by J. L. Beck
He knows now, and the sound of his disgust is something I’ll never be able to forget.
5
Lex
I’ve slept in a lot of shitty fucking places, but sleeping on my couch last night was one of the worst. Waking with a headache, my skull hurts with every little movement, and there is a distinct pressure behind my eyes, that pounds with every beat of my heart. There’s also a kink in my neck that only adds to the joyous pain.
Sitting up, the events from last night come rushing back. I spent the majority of the night trying to make sense of what I saw. The images of her bruised and scarred back will forever be etched into my mind.
Who the fuck would hurt her?
I can’t fathom why anyone would ever want to lay a hand on her. Then again, those marks weren’t from someone’s hand, they were from a belt or cane. Someone used a damn object to beat the shit out of her, and I want to know who they are. I want to get my hands on them, so I can deliver a similar punishment.
Pushing off the couch, I groan and stretch my arms above my head. Part of me wanted to kick down the fucking door to my bedroom and tell her everything was going to be okay. The tears in her eyes broke my heart, but I knew deep down she needed to be alone. Me going in there and forcing her to talk wasn’t going to do me any good.
Now I understand why she flinched every time I moved. I understand why she was so cautious and assumed I was a bad man who was going to hurt her. All the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, and I didn’t like the image that I saw, not one fucking bit.
As I make my morning coffee, my thoughts shift between Jude, and the shit with Roman last night. There is more than one thing that I need to protect her from now. I don’t even know what I’m going against when it comes to Roman and Ivan.
The mob? That’s some fucked-up shit. Then again, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Luke and Roman are big fuckers, and not someone I would consider crossing, and I’m not saying that just because they’re my friends.
Cracking some eggs into a bowl, I scramble them up and pour them into a hot pan. As I push the eggs around in the pan, I recall a time when Damon Rossi showed up at the gym, dropping off a huge stack of cash.
He seemed more than a little on edge that day and was dressed in a three-piece suit. He looked completely out of place in the gym. Still, that’s not really a reason to assume that Roman and Ivan are working with the Rossi family.
Getting two plates out, I turn the burner off and dish up the eggs and sprinkle some cheese on top. I pop two pieces of toast into the toaster just as Jude comes walking into the kitchen. She’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but even as I stare at her clothed body, all I see is the marks on her back.
Her gaze is cast to the floor as she takes a stool at the breakfast nook.
“I made you breakfast,” I tell her, and grab the toast from the toaster, slathering it with some butter before placing it on her plate. I bring the plate over to her and then take the seat across from her.
She looks up at me finally, and I see how swollen her eyes are. I’ll bet she’s been crying all night, which makes me feel like an asshole for not at least trying to check on her.
“Thank you,” she mumbles, stabbing a piece of egg with the fork.
Her hand shakes as she brings the food to her pink lips. I don’t want to bring last night up, but there isn’t any way around it. I’m not going to let her leave here without her knowing that I’m going to do whatever I have to, to protect her.
“About last night…” I roll my shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension out of my muscles.
“What about it?”
“The marks on your back. I’m going to figure out who hurt you, and I’m going to protect you from whoever did that to you.”
Jude doesn’t even look at me as she speaks, “I don’t want your pity, Lex, and I don’t want you getting into trouble because of me.”
“I won’t get in trouble, and I don’t pity you, Jude. In fact, I feel the opposite. I can’t imagine how strong you’ve had to be or how you’ve carried all this pain on your own.”
“You don’t have to pretend like you care. I know you’re disgusted, and I don’t blame you. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, but don’t lie to me with comforting words in an attempt to make me feel better. I heard your disgust last night.”
Confusion gives way to anger as it dawns on me what she’s saying.
“You think I’m disgusted by you because of the marks on your back?” I ask, even though, I know for a fact that’s what she is saying. I just need her to verify for me, so I can make my intent clear to her.
Jude lifts her chin and looks me straight in the eyes. The vulnerability in the depths of those blues is earth-shattering and rattles me to the core. I’ve never felt so drawn to someone before, felt the deep need to protect them with my life. Being around her is drawing out my protective instincts, making me want to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.
“I don’t think. I know.”
“You don’t know anything,” I growl. “When I saw those marks on your back, something broke inside of me. I promised to protect you before, told you if you needed anything, I would be there for you. Now I’m no longer telling you. I’m doing. I’m going to protect you, from everyone and everything that scares you. No one will ever hurt you again.” The words flow out my mouth so fluidly, like a well-prepared speech.
“I…” Jude’s cheeks turn pink, and she looks down at the eggs again like they have the answers to all her problems.
I won’t push her, won’t make her agree, or accept my protection, but I’m not letting her slip away, even if it is a little bit of a selfish need that I have.
“I… I need to get to classes,” Jude finishes her sentence, a second later.
“Shit, yeah, okay.” I shove from the table. “Let me change my clothes, and I’ll drive you to campus.”
