We spent the day together just hanging out. Later, just before dinner, the doctor came in and sat down. He asked me to let him take a blood sample so he could run some tests. We looked at each other, dreading what his quiet, yet worried, look might entail, especially when he said not to worry. The next hour was quite agonizing but he came in later and announced, “You two are lucky I have a lab. I blurted out, “Okay, what is it? Don’t tell us we have HIV or something.” He smiled, “Something, but not HIV. Seems like you both have chlamydia – but don’t worry, I will give you some antibiotics and clear that up.” I could not even fathom the idea that we had caught a sexually transmitted disease – but thankfully all it would take to cure it was some nasty medicine.
Later that evening Shane came over, along with Dr. Hodge of all people. He said he had some things to go over with his doctor friend and that I and Dr. Hodge should spend some time together after dinner. I cannot say that this was the most enjoyable meal. The three of us sat there…well, Katja more like reclined on her bed, with hardly a word said between us. I asked how he had met Shane and he sat his fork down and looked at me, “He came over and introduced himself to me – I never met the man in my life until earlier today.” He resumed eating, yet periodically looking at Katja with a critical, analytical gaze. Then, before even finishing dessert he asked me, “Can we talk in private?” Katja laughed, “I can’t go anywhere.” Dr. Hodge and I excused ourselves and went into the study.
He wasted no time in asking, “What the hell are you doing? Are you insane getting involved with another woman when you already have a situation that could blow up in your face if it ever is exposed publically?” I was unsure what to say, seeing his normally calm and even tolerant demeanor had given way to irritation. I joked, “Well, what’s one more actor in an already controversial play?” He was not amused. He asked, “So every person who gives you affection in your life you are going to take in, like some sort of collection? I understand you grew up lonely, but you realize what this entails?” I asked, “That I might have to get a really big house?” He was not amused by that either. He sat down and discussed all the psychology of relationships and even asked if I felt I was being fair to others in my life – Matt, Nicole and all the children. I tried to justify my actions but he did not seem impressed with any of my logic. Yet finally he said, “Look, I fear this all blowing up someday, but I still value both our friendship and our political relationship.” I was relieved he was still loyal to me no matter what.
He then elaborated that Shane had come to his house and identified himself as a liaison for some influential person who wanted me to run for congress. Dr. Hodge explained, “I told him this could destroy your political career, going against the party at this stage, but I would do everything in my power to get you elected. He handed me a business card with nothing but his first name and an email address and that I should indicate a place convenient for me to meet him…and here I am.” I replied, “Thank you for being here at my side.” He nodded, “I’ll pick you up at your place later this week and help you file all the necessary papers for the primary election in May.” Then, as he got ready to leave, he cautioned me, “If you love that girl and it is okay with Matt and Nicole then you have my blessings; but that’s it, okay? You might consider that friendship does not have to mean full-blown relationship.” I thanked him for all he promised to do for me and said I would get everything arranged with him soon. He stopped at the door and turned around, “Melanie, what do you know about this Shane character? He seemed to know things about me I did not even know – do you trust him?” I nodded, “He saved my life.”
As Dr. Hodge left I sighed and wondered what he would do when he found out about Tiffanie. That would come later though, and I figured that he would just have to understand – as would Matt, Nicole and Katja. I went in to Katja and said that the next morning I had things to get wrapped up and that she could recuperate for a few days. She thanked me and said that she needed the rest anyway considering she had been both shot and started her cycle.
The next morning the doctor came in, and noticing I was leaving asked if I was willing to let any sexual partners know of my infection. I was not keen on informing Tiffanie, but left untreated she could wind up sterile, so I would find a way to let her know. I said goodbye to Katja and contemplated just how complicated my life was going to be as I headed to Tiffanie’s place. I would soon be juggling a family, a congressional campaign and four lovers! I have to say that I really enjoyed the adrenaline rush.
Chapter 21
When I arrived at Tiffanie’s door she greeted me, unclad as usual, and gave me a tight embrace. Before asking where I had been the past few days she asked me to brace myself. She said, “I don’t know how to tell you this but we are both out of a job!” I tried to act surprised as she explained, “It’s a huge scandal I guess. I went to work and some federal agent stopped me and said that the place was closed – permanently.” She took my hand and, in a consoling manner, said, “I am sorry, but Nazir and his brothers are in trouble, and from what the agent guy said they are nowhere to be found.” I acted angry – angry like a girlfriend might become when abandoned by a boyfriend. She tried her best to comfort me. I then just blurted out, “The bastard just left and all he gave me was an infection!” It was the perfect way to inform Tiffanie that she needed to immediately see a doctor.
Then as we sat together on the couch I struggled with how to begin the process of integrating her into my life. I took her in my arms and began to kiss her passionately, and at first she relaxed and practically melted in my arms. Yet after a few minutes she pulled away, “Amber, we have to talk.” I froze, expecting the worse.
