by Rose David
Which reminded me... Sean still had one wish to go. We had been too busy kissing (five times!) to really discuss it. I tried to think of what else he might want, but came up blank. Cars were probably out, as were other expensive objects. Now that we had brought his parents back together, everything else seemed kind of lame.
Maybe I could whip up the world’s best slice of pepperoni pizza. That was a silly wish, but not totally useless. Dad still had a gleam in his eye when he talked about the “world’s best steak” I had zapped up during his three wishes.
But then a new thought rattled the smile right off of my face.
Sean only had one wish left--would happen when it was gone? Anxiety lurched through my stomach, and I tried to push the thought away. Why should anything happen after his third wish? I wondered. There was no reason for things between us to change.
In spite of myself, another sliver of uncertainty poked into my thoughts as a pesky voice finished, ...except for the fact that you don’t have anything else in common.
I sunk down into the water, letting it rise to just underneath my nose. Technically, Sean and I had those five kisses in common, plus an appreciation for Aston Martins, and (I had found on Friday) a love for the gross-out comedy. Those had to count for something, right?
Right?!
I sighed, blinking away the jet of water that spurted up at me as I exhaled. If Sean and I were such a perfect match, then why hadn’t we started hanging out before he stole my ring? He had always been nice enough in class, but he had never asked me out until his three wishes had come.
Oh my gawd. What if Sean only wanted to date me because I was a genie? Sure, nothing wish-related had come up over the past few days, but what if this weekend had just been some kind of smoke screen to lull me into a false sense of security?
Clearly my IQ hadn’t recovered from that kiss on Friday night. Ugh, why couldn’t people just kiss with their brains or something? If my lips hadn’t distracted me, I would have realized all of this two days ago.
Instead of a cozy sanctuary, my bath now felt like a hot lava pit. Could a bubble bath actually turn mean? I popped open the drain and struggled to stand, my limbs heavy and stinging from the heat.
What time is it? I thought. I had planned to spend most of the evening in the tub reading trashy magazines, but right now, all I wanted was Nat’s calm voice on my phone line telling me that everything was going to be fine.
“You’re just freaking out,” she would tell me. “You’ve got to stop catastrophizing.”
We had learned about catastrophizing last semester in Psychology. Since then, Nat had found a use for it almost every time I was worried about something.
As I trudged back into my bedroom, a cool burst from the air conditioner made me wince. Or maybe it was yet another unpleasant realization: I couldn’t talk to Natalie. “Catastrophizing” or not, there was no way I could spin this that wouldn’t make it sound like I had been hanging out with Sean Fabry behind Natalie’s back for weeks.
Which, okay, was true. But it wasn’t like I had wanted to lie to her.
I groaned and climbed onto my bed. Why couldn’t Mom and Dad just let me tell Natalie that I was a genie? They had known her for years, and it wasn’t like they didn’t trust her as much as they trusted me. I stared longingly at my phone.
Natalie would know what to say right now. Nat would be--
Oh, crap.
I sat up, my chest tight. How the hell was I going to explain to my best friend that I was kind-of-sort-of-maybe dating the guy she had been crushing on for years? Had I really become such a terrible friend that this wouldn’t have occurred to me--not even after five whole kisses?
Damn my gullible lips.
It was a good thing Sean had been with his parents tonight. Otherwise I might have stayed inside my brain-fog. I would have just skipped into school and started blabbing to Natalie about my weekend spit-swapping festival with the love of her life. My heart flipped as it hit me that I hadn’t disregarded Natalie... I had forgotten her.
And all because of a guy.
If Sean’s last wish came and went, and he decided to ignore me forever, then Natalie would never have to know what had happened between us. Then everything would be all right, wouldn’t it?
I shut my eyes, somehow managing to feel both relieved and totally miserable.
Besides, I wasn’t off the hook yet. The truth was, Sean and I might still be dating after his last wish (emphasis on the might). But if there was even half a chance, I had to give Natalie some kind of warning.