“Okay,” she murmurs, and I long to see her smile, to see her happy and content like she was the night we met.
Once in my bedroom, I change out of my clothes and into a fresh pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I look to the bed and find that it’s been made. The shirt and boxers she wore last night sit at the edge of the bed, folded in a neat pile.
The fact that she went the extra mile to make the bed shocks me for some reason.
Reappearing in the foyer, I grab a ball cap hanging from a hook and walk into the living room to grab my keys and wallet. Jude meets me by the door, and we walk out to my truck in silence. The drive to campus seems to go at a snail’s pace, and though I want to talk more to Jude, and get her to open up to me, I don’t want to push her either.
“You can drop me off over here,” she says to me as I bring the car to a rolling stop at the curb. Placing the car in park, my lips part as I prepare to tell her I’ll be here to pick her up at the end of the day, but she’s already slipping out of the truck and closing the door before I can.
I slam my hand against the steering wheel, watching her walk away.
Everything inside of me says to get out of the car and follow her, but I know better. Not only would that be uncalled for, but it would definitely push her away. Throwing the truck back into drive, I end up going to the administration building.
Walking in, I bypass the lady at the front desk and head straight to my brother’s office. I don’t bother knocking, and instead, turn the knob and walk inside.
Sebastian looks up from some papers on his desk, a grin tipping at the side of his lips.
“Hey, brother,” I greet, slamming down onto the sofa.
“If you knew the shit that went down on that thing, I doubt you’d be sitting there,” he says, gesturing toward the couch. I just shrug.
“I’m fine without knowing what you and Lily have done here… or anywhere for that matter.”
Sebastian grins and sets his pen down on the desk. “What’s going on, Lex?” The way he says my name and questions me, makes me feel like he’s
more like a father than my younger brother. He’s always been like this, even though I’m a year older, he always acted like I was his little brother. You could say he’s always been the mature one, and honestly, I’m fine with that. It occurs to me then that if anyone was to know something about Jude, it would be my brother.
“Question,” I blurt, “can you give me some information on a student?”
Seb’s gaze narrows. “The official Dean answer is, of course, no. The unofficial brotherly answer is, that depends on who the student is and why you want the information?”
“Her name is Jude. I don’t know her last name, she’s told me she is twenty-one, but she is probably nineteen. Light blonde hair, blue eyes.”
“Shy, a little jumpy?” Seb adds, his dark brows furrowing.
“Yeah.” I bounce my leg up and down.
Something clicks inside my brother’s head, and his gaze becomes penetrating. “Leave her alone. She just enrolled and is here on an academic scholarship. Her grades are essential, and we both know schooling isn’t important to you.”
“That’s fucking rude,” I scoff. “You’re acting like simply because I ask about her that I’m going to fuck up her chance of going to school here.”
Seb shakes his head, remorse bleeding into his russet brown eyes. “Look, I’m sorry. That’s not what I mean. I just don’t want her chances of going here being ruined. She was very excited to be accepted into the school, and if I’m being honest, she’s a little naive. Given the chance, you’d have her eating out of the palm of your hand. Just find someone else for a good time, okay?”
Sex. He thinks this is about sex? I force my hand to remain flat against the couch, instead of forming it into a fist like I want to.
“That’s not what this is about.”
“Then tell me what it’s about because it sounds like it is. What do you expect me to think? You randomly show up here asking about a girl when I know you aren’t interested in anything serious. I can’t even remember the last time you were interested in something more than a hookup.”
Never. That’s not true, though, is it? I’d be interested in something serious, but only with Jude, though, I’m not going to tell my brother that.
“Nevermind, it’s not a big deal. I just wanted to know if you knew anything. Clearly, you don’t, so I’m going to go.”
He leans back in his chair, eyeing me with caution like I might blow up or something. “You’re almost as bad as Remington, only calling when he needs something.”
“That’s right, little brother, gotta use your job to our benefit.” I grin, getting up from the couch and walking over to the door. “I’ll see you for dinner on Sunday.”
“Sure, sure.” Seb cracks his knuckles and sinks deeper into his chair. It’s strange how well put together he looks. Slicked back hair, perfect suit that doesn’t even have a wrinkle in it. He’s happily married and has an adorable little girl named Maggie. He’s going places while I’m standing in the same spot. Same with my brother, Remington. Both of my younger brothers are doing something with their lives, and I’m working at the Iron Fist.
“Don’t work too hard,” I taunt from the door, pushing the sour thoughts away.
“I won’t.” He grins, plucking the pen up off the desk and getting back to work.
Walking out the door, I close it quietly behind me. Sighing, I realize I need to find something else to do. I’m not leaving here without Jude. I made her a promise, and I’m going to keep it, even if she so clearly doesn’t want me to.
6
Jude
I spend all three classes trying to concentrate enough to at least take notes for later. I knew as soon as we pulled up, that nothing the professors said today would sink into my brain. My thoughts are too jumbled, my mind overloaded with everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.