“Amber, I really love you …and you make me feel alive and happy, but…the trip I took to see my family…I spent time with my cousin and her baby, and…I am sorry.” She began to cry, but rather than embrace me she pulled back, “I really want babies and…that’s the problem, isn’t it?” I kind of knew where this was heading. She continued, “I think we need to be fair to ourselves and call it quits.” I immediately asked, “Tiffanie, you know, you can have your cake and eat it too. I read about a group marriage, I think in Eugene, where a woman had a husband and a wife. Each woman had children and they were happy.” She shook her head, “I am not some freaking Eugene hippie! I want a regular life, no damn sperm bank or sharing a husband. Please, I do love you, but this just can’t work. It’s me, not you – I am so sorry.”
My rational side took hold of me. I realized I was being dumped, and I really, really did not like it, but all in all maybe it was for the best. It seemed Tiffanie was not open to breaking with certain traditional societal norms after all, which was a pity; some people just cannot be open to new ways of seeing life, even if it would give them more happiness. I then asked, “Okay, I understand. Maybe you should get dressed then? You are just making it harder to say goodbye you know.” She mixed her crying with a little laughter and commented, “I did not say anything about that. I just said a long-term relationship was out of the question; if you are open to being friends with benefits perhaps?” She embraced me and we just sat there for what seemed like forever until finally, she leapt up and asked, “The infection…you just go on pills or something?” I said, “Yeah, I was going to start today.” At that she pulled me to the bedroom. Perhaps knowing that this was not going to last added a certain playfulness, a certain irresponsibility that I was not used to, and it felt fun – at least until afterwards, when I lay there holding her as she fell asleep and I felt a sense of sorrow that we would go our separate ways eventually. Maybe I actually appreciated her naïve innocence. She was uncomplicated and even believed me when I said the bandage covering my wound was the result of a doctor doing a biopsy of my ovary. Oh well, at least she wanted to live a life as a traditional wife and mother which I could not fault.
Later that evening we both woke up, laying on our backs and just talked like friends. She said, “I’m worried about running out of money in a coupl
e of months.” She was silent a moment and then sat up, with a certain level of girlish enthusiasm and said, “Hey Amber! I have an idea. My cousin with the baby is married to a guy in the Marines and is serving in Afghanistan. What would you say we check out a military recruiter tomorrow?” I sat up and asked, “A recruiter?” She replied, grabbing my hand, “Yes! It’s a good job and I think they will pay for your college education. I know you have a baby but they would certainly work around that – what is there not to love? You get pay, and benefits, and you serve your country fighting for freedom!” I shook my head, “If you want money why not go sell some eggs? You are healthy and smart and could make a lot of money.” She looked at me like I was some sort of alien, “Amber, how could someone sell a part of themselves? It would be strange knowing I had babies somewhere but would never meet them. Come on! Let’s go in tomorrow after we get the medicine.”
I asked what she would do if I chose not to and she said she would go in anyway. I had absolutely no desire to see this beautiful woman subject herself to a dangerous job, but I agreed to go in with her. Of course the next morning at the free clinic Tiffanie kept on about patriotism and the like – not something I felt at all motivated by. She obtained her prescription and drove down the street to a recruitment office. Upon entering a man greeted us and apologized that his female colleague was not in, but that he would give us all the information we needed. He had a good sales approach – try to find out who we were, where we were from, what our goals were and such, but unlike Tiffanie I sat there with my arms folded and refused to play the game. He sensed my antagonism right off and shifted his attention to Tiffanie, claiming he had signed up several young people from the Prineville area.
As he went on about benefits I interrupted, “So, what is your recruitment quota for this month?” He glared at me and asked, “Ma’am, I don’t understand.” I again asked, “I was just curious how many people you are required to sign up, that’s all.” He tried to evade the question by saying the military was all volunteer to which I asked, “Well, is it really one’s choice if you are unable to afford college and all our jobs are being shipped to China?” He replied, “I am not at liberty to comment on that ma’am.” I began to get frustrated and rolled my eyes, “Whatever!” and looked away. Tiffanie apologized and asked for information and that she would return. We all stood up and he extended his hand to which I shook it, even though I could see resentment in his eyes.
On the way out I asked Tiffanie, “Are you really serious about this? I can see if I can find you something somewhere, anywhere!” As we got in her pickup she snapped at me, “That man is serving his country and you jumped on his ass! That was not nice.” I looked out the window as we left the mall parking lot and replied, “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” She gently took my hand, “We all have to make sacrifices for freedom and democracy. Don’t worry Amber; women don’t fight on the front lines you know.” I asked, “So you are going to do it?” She nodded and smiled.
That day we hung out at her place, but it felt a bit awkward for some reason. I commented, “I need to go for a few days. I am not sure when I will be back but please give me your email and we can stay in touch in case you get sent to boot camp right off.” She gave me a hug and asked, “One more night?” I smiled and agreed to stay until the morning.
