by Beth Byers
Vi’s mouth twisted and she glanced away.
“Beatrice would be able to tell her family that she was an important businesswoman rather than a secretary. You and I both know she actually likes those meetings.”
“She’s nicer than me, too,” Violet admitted. “I might have scoffed during the last one and then laid my head on the table. Beatrice stepped in and started with, ‘What she means is—’”
Jack laughed, but he kept her from looking away when the guilt struck her. Aunt Agatha had trusted Violet with what she’d built.
“This wasn’t supposed to be about me,” Violet told him. “Are you happy?”
“Violet, you make me happy,” Jack told her and then answered by kissing her thoroughly until Ham returned.
“This is my office,” Ham replied as he came back in. “Go home if you’re going to be doing that.”
Violet grinned at Ham. “We were just discussing wisdom from Lila and Denny.”
Ham snorted. He glanced at them and muttered, “I don’t want to hear it. I’m not stopping. I like snorting sarcastically.”
Vi grinned evilly. “Rita said the same. Maybe you two really are meant for each other.”
“Stay out of it,” Ham told Violet flatly. “You’re basically a sister to me, Vi, which means I will strangle you almost to death but not quite.”
“It’s like Rita and I are naughtier together,” Violet told him. “Like we’ve planned something you’re going to hate and intend to meddle more.”
Vi grinned at him, winked, ruffled Jack’s hair just to hear him curse, and left.
She hurried down the hall of Scotland Yard and noticed the streak of desks for the constables who assisted Ham’s detectives. There was one fellow who had a bandage about his head.
“Landy?” Violet called.
He turned her way. Violet dodged through the fleet of desks and took a seat nearby Landy. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit on the head with a large branch.”
“But you lived,” Violet told him. “Congratulations. Well done.”
He didn’t seem amused. She hadn’t intended to be condescending, but she thought she might have been all the same.
“Did you see anything?”
“Mrs. Wakefield,” Landy told her precisely. “I am not one of your father’s servants, and you are not a constable. What I saw and what I know belongs to the Yard.”
Violet grinned cheerily at him. She rose, patting his desk. “You’ve wasted my time, Landy. I won’t forget,” she teased, winking at him to make him scoff towards her, but she noted the blushing in his ears. Vi really preferred constables who were persuaded by her charms.
She crossed the fleet room and then stood in the doorway and announced, knowing her voice would carry, “One thousand pounds to the constable who discovers who filled Jack’s auto with horse feces.”
Jack snapped, “Vi!” She heard the laugh in his voice and she grinned over her shoulder at him. “Cheers, darling.”
Violet’s laugh was drowned out by the clamor of detectives asking Jack if his auto had really been filled with feces. She ran out to the reception desk of Scotland Yard and put both hands on the desk of Officer Kite.
“Hullo,” she said merrily to him. She decided to acknowledge the issues that Landy had with her. “I know I’m not a constable, but you are, Officer Kite.”
“I am,” he said warily.
“What would you say to helping me find the blokes who are harassing Jack Wakefield?”
He grinned at her. “It has nothing to do with them harassing you?”
“Jack’s brand new auto was filled with horse feces. Did you know he loves it?”
The constable burst into laughter, winced, and then laughed some more. “I did know.” He cleared his throat and attempted a smoothed expression.
“It is funny or it will be when it’s all over,” Violet told him when he caught her gaze and blushed deeply. “You know what else is funny? Rewards you get for listening to me when Officer Landy refuses to even talk to me.” Not quite a bribe, Vi was laying out rewards for anyone who would lead her to the prankster. She wasn’t bribing so much as not leaving the constables out. Surely bribing meant trying to get out of a crime you’d committed rather than trying to help find a criminal.
“Landy’s a bit of a by-the-book fellow,” Officer Kite told Vi. “I’m a little more flexible.”
“Especially when there are rewards involved,” Vi suggested. He winked and she told him, “I do like you.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.”
