It didn’t affect Kane at all.
Weakened by his wounds and emotional devastation, Bennett landed on his back under the big shifter. Kane breathed hard as if the movement had winded him, but Bennett knew better. This bear was strong. He’d seen shifters like him who could run or fight for hours without pause.
Kane’s thighs trapped Bennett to the rock, and the jagged edge dug into his spine. He focused on that pain rather than the clean scents of pine and mint. Today something else clung to Kane—something earthier.
“Do not fight me, Blondie. You’re coming to the Sanctuary.” For a long heartbeat, he held Bennett’s gaze, his own challenging.
The excitement in his eyes dulled. A mask slid over his features. Suddenly he shook himself and rolled off, leaving Bennett more confused and angry than ever.
He swung at Kane’s jaw, but the shifter leaned to the side out of reach. Kane slung his arms around his knees, striking a casual pose that jerked Bennett even more off-balance. Everything about this shifter’s body language confused him. Was he a threat or an alliance? Bennett couldn’t read him.
It crossed his mind that Kane was as conflicted as he was.
“Tell me your name.”
Bennett slowly sat up, feeling his bruises more acutely after being thrown to the floor. The gash in his leg throbbed and seeped with blood.
Kane ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, especially since you’re already in pain.”
Bennett scooted backward until his spine was against the wall. Protecting himself. If Kane came after him again, he’d have a small advantage.
Some emotion rippled across Kane’s face, creasing his heavy brows. “I’m a healer in training at the Sanctuary, studying under Dr. Dirk Dreyer.”
Unwilling to respond, Bennett just narrowed his eyes.
“I’ve seen shifters like you.”
Without thinking, Bennett said, “I doubt it.”
Kane raised a brow. “It’s true. Right now we have four shifters like you in our care. Driven from your mates, suffering withdrawal. The very being that’s supposed to love you is killing you.”
The words severed an artery of emotion—and Bennett’s control. His stomach heaved, bile rushed up. While he retched, Kane locked a strong arm around him. Shudders racked Bennett, but Kane held tight. For long minutes Bennett’s eyes watered and his nose stung. That familiar pain of loss clung to every corner of his brain.
Kane’s embrace didn’t relent. If anything, he drew Bennett more firmly against his chest. Bennett fought it, but he couldn’t in his weakened state.
He softened a little to the unwelcome shifter.
Then Kane said the one thing that broke Bennett completely. “This isn’t your fault.”
* * * * *
The shifter hung limp in Kane’s hold. Under Kane’s arm, Bennett’s abdominal muscles quivered from his bout of sickness. He felt like a wild bird, all bone and sinew and with that underlying will to keep fighting.
Kane hung onto that thought. If the shifter truly wanted to die, he would have left the cave and gone where Kane couldn’t have found him again. If he wanted to die, he would have laid face-down in the river.
But he’d stayed and had even taken the herbs Kane had left, though they hadn’t quite done the job.
“Tell me your name.”
The shifter’s stomach heaved again, but he didn’t expel anything. A miasma of sickness clung to his hair, skin and clothing. He needed a bath and a warm bed.
“Bennett.”
“And you’re Niedz.”
He bobbed his head weakly.
“The Sanctuary is home to all clans. We can take care of you.”
Bennett jerked in his arms, and Kane released him. Bennett collapsed against the wall, cheek pressed to the cold, damp stone. “Don’t need you.”
Kane slung his arm around his knees again, battling the need to pick Bennett up and carry him out of here. He’d worked with many ill shifters, and while none of them had been in Bennett’s shoes, Kane had never felt this strongly about any of them.
This shifter was different.
He made Kane lose sight of his own life, his goals… his universe.
Bennett raised a protective instinct in him, something deep he’d believed nonexistent. He’d heard stories about how Dirk had acted differently around Ryan from the first night he’d arrived, and Kane hadn’t completely understood it.
Until now.
He threaded his fingers through his spiky hair and tugged lightly. An ache was forming behind his eyes. Probably has to do with going against my instincts.
