When they found out that Katja was Russian, and I was American, one of the men proclaimed in broken English, “Friends, we have United Nations at table. This fun foreign relations!” I looked over to Katja who was smiling and giving a little clap. She was doing great – yet I was really impatient with not knowing what she was thinking, as well as fearing what she might say in her intoxicated state. We sat there on that cold seat; naked for over an hour having to entertain these men and their stupid questions ranging from where we went to school to asking if we ever had been with a Chinese man. Then Nazir said the show was over and that the guests of honor, referring to us, had to get home. One Chinese man protested, “Can they come with us back to Beijing?” and Nazir patted him on the shoulder and said he would have to talk to us about that. He then collected an envelope from the oldest man and motioned us to get our things.
He took us behind the bar and commented, “Not bad for a first night. Next time what I want you to do is…” He then proceeded to act like some sort of teacher critiquing our performance. I was not sure what had been more an ordeal…public sex for pay or getting a lecture on how two women should be towards each other on stage. After his little coaching he then turned his back, fumbled with the envelope, and then faced us again. He handed Katja and me 700 dollars each and said the extra was a tip from the spectators. Their generosity did little to improve their image in my mind however; in fact I fantasized about their plane crashing on their way home.
Katja and I completed dressing behind the bar and Nazir reminded us to bring him our results from the health clinic as well as our monthly reproductive cycles. He then said, “You are now my employees. You can have unlimited complimentary drinks.” I was in a hurry to leave but Katja took my arm, “Just one more drink?” I sighed, “Yeah, sure.” As we sat at the bar Adlan showed up and started talking with Nazir. Both stared at us as we sat there, Katja with a mixed drink in her hand and me with a soda. The Chinese men came out from the room, shook hands with both the Zagriev brothers and waved goodbye to us. Just as Katja finished her drink a third stripper came out on stage. Katja turned to me, “She’s cute but I can do a better job.” Just then the two of the original strippers, completely undressed, approached Nazir and Adlan. As they all started talking I noticed that Adlan’s eyes were fixed on Katja. I hoped he was just admiring her. Finally Katja finished her drink and as I took her by the arm and began to lead her out Nazir called out, “I want you both here to dance at 7 the night after tomorrow night!” I replied, “We’ll be here!” and I took Katja quickly out the door.
Katja went silent as we walked to the car. I had assumed she had enjoyed the evening by how she had been acting, but when I asked how she was feeling she surprised me by laughing out loud and blurting out, “What idiots those guys were. They pay us to have fun – they pay us 700 dollars? Now I know that men are just dumb stupid animals!” I laughed and joked with her, “So, pretty sure you are swearing men off now?” Her reply caused me to assume she did not catch it for the joke it was, “Ha! Melanie, the last thing I want is to ever touch a man again! Now I am convinced. I hereby swear off those creatures!” I was amused at her devotion to her born-again lesbianism, yet a part of me really had not wanted that outcome; then again she wasn’t completely sober. However, I found it somewhat an interesting case study so I decided then and there to see if I could totally switch her orientation to women...just for an experiment. It sort of went against my views of family, and Katja certainly was the kind of person who would be at the top of my “eugenic pyramid” as she was beautiful, intelligent and very physically fit, the kind of woman who should raise a dozen kids, but maybe…just for fun see how far I could take this. So I suggested, “Hey, I know this gay bar over by the waterfront – they do serve food and we can celebrate our balance of trade with the Chinese.” She laughed and responded, “Lead the way my love! I still feel a bit off from the drinks so promise not to let me get any more tonight.” I traded her places and drove to the nightclub Nicole and I had hung out on occasion before my election.