“I’d prefer an ear leaned towards the shadier, imaginative fellows who come past your desk. I bet you know more than they realize about them. If any of them help out, they’re included in the reward. There’s a wide open reward for anyone who can help us track down this person harassing Jack and me and victimizing Jack’s poor auto.”
He nodded and then leaned forward as he whispered, “How did he take it?”
“Like a man having a tantrum. It was a bit familiar. He may have been imitating me, spoiled woman that I am.”
Officer Kite grinned and leaned back with a satisfied expression. “It’s nice to know he isn’t perfect all the time.”
“He isn’t perfect all the time,” Violet told the constable. She reached out and tapped his desk.
Violet borrowed one of the Scotland Yard’s telephones and sent everyone to Kate and Victor’s house. She made her way to the house herself, pausing outside of her own home for a few minutes. There was a servant on the front step, standing directly in front of the doors as well as, Vi was sure, another in the back. She had little doubt that her house was as well watched as it could be. Especially with the guard dogs in her garden.
Violet watched long enough for the servant to come down the steps and order the cab to be on its way. When Vi rolled down the window and eyed the man, she didn’t recognize him, and he didn’t recognize her.
“Out of here, lady. No lurking.”
“And if we don’t leave?” she challenged.
He shifted his shoulders, which were admittedly quite broad, but he also cracked his knuckles. Vi grinned and told the cabbie. “Two houses down.” To the servant running her away from her own house, she said, “Tell Hargreaves to send the chalkboards to Victor’s house.”
He paused, but the cabbie had already pulled away.
Victor’s house also had a servant at the front door. Violet got out of the cab and walked up the steps.
“What do you want?” the servant demanded. He glanced towards her house and then back to her. “I saw you bothering Herbie. You aren’t welcome to do the same here.”
“I’m Violet Wakefield.”
“So?”
Violet snorted and then repeated, “Violet Carlyle-Wakefield. This is my brother’s house. That house down there is mine. Knock on the door for me.”
He moved out of the way and said, “I’m not your servant.”
Her head tilted and she told him, “True enough.” She reached into her bag, unlocked the front door with her own key, and said, “You’re quite rude.”
“I was told to be rude.”
“I seriously doubt that. Who hired you?”
“John Smith.”
Violet grinned as she opened the door for herself. “Smith? Perhaps I was mistaken. Be quite rude.”
Violet walked into the great hall as the man bellowed, “Incoming.”
Victor’s butler came hurrying down the hall as Violet went into the parlor and found that Denny had already gotten the chalkboards into place.
He’d written “suspects” at the top of a board, but Violet shook her head.
“I’ve clearly infuriated someone. I have some ideas, but let’s be thorough. Let’s go backwards in time and catalogue all those who I might have tormented.”
Chapter 14
The chalkboards timeline started with All Hallows and worked backward to finding the snake. Kate was there, along with Victor, Denny, Lila, Rita, B
eatrice, Ginny, and John Smith. Vi grinned when she realized that the very fact this particular collection of individuals was meeting to attempt to uncover the prankster had to be mildly irritating to Jack and Ham.
“The most important thing,” Violet announced, “is that we figure this out before Jack and Ham, given they’ve abandoned us for Scotland Yard.”
“Did you tell them about this little get together?” Lila asked pointedly.
“No,” Violet said. “They should know. They’re investigators. Also, they didn’t tell me about the rude servants at the doors.”
“Let’s look back,” Kate said seriously. “Start from the beginning.”
“Obviously,” Ginny said, “you had that argument with Mrs. Partridge.”
“I’ve got my eye on Partridge,” Smith said. He sniffed as he added, “She’s a ripe—” He glanced at Ginny and cut off the curse word. “I’ve also looked into everyone you mentioned. Your brother could have done it.”
“Geoffrey?” Ginny gasped. “He wouldn’t.”
They all ignored her. “Ginny, of course, but she’s obvious. I assume you considered her.” Smith added.
Ginny gasped. She glanced frantically at Violet and Victor to check if they agreed.
“Ginny didn’t do it,” Violet told Smith flatly. “What about Danvers?”
