Again.” When my eyebrows pinch together, she clarifies. “You know, with the welcome speech.”
“Thanks,” I say, skeptical of her tone. It’s not that it’s mean-spirited or anything, but it doesn’t sound entirely serious either. There’s something more up her sleeve and another comment to c
ome, I can tell. I’m just not sure what it is yet.
“Pretty soon, I think I’m going to be able to give the Welcome to Shaw Springs speech myself. A couple more run-throughs, and I think I’ll know it word for word.”
“Makes sense. You Hollywood types are good at learnin’ scripts.”
“Me? You’re the one following a playbook here, buddy. Maybe you’re the one who’s made for Hollywood, and you don’t want to admit it for fear that it’ll jeopardize your manhood.”
“Listen, darlin’, my manhood’s just fine. I’d say I’d prove it to ya, but I’m pretty sure you’d object.”
Her eyes go wide, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Relax, Leah. I don’t think there’s much chance of me droppin’ my pants here in the middle of the lodge lawn.”
Her throat bobs with her swallow, and a pang of awareness ricochets around my chest. Fuck.
Desperate to distract myself from my hormones, I keep talking. “Truth is, if I don’t follow a script, I start to lose sight of how new this is for these folks every time. It’s old hat for me, but if I don’t give ’em all the details, they’ll be out there in the pasture tryin’ to do aerobics with the horses.”
“Ha-ha,” she mocks. “Very funny.”
“The truth always makes for the best jokes, don’t it?”
I expect her to laugh back at me, maybe even resort to a little innocent violence, but instead, she seems preoccupied. Finally, she glances over her shoulder quickly, obviously checking the area for something, before venturing, “I know it’s none of my business…but that woman before…in the lodge… Who is she?”
“Which one?” I avoid, but Leah just shakes her head.
“Rhett. You know which one.”
“Her name is Anna,” I say carefully, scanning the area myself to make sure Joey hasn’t snuck up on us before I speak. “And she’s Josephine’s birth mother.”
“That’s Josephine’s mama?”
“No, darlin’. Ain’t nothin’ ‘mama’ about her. But she is the one I got pregnant and the one who popped Joey out in the hospital. It’s just that, for Anna, that’s the moment when her obligation and responsibility ended.”