Giving us a gorgeous smile, the woman began heading our way, gracefully exiting the pool via a set of stone steps that led down into the water. The effect as she left the pool, however, was more like the mythological Venus rising from the ocean. (Adding to that impression was the bikini she wore, the top of which was designed to look like two seashells.) As she came clear of the water, I couldn’t help but notice that her figure was as flawless as her face.
“Hi, baby,” the woman said as she grabbed a sarong with a floral print from one of the lounge chairs and wrapped it around her waist. “Vestibule.”
Cat and Vestibule greeted the woman with “Hey, Mom” and “Hi, Aunt Capri,” respectively. Cat then gestured towards me and Smokey and introduced us to the woman, whom we already understood to be her mother.
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Smokey said, and I expressed a similar sentiment.
“Call me Capri,” she insisted. “Not ‘Mrs.,’ not ‘Miss,’ not ‘ma’am,’ – just Capri. Got it?”
“Yes, ma–” I began, then caught myself as Capri gave me a sideways look. “I mean, yes, Capri.”
Smokey made a similar capitulation, and Capri seemed satisfied. She then looked the two of us up and down before turning to Cat and saying, “Well, which one is the boy you like?”
The bluntness of her question took me completely by surprise, and I picked up on similar emotions from Smokey. To her credit, Cat never missed a beat.
“I didn’t say I liked him,” Cat immediately replied. “I said he was cute. There’s a difference. A cute guy can be a jerk, in which case I probably wouldn’t like him. But to answer your question, it’s Jim.”
Capri looked at me again as if weighing some decision, then turned back to her daughter. “So, is he a nice guy or not?”
“Yes, he’s nice, Mom,” Cat admitted, “but he’s on the rebound, so there’s a question mark as to whether he’s worth pursuing anything with.”
I fought to keep my face impassive, but telepathically I reached out to Vestibule.
Mentally, I shook my head in despondence and then broke the connection.
“Anyway, we’ll just be over here,” Capri stated, heading for the outdoor living room.
“Wonderful,” Cat said flatly. “When do the rest of the gay divorcees arrive?”
“Any minute,” her mother noted with a smile.
Cat looked as though she had additional commentary, but before she could say anything, a woman wearing a maid’s uniform stepped onto the patio, gesturing to get Capri’s attention.
“Please excuse me,” Capri said before heading towards the maid, who began whispering something in her ear as soon as she was close enough. A moment later, the two of them hurried back into the house.
I waited a few seconds until I was certain Capri was out of earshot, then turned to Cat and said, “So, do you and your mother always speak like that?”
Cat frowned. “Like what?”
“Talk about people who are right in front of you as if they aren’t in the room.”
“Unfortunately, they do,” Vestibule interjected, laughing.
“She’s right to an extent,” Cat admitted. “Mom lacks subtlety and has no filter. I’ve learned to respond bluntly as a coping mechanism. It was either that, or be perpetually embarrassed by the things she says.”
“I can’t imagine what that must be like,” Smokey commented.
“You get used to it,” Cat said with a shrug. “Come on.”
She then began walking towards the pool, with the rest of us following her. A few seconds later, she stopped in front of a couple of the lounge chairs.
“Okay, you guys can go change in the pool house,” she said, pointing to the building I’d noticed earlier.
“What about you two?” Smokey asked.
In response, Cat reached down with both hands and began lifting the sundress over her head. At the same time, Vestibule began untying the front of her shirt.
Eyes wide in surprise, I shared a glance with Smokey and realized that he – like me – was wondering if we’d somehow wandered into a scenario we’d only heard about in movies. A moment later, I found myself relaxing as I realized that Cat had a bikini on under her dress. Likewise, Vestibule was wearing swim gear under her clothes.
“Why are you two just standing there?” Cat asked as she tossed her dress on the lounge chair. “Go change – unless you want to be pushed into the pool with your clothes and shoes on.”
“Hmmm,” Smokey droned. “Seems your mother isn’t the only one lacking subtlety.”
We all laughed at that, and then Smokey and I headed to the pool house.
Chapter 11
The pool house was actually more like a guest suite, with a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, etcetera. Smokey and I quickly changed into our swimming trunks, and then hurried back out to the pool.
We spent roughly the next hour engaged in various forms of horseplay with the girls: doing belly flops into the pool, splashing one another with water, playing Marco Polo… It was incredibly fun, and it felt great to just goof off to a certain extent, and for all intents and purposes just be a kid.
We had just started batting an inflated beach ball around when a cell phone began to ring. Almost comically, we all scrambled out of the water and rushed toward the quartet of lounge chairs where, respectively, we’d left our phones.
“I win,” I crowed when it came to light that it was my phone that was ringing. I pumped my fist in victory for a moment as the others went back to the pool. Then I noticed who was calling.
My father.
Suddenly wanting privacy, I began walking towards the pool house as I answered the phone with a brief, “Hey.”