After neglecting her for so long, I owed her that, at least.
#
Nat, I’ve been seeing Sean Fabry behind your back for the last few weeks, and, since last Friday, we’ve also been making out.
I frowned at the crumpled Post-It in my hand, wondering when the hell that had ever seemed like a good way to break the news to Natalie. I had stayed up until three o’clock last night trying to figure out what to say, and I must have gone partially insane from all the sleep deprivation.
I crumpled up the yellow paper and tossed it into the bottom of my open locker. I would just have to come up with something else between now and English class, meaning I had just under three minutes to come up with something.
My red-eyed face stared back at me from my locker mirror, looking utterly unsurprised that no brilliant speeches were popping into my head. Maybe I could abandon a pre-planned speech and just say whatever was on my mind. It couldn’t turn out that badly, could it?
With a sinking feeling, I grabbed my lit book, then slammed shut my locker door. As I turned to leave, something blocked my way, spiking my frazzled nerves. “Crap!” I squealed.
Natalie reared back, her heavy literature textbook slipping from her grip. The fat, hardcover volume landed corner-first on her foot and she let out a curse.
I winced. “Ugh, sorry.”
“I-it’s all right.” She groaned as she reached down to sweep the book back into her arms. “It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have sneaked up.”
“Right. Yeah.” At this point, I should have taken a deep breath and come clean. But, to my horror, it seemed like my brain had decided to switch off now that Natalie was standing in front of me (that is, within striking distance).
The way a drowning man imagines a life jacket, I imagined the crumpled Post-It lolling at the bottom of my locker.
“Umm, Layla?”
“Huh?” I blinked, abruptly aware that I had been staring absently at Nat’s head for about thirty seconds.
“Do you want to go to class now?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “Class. Sorry, I guess I forgot.”
Nat gave me a funny look, but shook her head and lead the way down the hall. “So how was your weekend?” she asked. “Did any little kids puke on you?”
Hearing my lie repeated back to me sent a wave of guilt churning into my stomach. By babysitting, I had (of course) meant, kissing the guy that you’ve been in love with for three years, who might not even like me for real, anyway.
Outwardly, I shook my head. “I escaped unharmed. Don’t think it didn’t take some creative acrobatics. My wrist still hurts from that back handspring I had to do.” Nat’s smile made my heart hammer a little less nervously. However, now that I had put her in a semi-good mood, it was time to totally ruin her day, if not her ability to trust, well, anybody.
I paused outside of our classroom, and she followed suit.
My expression must have been heavy, because Natalie’s brow knitted together with concern. “Hey, is everything okay?”
“Actually, no.” I sighed. “I mean, it might be okay, but it might not be okay. It could actually turn out to be really, really good, if it doesn’t turn out to be so totally, completely, terrible that I want to crawl under a rock or something.”
Stop rambling, psycho! I commanded myself. I clamped my mouth shut, damming the tide of nervous words. For future reference, I noted the fact that I utterly sucked at impro
v.
“Layla,” Natalie said gently, “you don’t have to feel weird.”
I stiffened. Did Nat already know about Sean and me? She had always said she was part psychic. I eyed her carefully. “I... don’t?”
Nat reached out. For a frantic half-second, I thought she might smack me in the head.
Liar! she would yell. How dare you kiss Sean Fabry five times!
But she only put her hand on my shoulder and smiled. “You’ll totally get into the program. I know you will. You worked so hard on your portfolio, and you know, you really do have a good eye for pictures.”
Comprehension dawned on me with embarrassing slowness. Nat watched patiently as I nodded in thought. “Arts camp. Yeah,” I heard myself say. “That’s not actually what--”
She held up a hand. “All right, fine, we’ll look at the worst-case scenario, but not because I’m encouraging you to catastrophize. It’s just because it might make you feel better, okay?”
I felt my head bounce up and down like a dashboard ornament, even while my guilty conscience screamed for me to interrupt.