“When I was young, I thought my strength came from my fists.” He held them out. Heavy-knuckled and scarred, they spoke of his past better than he could convey. He ran his thumb along a white Z-shaped scar. “I got this one when I turned on my brother.”
Bennett’s gaze snapped to his. The depths glowed, two green embers burning into Kane.
Drawing a deep breath, Kane continued. He’d only told one other person this story, and that was Dirk on the day he’d taken his apprenticeship vows. “Our father wasn’t an alpha, yet many came to him to solve problems. He settled arguments among our people of the Ravac Clan. He sent those who could hunt after food for those who were no longer able.”
When he looked up, he found Bennett’s attention fixed on him. His stomach heated.
“The Ravac were at war with a bordering clan. A small clan not many are familiar with, but maybe you are, being from a warrior clan. The Shash?”
Bennett nodded and let his gaze slide away. But only momentarily. When Bennett looked fully into his eyes again, that heat in his groin spread, hot fingers teasing.
“My father was called to the border to search for a shifter child who’d been separated from his family during the razing of a village. The attack came out of nowhere.” His throat closed.
Bennett’s features relaxed though the pain on his face still lingered. He settled more comfortably on the floor.
“My father didn’t die that night. In fact, he didn’t die for another fortnight, but he was in agony. Soon it was apparent his self-healing powers wouldn’t work in this case. My people began to prepare for his death.”
He met Bennett’s gaze and forced out the rest of the story he was still so ashamed of after three years. “My brother Ramy and I… we’re twins. He’s older, but I’m stronger.” He made a fist and punched his cupped hand, making a dull thud. “Clansmen didn’t like Ramy, who was sometimes known for being too hard and judgmental. They urged me to best him and take control. So I used my strength to try to win my father’s position.”
Shame coursed through him. The night he’d nearly beaten Ramy to death, he’d given up everything.
His clan.
His claim to the lands.
His life.
“I almost killed Ramy. When I realized what I’d done, who I’d become at the urging of my clan… I ran. I’d won the position, but I no longer wanted it. I was so ashamed, I couldn’t face the clan or my family ever again. I wandered for a long time, trying to find myself. I learned the ways of healing and was taught by several shifters on the way here to the Sanctuary. I have hope that by healing I would somehow make up for the wounds I inflicted. Then I came here.” He spread his hands, indicating the Medve Territory—a place of more peace than he deserved.
But as he looked upon Bennett, he felt far from at peace.
Bennett remained silent, his expression distant. Outside the cave the wind shifted, bringing the scent of rain. Kane stood, and Bennett craned his neck to look up at him. Hunching to keep from striking his head on the low ceiling, Kane said, “If you follow the path to the east, you’ll meet the river.”
He walked to the front of the cave, and Bennett’s voice followed. “What will I do at a river? Drown myself?”
Kane couldn’t help but smile at the insolence he heard in Bennett’s tone. No, Bennett did not wish to die.
He t
urned back and found Bennett was on his feet, though swaying. “It would be a pity for you to drown yourself. But I do think you need a good soak. You smell.” He smiled at him. “Take a bath, Bennett.” With that, he left the cave and the shifter who turned him inside out.
-Chapter Four-
Kane thrust the pestle into the mortar, crushing the fresh herbs Dr. Dreyer’s assistant Josef had just brought in. The scents rose up in the air, causing a small tickle in the back of Kane’s throat, but he continued to pound the leaves and roots into powder.
The sleeping powder was needed for many who took refuge in the Sanctuary, but while he worked, a certain blond bear was on his mind.
If he could see Bennett’s astonished face again when he’d told him to take a bath… Well, he chuckled each time he thought of it.
Perhaps the shifter would see that there was life to be lived still. That drowning himself in the river was no option for a strong bear like him.
And with any hope, the pained shifter would take Kane’s story about his past to mean that everybody deserved a second chance. Though Bennett had not asked for the world without his mate he’d been thrust into, he too could find a new life to lead.