“Hey, Jim,” Alpha Prime said in return. “What are you up to?”
“Just hanging out with Smokey and some friends,” I answered as I went into the pool house and made sure the door was shut. “And for the record, I was going to call you later today.”
My father laughed. “I’m sure you were, but it’s not a big deal. I was off on a mission anyway.”
“Oh?” I muttered in surprise. “I didn’t realize that.”
“It was kind of last-minute and very hush-hush. That said, it should wrap up shortly, and that’s why I was calling.”
My brow furrowed. “Do you need my help with something?”
“Thanks for offering, son, but no. We’re good. I really just wanted to ask if you wanted to get dinner tonight.”
“Uh…” I droned momentarily. “Unfortunately, I can’t. I’ve got plans.”
“Oh,” my father intoned softly. “I see.”
I could hear the disappointment in his voice. We’d never really had a relationship until fairly recently, and even then I’d kept him at arm’s length for a while. We seemed to be in a good place at the moment – one with a foundation we could build on – and now it probably looked like I was pushing him away again.
“It’s not like that,” I assured him. “I’m supposed to go to dinner tonight with Electra and–”
“Electra?” my father repeated, almost excitedly. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”
“It’s complicated,” I answered. “But why don’t we shoot for having dinner tomorrow instead? Smokey and I should be back for good by then, even if he stays over tonight.”
“Stays over?” he echoed. “Where exactly are you?”
“West Coast. We’re at brunch with some friends.”
“Hmmm,” he muttered. “Not a champagne brunch, I hope.”
“No,” I replied, chuckling. “No champagne.”
“So who’s with you?”
“Like I said before, Smokey’s with me, along with Vestibule – whom you know – and her cousin, Cat.”
“Any adults around?”
“What’s with all these questions?” I finally asked. “Why are you talking like I’m a little kid who needs a chaperone?”
“Look,” my father started to explain, “I trust you, okay? But your mother felt I was too hands-off as a parent. So, before she left, she made me promise to take a more active interest in what you’re doing on a daily basis. When she gets back, I need to be able to tell her that I stayed on top of where you were, who you were hanging out with, that you went to bed on time, yada, yada, yada… So just humor me, okay?”
“Fine,” I muttered in acquiescence. “Cat’s mother Capri is here. Satisfied?”
My father didn’t immediately respond. In fact, the silence stretched on for what felt like a lengthy period of time (but was probably no more than ten seconds), prompting me to say, “Hello? Are you there?”
“Ah, yeah,” he murmured. “I’m still here. What was the name of your friend’s mom again?”
“Capri,” I answered. “And before you say anything about it being disrespectful for me to address her by her name, that’s what she told us to call her.”
“No, I wasn’t going to say anything about that,” he assured me. “But tell me, what does she look like?”
My mouth almost fell open. “You’re kidding, right? Are you seriously asking me to play matchmaker for you? For all you know, she’s married.”
“No, son – that’s not it,” he insisted. “I just…” He trailed off and then took a deep breath. “You know what? I’m sorry. Honestly, I thought maybe she was someone I knew. I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I apologize for misinterpreting things. Do you want me to find out if she’s the person you know?”
“No, don’t worry about it,” he answered. “It’s not important.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he stressed. “Anyway, I have to go, but we’re on for tomorrow night, right?”
“Definitely,” I promised, then uttered a hasty goodbye and got off the phone.
I spent a moment dwelling on my relationship with Alpha Prime. A year earlier, you couldn’t have paid me to be in the same room with him. Now, I was looking forward to dinner with him. Shaking my head at how strange it all seemed, I went back outside.
The first thing I noticed was that no one was in the pool any more. Instead, my three compatriots were seated on some circular patio furniture that was situated around a fire pit table (which, unsurprisingly, was not currently lit). More to the point, they were all eating.
Hastily plopping a strawberry into his mouth and swallowing, Smokey said, “Sorry, man, but we decided to go ahead and grab some food while you were on the phone.”
“You might want to hurry if you want something,” Cat added. “My mother’s ‘Cougar Club’ is here, so there may not be anything but scraps left soon.”
“Cougar Club?” I repeated in confusion.
Chewing on a piece of waffle, Cat gestured towards the area where brunch was set up, and I noticed then that Capri – sitting on a sofa there – had been joined by a group of five more women.
“They may be thin,” Cat remarked, having apparently swallowed the waffle bit she was eating, “but those chicks can pack away some food.”
“You know we can hear you,” declared one of the women – an attractive brunette.
“I just wanted you to know that it’s okay to eat your fill,” Cat shot back. “So go on and pig out. It’s okay – nobody here will judge you.”
The brunette suddenly looked unsure of herself, as if she actually did feel like she was being judged by others.
“There’s that famous subtlety,” I joked, winking at Cat. I then hurried over to get some food.