“That man is stark raving mad, Vi,” Smith said, and Violet eyed him at the familiarity. “I’m not sure that mice would be his choice.”
Beatrice, however, snapped, “That’s Mrs. Wakefield to you.”
“What are you doing here anyway, Smith?” Rita demanded.
“You’re having a meeting about what is happening and I am your best asset.”
Violet scoffed. “Go away, Smith.”
He rose, eyed Beatrice and ordered her, “Be careful on the stairs.”
She narrowed her gaze at him. “Why do you know what the doctor told me?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Smith lied and sidled away as though he’d broken into the parlor. Knowing Smith, he might have done just that.
“You should never trust serpents even when you pay them,” Beatrice told Violet significantly. “Smith knows entirely too much about the details of our lives.”
“Or your life,” Denny said. “The man is interested in you.”
Beatrice stared at Denny. “Mr. Denny—”
“Let’s focus on the problem at hand,” Kate suggested like a responsible person. “We’ve failed on the chalkboards. None of this sheds any light on who might be engineering these pranks except, perhaps, for Mrs. Partridge. Anyone else hates you for a reason you don’t know about or they’ve hated you for so long that they’re serving their revenge cold and we won’t be able to pin them down without further clues.”
Violet groaned. She had come to the same conclusion.
“She’s all grown up,” Denny said. “This is what’s going to happen to Lila, isn’t it? She won’t enjoy my jokes anymore once we have our perfect tiny devil.”
Violet rolled her eyes and then got on with it. “Rita has suggested we follow the advertisement. Everyone we know has their ear to the ground. I think we should take other actions as well. I'm open to suggestions.”
“I have another idea,” Rita said wickedly. “While you were confessing to Jack, I was not confessing to Ham.”
Violet lifted a brow.
Rita lifted a brow in return.
“Stop, we’ve all given up. All of us. Our idiotic gestures remain. Did you want me to snort sarcastically?”
“Yes,” Rita said instantly.
Vi rolled her eyes again. “Tell me what you were doing, please.”
“I was checking on where Mrs. Partridge went. Were you aware that Sheila Harris invited her to stay at the Piccadilly Ladies Club after you revoked our invitation?”
“I knew I didn’t like her.”
“Which means,” Rita continued, “that the room she is in is oddly accessible to members of the club.”
“Conveniently so,” Victor agreed. “It’s ridiculous. Let’s do this then.”
“It’s a ladies club,” Kate told him. “I’ll go.”
“As the mother of my children,” Victor started, “you cannot go. I forbid it.”
Beatrice covered her mouth. Violet snorted, and Rita burst into laughter. Lila, however, yawned. Kate crossed her legs, leaned back, and stared at Victor.
“Ah—” Vi’s twin said, avoiding everyone’s gaze.
“Your voice squeaked,” Violet told him.
He gave her a pleading look.
“Probably,” Violet suggested, “you’re just trying to tell Kate that you love her and you want her to be safe.”
“That’s true,” Victor said desperately. “Also, Ham and Jack will be nicer to Rita and me than a new mother risking herself. Since they don’t—”
“Want consequences,” Rita finished meanly.
“I suppose that’s a good point,” Kate said carefully, “about—”
“Please don’t say consequences.” Victor cleared his throat and then rose suddenly. “I’m going to go ask Smith for lock picks.”
Violet laughed as her twin left and then told Kate, “You’re terrifying to my brother, and I like it.” She leaned back as she eyed Rita. “I like how you think. Let’s do this.”
“We can’t until 8:00 p.m. Mrs. Partridge has an appointment with Lady Eleanor Carlyle at that time for a donation.”
Violet paused as Rita added, “I might have used your Carlyle stamp to make that appointment, but it is across town, and I suspect she’ll wait for a while given the rumors of the Carlyle wealth.”
Violet stared at Rita’s smirk and then turned to Ginny. “Take note of Auntie Rita and learn from her slyness. Slyness won’t lead you astray in life.”