On Sunday I got up and gathered my things. Upon having everything together I approached Tiffany who was just waking up. I sat on the bed as she propped herself up. She gave me a hug and tearfully whispered in my ear, “Will you keep in touch?” I sighed, “Yeah, I promise.” We embraced and gave each other a passionate kiss.” She pulled back, “This is not making it easy but…no. I’ve made up my mind. Just remember though, I will always love you.” As I stood she asked if she should get dressed and see me off. I shook my head, “Let’s remember this moment as it is.” That is when we parted.
I started the engine and drove away from this chapter in my life. While I wanted to go to the mountains I instead decided I should leave town and find a beauty parlor and return to the original me. I stopped Katja’s apartment and looked for clothes to change into. For some reason I chose to put on a pair of denim cut offs and a sheer tank top, one that covered my wound of course. I laughed to myself and said, “So I wonder how Shane would like this style.” as I reached behind my back, unfastened and removed my bra. Deciding to be daring, maybe to play one last time with the life I was leaving, I grabbed my purse and headed out – to Eugene. On the way there I called around and found a salon that would remove the extensions as well as dye my hair to its original color. I figured then I would call Matt and Nicole.
It felt strange, after visiting the salon I was transformed from stripper girl Amber to the real Melanie Lindberg. I made a quick stop to a tattoo parlor and asked if they could wash out what was left of the fake tattoo. Of course, the woman there asked if I might like to make some permanent additions, but I declined, somewhat reluctantly I might add. And while it was early afternoon I took a detour to the hot springs for some meditation; I needed to sort out things in my head before calling Matt and Nicole and at least this far south I was not all that worried that someone might recognize me.
Late in the evening I returned to Katja’s apartment and sent an email to Shane suggesting we meet at a pizza place at Lancaster Mall at noon. I then waited a few minutes and called Nicole and Matt – and while I felt nervous about new developments in our lives I was anxious to see them again.
Matt answered. When I told him the case had been solved he was overjoyed. He asked how everything had been accomplished and I said that I had made contact with a Mormon federal agent. He then laughed and asked, “Did you have anything to do with this?” He held up a letter and he explained, “I received this as an urgent mail – it seems the idiots who were going to charge me for terrorism have taken the time to write me a long, personal apology and all charges have been dropped.” I smiled, realizing that Shane had indeed been able to get results. I looked at Matt and asked, “How fast can you book a ticket and get back here?” He said he would get right on it, and also informed me that the insurance claim had been approved and we would have the money for another house in a matter of days.
I informed him that I was indeed going to run for office and he congratulated me. He rolled his eyes and sat back though. I asked what was bothering him and he said, “Well my dear, when I return to work it will be full time in Portland. If you are in Washington, D.C. we won’t see each other that much.” I looked at him longingly and said, “Congressmen get long recesses and generous travel allowances. We will see each other a lot. Besides, you will have Nicole to keep you company.” He laughed, “Well, you better talk to her about that. The poor girl has been running franticly to keep up with the children.” I asked if I could talk with her but he said she wanted to wait to see me in person and give me a huge surprise. I asked what, but he said it was a secret. I asked, “Is she pregnant?” but he just laughed and said, “You will know soon enough.”
When we ended our conversation I sat back on Katja’s couch and wondered how I would inform him of the new addition to the family. Of course, if I did get elected I would spend a lot of time in Washington, D.C. and maybe I could keep her my little secret. Something did not seem right about that though. I grabbed some ice cream out of the freezer and curled up on the couch to watch a movie, and then I noticed I had received an email. The family would be coming home on Friday! This would be a tightly scheduled week to be sure.
I got an early start the next day – hitting the mall and finding a new business-style outfit; the kind one would expect a woman to wear in a boardroom, but a little less conservative than I had worn for the Republican luncheon. It is strange how one’s attire can affect them psychologically. It was as if I took on a totally different persona as I put my “Amber outfit” in a bag and left the store with my new appearance. I browsed various stores, anxiously awaiting my meeting with destiny. Finally, the time was close so I headed to the pavilio
n.
Shane was already there, sitting behind a small laptop. He stood, pulled out a chair and invited me to sit. He lost no time making a joke, “Well, well, well…how professional-looking – certainly more formal than I am used to seeing you.” I gave him a smirk and pretended to start unbuttoning my blouse, “If you like I can take everything off!” Strangely enough it did not faze him as he smiled and replied, “Nah, too big an audience.”
He then inquired, “So it’s on, right – the campaign?” I nodded and said, “You bet!” He smiled and turned the laptop around. Before me was a bank page with my name, my legislative office address and even my social security number – I did not even bother to ask how he obtained that. I glanced down at the balance – three hundred and fifty thousand dollars! I was speechless as he asked, “Everything seem in order? I thought this would serve a better purpose getting your campaign started than going off to finance Chechen rebels.” I smiled and thanked him.
Descent Into Darkness Page 34