by Laura Pavlov
“Oh, do you still want to do that? I thought maybe we could just go back to my room and watch a movie?”
My heart started to race and not in a good way.
“I’m down to go to a movie,” I said, dabbing my mouth with my napkin.
“Okay. We can do that. Just thought it would be more… cozy in my room.”
Of course, he did. He was showing his hand, and I was losing interest with each passing minute. My phone vibrated again, and I leaned down to check it.
Gray ~ Pick up your damn phone. Stop ignoring me.
“You know what? That’s my roommate and she isn’t feeling well. I better just head home tonight.”
“Okay.” He didn’t hide his disappointment. “Let’s get the check.”
When he pulled up at the dorms, he didn’t get out of the car to open my door. Instead, he leaned over, catching me completely off guard and he kissed me. He all but climbed over the seat on top of me as he tugged at my cardigan and tried to pull it down. My hands pushed against his as I reared back.
A pounding on the window startled us both. “Open the door.”
Gray.
Normally I’d be annoyed, but this time I was so relieved for the interruption I couldn’t even be mad. I wouldn’t tell him that. I shoved Jaden away from me and reached for my purse.
“This fucking guy,” he said under his breath, and his tone sent chills down my spine.
This would be the first and last time I ever went out with Jaden, and I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. I yanked the door open and pushed out. There was a chill in the air, and I pulled my cardigan over my shoulders and slammed the door.
“You okay?” Gray asked, concern etched in his features.
Jaden stepped out of the car. “Do you want me to walk you to your door?”
Was he for real? He’d just pawed all over me and I didn’t want him near me.
“No. I’m good.” I stormed toward the entrance and pulled the door open as Jaden peeled out of the parking lot.
“Did he do something to you? I couldn’t see much through his goddamn tinted windows, but I could see him climbing over the seat. What the hell happened?”
I whipped around as he followed me down the long hallway. “Nothing. It’s not a big deal. I can handle myself. What are you doing here?”
I didn’t hide the anger from my tone. Was I happy he’d showed up?
Yes.
But it still didn’t explain why he was there. Why he was texting me throughout my date.
Why he cared.
“I needed to talk to you, so I came over here and that fucker pulled up just after I did.”
I started walking again and he trailed close behind.
“What do you need to talk about, Gray?”
“Uh, well, it’s the twins’ birthday next month. I don’t know what to get them.”
I pushed my door open and paused in the doorway and faced him. I didn’t invite him in. He didn’t get to just charge into my life whenever he felt like it and then send me packing when things got real.
“You texted me and drove over here to ask me what to get your sisters for their birthday?” I crossed my arms over my chest when his gaze moved down my body.
“Yes. You know them well. And you’re a girl.”
“Thanks for noticing,” I hissed.
“I always notice, G.” His tongue swiped along his bottom lip, and I squeezed my thighs together to stop the ache that always lingered when he was near.
“Why don’t you ask your girlfriend? She’s also a girl.”
He chuckled. “Who? Lila?”
“I don’t know her name. But seeing as you made out with her the other night, I assume you do. I’m obviously giving you too much credit considering your track record.”
He ran a hand through his hair, and I studied the movement. I wondered how soft it was. What the scruff on his face would feel like beneath my fingertips.
“My track record? You keeping tabs on me?” His voice was gruff, and he moved closer to me as he leaned against the doorframe.
“Hardly. The whole town knows you’re a manwhore.”
“Does that bother you?” he asked, and his face was so close to mine I could feel his breath against my cheek.
Again.
Been there, done that.
I pulled back. “No. I don’t care what you do, Gray. Just stop messing with me.”
He looked wounded. Almost vulnerable, before his gaze hardened. “I’m not messing with you.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I told you, I need to get some gifts ordered for Bea and Penn. I thought we were friends.”
I sucked in a long breath. “Bea likes to paint. Go on Amazon and order her a few canvases, some paints, and some brushes. Penn likes to read. You can order her the Junie B. Jones series. That was my favorite at her age, and I told her about it, and she said she wanted to read them. I’ll text you some links for everything, okay?” I started to close the door in his face. It had been a crappy night and I wanted to be alone. I couldn’t play this hot and cold game with Gray any longer.
“Thanks. You sure you’re okay?”
“You know me. I’m always okay. Have a good night.” I shut the door, leaving him standing there looking completely confused.
Get in line, buddy.
He was the confusing one. Not me.
The next two weeks had flown by. My class load was keeping me busy, and I’d found a new friend, Leo, in my pottery class. He was sweet and kind, and we’d been studying together and hanging out a lot lately. I didn’t feel any kind of spark with him, and I was fairly certain he was gay, but he hadn’t told me yet. He was cute and funny, and I enjoyed hanging out with him.
We’d ordered a pizza and were studying in my room, while we binge-watched Bridgerton on Netflix.
“So, tell me your situation, girl. Do you have a boyfriend back home? I don’t see you hanging out with anyone here at school aside from me and Addy,” he said, over a mouthful of pizza.
“Nope. Single and ready to mingle,” I said, and his head fell back in laughter.