“I mean, it could,” Kate said carefully, glancing at Violet and then back at Ginny. “Lead with morals and then use slyness as a backup. Err on the side of goodness.”
“Lies are a tool,” Rita countered. “They are best used with men who prefer purity in their mates.”
“Ham won’t care that you had previous relations.”
“You had sex before marriage?” Ginny asked, eyes wide, expression shocked.
“No,” Rita lied. “Of course not. I just want to know if Ham would turn on me.”
Ginny glanced between them, looking for lies, and they all put on the same blank expressions. Ginny’s gaze narrowed. “I’ve been wondering. Are cocktails always so bad? I had one at your party, and it made my mouth numb.”
“Yes,” Kate lied, with a smile. “Of course. We enjoy alcohol for the light-hearted effects, but it does taste bad.”
“I thought Victor was supposed to be good at making them,” Ginny said, frowning deeply. “Why would he bother?”
“It’s a fruitless quest,” Violet said. “You can never truly understand a man.”
Ginny looked at all of them slowly. “I think you’re all lying to me.”
“We never would,” Violet lied. “Did you want to come with us or go with Geoffrey? I understand that my stepmother is not punishing him in any way for being sent down from school.”
“You aren’t punishing me,” Ginny countered.
“But you aren’t a wart like Geoffrey.”
“I like him,” Ginny replied. “He’s my friend.”
“Bloody hell,” Violet sighed.
“She’ll learn,” Lila yawned, “or she’ll fall in love and put up with his terrible ways like I do with Denny.”
Denny gasped. “So mean. You’re so mean to me, Lila.”
“It keeps you malleable. I don’t want to break into Partridge’s rooms with them as I’m almost positive Ham doesn’t like either of us and Jack is only mildly fond of me. If they wouldn’t be kind to Kate, they’d probably jail me.”
Violet flopped onto the sofa and propped her feet on Denny. “Move. My feet go there.”
“There aren’t any other seats,” Denny whined.
&nbs
p; “This has turned from a family meeting to a ladies meeting. You’re supposed to flee with Victor.”
Denny shoved Violet’s feet off of him and stood with a huff. “You should announce these things. How am I supposed to know?”
Violet put her feet back up on the sofa and told Kate, “You can’t come. You’re the mother of my babies.”
Kate groaned. “You ruin all my fun.”
“You did that when you had too much fun and made my babies,” Violet told Kate without sympathy. “Lila can’t come because she has the other baby inside of her. Victor can’t come because he’s a man. Ginny can’t come because she has to realize that Geoffrey is a wart and not good enough for her.”
“He’s the son of the earl,” Ginny snapped.
“It’s not that impressive,” Violet told Ginny. “You’ve also met his mother. Those things balance out. Have some pride. Besides, you’re a Carlyle now. He’s your uncle. You have to call him Uncle Geoffrey to remind yourself that he can never, ever happen.”
“He’s my friend,” Ginny snapped.
“No,” Violet countered. “Never. Even if he turns fully human instead of one-third human. Go find Victor and have him explain.”
Ginny jumped up and stormed out to Lila’s low laugh.
“Geoffrey has been getting better,” Kate tried. There was the sound of an infant crying and Kate cursed and rose, holding both breasts. “I am so tired of them doing that.”
Vi and Rita gaped, while Lila asked—horrified, “Is that breastmilk?”
“Yes,” Kate groaned. “I’m so tired of ruining my clothes.”
“But I love my clothes,” Violet said, mouth dropping open. “People should tell you this before you marry. Jack wants children eventually.”
“Follow your rhythms closely,” Lila advised. “I let Denny distract me and look at me now. Fat.”
“At least your ankles aren’t swollen,” Kate said meanly. “I hate you for your lack of swollen ankles, your lack of vomiting, and your general glow. You make me sick with jealousy.”
“I should think you’ve had enough of that when you were with children.” Lila smiled a slow evil Mona Lisa grin and then added, “Overachiever.”
Kate gasped and then one of the babies cried again and Kate grasped her chest even more tightly. “It’s like I’m a cow.” She stormed out.