“Even if you don’t get into the arts camp--which I think is totally impossible, but fine, whatever--you can always try out next year,” said Nat. “And maybe your parents can let you come visit for a few days or something. We’re allowed to have guests in the dorms. I already called and asked.”
I smiled weakly. Nat had been looking out for me all this time, trying to make arrangements so I wouldn’t feel left out. Meanwhile, I had been running around town with her long-term crush. I was tempted to wish myself into becoming a better person, but I didn’t think my half-breed powers were up to that monumental task.
My stomach twisting, I took a deep breath. “Natalie, I really have to talk to you, and not about camp, either.”
Like a switch flipping, Nat’s face turned from open to serious. “All right,” she said quietly.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “For the past few weeks, I’ve been--Ugh, wait a second, that’s probably not what I want to say.” I shook my head, trying to collect myself.
And then the words popped into my head like magic, as if I had wished them there: I’ve been hanging out with Sean Fabry, and I’ve been lying to you about it. I knew then that this was the right thing to say, no Post-It Note required.
“I’ve...” I began, unable to coax the rest of it to my tongue.
Natalie’s face grew darker, either with worry or with suspicion. She didn’t demand answers, just watched and waited with a disconcerting amount of patience.
Out of nowhere, the tardy bell fired a long, shrill note, making us both jump. I put a hand on my chest, feeling my heart hammer under my fingers.
“Yikes,” I sighed. Now I knew how Sean had felt when he made that “cross” with the hockey stick and tennis racket.
Nat frowned. “Layla, why are you--?”
“Ladies.” Mr. Lopez smirked at us from the doorway. “We’d love it if you could stop by our class today. Are you free?”
Sweet, unexpected relief poured through my anxiety, and I had never been so happy to see my sarcastic English Lit teacher. Ah, good old Mr. Lopez.
“Sorry,” I trilled. “Going in now.” The smile that dawned across my face was so bright that Mr. Lopez took a step back, as if he might catch the new strain of crazy that was bubbling in my veins.
Without another glance back at Natalie, I zipped into class.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
It should have been like ripping off a Band-Aid--just tell the freaking truth and then go on with the rest of your day.
Right?
“Coward,” I muttered, staring at my reflection in my locker mirror.
Hours had passed since my non-conversation with Natalie this morning. It was lunchtime now, and I knew Natalie and Rajesh were waiting for me in the parking lot. Still, I moved slowly as I deposited the morning’s books into my locker.
Natalie was already suspicious after my incoherent rant this morning, so there was no way I could avoid the subject again. I wasn’t sure I had the stomach for that, anyway. The only thing that had saved me from blurting anything out in Mr. Lopez’s class was his strict no-talking policy.
Come to think of it, I was really starting to enjoy English class. It was like a mini-vacation from awkward situations.
Now, of course, my little vacation was over. I closed my locker, then stepped through the hallway with all the grace and speed of a drugged stegosaurus. Here goes nothing, I thought. Or everything.
“Hey, I caught you.” Sean leaned against the doorway of an empty classroom. “You wanna grab lunch?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Seeing him brought a smile to my lips, despite the anxiety that bubbled through me. I came closer. “I don’t think I can, though.”
He gave me a lopsided grin. “You’re not about to turn me into a pink... What was that?”
“Nematode,” I said. “Sorry, but I have plans with Nat and Raj.”
“That’s cool. Why don’t I come along?”
“What? No way!” I cried. My voice was loud enough to make a few guys clustered nearby interrupt their in-depth analysis of Megan Fox’s boobs to give me a weird look. I really had to learn how to use my Inside Voice.
In the meantime, I pulled Sean into the empty classroom behind him, my face burning. “Nat and I have to talk,” I said. At the heaviness in my voice, Sean’s face pinched with doubt. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, I added, “About girl stuff.”