When we arrived Katja appeared to sober up. I hoped nobody recognized me at this place, but was confident that my identity was safe. Even though it appeared neither of us were big fans of red meat in large portions we chose the most expensive steaks on the menu. While at the table Katja noted, “So, this is our people, huh?” I was unsure of what she meant by that at the time. She commented, “What kind do you find attractive? I like those two.” She pointed to a table with two women who were seated together with long black hair and features that I suppose qualified them as “lipstick lesbians,” that is they did not fit the classic view of a manly sort of woman. Just then another brunette walked past us with a perfect figure, “You would never think she was gay…but then again, two weeks ago and I would have never thought I was gay.” I corrected her, “You mean several days ago!” to which she corrected me, “No…not really…I was beginning to notice feelings for you that went beyond friendship just after we arrived in San Diego. I think while we were in the beauty parlor I first began to feel comfortable with those thoughts, but I was trying to fight them.” I asked, “So what seemed to do it?” She looked at me and reached for my hand, “You are a strong woman and you are also intelligent, beautiful and have a determined free spirit like myself. I could not help fall for you!”
I had to have some time to think over what she was saying. Just after her revelation she took me out to the dance floor and we danced, fast and slow songs, for almost an hour. At around 1:30am we left the bar and headed home. Before starting the car I sent a quick text message to Matt and Nicole that I was okay and that I would contact them soon. A moment later Matt replied and said that the family would be visiting London for a couple of days and that once back he felt the kids would appreciate a video call. I asked if he was up to such an excursion and he answered he was healing rapidly. I shot back that I loved him and put the phone away.
Katja asked in a shy voice, “Who were you texting, your husband?” I nodded my head as I turned the key. She merely said, “Oh” and looked out the window in silence the entire way back. When we arrived home she grabbed me tight and began to cry. I asked what was wrong and she said nothing…she paused and then asked, “You love your husband, don’t you?” Well, she certainly was not someone to conceal anything from me. Maybe that was one thing that I remember most about her in the beginning. I replied, timidly, “Yes, I really do.” We went into her apartment and she asked, “Can we sit on the couch?” As I sat down she asked an extremely uncomfortable question, “Melanie, I suppose there is no way you might…please help me here…you might consider a future for us?”
I held her hand tightly and replied, “The future has infinite possibilities, doesn’t it? I mean, the people we encounter in this life are not by mere chance… but I will never leave my husband.” She slouched and then asked, “Infinite possibilities, yes I believe that. I wonder… could one of those possibilities possibly involve me?” At that moment I really, really wanted to ask her how she felt about my family’s little form of polygamy but I had not known her long enough to risk divulging my second-most sensitive secret in life. Fortunately she was the one to speak, “Melanie, if you know anything about Russia you know that we often love the intrigue of loyalty coupled with affairs of the heart. Many of our renowned leaders, poets, and writers could create lifestyles that involved loved ones as well as lovers. We are loyal to those we love – even if we sometimes seem disloyal to others we love…do you understand?”
I laughed to break the tension, “Oh, you used the word ‘understand.’” She leaned back and looked into the air smiling, “Sorry, I should avoid that from now on.” I grabbed her, kissed her gently and said, “Like I said, the future can hold infinite possibilities.” At that she kissed me back and the next thing I remember I awoke sometime around 8:30am undressed on the couch and holding Katja. I looked at her, doing my best not to wake her, and wondered if indeed she and I could have some sort of future, some sort of
arrangement. She was a very special young woman, and I indeed could not see myself saying goodbye to her. I got up and tried to fix some breakfast for us without her waking but just as I left the bathroom she sat up and without any warning asked, “Melanie, would it seem weird to you if, when this is all over, and when your family returns to Portland, that you and I remain lovers? I mean, I could be your secret liaison, your mistress if you like!” I asked, “So what, you could be my secretary?” She quickly answered, “No, I mean look…I am a tremendous organizer – I know how to get things done. I could be your legislative assistant and also your campaign manager when you someday go for bigger things. We could be together forever that way!”
