Father chuckled. “I suspect you’ll get used to it.”
“I suppose one can get used to anything,” Robert said wryly. “I need to leave for a meeting in the village shortly, and I do apologize for that, but it can’t be helped.”
Father nodded in a sage manner, as one man understanding the responsibilities of another.
“Until then,” Robert continued, “if you wish, I’d be happy to show you some of the changes and improvements Alexandra has made on the estate.”
“Excellent.” Father nodded.
“May I join you?” Aunt Viv asked. “I haven’t been to Nimway in ages, and I, too, would like to see what you’ve accomplished. Besides, I’m certain Alex and Georgia have a great deal to discuss.”
“It would be our pleasure.” Robert cast her aunt a genuine smile. It was oddly annoying. He nodded at Mother and Alex. “Mrs. Hayden, Alexandra.”
Robert escorted Father and Aunt Viv out the door. Alex sighed. He hadn’t called her Alex since the night the manor had burned.
“I didn’t want to say anything in front of your father, although I suspected he noticed just as I did.” Mother studied her closely. “You look dreadful, dear. How have you been sleeping?”
“Well enough.” Alex shrugged. Her nights were as restless as her thoughts. Apparently, she couldn’t sleep without her husband in her bed. And when she did sleep, she no longer dreamed of Robert. That was the most distressing thing of all.
Mother eyed her knowingly. “Problems already?”
“There have been some … adjustments.” Alex forced a smile. “I imagine that’s true in any marriage.”
“Good Lord, yes.”
Alex drew a deep breath. “Aunt Viv was right—we have a great deal to talk about.”
Mother smiled. “I thought we might.”
For the first time since Mother had given up guardianship and visited Nimway, she and Father were not staying in the master suite. The master suite was, after all, for the guardian and her husband. Alex hadn’t given it a second thought until her parents’ arrival. Now it struck her as deeply symbolic, the passing of generations, as it were. The fact that her husband hadn’t joined her in her bed for two endless weeks made it all the more poignant.
After Mother had settled in the blue bedroom in the west wing, she joined Alex in the small upstairs parlor for tea.
“I assume you wish to tell me how you came to be married to an American viscount,” Mother said pleasantly as if she were asking about nothing of any particular significance. “And the owner of the estate next to ours as well.”
“It’s a long story.” Alex grimaced.
“I have a great deal of time.”
“Some of it is rather … awkward.”
“The most interesting stories usually are.”
“I’m not sure I would call it interesting.” Alex braced herself. “I’ve made some mistakes.”
“All of us have, dear.” Mother sipped her tea. “Perhaps you’d like to start at the beginning.”
“I’d rather not,” Alex said under her breath. “But I suppose I must.” She gathered her thoughts. “It actually all began with Brynmore.”
As quickly and as succinctly as possible, Alex told her mother about Julian. Mother had been aware of the engagement, but now Alex revealed that he’d swindled her out of Nimway’s reserves. She described how everything at Nimway had gone downhill after that and confessed she’d spent her dowry to assist the tenants and even then had been compelled to take out loans. She related how one day, a tall, handsome American appeared and took up residence in return for a sizable fee. And finally, she explained how she and Robert came to be married and why they were now at odds. All the while, Mother’s serene expression never faltered.
“My, that is a long story,” Mother said and sipped her tea.
“I’ve been a terrible guardian.”
“Have you?”
“Well, of course.” Surely her mother of all people understood this. “I lost all of Nimway’s funds.”
“In an effort to purchase Brynmore, which would only have made the estate stronger in the long run.”
“Nonetheless, the magic—well, most of it, anyway—is gone, and it’s entirely my fault.”
“Oh, I doubt that. Nimway’s magic is like the sun and the stars. It’s natural and eternal. There are times when the clouds obscure the heavens, but the sun and the stars are always there.”
“Well, then, why didn’t the magic step up and help when I needed help?” Alex’s tone was a bit sharper than she’d intended.
