He wanted to be able to sneak girls in and out easier, so one ambitious summer, we got together and finished the basement—turning the far corner of it into a large bedroom for Dare.
We even roughed in a bathroom, although Mama Deen ended up calling my dad when we accidentally flooded the basement. We were fifteen or something like that. He came over, all pissed off, and finished the bathroom properly while making the three of us work the entire time, too. He didn’t mention the great drywall job we did in Dare’s actual bedroom, or that we finished an additional common area prior to the flood—the flooring had to be ripped up, but still. Pretty good for three fifteen-year-old kids teaching themselves by YouTube videos.
Yeah, I could have asked him for help before stuff escalated—but asking my father for help was never a good thing. He acted self-righteous and condescending like his time and knowledge were a gift that had to be acknowledged and celebrated. Watching the YouTube videos was the far easier option, as Dare and Evan came to learn.
Tossing the pillow on one end of the couch, I lay down and tugged the blanket over me. I hadn’t bothered to remove my pants or shirt—I was far too exhausted, the task seemed almost pointless. No sooner had my head hit the pillow; I was drifting to sleep.
Harper
Some days are just meant to be fail days. Everybody has them—or at least, that’s what I tried to tell myself as I drew in a calming breath.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Asher’s eyes were downcast like he was afraid to look directly at me.
I exhaled, brushing a hand behind my ear. “It’s okay. These things happen.”
He’d been so eager to help out this morning, and starting the car was something he’d done a hundred times before—but today, he’d accidentally locked the door with the keys in the ignition.
We were already running late—extremely late, in fact. It was well past three o’clock this morning when I finally managed to drift off to sleep, after replaying the entire day—every second, every moment, every smile, every sidelong glance, and every touch.
I’d slept straight through my alarm, and it wasn’t until nine o’clock when Asher popped into my room and asked if it was a snow day.
It wasn’t. I glanced at my Fitbit watch, wincing at the time. Thirty minutes past nine.
“I’ll just call CAA, that’s what they’re for, right?” I said, gently taping his little nose. His little cold nose. “Why don’t you go inside and warm up? I’ll be right in.”
“Okay,” he said, his shoulders drooping. Before he could pass me, I swept him into a hug, making sure he finally met my eye before speaking.
“You’re not in trouble, bud. Things like this really do happen. I’ve locked the keys in the car before too, and I’ve locked myself out of the house. We’re both having an off day, I think. Are you tired?”
“No, I’m just excited! I can’t focus.” He admitted, lifting a shoulder, a smile tugging his lips out of the serious line they’d been. “I can’t wait to see Dad today!”
“I bet he’s excited to see you too.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Go wait inside, where it’s warm.”
He trudged up the front steps and into the mudroom, leaving me alone in the driveway. I drew in another icy breath, tugging my phone out of my purse to call my mom.
It rang a few times before she picked up. “Harper. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, well, sort of. I was wondering if you could drive Asher to school? My keys are currently locked in the car, which is running, and I’m sure CAA is going to take another half hour, at least.”
Before I’d even finished speaking, I could hear her moving, keys jiggling when she picked them up. “Of course. I’ll be right over.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I sighed, moving toward the porch. “Gotta call CAA now.” I disconnected, reaching the door. I opened it, popping my head inside. “Come on, Asher! Grams is gonna take you to school.”
“Can’t we call Dad? I bet he’d take me.” Asher appeared in the entryway to the kitchen, blue eyes hopeful.
“I’m sure he would, but Grams lives two minutes away, and Cal—your dad is fifteen minutes away. We’ll see him today after school.”
“Do you love him still?” Asher asked, tilting his head. I froze, considering him. There wasn’t a point in lying about it. He’d pick up on it eventually if he hadn’t already.
“I do,” I answered honestly, my tone careful. “But it’s a little more complicated than that…”
“So does that mean we’re we going to move in with him?”
“Woah buddy, slow your roll.” I laughed. “You’re going to have a room there, and you’ll be able to visit whenever you want.”