Chapter 12
Getting something to eat turned out to be like swimming in shark-infested waters. Although all of them were attractive, Capri’s friends were as blunt and straightforward as she was in terms of speech.
“Wow,” one of them said as I grabbed a plate and started getting food. “He’s really cute.”
“He’s a little young – even for you, Amanda,” said another.
Keeping my back to them, I continued piling food onto my plate, acting as if I couldn’t hear them.
“I’m not thinking about him for me, dingbat,” Amanda retorted. “I’m thinking he’d like to meet my daughter, Kayla.”
“Sorry, ladies,” I heard Capri announce. “He’s not on the market.”
“What does that mean?” asked someone whom I’m sure was the brunette from earlier. “Has Cat staked her claim?”
“Not exactly,” Capri said.
“Then he’s fair game,” Amanda declared.
“He’s not interested,” Capri insisted.
“Why don’t we let him decide that?” Amanda suggested. “Once he sees Kayla, I think his interest will be piqued, and I just happen to have a pic–”
“Huh?” I suddenly yelled in the direction of my friends. “Okay, I’ll be there in a sec.”
I then made a beeline for Cat and the others, practically leaving a dust trail behind me. However, something on my face must have shown what occurred, because Smokey took one look at me and started laughing.
“You looked flustered,” he noted. “Did something happen?”
“Yeah,” I responded as I took a seat. “Apparently there’s some kind of male auction going on here, but nobody told me about it.”
The others laughed heartily at that.
“If it’s any consolation,” Smokey said a few moments later, still grinning, “the same thing happened to me.”
“It’s not,” I assured him, causing another round of laughter (which I joined in). Then, without further ado, I began eating.
***
The food was delicious. Assuming that Cat knew what was best, I had followed her lead and gotten the waffles (among other things), and found them to be fantastic. In fact, I ended up going back for seconds, as did Smokey.
Afterwards, we all just sat around and talked. As at the diner, it was great to just hang out with other people and engage in lighthearted chitchat. Plainly speaking, too many of my conversations involved weighty matters, whether it be forced engagements, interstellar empires, or nefarious supervillains.
Also, despite everyone’s best efforts, we all somehow got suckered into another bet by Vestibule. In essence, after she herself and then Smokey received almost back-to-back phone calls, Vestibule proposed that we see how long we could go with our cell phones completely off.
The bet was only for bragging rights, but it added a comedic element to the conversation, because – without fail – someone would invariably reach for their phone every few minutes, if only to check for text messages. Fortunately, a person was only out of the running if they actually turned their phone on. Still, it was hilarious watching someone reach for and look at a device simply out of habit when they empirically knew it was turned off.
Ultimately, the phone game came to a premature end when Capri yelled in our direction, telling Cat that her father had been trying to reach her and kept getting shunted to voicemail. Calling off the bet seemed the only fair thing to do as Cat grabbed her phone and stepped away for some privacy. It was apparently a quick call, however, as she returned maybe a minute later.
“Everything okay?” Vestibule asked.
Cat nodded. “Yeah. He was just confirming that I still wanted to go with him for ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day.’”
“Do you?” inquired Smokey.
“Of course,” Cat shot back immediately. “I love my dad, and we always have a great time together. I get m
y sense of humor from him.”
She looked as though she wanted to say more, but was interrupted by her mother shouting at us once again.
“Hey!” Capri yelled, getting our attention. “Come join us.”
I could see that she and her friends were now moving as a group towards the pool. Was she asking us to get into the water with them?
Trying to get clarity, I stood and shouted back, “What was that?”
“We’re getting in the hot tub,” she explained. “You guys should come join us.”
Caught flatfooted by her statement, my mind wasn’t even capable of forming an answer. Even though I knew empathically that none of the women had any romantic interest in me or Smokey, I was suddenly both enticed and a little intimidated by the idea of being in a hot tub with a bunch of beautiful women. Thus, I simply stood there watching as Capri and her friends all slipped into the bubbling water, laughing.
“Come on,” one of them shouted in our direction. “We don’t bite…much.”
This caused a round of raucous laughter to erupt from all the women. I spent a moment trying to come up with a witty reply, but apparently Cat interpreted my silence as me considering the offer.
Reaching out, she latched onto my wrist and hissed, “Don’t you dare.”
Her tone was both playful and forceful at the same time. She tugged slightly on my arm, and – taking the suggested hint – I sat back down. Cat then released her grip on me, but I now found myself staring at her.
Noting my attention, she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as bossy or anything. It’s just that the last time I had friends over and they got in the hot tub, Mom embarrassed them so badly that they never came back. Don’t read too much into this, but I like you guys, and I don’t want her to run you off.”
“That’s not likely,” I uttered in a monotone, then finally tore my eyes away from her.
Apparently, Cat had thought I’d been staring because she’d been a little high-handed. The truth was far different.
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