I was impressed with what she was asking. However, I again decided to test her loyalty, to test how much she had thought through her commitment to me…someone who she barely knew. I proposed a scenario not so much different than Nicole had once sought for me. I asked, “So you could be my mistress?” She nodded her head to affirm the idea. I then said, “You know that would mean total and complete loyalty to me, and only me. That means no men on the side, always following me where-ever that might lead and, remember this…no children.”
When I proposed this ultimate test she surprised me even more, “I could live with that. However, could you promise me that I could occasionally spend time with your children? I do so much love children and I could sort of be their nanny once in a while. I could even teach them Russian if you like.” I marveled at what she was proposing – Nicole would certainly enjoy the help around the house but of course Katja had no clue of my wife. I then, trying to test the limits I could take her I proposed, “So, let me get this straight, you will be my lesbian lover, campaign organizer and help out with my kids when I need it…and you will be okay with never having a family of your own?” She responded, “Well it goes without saying if I never have a man, does it not?”
I was impressed both at her loyalty as well as the power I had over her. We grabbed each other and began to kiss wildly until I broke the embrace and cautioned, “Hey, we need to get down to the clinic and pick up the forms those jerks want.” She reluctantly agreed and we grabbed a bite to eat and headed off to the clinic.
When we entered the clinic it was almost entirely filled with Hispanic clients. We took a number and waited for almost an hour to be called. During that time a little boy, maybe four years old, came up to Katja and handed her a plastic toy – a box with some blocks inside that he could not get out. Despite his speaking in Spanish she gently offered to assist him, smiling and talking with him in Russian. Watching them made me think of my own son, as well as what Katja and I discussed. She played with the little boy for at least ten minutes before we were called up. When I commented to her, “You seem to be wonderful with children” she smiled and replied, “Yes, I cannot wait to meet your little ones.”
I was called first to do the blood test. I mentioned that I needed a letter showing I was clean of any STDs and the nurse then asked, “You need it for work?” I said I did and she then, out of the blue asked, “You work for the place down the road…I mean are you a dancer?” I nodded my head and she said, “You are American…can’t you get work anyplace else?” I shrugged my shoulders wondering at her question until she took the blood sample and then, in a frustrated tone warned, “Look here young lady, if anyone lays a hand on you or asks you to do anything dangerous, you have the right to say no. You can get a job anywhere but that!” I asked what she meant and she said, “I have not said a thing…just remember what I said if you get my drift.” She told me I could stop by after 2pm and get my test results.
As I sat in the waiting room, waiting for Katja, I had two big things on my mind to ponder. The first was obviously my relationship with Katja and wondering where it was heading. The second was what the nurse had warned about. This clinic was close to “Club Exotica.” I wondered if there had been a history of people injured there. Was I beginning to find evidence of abuse? If so, that could indicate a possible link with Katja’s sister, but I had to find out for sure. My undercover work was just beginning and I was already getting a rush from it – but little did I realize just what the immediate future held in store for me.
Chapter 10
On the way out of the clinic Katja commented, “Many in Russia think that all people in America are blessed with big houses and money. Maybe they should see a place like this.” I looked at her as if I were about to take issue with her statement and she immediately clarified, “Sorry, I should not bad mouth your country…maybe I am frustrated that people come here thinking everything is heavenly but it sometimes isn’t.” That I could agree with.
We had a little time to kill and I asked, “Have you ever skated?” She laughed, “I grew up skating on frozen ponds in Russia.” so I suggested we go to the skating rink at the mall. The temperature outside was already hot so the idea of skating sounded wonderful.
Yet no sooner than we had gone through the doors of the mall I noticed how some young men in baggy pants were looking at us. We were dressed somewhat provocatively I suppose, both of us wearing denim cut-offs and blouses exposing our midriffs, and the looks we received in San Diego were no different than here; but Katja did not express amusement as she had before. She commented, “Stupid punks! Men are irritating as is but young ones eyeing me…” I interrupted her, “Now Katja, remember what Aslan said about not wanting any man-hating dykes.” She shook her head, “Sorry. I’ll keep my contempt to myself.” I wondered if I had perhaps created a male-hating Frankenstein’s monster. I could only imagine what she would turn into after a month if she had evolved this state of mind in two weeks. Just for fun I wanted to know what was going on behind those green eyes of hers so I suggested we sit down and eat something before renting skates.