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?”
“I went out with a guy who was kind of a creep a few weeks ago, and he keeps calling and texting, but I’m ignoring him. He just isn’t great at reading the signals. How about you?”
“Maybe we went out with the same guy.” He raised a brow in challenge, as if he was unsure if I knew he was into guys. “The last guy I hooked up with was a capital D, douchebag.”
I chuckled. “Was his name Jaden?”
“Sebastian. The dude was all about getting me in the sack. I’m apparently quite the catch,” he said, wriggling his brows.
“I’m sure you are.”
There was a knock on the door, and I pushed to my feet. “I hope it’s not that Bailey girl I told you about. She’ll never leave.” I whisper-shouted.
I opened the door to find Gray standing there looking like every fantasy I’d ever had. He wore dark jeans, a black fitted sweater, and his hair was a disheveled mess.
“Hey,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t talked to you in a while and wanted to see how you were. Do you want to grab some dinner?”
I sucked in a long breath because the boy literally stole the air from my lungs. I don’t know when it happened, but Gray Baldwin was my kryptonite.
“I’m good. I’m actually eating now. Just studying with a friend and watching Bridgerton.” I licked my lips because my mouth went dry when his gaze did a slow perusal down my body. From head to toe. Like he was committing every inch to memory. His eyes moved over my shoulder and he looked at Leo sitting on my bed.
“Hey, I’m Gray.” He tipped his chin, looking so vulnerable, it took everything I had not to explain that Leo was just a friend. But I did
n’t owe Gray an explanation. We were just friends. He’d made that perfectly clear. He did his thing and I needed to do mine.
“This is Leo,” I said.
“Nice to meet you,” Leo called out and suddenly there was an awkward tension surrounding us.
“Yeah. Nice to meet you too. Okay, G, have a good night. Thanks for those gift ideas. I ordered everything to ship here so I could wrap it. I’ll drive it down on their birthday.”
There were sides to Gray that were undeniably sweet. The way he loved his sisters being at the top of the list. The loyal friend he was to my brother and the way he cared for my family were impossible to miss. There was so much more to this boy than you saw on the surface. But he was complicated and wore an invisible shield around himself that I’d recognized a long time ago. But when he let me inside, I liked what I saw.
“That’s great. Let me know if you need help wrapping. It’s sort of my specialty.” I smiled.
What? Where did that come from?
“All right. I’ll take you up on that, because I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing when it comes to that.”
“Sounds good.”
“See ya, G.” He backed away and held his hand up before turning and walking down the hall. My gaze lingered a little longer than it should have on his ass as he strode off out of view.
I closed the door and leaned against it as I tried to pull myself together.
“Holy hell water and fire, who the mother eff was that?” Leo bellowed.
I laughed. “He’s my brother’s best friend. I’ve known him my whole life.”
“Is that so? You two have never bumped pleasantries?” He smirked.
“Um. Definitely no. I believe he bumps all sorts of pleasantries with lots of people. We’re more like family.”
“Girlfriend, you are not family with that boy. Unless we’re talking all sorts of inbreeding and backwoods inappropriateness. He just eye-fucked you right in front of me.”
I dropped to sit on the bed and laughed. “He did not.”
“You are such a little innocent one, aren’t you? Trust me when I tell you, I need a cold shower after watching the way he drank you in.”
“Well, he’s made it very clear that we’re nothing more than friends.”
“Actions speak louder than words, and what I just witnessed wasn’t even in the realm of friendship.” He laughed. “You haven’t been with a guy yet, have you?”
“You mean like sex?”
He leaned forward and rumpled my hair. “Yes, I mean like sex.”
“Nope. Not yet. Have you?”
“Girl, I lost my V-card when I was just fifteen. I lost it to a girl first and then realized that wasn’t really my thing. And I’m guessing Mr. Sexy is treading lightly because he knows how special you are. Hell, I knew it the first time we talked. Sweet as sugar, and pure as a nun at the Vatican City monastery.”
I slapped his shoulder at his ridiculousness.
“Stop. Can we please stop talking about Gray?”
“You can stop talking about him, girl. But I don’t think you can hide from it.”
“And why is that?” I asked as I rolled my eyes in dramatic fashion.
“Because it’s very obvious that he’s got Gigi on the brain. His big brain and his little brain.” We both burst out in laughter and I sat up and pulled myself together.
Maybe what he said was true.
But I knew Gray would never act on it.
Chapter Eight
Gray
I’d just left my counselor’s office and we’d talked about my course load for next semester.
I drove over to Gigi’s dorm. The girl had avoided me the past few weeks, and I was grateful for it. The temptation when I was around her had grown too powerful. I’d had a weak moment and driven over to her dorm desperate to see her. To feel her. Because when she was near, I felt her everywhere. I didn’t have to touch her. She was a part of me, and I didn’t know how that happened.
She’d been on a date, and obviously she had the attention of every fucking dude on this campus. I’d overheard that dumb fuck Jaden’s drunk ass talking to another pledge at the house about how he’d tried to make a move on Gigi, and I’d fucked it up when I’d knocked on his car window. He also mentioned that he’d tried to get her to come back to his dorm, so he could bang her brains out—his words not mine. I’d seen red and stormed the fucking castle and pummeled his ass.