“I don’t know,” Mother said simply. “One would think it would appear when needed, but I don’t think it works that way. At least, it never has as far as I know. Are those Mrs. Lamb’s ginger butter biscuits?” Mother’s eyes lit with delight. She selected one of the biscuits and took a bite. A small moan of appreciation slipped from her lips. “Oh my, that is delicious. These have always been my favorite.”
“I think that’s why she made them.”
“They are just as I remember.” Mother’s expression was nothing short of blissful. She took another bite. “There is nothing on earth like Mrs. Lamb’s ginger butter biscuits. Oh, and I knew Mr. Shaw absconded with Nimway’s money, by the way.”
Alex’s stomach dropped. So much for secrecy. She narrowed her eyes. “Did Aunt Viv tell you?”
“Contrary to popular opinion, my sister is excellent at keeping secrets. Unless I asked her directly, Viviane would never reveal anything you asked her to keep private. It’s her own personal code of honor.” She popped the rest of the biscuit in her mouth. “I’ve always found it annoying.”
Alex stared. “Then how did you know?”
“I have my ways,” Mother said with that unruffled smile that was either reassuring or maddening—depending on the topic.
“You never said anything.”
“Should I have?” Mother refilled her teacup. “What would you have had me say, dear?”
“I don’t know.” Alex frowned. It was astonishing that Mother had known all about Julian and had never said a word. “Something.”
“Would you have preferred that I chastise you? Condemn you for your mistakes?” Mother added sugar to her tea. “Remove you as guardian? Something of that nature?”
“No, of course not,” she lied. Although she had expected exactly that. Or at the very least, a certain amount of admonishment. That her mother had known about Julian and hadn’t said a word was something of a relief as well as a bit confusing. “But I don’t understand.”
“When I turned the guardianship over to you, it was because you were ready. You had proved you were up to the responsibility. You were, my dear girl, an adult. Adults make their own decisions and their own mistakes. And they correct them. As you have done.”
Alex had no idea what to say.
“Certainly, I would have provided assistance if you had seen fit to inform me about Mr. Shaw and the reserve fund.” Mother cast her the chastising look Alex had long expected. “But you did not. You managed everything on your own. I’m quite proud of you.”
“Julian returned the money,” Alex blurted. “Two weeks ago. If he had done so sooner, it wouldn’t have been necessary to marry Robert.”
“And do you regret marrying Robert?”
Did she? She hadn’t really thought about it. Perhaps because she had no doubt about the answer. “No.” She shook her head. “Not for a minute. I’m not even sure I regret the convoluted path that brought us together.”
“Because you love him.”
“I …” Alex swallowed hard then nodded. “How did you know?”
“I thought it was fairly obvious when I saw the two of you together.” Mother selected another biscuit. “And obvious as well that there is some sort of problem at the moment.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Is it insurmountable?”
“I really don’t know. He says he loves me, but I haven’t confessed my own feelings.” Alex heaved
a heartfelt sigh. “This was supposed to be a union of benefit for both parties. We even likened it to a business merger. A marriage of convenience. But even before …” She paused to gather her words. It was hard enough to say this to her aunt let alone her mother. “I’d been having dreams about him. From the first day we met, I could hardly take a nap without him making an appearance. Dreams that became more and more, well, intense.”
Mother’s brow rose. “Intense?”
“Dear Lord, yes. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was having the same kind of dreams.”
“How very interesting.”
“Or very …” Alex wrinkled her nose. “Magical. Nimway magic.”
“Nimway magic?” Mother’s brow furrowed. “As in a spell or enchantment?”
“Something of that sort.”
“Nonsense.” Mother scoffed. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“It just seemed entirely too much of a coincidence that we’d both be having similar dreams.”
“So you think Nimway picked out a wealthy American, a man conveniently owning adjoining property that he was unaware of until recently, a man with a title no less who does seem an absolutely perfect match, and seduced him while he slept into fancying himself in love with you?”