Dreyer’s office adjoined his personal suite and there was also a sunny bank of windows here in the surgery space, the doctor’s private place to tinker and work on new medications to help the shifters he worked with.
Standing here with the sunlight warming his shoulders and the smell of herbs thick in the air eased some of the strain Kane had felt over the past few days since coming across Bennett in the cave.
He couldn’t get the shifter out of his mind, but the work was a welcome distraction.
After he’d gotten all the herbs crushed, he carefully scraped them into a larger jar, filled the mortar again and began to crush a new batch. The mindless activity allowed his mind to wander.
Kane’s inner eye opened up and his bear senses surfaced. The scents of the herb were clean and sharp. Beneath his feet, he felt the slightest vibration and turned to greet the person before he came through the door.
“Doctor.” He glanced over his shoulder.
Dreyer grinned. “You heard me coming.”
“Felt you.”
“Ah. Am I interrupting? I can go.”
“No, I haven’t mind-walked. I was just crushing herbs and drifted away.” He smiled at his friend and colleague. The bear shifter spirit could sometimes leave the human form and explore, wander when restless.
Dreyer drifted in to examine the quality of the powder Kane had created. “Nice and fine. Good.” He looked up at him. “How long have you been a walker?”
“Since I was a child.” The room was warm and smelled good. Dirk’s closeness offered Kane a sense of friendship, which he craved right now. After being with Bennett, he was more disturbed in spirit than he cared to admit. Somehow, he’d like to bring the topic up to Dirk and get his opinions about the shifter and Kane’s odd urges to help him.
“It’s not a common trait in bears. You’re lucky.” Dirk leaned against the counter and folded his arms, watching him.
“I count myself as lucky, yes. The act of mind-walking has always been one that comforts.”
“I see.”
He looked up at the doctor. “What do you see?”
Dirk smiled. “That you have need of comfort. Is it the shifter in the cave?”
Kane dropped the pestle and stared at the man. “Why would you ask me that?” His voice was hoarse, his mouth suddenly dry.
Dirk leaned over and swiped a finger across Kane’s forehead. Shocked, he stepped back. Rubbing his finger and thumb together, Dirk tested the perspiration he’d gathered.
“Your pheromones are off the charts, my friend.”
“Meaning?” He knew what it meant—he just needed his friend to say the words. Then what would he even do about it?
“You know what it means. But you’re not totally there yet. There’s still time to back off. If you want, that is.”
He dropped his head. An internal battle waged.
“Dammit,” he said at last. “I felt it coming on when I was near him. I felt it right here.” He thumped the center of his chest with his fist.
Looking at him with sympathy spelled across his face, Dirk said, “I know that feeling, my friend.”
“You couldn’t fight it.”
“If Ryan had left the Sanctuary, I would have had to. You can too, if it isn’t something you’re willing to wait for.”
“Hell, Dirk. Wait? What if the man never recovers? I’d be binding my heart and soul to someone I could never have.” He shook his head. “No. I won’t do it.” Picking up the pestle again, he began to grind the herbs.
“We don’t need dust, just fine powder, friend.” Dirk patted his shoulder. “Whatever you decide, I will be here for you. If you choose to fight against the urges to claim the shifter, I can give you something to assist with the need.”
Great—he was practically an addict, like some kind of human. Instead, he was already experiencing the extreme need to see Bennett, to return to the cave again and again just to hear him breathing.
He gave a shake of his head. “Not yet. I’m okay.”
“All right. I’ll check in on you again soon. Keep busy, my friend.” With that, Dirk took himself out of the room, leaving Kane shaken, feeling slightly lightheaded.
This was exactly what he didn’t need in his life. He was still learning, here at the Sanctuary, his goal to gain the knowledge he needed to fulfill his dream of setting off deep into the wilderness in order to begin his own clinic there, something like the Sanctuary.
Not only was it terrible timing to find the man his body screamed out could be his mate, but Bennett was far from willing.