As I had hoped, that was enough to extinguish Sean’s curiosity. He nodded, suddenly satisfied. “Uh... Good.”
“Maybe next time,” I said. “Well, I gotta run, so--” But my brain interrupted my mouth. As I stared at Sean, I realized he had adopted his Thinking Face. My limbs felt stuck in place, even if my brain was screaming for me to Run! Run away from the Thinking Face!
“Layla, I really gotta tell you something,” he said. “It’s about the wishes.”
My heart pinched. Oh gawd, it was actually happening. Just like I had feared, Sean was going to tell me that this weekend had been a big mistake, and that his mouth had only fallen on top of mine five times by accident. My catastrophizing had come true.
“You know, you kissed me,” I heard myself say. “It wasn’t my fault I kissed back.”
“I... Huh?”
It took a moment for me to realize I had actually said those things out loud, instead of just thinking them. I tucked my bottom lip under my teeth, hoping to prevent any more accidental slip-ups as I tried to think of some explanation.
Which, of course, was when my over-active brain decided to turn off yet again.
“Did you... not want me to kiss you?” he asked.
“What? No! I mean, yes. I mean...” I sighed. “Ugh. I don’t know.”
Sean frowned down at his shoes for a second. When he looked back at me, his eyes were dark and careful. “Sorry, I guess.”
“That’s not what I meant. Well, that is what I meant, I just... Look, I really can’t talk about this right now. I should go.” I turned to leave, but Sean’s hand hooked around my elbow and I stopped in my tracks.
We just stood there, with Sean looking more confused as the seconds passed while I could barely look him the face. Finally, I slipped away, sighing. My skin felt cold where his hand had been, and I crossed my arms to keep from shivering.
“Listen,” I said, “it’s Natalie, okay?”
He shook his head. “What about Natalie?”
“She’s my best friend, Sean.”
“Yeah, okay...” From the uncertainty written all over his face, it was clear he had missed the train.
“You don’t get it, do you?” I said. “How self-centered can you be?”
Sean stiffened and took a step back. “What’s your problem today?”
“My problem,” I said, my voice rising again, “is that my best friend has been in love with you for like, three years and you barely even know she exists.”
“Hey, I didn’t even--” Sean started, but stopped dead to stare at someone behind me. From the way he winced, I knew it could only be one person.
In that moment, my chest felt ready to collapse. I didn’t want to turn around--I could have stayed planted on this spot forever, sprouting roots like a tree. Anything would have been better than looking behind me.
But I did. I had to.
Natalie stayed just long enough to link eyes with me, as if she expected some kind of explanation.
All I could do was shake my head.
The sound of her footsteps rushing away echoed in my ears.
#
I didn’t go after her, and not because of some deep understanding of my best friend’s state of mind. I knew Natalie would want some time alone to process my betrayal, but that wasn’t why I waited so long to emerge from the classroom.
Through the dull roar in my brain, Sean’s questions were like music from another room. I didn’t have the strength to answer. As I stepped into the hallway, he tried to come after me, but I shrugged him off.
The rest of the day blurred around me as I replayed the scene with Nat and Sean over and over in my head. Thinking about it was like pressing on a wound, but I couldn’t help myself. By the time I got home after school, the moment was crystal clear in my mind, every frown and eyebrow twitch magnified.
I climbed upstairs to my bedroom, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary. I decided that I was going to stay in my room forever, living only on pancakes (which could be slipped under the door). Years later, some archeologist would find me shriveled up and silver-haired, my brain addled from a lifetime of uninterrupted TV consumption.
All in all, it didn’t sound so bad. It was a hell of a lot better than facing the best friend I had been lying to for weeks, not to mention the guy I had accidentally kissed five times. Well, not completely by accident, but mostly. If I had been thinking straight last Friday night, I wouldn’t have kissed Sean.
Instead, I would have scooted away and told him, “Sir, you’re being highly inappropriate. Making out with you would mean betraying my best friend, and that’s something I would never do.”