After my last class for the day is dismissed, I gather up my stuff and head out, I have every intention of hiding out in the library for the rest of the day. But when I step out of the classroom, I immediately find Lex leaning against the wall. He’s gorgeous, of course, and gathers the attention of a group of girls who skirt by him.
“You can’t be here. You’re not a student,” I say extra loudly, hoping someone else will hear. Lex isn’t old per se, he’s handsome in a much more mature way than most of the guys I’ve seen here.
Completely unaffected by my statement, Lex smiles, showing off his dazzling smile. “My brother is the dean of this school. I think it’s okay for me to be here.”
Well, crap.
“Fine, be here, but leave me alone. I have studying I need to do.” I try to walk past him, but he reaches out and grabs my wrist, tugging me forward, causing me to bump into his chest. I hate how close we are and how the heat of his body rushes into mine, and how my stupid treacherous heart beats a little faster at his touch. I wonder if he feels my pulse at my wrist.
“You can study at my place.” That thick voice of his is low, and it makes my belly feel all kinds of funny.
“I’m not coming with you. I’m going home.” I raise my chin and steel my spine. I won’t be pushed around. I took orders for years, cooked and cleaned, and became a slave to a man. I won’t be a slave for anyone ever again.
Lex looks only a smidge annoyed. “We talked about this already, you need to stay with me, so I can keep you safe.”
I blink up at him. “I can keep myself safe.”
“You can’t. The scars on your back prove that.”
That was a low blow.
Remorse flicks across his face as soon as he says the words, and he opens his mouth again, probably to apologize, but I don’t want his lame apology.
“I hate you. You know nothing.” I try to tug my wrist out of his hold, but he just grips it harder, not bruising but restricting.
Leaning forward, he speaks right into my face. “You’re right, I don’t know anything, but only because you won’t tell me.”
His woodsy scent surrounds me, and I do my best to pretend it doesn’t affect me. Who knows what would happen if he knew how much his presence knocked me off my axis?
I lower my head, finding a spot on the sidewalk to look at. I don’t want to see his green eyes. I don’t want him to look straight through me and see what I don’t want to tell him.
Why can’t he just let this go? For a moment, I think about what my options are. I could go to campus security, but I doubt they would do anything since he’s the dean’s brother.
My other option is to go with him until he is tired of trying to help me. He can’t possibly stay interested in me for much longer. We only had sex the one time, and I doubt some promise made in the dark can live through the light. He’s proven that he doesn’t intend to hurt me, but that doesn’t mean I should trust him.
“I need to go to the dorms and pick up some stuff,” I finally say, knowing he won’t stop until I agree.
“We can do that.”
I start walking toward the dorms, trying to ignore Lex, who is walking beside me, the best I can, but it’s really hard when he is twice my size, and everyone that passes by gawks at us.
“It’s an all-female dorm, you can’t come up,” I lie.
Of course, he could come in, and judging by the grin on his face, he knows it too.
“I’ll wait down here for you then,” he agrees, letting me have this small victory.
Rushing upstairs, I almost fall over my own feet as I take the steps two at a time. I don’t know why I’m even in a hurry. I should take all the time in the world, make him wait. Slowing down, I stroll down the hallway until I’m at my room.
Just before I unlock it, I swear I could hear someone talking inside, but that can’t be since I don’t have a roommate. Shaking my head, I turn the key and push the door open.
“Eeeeee!” A shriek so loud it hurts my eardrum, pierces through the air, making me drop the key so I can cover my ears with my hands. The noise comes from a girl standing in the center of my room. She, herself, d
ropped a stack of papers she was holding in her hand before clutching her chest like she is in the middle of a cardiac arrest.
For a long moment, we just stand there staring at each other with wide eyes, trying to catch our breath. The unknown girl looks even more scared than I am, which tells me I’m not in any danger here. Still, I would like to know why she is in my locked room.
“Hi, you must be, Jude. I’m Blair,” she introduces herself. “Your new roommate,” she adds, helping me figure out what’s going on.
Roommate?
“Oh…” Only then do I take a look around my room… our room, I guess. I find the side that had been empty before, filled with stuff. The bare mattress now has a light blue comforter, the white walls are now covered in pictures and posters, and the once vacant desk now seems to be occupied.
“Oh,” I repeat. “Good, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. They told me the dorms didn’t fill up this semester, so I would be on my own.”
“Yeah, I’m starting classes late. I’m sorry I scared you, well, scared us both.” She giggles, using her index finger to push her black glasses up onto her nose. I do my best not to stare or drag my gaze over her. Blair is petite, as short as me, her hair a fiery red, her eyes green, which stand out starkly against her almost albino complexion. She’s pretty in an effortless way, and I’m a little jealous of that.
“It’s okay. Not your fault.” I pick up my key and then help her pick up the papers she dropped.
“I have to make up for the work I missed the first two weeks of classes. That was the only way I could still get in,” she explains.