As he ground the herbs, he tried to find his inner eye again, to do the mind-walk and uncover a spot of peace. But since speaking to Dirk, he couldn’t be further from calm.
* * * * *
Kane didn’t return for two days. But during that time Bennett used the stronger herb powder and slept. When he awakened, he itched so badly from being filthy that Kane’s words came to mind.
Take a bath.
Suddenly the icy depths of the river appealed to him. Besides, he did smell. He got to his feet, bracing a hand on the cave wall to keep upright. Then he limped out into the cold air. The sunlight made him squint and his eyes stream. After days in near darkness, he felt like a bug crawling out from under a rock.
His leg hurt, and he couldn’t support his weight fully for long. So he walked to a tree and yanked off a branch. Using this as a crutch, he managed to limp the distance to the river to scrub himself clean.
When he walked into the cold depths, fish scattered around him, their silvery backs flashing in the sunlight. His inner bear came alive—his stomach cramped with something besides nausea.
I could catch one of those fish.
But he just soaked his bruised and battered body in the cold water and forgot about eating. When he was too exhausted to stay in the water anymore, he climbed onto the bank, stretched out and slept.
He awakened to find it was dusk, and the urge to get back to his shelter burned. Maybe someone has come looking for me. Maybe Raphael followed me.
More likely Kane had come by. Finding him gone, he may never return, believing Bennett had moved on.
He limped faster up the bank, and the pain he’d soaked out of his thigh returned like flames licking at his flesh.
Not bothering to dress in the tatters of his clothing, he left it on the bank and began the long hike back to the cave. His thigh cramped and throbbed more than before, and he broke out in a fevered sweat.
By the time he realized he would need his clothes in the chill cave, he was a quarter mile from the pile of garments. He paused on the path and looked back, judging whether or not he could make the walk. His pulse tripped, and black spots flashed behind his eyes.
He pushed on, his hurt bear in need of shelter and solitude. But Kane’
s story swirled in his mind, plaguing him. He knew of Kane’s father. Stories of his death had made their way back to the Niedz. Bennett had sat around the fire with Raphael and three other warriors, listening to the tale.
Raphael had grunted with amusement. At the time his mate’s lack of compassion hadn’t bothered Bennett, but it did now.
Now it was personal.
He tracked movement through the brush. Lifting his head, he sniffed the air.
Pine and mint.
Damn Kane for coming back.
Even as he thought this, hope grew inside him that he’d still be here.
Could still help him.
Because Bennett had come to realize he wasn’t leaving this cave without help.
He tried to quicken his pace, but his stiff leg refused to work properly. From his position, he clearly saw the mouth of the cave. Kane vanished inside then appeared once more, his big form seeming to take up the entire opening. He stood there for a moment then went inside again.
He pushed forward. Part of him—the part that belonged to Raphael—recoiled at the thought of being in the presence of and relying on anybody but his mate. But… he did want to survive.
By the time he reached the cave, his leg was screaming. When he was five paces away, Kane appeared, concern etched all over his rugged features. His stark cheekbones cast shadows over his face and his brows were a thick, dark line.
He reached Kane in three steps. “What the hell are you thinking? Where are your clothes?”
Suddenly the slick sweat covering Bennett’s skin cooled, raising gooseflesh all over his body. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering.
“Damn.” Kane ripped his shirt off and pulled the neck over Bennett’s head. He couldn’t unfold his arms because he was shaking so badly, so Kane did it for him, guiding his arms into the long sleeves, which were already warmed from Kane’s body.
Kane raked his gaze over him. When he took in the puckered and angry wound on his thigh, he made a soft noise.
The sound was a warm caress to Bennett’s abused soul.
“Come back with me. No, to hell with that—you’re coming back with me.” Kane pivoted to go, but Bennett couldn’t follow. Suddenly his muscles felt like a quivering bowl of jelly. His stomach turned over, and those black spots he’d seen before melded into one big haze of darkness.
Trusting the Bear Shifter: A MM Shifter Bonding Alpha Mates Romance (Primal Roar Series Book 2) Page 3