“What about you? I want us both to move in!” Asher said decisively, folding his arms in stubborn defiance.
“Don’t you like our house?” I gestured to it, unable to control feeling a little flash of hurt.
Sensing it, Asher relaxed his arms and stepped into the mudroom. “I love our house, Mom. But I love being together more. All three of us. If Dad moved in here, he’d hit his head on the stairs all the time, not just some of the time. There’s just not enough room for three, but it was perfect for two.”
I blinked at him, considering his words. “We’ll talk about it later…” Trailing off, I wondered how on earth I was supposed to explain it to him when I couldn’t even explain it to myself. I paused, hearing tires crunching over gravel. “Grams is here.”
He picked up his bag and flashed me an apologetic smile. Asher—much like his father—had a thousand different smiles, with a thousand different meanings. “See you later, Mom.” He wrapped his arms around my waist. I squeezed him back, letting go when his arms dropped.
“Love you!” I called after him, watching as he ran down the driveway.
“Love you, too!” He called back as he opened the back door, waving before climbing in and closing it behind him. Mom waved too, and I lifted my hand, mouthing the words, thank you. She nodded, putting her car in reverse, and backed out of my driveway.
Letting out a breath, I stepped into the mudroom and called CAA, requesting assistance. As soon as the agent assured me someone was on their way, I called Ellery to let her know I was running even later than I already was.
She laughed good-naturedly at me. “Take your time! Shelly seems to have a handle on it, and I’m here, too. Holly’s coming in at ten. Just know that I’ll be drilling the ever-living hell out of you whenever you finally do arrive.”
“I’d expect no less,” I said, suppressing a smile.
“All right, see you soon. I’ve got a store to run.” Ellery teased, disconnecting the call.
Left alone with my thoughts, they picked up where they left off at three a.m.
Heaving a sigh, I turned my head, my gaze going to the kitchen island. Desire flickered low in my belly in remembrance.
It was hard to regret my decision to throw caution to the wind and let Calum in like that, but I’d shamelessly let my libido do the thinking for me. It had been a long time since I’d felt desire like that. Ten years, in fact. It was long overdue.
I dated, but I could never bring it past second base, as embarrassing as it was to admit. It was that whole lack of connection thing, that lack of trust thing—it had been a killer for my libido.
But Cal…he awoke something voracious in me, even still. Our desire for one another had always been immense and bottomless.
It had felt amazing to have his arms around me once again, the comfort of a familiar desired touch. While he’d pushed inside me, he’d drove the hurt and the anger a little further out of my mind. With each thrust, each pass of his tongue over mine, he’d eased my contused heart.
Guilt dusted me in a thin coat of shame.
This reunion wasn’t supposed to be about Cal and me. Asher was the focus here, and he really was. He was elated at his father’s return and understandably wanted to spend every waking minute with him. But the more I indulged that, the deeper I fell, too.
Last night, I hadn’t wanted him to go, which is exactly why I let him. He’d dangled quite the carrot in front of me—brought me to a house so very much like the one we’d wistfully dreamed up in our youth. Just like before, he said and did everything right. Every glance, every touch, every word he spoke, made me fall even harder.
I couldn’t fight it; because he meant it. If he’d known, he would have come home a hell of a lot sooner. He regretted leaving, I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch, and see it in the way he acted with our son. He was here, now. To stay, it would appear.
And I…
Was I a stupid, foolish girl for handing over my trust so easily? For believing? For hoping? Once again, it was hard to decipher the Calum who left from the Calum who was here, now.
Crunching gravel alerted me to the CAA guy’s arrival, interrupting my ruminating and bringing me back to the problem at hand. I locked the door and stepped out of the mudroom, pulling the door shut behind me.
“Hi!” I said with relief, watching the guy grab his tools from the metal box on the side of his truck.