“It does sound absurd when you say it that way.”
“It is absurd.” Mother thought for a moment. “It’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility, I suppose. Odder things have happened, but Nimway magic is usually more subtle.”
Alex shook her head. “I don’t want his feelings to be nothing more than some sort of spell. I don’t want magic. I want love.”
“Goodness, my sweet girl, there’s no reason why it can’t be both.” She considered her daughter for a moment. “Have you ever wondered why your previous engagements were dismal failures?”
“Poor decisions, I would suspect.”
“Or might it perhaps be the influence of something beyond our understanding? Neither Philip nor George nor Julian were right for you, were they?”
Alex sighed. “No.”
“And would you have been happy had you gone through with marriage to any of them?”
“Probably not,” Alex admitted.
Mother’s brow rose.
“No, of course not.”
“Did you love them?”
“I thought I did at the time, but …” She shook her head. “No.”
“And therefore something—call it coincidence or fate or luck or Nimway—stopped you from marrying any of them. Answer me this—do you truly love Robert?”
“I can’t imagine my life without him. This isn’t like the others. He makes my heart ache. And soar,” she said quietly then met her mother’s gaze. “What if he only loves me because of the influence of Nimway? What if he is under some sort of spell? You admitted it’s a possibility.”
“Anything in this life is possible, but not everything is probable.” She waved off the comment. “Aside from the fact that I have never heard of Nimway enchanting anyone to fall in love, it goes against everything we know about the love between Nimue and Merlin. You’ve read all the histories and family diaries. Have you read anything about love spells cast by Nimway?”
“Well, no, but—”
“And even if that were possible, why would Nimway make the wrong man fall in love with you? If Nimway was behind your dreams, it’s only because Robert is the right man.”
“But the orb—”
“Have you seen the orb?”
“No.” She raised her chin. “I didn’t think it necessary.”
“Then there you have it.” Mother shrugged. “The orb encourages true love. Or pushes together two people who should be together. Or confirms love. It appears when it’s needed. It seems to me, you haven’t needed it.”
“But—”
“Even Nimway can’t make someone love you who isn’t inclined to do so. Dreams such as the ones you’ve experienced might encourage a man toward lust.” Mother smiled in that knowing manner she had. “But love is another matter entirely.”
“Do you really think so?”
“There isn’t a doubt in my mind.”
“Still …”
“Perhaps what you need is a little faith in those things that have nothing to do with legendary magic and everything to do with magic of the heart.”
“I need to tell him how I feel.” Why hadn’t she realized this before? Alex straightened in her chair. “I need to tell him at once.”
“You do still have one problem to attend to.” Mother broke off a piece of biscuit and popped it into her mouth. “He thinks Nimway means more to you than he ever will.” She met Alex’s gaze firmly. “Does it?”
“Nimway is in my blood, in my soul, as it’s in yours.”
“As it always will be. But if you had to choose …” Mother’s words were measured and fraught with importance. “Between Nimway and Robert, which would you choose?”
“That’s not a fair question.”
“Life, my dear child, is rarely fair.”
“Did you ever have to make such a choice?”
“No, but I could have. Without hesitation, without doubt, I would choose your father.” Mother smiled. “Nimway would have it no other way.”
Chapter 18
Alex spotted Robert going into the library. This was her chance to finally have a moment alone with him. Yet another conversation that wasn’t going to be easy. She raised her chin. Best to get it over with.
Robert had already left for the village by the time she’d finished talking to her mother yesterday, and he had sent his apologies to her family last night for missing dinner, claiming he was unavoidably detained by pressing business matters. Alex hadn’t seen so much as a glimpse of him today. All day and well into the afternoon, she, Mother, and Aunt Viv, along with Mrs. Hogarth, had been consumed with last-minute details for tonight’s ball. Aunt Viv had a long list of items compiled by the social secretary noting relatively minor things that still needed to be done. There hadn’t been a ball at Nimway in some time, and everyone wanted it to be a rousing success. From the kitchen to the gardens, excitement and anticipation pulsed in the very air around them. Even so, Alex’s mind was anywhere but here.