As we dined on roast beef sandwiches and fries I asked, “Last night at the gay bar you made a comment about ‘our people’ and I wonder what you meant.” She stopped eating a moment, looked down as if in thought, and said, “I don’t know…let me ask you, perish the thought of anything happening to your husband, but if it did, would you marry a woman?” I leaned back and wondered how to answer her question. I sought a reply that could clarify my position on the matter but could only mutter, “I am not sure…I doubt anyone could fill Matt’s shoes.” She then asked, in a more confident manner, “Look out at the crowd there…do you notice more attractive women or men?” I had been through something like this with my friend Sara a half a decade earlier but this time it hit me on a deeper level for some reason. As I looked out on the rink I noticed several attractive women, but no men that gave me the same feeling. For a second I got that “Oh my God” sort of feeling but I dismissed it, thinking about a tremendous time I had with Matt the last time we dared go hiking nude in Central Oregon the previous summer. I concluded that if these images flooding back into my mind made me yearn for my husband then I was not going to be seduced into making the life decision she seemed anxious to fixate on.
I turned the topic back to her, “Katja, so you are totally lesbian?” She did not even hesitate to answer, “Yes!” So then I asked, “What would happen if I were hit by a bus today? Wouldn’t you find some guy who…?” She interrupted me and said, “No, do not even pretend something happening to you!” Then in a quieter voice she continued, “I really have experienced an energy with you I never have with any guy. It would take a really special man…no, actually not…I would go back to that bar last night and look for that brunette girl. I really like brunettes.” I laughed and just to push it further, “That’s okay…so what will your parents think?” She shot up in her seat, “Please, don’t talk about them. I love them completely but they are old-style and would disown me. They would feel I disgraced the family name as well as destroyed their chances of having grandkids. They must never find out.” I smiled and said, “If I meet them someday I’ll just tell them we are best friends.” At hearing me say that she quickly took her last bite and rushed me to the rink.
After
a short ice skating session, during which she again showed off her physical talents, we took off to the clinic, picked up our certificates and headed for the club. We arrived just before 2pm and walked to the door. We looked at each other, took simultaneous deep breaths and headed in. We noticed that “Mr. Understand” was at the bar and so we went up to him with our medical certificates. Aslan greeted us and looked over the papers. He then looked at us and asked, “Can you two come in at 9 this evening? I will have two other dancers, Tiffanie and Alexa. It is a weeknight so you will not get a load of tips, understand? You will be able to get comfortable with the work here since I need both of you on weekend shift. Last weekend was Labor Day and we were swamped but this weekend there are several big business conventions in town. I will have between eight and ten dancers and you two will have plenty of work, understand?”
We said we would be ready and he then asked about costumes. We looked at each other not knowing what he meant and he shook his head, “Amateurs. We have a lot of clothes in the back storage room – come early and get some that fit you. Last time some girl stripped using the outfit she came in with she lost her skirt and had to drive home in her G-string, so get here early, understand?” We agreed but just as we were heading out he yelled out, “Nazir may have a gig for you two next week. I notice on your papers here Petra that your cycle starts Tuesday. What about you Amber, you left that out?” I reminded him that I had just stopped breast-feeding so I had no idea. He mumbled something and waved for us to go.
We left and headed back to Katja’s place. It was almost 3:30 so we opted to just escape the heat in the apartment. Of course, we lost little time finding our way back to the bedroom – it was a great method of relieving the anxiety of our new expectations. Afterwards Katja fell asleep and I set my mobile alarm to go off at 5:30. An hour of sleep would be perfect.
Descent Into Darkness Page 15