“Morning,” the man replied, nodding his head in greeting. He wore a black hat, a CAA jacket with the name Jeff inscribed on it. He had a thick, scruffy red beard and warm eyes that appraised me with polite comity. He gestured toward my car. “My name’s Jeff, I’ll have that unlocked in under two minutes for ya, ma’am.” He added, immediately setting to work.
“Great, thank you.“ I sighed with relief. My phone rang, Calum’s name flashing on the screen when I lifted it from my purse. “Excuse me,” I turned, hitting answer as I paced away. “Hello?”
“Good morning, beautiful. How’s it going?” he asked with a note of amusement to his voice that instantly made me smile.
“Oh, you know, wonderful, really. We overslept and my keys got locked in the car. I’m extremely late for work.”
“I know.” He chuckled, the sound washing me in warmth. “I just stopped by the bookstore, and to my surprise, you weren’t there. Ellery filled me in. I’m three seconds away from your house.”
“Oh, Cal, no that’s fine, you don’t have to—“
“Already here,” he replied, his Jeep pulling up beside the CAA truck, about six feet away from where I was standing. I hung up as our eyes connected. Swallowing, I gave him a timid smile.
He was wearing a pair of dark denim jeans, ripped at the knees, and a black Calvin Klein hoodie. If he was cold, he didn’t show it. His dark hair was combed and gelled back, sunglasses hanging off the collar of his hoodie.
“All finished, ma’am,” Jeff the CAA guy said, drawing my attention to my car. He was standing behind the open door. “But, you’re completely out of fuel, though.”
I winced, peering inside at the gas gage. “Crap.”
“Looks like my white knight services are required after all.” Calum chuckled from behind. He moved beside me and pressed a chaste kiss to my temple before addressing the CAA guy. “Thanks, man.”
“No problem. Hey…you’re that dude from that band! The Flopping Fish!”
I snorted, quickly covering my mouth with my hands, eyes swiveling to Calum for his reaction.
“The Forgotten Flounders,” he corrected with a genuine laugh, eyes full of amusement sliding to me before returning to the CAA guy.
“I know, I’m just fucking with ya.” Jeff laughed. “I’m a big fan of your music. You guys are incredible! My buddy and I caught a concert in Halifax a few years ago when you opened for Slitherhead. You put on a great show. Name’s Jeff.”
He held out his hand, and Calum didn’t hesitate to grab it in a firm shake, grinning. “It’s nice to meet you, Jeff. Thanks for unlocking my girl’s car.”
I frowned at my boots, not extremely comfortable with the public declaration to a stranger and fan, although it was hardly a shock.
I started thinking back to when we first started dating, to the first social thing he brought me to. Prior to that year, I never did the whole high school party scene. I was too busy with my books, busy keeping to myself because I knew each town, each school had an expiry date. I survived by telling myself that my life would begin in college. I would finally get to choose where I’d be, where I’d go, where I’d stay.
Then I met Cal—handsome, charismatic—seemingly untouchable until I captured his attention. Calum’s undivided focus was a clairvoyant experience. I couldn’t say no if it meant spending time with him—receiving his smiles, his touches, and his laughter. I’d been bereft of it for so long.
It was my first time attending a party in Nova Scotia, and my first-time meeting a lot of the people I’d later attend high school with in September. I was really nervous—but Cal proudly walked into the party with my hand in his and a confident smile, introducing me as his girlfriend to every person who approached us.
“It’s been great chatting with ya, but I’ve got another call,” Jeff said, jarring me from the brief jaunt down memory lane. He grabbed his tools, saluted us, and merrily made his way back to his truck, whistling as he walked.
“How about that lift?” Cal asked as he turned to me, his lips tilting upward, those blue eyes drinking me in.
“Yeah, thanks...” I tucked my hair behind my ear and followed him to the Jeep. He held the door open for me, watching me with a smile while he waited for me to climb in.
I buckled up while he walked around the front of the vehicle, my eyes following him as he slid in with elegance and ease. He even moved like music.
It was quiet in the car, silence stretching between us until I gave in and faced him. “Why were you at the bookstore?”