I guarantee that fuckhead wouldn’t be going near her now. Not with a black eye and a fat fucking lip.
I’d been sober for six weeks since school started and I didn’t mind it at all. What I did mind was the bad case of blue balls I was dealing with. I hadn’t been laid since I’d been back to school, but I had felt Gigi Jacobs’ body against mine. Nothing had happened, yet she’d ruined me for all other girls. Hell, I’d found Lila naked in my bed after the party at our house last weekend. I’d spent the whole night searching the room like a pussy for Gigi, who never showed.
The sick thing about it. I was glad she hadn’t shown up because I couldn’t act on it, yet I was completely broken that I didn’t get to see her.
Can you say fucked up any slower than that?
And now I was driving to her dorm so she could help me wrap the gifts for my sisters before I headed to Willow Springs to celebrate my two favorite little humans. Truth was—I just needed an excuse to see her. I thought about her more than I wanted to admit.
My phone rang as I stepped out of my car with a bag of presents and a few rolls of wrapping paper.
My best friend’s name flashed across the screen. We talked every day. Always had.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said, pulling open the door to her dorm.
“Just going to meet Camilla for lunch, how about you?”
“You’re getting serious with this girl, huh?” I asked. Cade had always been a bit of player, so seeing him settle down with one girl was surprising.
“Whatever. Sure. What are you doing?”
“I just got to your sister’s dorm. She’s going to help me wrap some gifts for Bea and Penn. I’m driving back home today for their birthday dinner.”
“Glad to see you aren’t always a douchebag,” he teased. “Tell them I said hi. You know you can stay at the house when you’re there. My parents are home. They don’t leave for Hawaii for a few weeks. Not that you don’t know where the hide-a-key is if you go when they aren’t there.” He knew I hated staying at Simon’s house, but I could muscle through it for a night if it made my sisters happy. Katie and Bradley were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary next month and they’d been planning this trip to Maui for weeks.
“Thanks, brother. I’ll see how Simon is. We did that dinner when I was home a few weeks ago and he kept his jabs to a minimum. I mean, he still can’t resist, but he definitely made a bigger effort than usual.”
“Good. Maybe there’s hope for that asshole,” he said. “Any word from your dad?”
I ran a hand through my hair as I approached Gigi’s door. “Nope. He’s still MIA, which is never a good sign.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You hanging in there?”
“Yeah. Unfortunately, this is not my first time down this path with him, but it’s the first time I’ve remained sober through it, so that’s fun,” I said, not hiding my sarcasm.
“You still aren’t drinking? Damn dude, that’s fucking amazing. Never thought I’d see the day.”
I nodded. I’d had a few moments that I thought about taking a couple shots, but something stopped me every time. Thoughts of my dad. Visions of myself going down the same fucked up path as he has. Maybe his rock-bottom was my wake-up call. It sure as hell wasn’t his.
“Thanks, dickhead. I appreciate the confidence.” I laughed and knocked on the door. “All right, I’m here. I’ll call you from the road
.”
“Tell Gigi I’ll call her later. Give her a hug from me. On second hand, keep your fucking dirty paws away from my sister.” His voice was all tease, but I knew he meant it.
A fucking endless reminder that I couldn’t touch her outside of my dirty thoughts of course. Banging Gigi in my fantasies had become my favorite pastime.
“Goodbye, asshole.” I ended the call and dropped my cell phone in my back pocket.
“Hey,” she said, standing there with long waves cascading over her shoulders. She wore a flowy short dress with booties, showing off her tanned, sexy legs. There’d been an awkwardness between us since I’d almost claimed her in my room a few weeks ago at the party. “Come on in.”
“Hey, Gray,” Addy said, pulling her backpack over her shoulder. “You guys have fun. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“See ya.” I tipped my chin up at her. “Tell Jett I was fucking impressed with his game Saturday. The dude is a rock star.”
She beamed. “I will. Thank you.”
Addy shut the door behind her and the air in the room shifted. That invisible pull that always showed up any time I was alone with Gigi engulfed me. I tried to envision her with her little Princess Leia buns she used to wear, baking in her Easy-Bake Oven when she was five or six years old. If I could hold on to thoughts of her as a little girl, maybe it would push away the endless fucking vision of her sprawled naked beneath me. Writhing and begging the way I wanted her to.
Jesus.
Pull your fucking head out of the gutter, douchebag.
“Let me see what you got,” she said, dropping to sit on the floor. She had a pair of scissors and a roll of tape next to her.
My dick hardened at her words.
I’d love to show you what I’ve got.
I set the bag beside her and dropped to sit a few feet away with my back against Addy’s bed. I needed to keep some space there.
“They are going to love these, Gray. You did good.” She looked through the bags.
My fucking chest squeezed. Why did getting Gigi Jacobs’ approval make me feel like a fucking king?
“Thanks. You told me what to get, so I guess you did good.” I chuckled.