Through the long hours of the night, she rehearsed over and over exactly what she wanted—needed—to say to Robert, but the thought continued to plague her. Would it be enough? Late in the afternoon, she decided she couldn’t wait any longer. Pearson wasn’t sure if his lordship was in the village or at Brynmore. She was betting he was at what was left of the manor. She had just enough time to ride to Brynmore, tell Robert what she had to say, and return before she needed to get ready for tonight’s ball. Father insisted on accompanying her, which wasn’t at all what she had in mind but would have to do. As it happened, her concern was pointless. Robert was not at Brynmore, and it was too late to go to the village. She’d been to Brynmore only once since the fire, but the sight of what was left of Robert’s legacy was as shocking today as it had been when she’d first visited. Perhaps, as Robert had spent so much of his money on restoring Nimway, the funds Julian had returned to her should be put toward Brynmore. It was a brilliant idea. After all, they were partners, or at least, they were supposed to be.
Alex considered whether or not to knock on the library doors but decided against it. She gathered her courage, opened the doors, and swept into the room.
Robert stood paging through a book he had apparently pulled off the shelf in front of him, judging from the gap in the row of well-worn volumes, mostly histories of some sort. His hair had been neatly trimmed, no doubt in preparation for tonight’s ball. He had a tendency to forget that sort of thing, and his hair was always just a bit shaggy. She’d never seen that suit on him before—it struck her as rather more elegant than his usual attire.
“Robert,” she said firmly and closed the door behind her. “We cannot go on this way, and I, for one, have no desire to do so.” She drew a deep breath. “It’s time w
e talked, past time, really. It’s been two weeks, after all.”
“I’m not—”
She thrust out her hand to stop him. “I know what you’re going to say. I know you’re probably not interested in discussing this now, with the ball about to begin and my family here. My parents do approve of you, by the way. Father is still a bit miffed about that permission-to-wed oversight on your part but not considerably. He told me this afternoon that you struck him as a good sort. And your finances are in order, and there is your title to consider. All in all, you’ve made an excellent impression.”
He stared at her. “Good?”
“It is one less thing to worry about.”
“I wasn’t worried,” he said slowly, replacing the book on the shelf.
“No, of course not. I don’t believe you ever worry. I did, although not substantially.” She moved closer and twisted her hands together. “You are rather wonderful for the most part.”
“Thank you.”
“And …” She squared her shoulders and met his gaze directly. “I love you. Madly and deeply and for the rest of my days. I should have told you sooner, but I was concerned that your feelings for me weren’t quite real.”
“Alexandra, I—”
“No, Robert, please. I need to finish this while I still have the courage to do so.” She pulled in a calming breath. “I was concerned the, well, passionate dreams you were having—the dreams we both had, of you and I together—were Nimway’s way of pushing us toward one another. And that the feelings you professed for me were the result of some sort of spell or enchantment. The result of Nimway magic.”
His brow rose, and she noted a small scar just above his left eyebrow. Odd, she hadn’t noticed it before. Of course, his hair usually flopped over his forehead. “Magic? Are you serious?”
“Yes, of course I’m serious.” That was not at all what she’d expected. It really wasn’t like him. “Yes, I know I said it was gone, and I did think it had vanished. I’m still not sure that it hasn’t, but it doesn’t really matter.” She paused to catch her breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I know, and I should have known all along, that Nimway can’t make anyone fall in love if they are not already disposed to do so. It’s simply not the way Nimway—it’s not the way love—works. I understand that now, and I never should have thought otherwise.”
THE LEGEND OF NIMWAY HALL: 1888 - ALEXANDRA Page 20