“I mostly came to pick up coffee and danishes for the guys. We’re checking out a local recording studio this morning.” He admitted with a teasing smile and a sidelong look. “Seeing you was going to be my treat.”
“Oh,” I said, surprise making my lips twitch. I relaxed a little, noticing the paper bag and tray of cups in the console. “Are you checking out Harmony Waves?”
“Yes,” Calum grinned, turning his attention to the road. “It’s a temporary solution. I still want that home studio, but that project will take time. While that’s happening, we still have to submit a single. We’ll need a space to record it in.”
I couldn’t help but watch him in wonderment. He was deadly serious about staying, and I know—that shouldn’t have come as a surprise, he told me as much. The thought of him staying for good made my belly flip with a mixture of trepidation and hope.
It probably cost him a lot of time, money, and resources to uproot the band and relocate from their primary location, but he didn’t seem to have a hint of frustration about having to do that.
“Are Dare and Evan okay with moving back?”
Calum’s gaze slid over to me, the corner of his mouth kicking up in a boyish half-grin. “They’ll go where I tell them.”
“That doesn’t seem very fair…” I trailed off, uneasy.
Cal’s fingers gripped the steering wheel, as if bracing himself, and nodded with concession. He glanced at me before speaking. “The way I see it—they’ve had me for the past nine years—the music, the label, the fans, the tours. The guys have my back—they know how much I’ve sacrificed for the band, and we’re in a really great place now. We have clout. We can call the shots.”
“That makes sense.” The words fell from my lips softly as I watched his profile—his strong features that appeared so sharp until he smiled. Feeling my attention, his eyes shifted to me, the corner of his lips kicking up.
“Trust me, Harp. They are more than okay with this.” He assured me with a smile before pulling his attention back to the road.
“Asher’s extremely excited to see you later today,” I mentioned, dropping this little factoid with hopes that it would water the roots he was putting down.
“I can’t wait to see him, too,” he replied, the full-blown grin that graced his lips made me feel like I’d given him a gift, something he hadn’t expected but desperately wanted. It made
butterflies riot in my belly, my heart kick up a notch or two, and my lungs forget how to breathe.
How could a smile send you into a tailspin while simultaneously soothing every fear was beyond me.
Calum’s hand snaked across the console to hold mine. I glanced at our entwined fingers, loving how his larger hand encased mine; loving the warmth that spread throughout my abdomen—loving it, whilst fearing its power.
My eyes rose to study his profile. He was driving one-handed, with his attention mainly focused on the road. He peeked at me and flashed a grateful smile. “Thank you for giving me the chance to be here now.” He said gently, his thumb tracing slow circles on the back of my hand.
“Of course,” I whispered. He gently squeezed my hand, releasing me so that he could parallel park in front of the bookstore. I’d been so distracted, so absorbed in our conversation and the feel of his hand holding mine that I hadn’t even noticed we’d neared our destination.
With a flick of his wrist, Cal cut the ignition. I placed my hand on the door, about to open it, but his voice had me pausing.
“Wait.”
I turned as he leaned forward, blue eyes pinning me, stilling the beat of my heart for a second. He cupped my cheek, the warmth of his callused hand reaching my bones. Brushing his thumb across the seam of my lips, before sliding it to cup my chin, he leaned closer and kissed me.
Slowly, taking his time, his lips sparred with mine in a carnal battle. His tongue slid against the seam, and my lips parted wholly in welcome, my tongue searching for his, his fingers slipping into my hair.
Fire exploded low in my belly, igniting my bloodstream and sending my heart galloping madly against my rib cage.
All too soon, he slowed the pace down, kissing my lips with reverence before pulling away a little. “Have a great day, beautiful. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” I whispered, somehow finding the momentum to open the door and climb out. I closed it once I was on the sidewalk, giving him one last smile before whirling and walking into the bookstore. At first, I was watching his reflection in the glass panes of our storefront—but then I realized we had an audience of our own.
Off Beat (Forgotten Flounders Series Book 1) Page 19